Some Dreams Can't Wait
by Animaltalker
Summary: A Novel Length alternate ending for Voyager, News from the alpha quadrant makes Chakotay and Katherine reevaluate the status quo.
1. Chapter 1

**Some Dreams Can't Wait**

May 16, 2378 0015

As he came through the door of his cabin Chakotay stretched his arms up over his head and yawned. He was beat from several days of pulling double duty shifts to help cover for Joe Carey's and B'Elanna's absences from Engineering. Joe was literally recovering from being dead. Verin had shot and killed him during Voyager's mission to retrieve the Friendship One probe. If the doctor hadn't thought to ask Seven of Nine to use her nanoprobes on Joe, as she had on Neelix three years ago, Chakotay would be worrying about more than replacing the assistant chief engineer for a week. Chakotay made his way to his bedroom and began stripping off his uniform and his boots. After an 8-hour bridge shift and 8 hours in engineering, a good bit of that spent crawling around in Jeffries tubes making some minor repairs, he needed a shower - a water shower, not a sonic shower.

As Chakotay stood under the warm spray hoping the torrents of water would soothe his sore muscles, he thought about the scheduling problems. B'Elanna's being absent from Engineering compounded Joe Carey's absence as both the chief engineer and her assistant were gone at the same time. B'Elanna was on maternity leave and would be until at least several weeks after her daughter's birth, even then she would probably work a reduced schedule. The doctor felt it was wiser for B'Elanna to be taking it easy and staying away from the multitude of dangers in engineering, though she was still nearly a month from her delivery date. He was especially concerned as she was experiencing regular bouts of Braxton-Hicks - false labor pains, though common and of no real concern in humans, in Klingons they could signal a premature birth. Of course, the phrase taking it easy and B'Elanna Torres went over as well as serving meat to a Vulcan.

Vulcan, that caused Chakotay to think of Ensign Vorik. Chakotay knew he could probably put more responsibility on Vorik to compensate for Joe and B'Elanna's absences, but he just didn't think that would do the rest of the engineering staff any good, anymore than assigning Seven of Nine to Engineering would. If the engineering staff got upset then he'd just be making more work for himself in the long run, as his duties as unofficial ship's counselor would increase. So he'd taken to scheduling the captain and himself for a shift a day in engineering, it was hard on both of them but he knew how B'Elanna's mind worked and this was the solution she'd be most comfortable with even if he and the captain weren't.

Chakotay finished up his shower and after drying off, pulled on some comfortable gym shorts and a t-shirt. Although he was exhausted, he didn't bother going to bed but instead padded over to his desk and began looking for something to read. He knew he probably wasn't going to sleep anytime soon, so despite the fact that he had himself scheduled for bridge duty in less than 8 hours, he thought he'd try to find something light and recreational to read. Lately he wasn't sleeping very well. He knew he should probably go on a vision quest to sort some things out, but for some reason he just couldn't bring himself to do it, probably just his contrary nature rearing its ugly head.

He thought he'd probably be okay if he could just talk to Kathryn, but she was on opposing double shifts to his, they weren't off duty at the same time through the current duty rosters he had made up, about the only time he saw her was when he handed off the bridge to her between alpha and beta shift. Usually Chakotay was the one to help Kathryn with her insomnia, but now, he needed her. Chakotay's need to see Kathryn felt as necessary to him as eating or sleeping, no, more important than that, as important as breathing. Even if he didn't talk about what was really bothering him, just being in her presence would calm him, help him find his peaceful center again. He almost laughed at that thought, he'd hardly ever been at peace in his life until he got flung to the other side of the galaxy and started spending his days lightening the burdens of a Starfleet captain, and his nights dreaming of one day being with the woman within that captain. 'Whoa,' he thought, 'thinking about that won't help me relax, that's for sure!'

Chakotay came across the padd with his sister's letter on it. No need to reread it, he'd already read it over and over. It was difficult for him to grasp. Until he had received that letter he thought his only living relative was his cousin in Ohio. But now he knew that his beloved little sister Maliya and his niece Taya were also alive. He had thought they were killed nearly ten years ago when the Cardassians destroyed the tribal settlements on Trebus. His sister had not gone into great detail, but had said that the Cardassians had taken two or three women from each village before launching their attacks. His mother, sister and niece had been taken from his home village. Maliya and Taya had spent seven years on Cardassia Prime, only being able to leave after the Federation came to help with the reconstruction of the planet after the Dominion War.

Maliya didn't say what they had been doing on Cardassia Prime all that time, but he knew. He knew what Cardassians would do with beautiful women like his mother, sister and niece. They would make them serve as pleasure women to their military men. Every time he thought of it his blood boiled with anger, his niece would have only been thirteen when those snakes took her. His rage was only surpassed by the extreme guilt he felt. He kept hearing his father's voice saying, "Chakotay, you must take care of Maliya. She is your little sister and your responsibility." He should have been there to protect her, to protect all of them. It was his duty as the eldest son of the clan. He should have resigned his commission as soon as the Federation turned their back on the colonies in the DMZ. He wondered over and over again why he hadn't heard about captives from his home world being held on Cardassia while he was in the Maquis. If he had known, he could have, no, would have launched a mission to rescue them. The only bit of relief he had from the unrelenting guilt he felt, was reading in his sister's letter that his mother had died in route to Cardassia Prime, when a young Cardassian Glin named Damar, struck her too hard, breaking her neck. He felt a strange sense of gratitude to this Damar for inadvertently doing what he should have been there to do himself.

Chakotay realized that thinking about the letter again was just getting him more agitated. He should talk to B'Elanna about it. She was his oldest friend and she would understand, but ever since he had received Maliya's letter he'd been avoiding B'Elanna. He couldn't even say why he was doing it, but he knew he was. He really wasn't going to feel better about any of it until he spoke to his sister. But thanks to the stupid legal battle over the doctor's holonovel, everyone's calls to home had been put off for a while and he had drawn a rather high number, it would be more than a month before he could talk to her and then he would only be able to speak to her for three minutes. He needed to stop thinking about this and find something to read that would help him relax so he could sleep.

Chakotay's hand came to rest on the Padd that contained his download of the Federation Chronicle and the Star Fleet Gazette. He had always enjoyed reading these two periodicals when he had been in Star Fleet before, so he thought he might enjoy them now. He imagined that reading the Chronicle might actually give him a better picture of the political situation in the alpha quadrant, but politics wasn't exactly a relaxing topic so he decided to start with the Gazette.

He sat in his most comfortable chair and looked at the table of contents. One article sort of leapt off the page at him "Contraception or Involuntary Sterilization: The Case Against Long Term Use of Boosters" The title was perhaps a bit sensationalized but the problem it exposed was a serious one, and one which struck Chakotay to his core. The article detailed a problem that career "fleeters" were beginning to experience. When humans or humanoids who had taken the standard contraceptive boosters prescribed by Star Fleet Medical for many years decided to stop taking the boosters and start a family, they discovered that the prolonged use of the boosters had caused a marked decrease in their fertility, even months after they have stopped taking the boosters. Additionally, couples able to become pregnant within the first year after stopping use of the boosters were experiencing miscarriages or were having to have prenatal genetic surgeries on their children to prevent serious birth defects. The article went on to add that the problem seemed worse among those who had been on the boosters for more than twenty years or had started taking the boosters at a young age. When Chakotay read that he cringed, he had been on boosters since he started in the academy over 25 years ago and because he had lied about his age when applying to the academy, so he wouldn't need his parents permission, he had been taking them since he was fifteen.

Chakotay let out a long shuddering sigh, he realized as he was reading the article that his fondest dream, a dream he barely allowed himself to admit to himself, might be impossible. He longed to marry Kathryn and have at least one child with her. Oh he wasn't deluded enough to think that she'd ever agree to a relationship while she was in command of Voyager and felt that she was constrained by Star Fleet protocols; but, if Star Fleet was correct, the deep space probes they'd sent out to rendezvous with them would reach them in six years. The probes were to include sensor readings for the area of space they'd covered and the specifications and materials to allow them to improve the efficiency of Voyager's warp drive so that they could increase their cruising speed to warp 8.5 and incorporate a cloak into their shields. That coupled with the second probe dropping caches with essential materials like dilithium crystals and vorilium along the path home, so that they wouldn't need to stop to trade or mine for such materials, should mean that it would only take an additional four years before Voyager returned to the Alpha quadrant. He and Kathryn had not told the rest of the crew that they might be home in ten years because there was the remote possibility that the rendezvous might not occur, the probes could be destroyed before they reached them or the caches might be, though the loss of the caches would only set them back a few years. If the rendezvous did occur, then in ten years they'd reach the alpha quadrant.

In ten years he and Kathryn would be fifty-two. Middle age was not exactly the best time to start a family but in this day and age it wasn't unheard of, after all most humans lived to be 120, some like Admiral McCoy got a good deal past that. But if they both remained on the contraceptive boosters for another ten years, how long would it take for their natural fertility levels to return? Or would they return at all? Chakotay sat with the padd forgotten in his hand, lost in his thoughts.

When Chakotay came out of his reverie he asked the computer for the time, it was 0147; he was due on the bridge at 0800. He had to try to get some sleep. He tossed the padd on his desk then walked into his bedroom and pulled the covers back and crawled into bed. Surprisingly he fell asleep shortly after his head hit the pillow. But it wasn't a restful sleep.

He began having a strange dream or maybe it was better termed a nightmare. It started out innocuously enough, he was talking to Kathryn in the ready room but the topic of discussion was weird, they were talking about Chell replacing Neelix, as though Neelix had left the ship. Next Kathryn asked him to lunch and he declined saying he had other plans. Then the dream got down right bizarre as he found himself on a date with Seven of Nine!

* * *

May 16, 2378 0730

When Chakotay awoke in the morning about 30 minutes before his bridge shift was due to start, he was plagued by the nightmare. He found he couldn't recall it very well nor could he make much sense of what he did recall, he remembered flashes of things. He remembered seeing Kathryn as maybe 25 years older than she was now and of fighting the Borg again, he also remembered kissing Seven of Nine! Chakotay sat on the edge of his bed and pondered the dream. What did it mean? He knew that what was usually important in a dream was not what actually happened but how one felt. Well, he knew what he felt; he felt guilt, sadness, apprehension and confusion. Well that's pretty much what he'd been feeling when he went to bed. Suddenly he realized he'd been sitting there for quite a while and had no idea what time it was. So he asked the computer for the time, 0754. Damn, he wasn't even dressed yet; he'd be late for his shift on the bridge!

He hastily stripped and threw on clean underwear and a uniform, then grappled with his socks and boots, having more trouble than usual because he was rushing. He stood before the mirror in his bathroom; taking one of his oval military hairbrushes in each hand he quickly brushed his hair into a reasonable semblance of his normal hairstyle. Finally he put his rank insignia on his shirt and headed out the door to the turbolift at a jog.

As he waited for the lift Chakotay contemplated calling the bridge and saying he'd be a bit longer so he could grab some breakfast, but he decided he could just as easily duck into the ready room after he took the reports for change of shift and use the captain's replicator to at least get a cup of coffee, a piece of fruit, a bowl of cornmeal mush, a pastry and - man he chuckled to himself, he was hungrier than he'd thought. As he approached the turbolift, the doors opened and Kathryn Janeway emerged. If Chakotay hadn't been tired and distracted he might have been able to school his features as he usually did, but instead at the sight of Kathryn, a smiled spread over his handsome features like the sun rising.

"Good Morning, Kathryn." He said in a warm voice. As his eyes feasted on the site of her, he felt, as he knew he would in her presence - peaceful, centered and oh so happy just to be breathing the same air as she was.

Kathryn looked into his eyes and saw something she hadn't seen in a long time, Chakotay's deep and abiding love for her. He was always so careful to hide his feelings because he respected her decision regarding their relationship and knew not to make her feel uncomfortable, but this morning his feelings were there in full view. She wondered why. "Hello, Chakotay. You're late for bridge duty, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am. I guess these double shifts are getting to me." He replied. He didn't know what to say next but he wanted to prolong the encounter, so he held the turbolift doors open. He missed her so much and he'd been so unsettled lately, just being able to rest his eyes on her and let his ears drink in that smoked whiskey voice of hers was a respite.

"Me too," she said with a little laugh. Spirits, he loved it when she laughed. "When will Joe be released back to active duty?" she asked.

"The day after tomorrow. As soon as he's back I'm going to let him wrestle with the engineering shift rotations for awhile." The turbolift doors beeped to remind him he was holding up the car and probably the whole system. He tugged on his ear, as was his habit when he was feeling a bit awkward and added, "Well, I better let you go get some sleep."

"Yes, and you better get to your duty station before the Captain puts you on report. I hear she's a real bitch." She added playfully.

He stepped into the turbolift as he said with a big grin, "I don't believe a word of it".

* * *

Chakotay found himself grinning the entire way to the bridge. He stepped briskly out of the turbolift, greeted Tuvok and accepted a padd with the security report on it from him, as he made his way down to the command area of the bridge to relieve Harry. "Good morning Harry, sorry I'm late." Chakotay said.

"No problem sir, I know you've been pulling a lot of double shifts and besides you know how much I like sitting in the big chair." Harry said as he started to rise from the captain's chair and proffered another padd to Chakotay, this one with the operations report on it.

Chakotay took the padd and motioned to Harry to remain seated. "Then keep sitting in it, Harry. I'm going to take these reports into the captain's ready room to read while I get some coffee and a little breakfast." Chakotay stopped at the conn and picked up the report from navigation from Pablo Baytart, then headed towards the ready room.

"Uh, sir?" said Harry a bit uncomfortably. "You're going to use the captain's replicator?"

"Yes, Harry," Chakotay turned back toward Harry and replied with a grin "I'm going to use her replicator but my rations. I'm brave, not foolhardy." Everyone but Tuvok laughed, he merely quirked an eyebrow.

* * *

May 16, 2378 0810 Kathryn's quarters

Kathryn hadn't realized how much she had missed Chakotay lately until their encounter at the turbolift. She was surprised at the way his presence had chased away her fatigue and the way his smile had made her feel like she was basking in the sun. She was due to relieve him from the bridge in 8 hours and she knew she should get some sleep, but a relaxing bath sounded more inviting than tossing and turning in her bed and trying to beat her pillow into submission. She started the bath water and added some bath salts, then began removing her uniform, before she got very far it dawned on her that reading some of the articles in the Star Fleet Gazette while soaking in her tub would be enjoyable, so she grabbed the padd from her beside table and put it near the tub while she finished getting undressed.

Kathryn sank into the tub and picked up her padd to begin reading. She had always had a definite pattern to reading the Gazette; before reading the main articles she read the Status Report column where mention was always made of promotions to captain or admiral, retirements, class reunions and the deaths of prominent members of Star Fleet. Items in the last two categories brought tears to her eyes. She had missed her 20th class reunion, but her classmates had offered a toast to her and her crew, and Boothby had died.

She wondered if Chakotay knew about Boothby's death. While all cadets knew Boothby and were fond of him, some cadets had special relationships with him. Boothby had given her roses for her quarters, however she always wondered if that wasn't because her father was an admiral, but Boothby had trained Chakotay to box. Training a young cadet to box certainly wasn't a part of a groundskeeper's normal duty. She wondered if he had always trained some of the cadets to box or if Chakotay had been a special project? Maybe she would bring the subject up the next time they talked, which better be soon - she was missing him terribly.

She moved on to the main articles in the Gazette, when she got to the one about the contraceptive boosters the scientist in her was intrigued but the woman in her was very shaken. She had always felt badly about keeping Chakotay at arms length while they were in the Delta quadrant but she felt it was necessary. She had her dreams of what their return to the Alpha quadrant would mean to them. In her favorite dream she sat in a rocking chair as a dark haired baby with bronze skin nursed at her breast, then she'd hear Chakotay's voice speaking her name and feel and see his bronze hand upon her shoulder. God, if this article was right her dreams might have no chance of coming true. Suddenly her heart felt more chilled than the water in her bath had become.

Kathryn got out of her bath and after drying off slipped into her favorite peach nightgown. She got under the covers of her bed and ordered the computer to turn the lights off. She lay in the darkness of her quarters and let the tears slide down her face as she tried to sort through her emotions and calm herself enough to sleep. When sleep finally claimed her it was not restful, for she, like Chakotay before her, had a disturbing dream.

Chakotay had no idea that a few decks below him Kathryn had read the same article that had so disturbed him and was now gripped by a nightmare. He was keeping himself busy with shift reports and the new duty roster. As long as he stayed in the ready room he felt close to Kathryn and that calmed him.

* * *

May 16, 2378 1500

When Kathryn awoke that afternoon about an hour before the shift change she was haunted by the dream she had had. Her memory of it was fragmentary at best and while seeing Tuvok in what amounted to a mental institution and seeing her older self at Chakotay's gravesite were profoundly distressing, what disturbed her most was a conversation with that older self in which she was informed that Chakotay would marry Seven of Nine. That would never happen! He would never forsake her and certainly not for Seven. He would know how that would hurt her and he would never be so cruel. But there was a nagging doubt, what if she couldn't have children? Would that be enough to make him seek out another woman? And if he did seek someone else out, would it be Seven? Seven, the beautiful young woman who was at the least her protégé and who she sometimes thought of as a daughter, was there something about her that would capture Chakotay's attention, his heart?

Kathryn shook herself out of her reverie and began getting dressed. She needed to be her normal self when she arrived on the bridge in just a few minutes. She would find a way to deal with all that she had read and felt this morning. She would simply apply her formidable intellect and willpower to the problem and make it go away. She sighed, right now she felt like facing the Vidiians or the Borg might be easier. She brushed her hair, put her pips on and headed for the bridge.

* * *

May 16, 2378 1540

Chakotay had just reentered the bridge from the ready room and relieved Ensign Kim as Kathryn emerged from the turbolift. He was surprised to see her, as it was only 1540 hours, it wasn't uncommon for her to show up a little early for a duty shift, maybe 5 or 10 minutes, but twenty minutes was uncommon. He wondered if she wanted to talk to him about something.

"Good afternoon" the captain said to everyone on the bridge. "Tuvok would you mind taking the bridge for a moment? I'd like to speak to Commander Chakotay in my ready room before the shift change."

"Of course captain." Tuvok replied as he stepped toward the command center.

Chakotay waited for the captain to reach him then followed her into the ready room. He wondered what she wanted to talk about? Had she maybe read THAT article?

After they entered the ready room Kathryn went directly to the replicator. "Chakotay, would you like something to drink?" She inquired.

"Sure, as I've got another 8 hours to do down in engineering better make it coffee" he said.

When she noticed that her account had more rations in it now than it did yesterday she asked, "Why do you do that?"

"Do what?" he asked a bit perplexed.

"Transfer replicator rations to my account" she answered sounding a little bit scolding.

"Because" he replied gently "I promised that your needs would come first."

"Oh Chakotay" she said, touched by what he'd just said. As she came over to sit on the couch near him, she handed him his cup of coffee - with cream and two sugars the way he liked it. She wondered why his feelings for her seemed so close to the surface today. And why she couldn't bring herself to reprimand him for the romantic things he was saying and doing.

When she didn't say anything more Chakotay decided he'd better remind her of why she asked him to come in to the ready room. "Kathryn, you wanted to talk to me about something?"

"Oh, yes there are a couple of things." She replied. "First, have you been working on the next duty roster?"

"Yes, I spent most of this shift doing just that," He answered. "Why do you ask?"

"Well I have a special request", she said as she toyed with her coffee cup.

"Yes?" Chakotay said in a way meant to prompt her to continue.

She put her coffee cup down and clasped her hands in front of her, she suddenly realized that what she was about to say was probably crossing that carefully constructed line of theirs but she just had to -

"Well, if you ever again have to schedule us both for double shifts, please don't schedule us so that our time off doesn't coincide. I've missed you terribly." Her voice almost cracked on the last sentence and her eyes were bright.

Chakotay reached out one of his large brown hands and encompassed both of hers. "I'll try to remember that next time." He said with a smile. "And Kathryn -"

"Yes Chakotay?" she said expectantly.

"I've missed you too, more than I should say," he replied in a tender voice.

Somehow the way he phrased his last comment almost brought Kathryn back to her normal reserved self, almost - until she thought of the next topic she wanted to discuss with him. If he didn't know about Boothby's death, how would he take the news? Maybe he did know and that's why he was acting so strangely. Then perhaps he too had read that disturbing article in the Gazette and that's why his feelings seemed so close to the surface. Or maybe it was simply his sister's letter that was affecting him. She'd meant to talk to him about it, but then the doctor's trouble with his holonovel came up, and then the Friendship One probe matter and all the double shifts started so there just hadn't been time. She suddenly realized she'd kept him sitting there for quite a while without saying anything, what must he be thinking?

As Kathryn sat lost in her thoughts Chakotay silently cursed himself for saying the right thing in the wrong way. Spirits, he had a talent for that when it came to dealing with Kathryn and their feelings for each other. Just as he was about to break the awkward silence Kathryn finally spoke.

"Chakotay, I was doing some recreational reading after my last shift - The Star Fleet Gazette." Kathryn began.

Chakotay felt his heart freeze in his chest. Was she going to discuss THAT article here, now? He couldn't, he wasn't ready for that conversation, not yet! He felt like he wanted to bolt from the room.

"And well I read something that I, well, I wondered if you knew or not?" she asked tentatively.

Chakotay forced himself to sit tight, stay calm and ask "About what?"

"Did you know Boothby died?" she asked gently.

At first he felt relieved that she wasn't asking about THAT article, but then what she said really sunk in. He shakily put his coffee cup down and walked to the view port. She let him stand there for a while then went up and stood behind him, placing her hand on his shoulder.

"I take it you didn't know." She said sympathetically.

"No, no I didn't know" he responded in a strained voice.

"I'm so sorry, Chakotay." She inwardly berated herself for bringing this up now while Chakotay still had a full shift in Engineering to stand. "I know he was someone very special to you".

"Yes, he was" he answered sadly. He remained silent for a while "I guess I thought he'd live forever." He finally added.

He leaned back against Kathryn and she wrapped her arms around him, offering him comfort for his loss. How long they stood there like that neither knew, but finally a jovial voice coming over the commline shattered the moment.

"Dalby to Chakotay, hey you gonna come down and relieve me or are you playing hooky today?" The disembodied voice said.

Chakotay pulled away from Kathryn and hit his commbadge.

"I'll be right down, Ken" he replied wearily.

"You better, wouldn't want someone to have to dish out some Maquis discipline towards your chin." Dalby added cheerfully before discontinuing the communication.

"Well", Chakotay said as he started for the ready room door, "looks like I better get down to engineering."

Janeway stopped him by placing a hand on his arm, turning him towards her. "Chakotay, if you want to talk -"

He gave her a wan smile, "Maybe later, I think for now I need some time alone."

"Okay" she said as he left.


	2. Chapter 2

May 16, 2378 1620 Bridge

"Cha-" Tom started to speak to the commander as he existed the ready room but stopped the moment he saw the expression on Chakotay's face. The older man looked like he had just received some devastating news and he moved quickly to the turbolift without acknowledging anyone on the bridge. Tom swung around in his chair to face Lt. Ayala who had just relieved Tuvok at tactical. "Hey Mike, you know what's bothering Chakotay?"

Ayala shrugged his shoulders. "Well he-" the swoosh of the ready room doors cut off Mike's response as the captain came on the bridge and relieved Lt. Rollins, who had come on shift just before Tom to man Ops and been asked by Tuvok to take the bridge, so that the commander could make his daily security rounds.

Tom wasn't sure whether or not to ask the Captain about Chakotay's mood for fear it was something she'd said to him that had put the sorrowful expression on his face. He hated to see the big guy looking so down. He'd had a rough start with Chakotay but they'd pretty much gotten over it. When he thought about Chakotay now he thought of him as his wife's big brother. And as brothers-in-laws go he was one of the best. Tom decided to see if he could gather a few of the usual suspects in the mess hall for the dinner break to figure out what was up. He started sending out messages through the padd system.

To: B'Elanna Torres, Harry Kim, Mike Ayala, Scott Rollins, Ken Dalby

From: Tom Paris

Time Sent: 1622

Hey gang Chakotay just walked across the bridge looking like he got gut punched or he just lost his best friend. How about those who can meet in the mess hall at 1930, and lets see what we can do to cheer him up. Oh and in the mean time, if you know what gives, would you clue everyone else in?

To: Tom Paris

Cc: B'Elanna Torres, Harry Kim, Scott Rollins, Ken Dalby

From: Mike Ayala

Time Sent: 1624

I was about to say when the captain came out; it might be that letter he got from his sister. He hasn't seemed to be himself since he got it.

To: Tom Paris

Cc: B'Elanna Torres, Harry Kim, Scott Rollins, Ken Dalby, Mike Ayala

From: Kathryn Janeway

Time sent: 1626

You got it right on your second guess, Tom. I just told him that Boothby died. Although what Mike says is true too.

Paris, Rollins and Ayala all started guiltily when they realized that somehow the Captain had intercepted their communications.

"Its all right gentlemen. I'm not going to put you on report or anything like that". She walked down to stand beside Paris and placed a hand on his shoulder. She turned to better be able to see Rollins and Ayala.

"In fact I'd like to encourage you to do as Lt. Paris suggests and do a little brainstorming about how to help the commander through this rough spot, but - not while you're on duty".

There was a chorus of Aye Captains, and then Ayala ventured "It'll be hard though Captain, I mean he's the one who always helps everyone else through the tough stuff."

"Yes I know you're right, lieutenant," she replied softly "but perhaps just the fact that people are trying to help will make a difference." With that pronouncement the Captain returned to her command chair and the rest of the shift slipped by uneventfully, at least on the bridge.

* * *

May 16, 2378 1625 Engineering

When Dalby saw Chakotay come through the doors to engineering he was momentarily concerned that the commander was annoyed at him for the comment about Maquis discipline, but as he studied his former captain's face he realized it wasn't anger or annoyance etched on the warrior's face, it was grief and weariness. Before Chakotay had even had time to reach him, Dalby had decided his old captain was much in need of some time alone and he had a plan.

"Dalby to Vorik," Ken said.

"Vorik here," replied the young Vulcan.

"Get your butt back up here Vorik," Dalby ordered, "Chakotay's taking your assignment and you're gonna be in charge for a while."

"Have you cleared this with the commander?" asked Vorik

"No, but I'm about to - and Vorik, I'm not going to take no for an answer from him. So I repeat, get your butt up here." Dalby said.

"I will be up directly," replied Vorik.

Just then Chakotay entered the engineering office. "Hi Ken, sorry I'm late," Chakotay said in a weary voice.

"No problem, look I took the liberty of making most of the assignments already and uh - well I thought from the look on your face that you could use a break," at that comment Chakotay's head snapped up as he wondered what Ken had seen in his face.

From Chakotay's reaction Dalby knew this was going to be a tougher sale than he had originally thought, but he pushed on. "So why don't you swap assignments with Vorik and let him push the padds around up here in B'Elanna's office."

"I appreciate the thought Ken, but just because I'm having a tough time sucking it up today, doesn't mean the engineering crew should have to suffer under Vorik" Chakotay said.

"Whoa, wait a minute-" Ken was about to launch in on his former captain for his erroneous assumptions but decided that because Chakotay had had enough confidence in him to make him a Chief Warrant Officer that he should do this by the book. "Permission to speak freely sir?"

Chakotay wondered about the wisdom of granting Ken that liberty but couldn't really think of a good reason not to, so he simply said, "Granted."

"First, Vorik has spent the last 7 years working for B'Elanna, side by side with Human, Bajoran and Bolian crewmates. He's not exactly your standard issue Vulcan any more. The engineering crew will be just fine with him in charge." Ken stopped himself for a second and took a deep breath.

"And second, don't you ever say or even think that you have to 'suck it up' for this crew. For God's sakes Chakotay, I know that everyone on this ship looks up to you. The younger guys like Kim and Gerron think of you as a father figure and those of us who are a little older think of you as the big brother we wished we'd had, but none of us are kids anymore, not even Gerron. The Delta quadrant has made us all a little bit older and wiser. We don't need or expect you to be ten feet tall or able to leap tall buildings in a single bound." Ken's voice was beginning to thicken with emotion and his eyes glittered with unshed tears.

"For years I've watched you take care of everyone on this freaking ship from the captain on down to the lowliest crewman and you always know what to say or do. I've never known how you know when people just need a pat on the back or one of those broad shoulders of yours to cry on or-" Ken laughed a little "or one of your big fists in his face. But you always do." Ken could see he was getting to Chakotay so he pressed on a bit more.

"Chakotay if something is getting you down, it's OK for you to let that show. Hell if you need to stand in the middle of the mess hall and break down and bawl–it's OK. None of us is going to think less of you. If you need to go a few rounds in that boxing program of yours with a real live sparring partner, well I think I know a couple of guys who aren't completely terrified of your fists."

Ken noticed that Chakotay seemed to flinch when he mentioned the boxing program and he wondered what that was about.

"I don't think I'll be using that program for a while" Chakotay said in a soft voice.

"Why's that?" Ken asked quietly.

"Part of what's getting me down is I just learned that the man who trained me to box just died". Chakotay answered.

"Oh, Chakotay I'm sorry." Ken paused for a moment then said, "Look, just go with my idea for this shift. Let Vorik supervise engineering and you go do some mindless EPS repairs in a Jefferies tube in the middle of the ship, OK? Give yourself some room to breath."

"Okay Ken." Chakotay agreed, too drained to resist anymore. At that point Vorik who had been standing just outside the chief engineer's office listening to the whole conversation with his Vulcan hearing, entered. Dalby nodded at him and turned to leave.

"And Ken" Chakotay added as Dalby turned around "Thanks, you know you're not too bad at knowing what somebody needs yourself." Dalby grinned and left Chakotay with Vorik.

Vorik handed the commander a repair kit and said. "The EPS couplings that need overhauling are on deck seven. And Commander, Chief Dalby is correct in what he says."

"About what, Vorik?" Chakotay asked curious as to what the Vulcan had overheard.

"The crew do indeed respect, even love you, but they no longer need you to be their 'hero'. It would not injure them for you to show what you may think of as emotional weakness. Everyone on this ship, with perhaps the exception of Naomi Wildman, are mature enough to understand that human beings experience a wide range of emotions and on occasion need help from friends and family to deal with those feelings." Vorik stated.

Chakotay was shocked, Ken Dalby was correct. Vorik wasn't your standard issue Vulcan anymore. He had been underestimating the young Vulcan, probably for years.

"Vorik, I owe you an apology. I've underestimated your ability to understand your crewmates and myself. I've even let my misjudgment affect how I make work assignments," the commander said with a note of chagrin in his voice.

"No need to apologize Commander, it is a common error for non-Vulcans to believe that just because Vulcans have mastered their emotions that they are incapable of understanding the emotions of others. An error that is compounded by some members of my race being reluctant to communicate about such issues." With that Chakotay decided the only graceful thing to do was beat a hasty retreat to the recalcitrant EPS couplings on deck Seven.

* * *

May 16, 2378 1640 A Jeffries Tube on Deck Seven

Later as he sat in front of the access port for the first EPS coupling on deck seven, he realized why Ken had at first thought to give this job to Vorik. It was fairly boring work, which wouldn't bother a Vulcan that much, but might drive a Human or Bajoran nuts. Fortunately for Chakotay he had lots to think about so he wasn't going to mind a job that wasn't a mental challenge.

He thought first about the comments Ken and Vorik had made. He realized that not only did many of the crew think of him as a big brother or even a father, but that he had begun to think of the ship as his village and the crew as members of his clan. Perhaps he was being thoughtless not to turn to them when he needed solace.

He found himself thinking about each of the things that were bothering him: Maliya's letter, his avoidance of B'Elanna, Boothby's passing and the contraceptive booster issue. He felt he'd thought over the issue of Maliya's letter enough to know that he simply needed to wait until he could speak to her and he still wasn't sure he knew exactly why he was avoiding B'Elanna but the two things seemed connected.

Boothby, what could he do about how he felt about Boothby's passing? It was simply grief he was feeling and that was something he'd just have to work through. He knew the steps of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, he'd been through them often enough with members of this crew. When he thought of the most devastating loss of his life, when his family had died in the attack on Trebus, he realized he'd gotten stuck in the anger and bargaining phases a long time, but had eventually moved on. Where was he in the process of grieving for his old mentor Boothby?

He hadn't even thought to deny that Boothby was gone. He knew the man was elderly so his death wasn't exactly unexpected and he would never think to question what Kathryn had told him nor could he imagine that the Gazette had made an error in reporting Boothby's death.

Was he angry about Boothby's death? Yes, he realized he was. More startlingly he found he was angry with Boothby! It was irrational and almost childish but he felt like a man who was like a second father to him had abandoned him. 'Oh right Chakotay,' he thought to himself, 'the old man died just to spite you, just to make sure that you once again didn't get a chance to reconcile yourself with a man you loved like a father, over a simple matter of harsh words spoken.'

He found himself thinking back to the first time he'd met Boothby. It was early in his first year in the academy. He was sitting beneath a large tree with his Star Fleet issue boots and socks off wiggling his toes in the grass. There was something about feeling the living turf beneath his feet that calmed him and he needed a lot of calming these days. He was homesick and anxious. He missed his parents and sister and his friends. And he was dreadfully worried that someone besides the doctor who had done his intake physical would learn that he had lied about his age to get into the academy. The doctor had been cool about it and promised not to tell anyone unless it was absolutely necessary and he added that he couldn't imagine what would make it necessary to reveal the information. But still Chakotay worried, there were so many times when he did something that revealed him as naïve or inexperienced. Luckily so far everyone had chalked it up to his upbringing on Trebus, but he wondered when his luck would run out.

He had just brought his attention back to the padd in front of him. He was supposed to be deciding which sport to participate in. All cadets were required to participate in some sport or another throughout their entire tenure at the academy. They could of course change sports at appropriate times and in fact in most cases were encouraged to do so. Chakotay found the list rather unenlightening. On Trebus there were four main sports - Stickball, Foot Racing, Wrestling and Atlatl Competitions. As was expected of the son of the tribe's leader he was good at all of them, but he wasn't sure how that translated to the sports the Academy had. The only one he could find was Wrestling but they had two forms and he didn't know which one would be like what he was used to or if either would be at all. It would be a couple of years before he learned that lacrosse was a milder version of Stickball and that track and field included foot racing and the javelin throw, a javelin wasn't an Atlatl but he figured he could have adapted, but as it turned out he didn't need to, he would excel at a new sport. As he sat there contemplating what he should do, Boothby walked up to him.

"Hello cadet", Boothby said.

Chakotay leapt to his feet and for a reason he couldn't understand fought down the urge to call the older man 'uncle' as a young man in the tribe might call an older man as a way of showing respect and affection and instead replied, "hello sir."

"You don't have to sir me son, I'm not an instructor here just the groundskeeper", the old man smiled at Chakotay and pointed down at his bare feet. "Now there's a sign of a sensible lad, getting in touch with the land."

Chakotay smiled back at the older man. He was greatly relieved not to be scolded for going barefoot.

"What are you doing, son?" Boothby inquired and pointed at the padd Chakotay was holding.

"Trying to choose a sport, but I'm afraid I don't know much about these sports. They are very different from the ones played on my home planet." Chakotay replied.

"Would that home planet be Trebus?" Boothby inquired.

"Yes," Chakotay replied with enthusiasm. "How did you know that?"

"Well you look distinctly Native American to me and the only Native Americans I've heard of who don't live on Earth, live on Trebus. Here let me see that padd and lets see if I can help you decide." Boothby said as he motioned for the boy to resume his seat on the grass and then joined him.

Later Chakotay realized two things, one was that Boothby steered him to boxing so he could train him, but he didn't mind that. The other thing he realized much later was that it was pretty strange that the academy groundskeeper was an assistant trainer for the boxing team, but he supposed stranger things did occur.

Once he connected with Boothby most of his homesickness went away. He still had lots of trouble with his youthfulness and his contrary nature but he felt he had someone who was always on his side. In the vernacular of boxing he knew Boothby was "in his corner". That was important to a 15-year-old kid trying to pretend he was 18.

He remembered training sessions with Boothby and some real tongue-lashings when his contrariness got him in trouble. He recalled finally admitting to Boothby his real age only to discover that he already knew. Boothby explained that he had suspected Chakotay was underage and decided to check with the doctor who had given him his intake physical. At first Chakotay wanted to be angry but then he realized that Boothby only had his best interests at heart.

The memory of the older man laughing at him after his only loss suddenly popped into his mind. A young Nausican he had faced at the beginning of his second year had knocked him out with a brutal left hook, which Boothby pointed out he could have avoided if he hadn't been trying to show off for the pretty young redhead with blue eyes and porcelain skin who was seated in the front row. Boothby took great pleasure in pointing out to him that not only was she an admiral's daughter but she was jailbait to boot! Chakotay didn't understand that term at first, but when Boothby explained it to him he pointed out that as he was only 16 it shouldn't be that big a crime for him to be interested in a 15 year old girl! Boothby countered that as everyone but he and Dr. Adams thought Chakotay was 19 years old, it would be.

Spirits, Chakotay chuckled to himself, it just dawned on him, that cute redhead he'd been trying to impress all those years ago might have been Kathryn Janeway!

Chakotay's memory leapt forward to taking his leave of Boothby after his graduation. Boothby shook his head and said, "Well ensign you don't look much like the young cadet who sat under the tree barefoot fretting about what sport to take".

"Well I've grown 12 centimeters and put on almost 13 kilos since then" Chakotay said as he pulled on his ear.

"Yeah well if I'd known you lied about your age I'd have been prepared for you changing weight classes just about every year" the old man said.

"Hey don't say that too loud or I'll get in trouble", Chakotay interjected.

Boothby grinned at him "well when I said you didn't look like that young kid what I meant is you've matured, you've got a look of confidence about you now. You'll do fine, son."

The two men stood rather awkwardly looking at each other, neither wanting to be the one to say goodbye. A pretty blond ensign called out to Chakotay to hurry up. Finally Chakotay reached out his hand to shake Boothby's. The older man took his hand but then pulled him into a bear hug and said to him, "Go on now son, take care of yourself and write me once in awhile."

Chakotay did write Boothby occasionally, every time he was promoted or transferred. He remembered the first time he wrote, when he made Lieutenant junior grade, he realized he didn't have an address for Boothby so he just sent the letter to

Boothby

Star Fleet Academy

San Francisco, California, Earth.

He got a congratulations note back with that same return address. Every time he was promoted he got such a note and the one time he was demoted he got a letter from Boothby telling him to be calm about the set back and reminding him that he was lucky, if headquarters had really wanted to they could have cashiered him out of the service for lying about his age on his application. The fact that they didn't meant that they recognized what a good officer he was. Boothby wanted details about the incident that had led up to the truth about his age coming out, but Chakotay couldn't bring himself to tell Boothby about it and he wondered how Boothby had found out about his demotion in the first place.

The next time he saw Boothby was over 11 years later when he returned to the academy as an instructor in 2366. He wondered if Boothby would remember him? He found the older man working in a flowerbed. "Do you need any help, Boothby?"

The older man looked up at him and said, "Sure son, give me a hand up, I'm not as young as I used to be." As Chakotay helped the older man up he said, "So you're going to be teaching Advance Tactical, huh?"

Chakotay felt like the sun has risen on him. Not only did his old mentor remember him, Boothby already knew what class he would be teaching.

"Yes, though I'm not sure how I got recommended for this position. I mean, well you know." Chakotay didn't want to say something that would make it sound like he was crowing about the coup this position was.

"You mean that teaching Advance Tactical is the position they reserve for officers that they are grooming for a captaincy of one of the more prized ships in the fleet?" Boothby replied.

Chakotay pulled on his ear and said, "Yeah, well-"

"Look Chakotay its not a mistake, you deserve this." Boothby hooked his arm around Chakotay's shoulder and said, "Come on lets go to the Gym, I've got a light heavyweight needs a new sparring partner."

"Uh, you think its ok for a new instructor to spar with a student?" Chakotay asked uncertainly.

Boothby laughed, "Don't you remember sparring with Sandoval?"

"Oh yeah, I'd forgotten about him," Chakotay responded with a smile.

"Well let's go see if you can make more of an impression on this cadet than Sandoval did on you."

* * *

May 16, 2378 1930 Mess Hall

While Chakotay was mindlessly working on EPS couplings and reminiscing about Boothby, a brainstorming session was taking place in the mess hall. Tom, B'Elanna, Harry Kim, Ken Dalby, Mike Ayala, the Delaney twins - Jenny and Megan and Samantha and Naomi Wildman all gathered around a table. Ken Dalby was just filling everyone in about the "lecture" he had given Chakotay a little while ago.

"Of course I hadn't seen your messages or I don't think I'd have said anything about sparring partners" Ken added.

As murmurs of assent and tender sentiments about Boothby circled the table, Naomi asked. "What did Commander Chakotay mean when he said he had to 'suck it up'?"

Tom Paris jumped in to the silence that had descended on the table and replied. "Naomi when someone says they have to 'suck it up' they mean they have to pretend that something that is really hurting them isn't bothering them at all."

"That's not fair." Naomi proclaimed indignantly. "If something is hurting Commander Chakotay he should have as much right to cry about it as anyone else."

"He does Naomi, he just doesn't feel like he should because he's the first officer of the ship." Tom answered.

"Oh," Naomi said, "kind of like how the Captain doesn't think she has the right to have a boyfriend because she's the Captain?

There was laughter and a chorus of "rights" then Mike Ayala said "out of the mouths of babes."

Naomi indignantly replied "I'm not a baby anymore."

Mike reached over and drew the young girl to his side and said, "I know that Naomi but until B'Elanna's baby is born you're the closest thing any of us have got." He then looked at her in a very charming way and asked, "Forgive me?"

Naomi blushed and said "Sure." Next to Commander Chakotay, who was "taken" anyway, Lieutenant Ayala was about the handsomest man onboard or at least that's what she thought.

"Well gang, any suggestions on how to cheer up Chakotay?" Tom asked.

Jenny Delaney said, "Well if we could change the Captain's mind about the boyfriend issue that would cheer him up." There was some nervous laughter at the table as people thought about previous failed attempts to bring the captain and commander together.

"Yeah, well I think we all know by now that's not happening and any intervention on our part usually ends up hurting Chakotay more than helping." Said B'Elanna.

"Besides," Harry added, "what he's down about right now doesn't seem to be about the captain but about his sister and Boothby."

"Yes, Harry," B'Elanna added, "but there's more to it I'm certain of that."

"Why are you so sure there's something else, honey" Tom asked.

"Because Flyboy," B'Elanna replied a little ticked at Tom for calling her honey, "ever since he got his sister's letter he's been avoiding me."

Just then Neelix dropped by the crowded table and said, "Well I think I understand what that might be about."

"Well?" Tom said, exasperated when Neelix didn't continue with an explanation.

"Well-" Neelix began reluctantly. He looked rather bashfully at Samantha Wildman. "Well, after I'd been on Voyager for awhile I began to make friends, including Samantha, and at a certain point I started feeling guilty about my friendship with Samantha and pulled back."

"I remember that" Samantha interjected.

"Why did you feel guilty?" B'Elanna asked very interested.

"Because I began to realize I was letting Samantha fill the role of sister in my life and I felt like I was betraying the memory of my sister Alixia." Neelix replied softly as Samantha took his hand and squeezed it gently.

"What made you stop pulling away?" Samantha asked.

"Kes," Neelix replied. "She talked with me for a long time. Asking me about Alixia. Kes convinced me that my sister would want me to have the kinds of friends who come to mean as much to me as family."

"Sorry folks I must go, somebody needs me at the counter" Neelix said and made a hasty retreat. Everyone in the group recognized Neelix's retreat for what it was. As effusive as the man could be at times even he could have a tough time talking about his feelings so openly.

B'Elanna considered Neelix's words. "Do you think- could Chakotay be feeling guilty about his relationship with me now that he knows his sister is alive?" she asked.

"Maybe," Tom answered, "of course its kind of stupid."

"What do you mean by that," B'Elanna said sharply, she was about to get mad at Tom on Chakotay's behalf.

"Well, a man can have more than one sister. I do." Tom said simply.

"Well," B'Elanna chuckled, "if that's his problem, I'll simply tell him that and it ought to fix that problem fast enough."

"You know if it were me and I had thought my sister was dead for what, ten years? And then I found out she was alive; I'd wonder what happened to her all that time. I mean, Chakotay wasn't in the Delta quadrant the whole time. Couldn't she have gotten a message to him sooner that she was OK?" Harry asked.

"Well I don't know Harry," B'Elanna replied, "all that time Chakotay was in the Maquis. It would have been tough to get word to him." B'Elanna didn't add what many at the table were thinking, that maybe Chakotay's sister hadn't been OK while he was still in the Alpha quadrant.

"Tough, but impossible?" Harry asked.

"Darn near," replied Mike Ayala, "unless she knew what his codename was or could guess it."

"Did you all have a codename in the Maquis?" Harry Kim asked eagerly.

"No, Starfleet," B'Elanna replied affectionately, "only the cell leaders."

"So what was Chakotay's codename?" Megan asked.

B'Elanna looked at Mike Ayala and Ken Dalby and they nodded to her to go ahead. None of them noticed Kathryn Janeway walk up behind the group.

"His codename was Jaguar," the captain said.

Everyone's head swung around to look at the Captain.

Harry Kim said with a hint of awe in his voice, "Wow, Chakotay was the Jaguar?" Harry Kim, with his interest in the Maquis while he'd been in the Academy, had certainly heard of the notorious Jaguar.

B'Elanna asked, "How did you know that, did Chakotay tell you or did Tuvok?"

"Neither," the captain replied, "Starfleet knew Chakotay was the Jaguar - it was really a fairly obvious codename for him." Janeway turned to face Harry and continued, "You don't think Star Fleet and the Obsidian Order would have planted operatives on Chakotay's ship if he hadn't been the biggest threat the Maquis had, do you, Harry?" Janeway replied.

"Captain?" Harry Kim began.

"Yes, Harry?" Janeway responded.

"Why do you say it was an obvious codename for him?" Harry liked learning new things about his role model, so he was anxious to hear the captain's answer.

"Because he is the oldest living male member of the Jaguar clan. Chakotay's tribe believes that his clan, and more specifically his family, are direct descendants of the Jaguar kings of the ancient Mayans." Janeway told Harry rather proudly. The romantic in Janeway liked this aspect of Chakotay's background.

"So you mean," Harry asked incredulously, "that Chakotay is like – the hereditary king of his people?"

"Yes," Janeway replied between sips of coffee, "but don't ever ask him about it or let him know I told you about it, OK?" Janeway couldn't for the life of her figure out why she had just revealed that tidbit of information about Chakotay. She knew from conversations she and Chakotay had had on New Earth that he'd never been comfortable with his father's or his tribe's expectations of him

"So," she asked, "have you come up with an idea to cheer up Chakotay?"

"Not yet", Tom said somewhat frustrated. "We've mostly been hashing over why we think he's so down."

Megan Delaney said, "I think we should do something to show him how much we appreciate all he does for this crew."

"Yeah, we should have a party and give him a gift of some kind." Her sister added.

"Well, what sort of gift would Chakotay appreciate?" Tom asked, already warming to the idea of a party.

"I've got it," Harry said, "more time."

"What Harry?" B'Elanna asked.

"I was just thinking about if I were in his shoes- and I realized I'd sure want more than 3 minutes to talk to the sister I thought had been dead for 10 years." Harry said. There were murmurs of assent around the table.

"Lets have a party and as a gift give him all the communication time on one day" Jenny said.

"Well I have no objections but I think it would be a good idea to get all of the crew to agree. After all some people will be giving up the time they should be having to talk to their loved ones." Kathryn said.

"Yeah, well it wouldn't be the first time and the reason seems better than a trial over a holonovel," Ken Dalby muttered under his breath.

B'Elanna said rather loudly to cover up Ken's muttering, "Just one problem with this idea, Chakotay probably won't let us have a party for him if he knows about it ahead of time. I mean think about the fiascos his birthday parties usually are." There were many nodding heads at that remark. "What excuse are we going to give for this party? And don't look at me, we've already had the baby shower."

"How about my birthday?" The captain suggested. "Only how about you have it the day before, that would be Chakotay's half birthday." She added with a grin.

"His half birthday?" several people asked.

"Yes Chakotay is almost exactly three and a half years older than me. His birthday is November 19th and mine is May 20th." The captain shifted into her giving orders mode. "Neelix, Tom you two plan a birthday party for Commander Chakotay for May 19th, draft anyone you need. The rest of you start informing the crew of the real plan and make sure everyone is all right about the communications gift. Naomi?"

"Yes, Captain?" the young girl replied wondering what her assignment might be.

"Your primary duty is to make sure the Commander believes this party is for me, understood?"

"Okay, but Captain, don't you want a birthday party and presents for yourself, too?" Naomi asked as only a child could.

"Oh Naomi if this party cheers Chakotay up it will be all the birthday party and present I need." Janeway said as she hugged Naomi. "Ladies and gentlemen I believe many of you are overdue back at your posts."

Amid chair scuffling and trays sliding a chorus of "aye captains" rang out.

As the group departed no one realized how much "sucking it up" Kathryn Janeway was doing herself. The contraceptive booster issue was preying on her mind.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: Nice to see a few people adding the story to their favorites list and putting the story on alert would be even nicer to see a few reviews, the story is complete so the more reviews I get the faster I'm likely to edit and upload chapters

May 16, 2368 1950 A Jeffries Tube on Deck Seven

Back in the Jeffries tube on deck seven Chakotay's mind was still taking him on a stroll down memory lane and this time it brought him to the last time he'd seen Boothby. He didn't really want this scene to replay in his mind but he couldn't help it. It came unbidden. It was March 3rd 2368. Chakotay had just existed Admiral Nimembeh's office and was angrily striding across the academy grounds.

"Whoa, son where you going in such an almighty hurry?" Boothby asked Chakotay as he snagged an arm to detain him.

Chakotay stopped but shook his arm free of Boothby. "To get the hell away from this Academy and anything else to do with Star Fleet." Chakotay replied so angrily that it seemed as those his words were meant to be verbal blows.

Boothby realized that Chakotay's commbadge and pips were gone.

"Did you just resign your commission?" Boothby asked in a demanding, almost angry tone.

"Got it in one old man." Chakotay replied.

Boothby's question was a simple one. "Why?"

"Why?" Chakotay repeated. "Because the fucking Federation was so interested in peace with the Cardassians that they were willing to pay any price. And the latest price was Trebus."

"What are you talking about Chakotay?" Boothby asked in a gentle tone.

"They're dead Boothby, all of them - my mother, my father, my sister, my niece and nephew, all my friends." Tears started to stream down Chakotay's face and his breathing was ragged with the emotions that were pouring out of him. "And I wasn't there to defend them because I was spending my time teaching a bunch of bratty cadets tactics that their commanding officers are too cowardly to use."

"And what will your resignation accomplish, son?" Boothby felt he had to keep him talking, hoping he could calm him down before he decided to do something more foolish than resigning.

"I can go and avenge my people's deaths and defend the other colonies along the DMZ" Chakotay said and began moving away.

"How? By joining the Maquis?" Boothby asked sharply as he followed Chakotay.

"Yes" Chakotay answered tightly, as he continued his quick retreat from the Academy grounds "they could probably use a fighter well versed in tactics don't you think?" he asked his old mentor in a sarcastic tone.

"I suppose they could use a good commander, but a man seeking revenge won't do them much good." Boothby replied to Chakotay's retreating back.

Chakotay's eyes filled with tears to the point he couldn't see the EPS coupling he was working on. He wiped his eyes. He wished his last words to Boothby hadn't been so angry. He wasn't angry with Boothby. He was just so filled with grief and anger that it spilled over on everyone around him, even the people he loved. He had gone off to join the Maquis and it wasn't long until he realized that Boothby was right. Men and women who were consumed with the desire for revenge really were a liability to the cause. He learned to control his lust for vengeance, but he had learned recently that it had never really left him.

Chakotay's stomach rumbled and he laughed when he remembered Boothby saying he thought Chakotay had the loudest stomach he'd ever heard. He asked the computer for the time, 2027, and realized that it was past time for a meal break but he wasn't sure he could face a bunch of people in the mess hall. Maybe-

"Chakotay to Neelix" he hailed the Talaxian, knowing he'd probably be willing to bring something down to him if he just asked.

"Yes, commander?" Neelix replied.

"Neelix, I'm working on the EPS couplings in the Jeffries Tubes on deck seven and I was wondering if you would mind bringing me a snack?"

"I'd be glad to commander, your snack will be there in a jiffy," Neelix said.

Chakotay had no way of knowing that just a few minutes ago Neelix had been privy to a brainstorming session on how to cheer the commander up, if he had he might not have been so shocked when the food tray materialized next to him in the Jeffries tube. He lifted the napkin that was covering the tray and found a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a thermos of mushroom soup, an apple, an oatmeal chocolate chip cookie and a glass of ice tea sweetened just the way he liked it with a wedge of lime in it. The snack was more of a meal and, as it basically consisted of some of his favorite foods, he assumed that someone, probably B'Elanna, had helped Neelix get into his replicator files. He wondered why briefly, but then decided to simply enjoy it.

He finished the meal off and went back to the routine maintenance of the EPS couplings. He realized he was only part way through the list of things that were bothering him. He still had the issue of the contraceptive boosters to contend with and that was a real can of worms.

Something had been nagging at the back of his mind this evening as he worked and remembered his academy days. 'Ah that's it,' he thought, 'Fred's prayer.' Fred was his roommate his third year at the academy. Fred was a devote Christian and Chakotay had been uncertain whether he'd be able to cope with this particular roommate as he was at that time a "lapsed shamanist" himself. He actually found Fred one of the easiest people to get along with that he'd ever known. Maybe it was that Chakotay was now a little older or maybe Fred was just a more forgiving person than most of the rest of the cadets, but somehow he never made Chakotay feel ignorant or clumsy the way so many of his other classmates did.

Chakotay recalled that Fred had this short prayer above his desk. It said:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;  Courage to change the things I can;  And the wisdom to know the difference.

One night Fred had told him that the secret was to remember that you could change almost anything about yourself much more easily than you could change even the simplest things about other people. Now how could he apply that to the things that were bothering him? He thought about what he could change and what he couldn't. He couldn't change that Boothby was dead or that the last words he'd spoken to him had been so angry, he'd just have to learn to accept that. He knew he was upset about his sister's letter and there wasn't a lot he could do but wait for his turn to call home, and well, maybe talk to his spirit guide about it and other things.

As he wound his way through his various issues, he found he now had a mental to do list for himself that included: Going on a vision quest; stopping his avoidance of B'Elanna and going to talk to the doctor about neutralizing the effects of the contraceptive boosters. Some how the latter seemed both more urgent and somehow easier to do; maybe that's because right now he figured both his spirit guide and B'Elanna were probably disappointed in or even downright angry with him.

He asked the computer for the time 2324 almost the end of his shift. As soon as it was the end of shift he'd go to Sickbay and talk to the doctor.

May 17, 2378 0005 Turbolift/Sickbay

Chakotay entered the turbolift and requested deck 5. As he exited the turbolift and headed towards Sickbay, Chakotay tried to marshal his thoughts. What could he tell the doctor that would convince him to disregard Star Fleet protocols and how could he do that without telling the doctor his most cherished dreams? Just as he was about to enter Sickbay he decided he probably would have to lay his heart bare to get the doctor's cooperation and then he'd have to depend on the hologram adhering to patient-doctor confidentiality.

"Computer activate Emergency Medical Hologram" Chakotay said almost reluctantly.

As Voyager's EMH appeared in the sickbay he did what he always did. He accessed the computer to determine the date and time, it was May 17, 2378 0005 and he accessed all pertinent records on the crew person in front of him. Which, aside from telling him that Chakotay was an extremely healthy specimen of a 42 and half year old human male, also told him that Chakotay had just come off a double shift, as he had been doing for days to compensate for Joe Carey and B'Elanna Torres' absences in Engineering.

"Good evening, Commander Chakotay, What can I do for you?" The EMH asked.

Now that Chakotay was here he felt slightly embarrassed. Chakotay very quietly said, "Could we go into your office and talk, Doctor?

"Of course, commander," the EMH replied. He was not programmed to be a counselor but even he could see that something was definitely bothering the commander and it didn't seem to be simple exhaustion.

Chakotay took a seat opposite the doctor's desk and tried to figure out where to start. Well maybe he could start with the Gazette article. "The other evening I was doing some recreational reading to try to wind down before going to sleep and I came across an article in the most recently uploaded Star Fleet Gazette that deeply disturbed me."

"And what article was that, Commander?" the EMH politely inquired.

Chakotay suddenly realized that if he simply told the EMH the title he could access the article and Chakotay wouldn't have to try to explain it to him. "Contraception or Involuntary Sterilization: The Case Against Long Term Use of Boosters".

"Excuse me for a moment while I access the article" the EMH said. He did indeed access it and all of the related information he could locate in recent uploads from Star Fleet Medical. What he read was concerning.

"Commander why did the article disturb you?" The EMH asked, even though he had a good idea, he wanted to hear the Commander articulate his reasons.

"Well-" Chakotay began then stopped. "Doctor can I assume that whatever I say to you will be held in strict confidence?"

"Of course Commander, I not only respect your right for privacy but it is a part of my ethical subroutines to observe patient-doctor confidentiality" the doctor replied.

Chakotay knew the doctor had actually breeched that confidentiality once and revealed something rather embarrassing about a senior officer; however Chakotay figured he would have to gamble that the doctor would keep it this time and yet somehow also be able to breech standing protocols.

Chakotay almost leapt out of the chair and began pacing, he couldn't seem to be still while he tried to peel away the layers of protection he'd built around his heart and dreams.

"It disturbs me because I have a dream, it is the most cherished dream I have. I dream that when we return to the alpha quadrant I will be able to marry the woman I love and that she will bear my child. But if these boosters have the effect this article suggest then perhaps the dream is simply a fantasy, something that can never come to be." Chakotay said in a quiet yet very passionate voice.

"Commander- Chakotay, May I ask you if there is a particular woman you have in mind as the mother of your child?" the doctor asked gently.

"Of course, - Doctor are you the only crewman aboard this vessel who doesn't know what woman I'm talking about?" Chakotay asked with a hint of irritation in his voice.

"No, I guess just wanted to be sure I understood you. Chakotay, contraceptive boosters aside I doubt the Captain - Kathryn will be capable of bearing children when we return to the Alpha quadrant unless that happens much sooner than the currently predicted 20 years." The EMH said.

"Not twenty years doctor, ten years, look I can't go into details but Star Fleet has a very workable plan that Kathryn and I have not disclosed to the crew- not even the senior staff, that will bring us home in 10 years. I know Kathryn and I won't be spring chickens in 10 years but we should be young enough to have at least one child, if these damn boosters don't totally steal our fertility" Chakotay explained.

"I see, so what do you want me to do to help you with 'preserving' your dream?" the EMH asked.

"Neutralize my current booster and don't give me any future boosters." Chakotay requested earnestly.

"You realize that goes against standing protocols for crew aboard vessels on deep space deployment?" the doctor asked.

"Yes I know the protocol, - 'all personnel serving aboard vessels on deep space deployment will maintain currency with contraceptive boosters unless granted special dispensation by their captain' and I also know that captains are told not to give such dispensation except to individuals in committed relationships. But doctor, I am in a committed relationship."

"What?" the doctor said somewhat confused.

"I'm committed to Kathryn. I've been faithful to her all these years - well at least when no one was messing with my mind that is" Chakotay amended thinking of his tryst with Riley Fraizer under the influence of her Borg cooperative, "and I intend to go on being faithful to her. So there's no need to worry that I'm going to get some crew woman aboard this ship pregnant, if that's what your worried about. There's only one woman I want. And I know I have to wait until we get back to the Alpha quadrant to claim her as mine but that's OK with me. I'd just like a chance to have with her what other couples have." Chakotay looked at the doctor with a pleading look.

The EMH looked at Chakotay and wondered if that's how he looked at Dr. Adams at Star Fleet Academy so the physician would ignore the fact that he was underage?

"Alright, I understand but I don't think I can neutralize your current booster." The doctor replied.

"Why not?" Chakotay demanded.

"Well, maybe I'm wrong but since you didn't come here with the Captain I assume you haven't told her what you're planning, have you?" the EMH probed.

"No, I can't do that. If she knows I've asked you to neutralize the booster then she will assume that I'm going to start pressuring her about changing our relationship as it is out here in the Delta Quadrant and that will just cause all sorts of problems." Chakotay replied anxiously.

"This question may seem a little nosy, but have the two of you talked about your relationship and how it might change when you get back to the Alpha quadrant?" asked the doctor.

"No, and we both know we can't." Chakotay replied softly.

"And why pray tell can't the two of you discuss this matter like adults?" the doctor asked.

"Because if we ever start to talk about our feelings we'll act on them and then there will be all sorts of repercussions. I'd rather go on just as we are while we're stuck out here in the Delta Quadrant than risk not having her in my life forever." Chakotay admitted.

The EMH sighed. He really wanted to help the commander even though at this moment he thought he was a rather pathetic dope or was that romantic fool. And who was more foolish the lovesick fool or the hologram who had just decided to help him.

"Well, I really do want to help you but without the captain's authorization codes I can't get the replicator to make the reagent I need for neutralizing the boosters." the doctor explained.

Chakotay's face lit up with a smile. "Is that all that's stopping you?" he asked.

"Yes," the EMH replied.

"Then it's not a problem. I know her command codes." Chakotay said almost gleefully.

"You do?" the EMH incredulously.

"Sure, its sort of a game I play with her and Tuvok. They change command and security codes and then I break them." he replied.

"I suppose this is something leftover from your Maquis days?' the doctor inquired somewhat amused.

"No, I started hacking into computers when I was a kid." At the doctor's startled look Chakotay continued. "My father was leader of my tribe and as such had access to the planet's computer system. He let me have access to certain educational information but I hungered for more than he would allow. So I learned how to break into the restricted areas of the computer."

"Maybe that explains how you managed to pass the Star Fleet Academy entrance exam at 15." The doctor mumbled to himself as he called up the appropriate formula for the neutralizing reagent. He then turned his access terminal around towards Chakotay so he could input the captain's command codes.

Moments later the doctor had the Commander up on a biobed checking his vitals and then administering a hypo with the neutralizing reagent in it.

"Commander according to my research a significant number of men who have been long term users of the contraceptive boosters experience side affects from the neutralization of the boosters." The EMH said in a professional tone.

"What kind of side affects?" The commander asked with a tinge of worry in his voice.

"Unfortunately I can't tell you for sure because there was a data loss on the upload. But from the information around the data loss I'd say it wasn't anything to worry about and that whatever symptoms they are they should ease with time." The EMH replied. "If you do notice any unusual side affects please contact me immediately and in the meantime I will make an effort to get that bit of data re-uploaded to us in tomorrow's data stream."

"Thanks, Doc, I think I'm going to sleep a lot better tonight than I did last night." With that comment Chakotay left the EMH and headed off to bed.

The EMH stood in sickbay looking at the doors that had just closed after the ship's first officer and began wondering when the other shoe would drop. That is when the captain would visit him with the same request. And frankly she'd better make the same request or the commander's fondest dream didn't have a snowball's chance in Hell of coming true. The EMH frowned now that he stopped to think about it. He wasn't entirely sure it had a chance anyway. Oh Commander Chakotay was correct that with today's much longer life expectancy and better health care many women did not experience menopause until their late fifties or early sixties and obstetricians no longer discouraged woman in their early fifties from having children as they did a few centuries ago. But Kathryn Janeway wasn't your average woman. She'd battled illnesses and injuries unlike anything the average woman faced in her lifetime and she had lived most of the last seven years under constant stress, add to that nearly 25 years of taking the contraceptive boosters and well the EMH just wasn't sure. Well there wasn't much he could do about the situation until she came to see him.

"Computer deactivate the Emergency Medical Hologram" the doctor said and instantly disappeared.

May 17, 2368 0658

She was so beautiful. The lacy white bra and panties she wore accented her fair skin. His hands itched to touch her and he wanted to kiss ever inch of her ivory flesh. As he moved towards her his eyes sought permission from her and he saw it granted in the shy smile and the manner in which she arched herself to him. He placed his large tan hands upon her shoulders and was mesmerized by the contrast of their skins. After drawing her towards him he took her face in his hands and brought their lips together. They both sighed as at long last they shared the kiss they'd both so longed for. She sought out his mouth eagerly, sliding her tongue along his lips and then, as he parted those lips, darting her tongue in to taste him. He started to shower her face with kisses and then her neck. As he kissed the area of her neck just beneath her ear she shuddered. He decided he'd have to mark that spot now, so he didn't forget and he proceeded to suck on the flesh there until a strawberry colored mark appeared. He began to trail his hands and mouth lower on her body. He wanted to take this first time slowly, to savor every moment of their lovemaking but he could feel his body growing impatient. There was a very primal part of him that wanted nothing of this tenderness, but instead wanted to claim his mate by plunging himself deep within her warmth to pump his seed within her. The male animal and the loving man warred inside him. He slowly removed her bra and panties and allowed his eyes to feast on her nude body. He bent to place a kiss on her more intimate set of lips-.

"The time is 0700" the computer intoned.

Chakotay awoke with a start from the erotic dream and found himself almost painfully aroused. He smiled to himself, 'Wow, that was some dream and -' he looked down at his penis standing proudly at attention and thought 'that's not exactly a run of the mill morning erection either'. "Well," he said aloud "may as well enjoy it." He headed into his bathroom to take his morning shower and see if he couldn't pick that dream up where it had been so rudely interrupted by the computer's wakeup call.

Freshly showered and dressed Chakotay decide to head to the mess hall before his duty shift began. He was surprised to find that he didn't feel the way he normally did after sexual release. Normally he'd be relaxed and content but this morning he felt tense and irritable. So much so that when the turbolift was longer in coming than he thought it should be he hit the wall next to it. When it finally did arrive he growled at the occupants for holding the car up.

His foul mood continued in the mess hall where he snarled at a crewman who accidentally bumped into him. He then demanded more than his usual breakfast from Neelix and strode off to his normal table. He spent a good part of his breakfast ogling female crewmembers. It wasn't until one actually had the temerity to ask him why he was staring at her that he realized what he was doing. He apologized to the crewmember, mumbled something about not really looking at her but being lost in thought and thanked his lucky stars that his dark coloring meant it was a lot harder for most people to recognize when he was embarrassed or at least he hoped so.

Chakotay arrived on the bridge at 0759 and took over from Tuvok who excused himself to check on his department. Harry Kim relieved his gamma shift counterpart right on time but by 0820 Tom Paris still hadn't arrived to relieve Ensign Culhane.

"Computer, what is the location of Lieutenant Paris" Chakotay enquired.

"Lieutenant Paris is in sickbay." The computer responded.

"Chakotay to Paris," the commander barked.

"Paris here, sir," came the meek response.

"Is there a problem Lieutenant?" Chakotay enquired with an edge to his voice.

"No sir, not any longer. I'll be right up," Paris replied.

"See that you are." Chakotay grumbled his reply.

A few minutes later Tom Paris arrived and relieved Culhane.

As Culhane was exiting the bridge, Commander Chakotay called out, "Culhane, thank you for so ably manning the conn for us while Mr. Paris took care of whatever it was that delayed him."

"Yes sir" Culhane said as he entered the turbolift, glad to be escaping whatever was about to take place on the bridge.

Tom Paris felt that he now needed to explain his absence although he would have thought Chakotay could have figured it out for himself.

"I'm sorry I was delayed sir. B'Elanna had another bout of Braxton-Hicks this morning so I took her to sickbay," Paris offered as explanation.

"But it never occurred to you to call the bridge and say you might be delayed?" Chakotay asked testily.

"No sir. I guess I'm not thinking too clearly lately. I'm losing a lot of sleep because of B'Elanna's pregnancy," Tom replied

"You know what, you're a real piece of work, Paris," Chakotay said heatedly. "Other people on this crew are short on sleep too, but they can remember protocol and simple courtesy. You know you should be the most grateful man on this ship. You're married to the woman you love, though Spirits only know what she sees in you, and now you get the joy of watching her grow fat with your baby, and all you can do is complain about losing sleep," Chakotay paused for a moment then continued, "Like I said you're a real piece of work."

"Ensign Kim you have the bridge," the commander said as he strode into the ready room.

Just as Tom was about to make a comment to Harry, the Ops officer said, "Tom I'm reading an ion storm ahead."

"Transfer the reading to the conn," Tom requested. After looking at the readouts he said, "Its not too big I think we can vector around it without losing too much time. Probably preferable to trying to go through it."

"Should we call the commander out to make that decision?" Harry asked.

"I don't know about you but I'd rather let him brood in the ready room," Tom replied.

"Yeah me too. No sense aggravating him anymore than he already is. He seems worse today than yesterday. I mean yesterday he was depressed now he seems really irritable," Harry observed.

"Yeah, its like the Jaguar's got a thorn in his paw." Tom said and shared a grin with his buddy Harry

Chakotay sat on the ready room couch sipping an herbal tea that was supposed to be calming. He was displeased with himself. He'd made a real ass of himself today out there on the bridge. His only consolation was that only Tom and Harry witnessed the worst of it and they could be counted on to forgive him. Once he recovered his emotional balance enough to apologize, that is.


	4. Chapter 4

May 17, 2378 0825 Sickbay

The other shoe was about to drop. The emergency medical hologram found himself being reactivated just moments after he'd deactivated himself after taking care of B'Elanna Torres' most recent bout of false labor pains. Kathryn Janeway, fresh off of another double shift on the bridge and then Engineering, said she wanted to speak to him about a personal matter.

"Why don't we go to my office Captain?" the EMH asked politely.

"Yes, of course Doctor, that would be a more appropriate place to discuss a private matter," she responded.

Kathryn Janeway was more nervous about this upcoming conversation than she had realized she would be. She took a seat opposite the doctor's desk and tried to figure out where to start. Well maybe she could start with the Gazette article.

"The other day I was doing some recreational reading to try to relax before going to sleep, and I came across an article in the most recently uploaded Star Fleet Gazette that troubled me," she said.

"And what article was that, Captain?" the EMH politely inquired even though he felt sure he knew which article it was.

Kathryn realized that telling the EMH the title would simplify matters greatly, as he could then access the article and she wouldn't have to explain it to him. "Contraception or Involuntary Sterilization: The Case Against Long Term Use of Boosters," she told him.

"I'm familiar with the article," the EMH said. "Captain why did the article trouble you?" the EMH asked, even though he knew exactly why she was troubled, as he'd had this same conversation just eight hours a go with Commander Chakotay, he just wanted her to articulate her own reasons.

"Well-" Kathryn began, then stopped. "Doctor can I assume that whatever I say to you will remain between the two of us?" she asked nervously.

"Of course Captain, respecting your right for privacy is a part of my ethical subroutines, you know, I will respect patient-doctor confidentiality," the doctor replied, trying to act slightly affronted.

Kathryn knew better than anyone that the doctor had actually breeched that confidentiality once and revealed something rather embarrassing about Tuvok; however Kathryn felt sure that the doctor had learned his lesson after that incident and besides she didn't have much choice but to trust that the doctor would use discretion this time. What was really bothering her was that on the one hand she needed to trust him to keep her secret and on the other she had to convince him to, if not out right break, then at least bend standing protocols, she wondered if his program would accommodate the situation.

Kathryn fidgeted and finally she abandoned the chair , resorting to pacing; she couldn't seem to be still while she tried to breech the self-imposed walls she'd built around her heart and its contents. Finally she faced the doctors and began an attempt to explain her troubled state of mind.

"The article troubles me because I have a hope, a dream," she turned and clutched the top of the chair and looked at the doctor with earnest eyes shining, "it is the most precious possession I have. I hope that when we return to the alpha quadrant I will be able to marry the man I love and have a child with him. But if these boosters have the effect this article suggest then perhaps that desire is simply a pipe dream, something that can never happen," Kathryn said as her eyes became bright with unshed tears.

"Captain- Kathryn, May I ask you if there is a particular man you have in mind as the father of your child?" the doctor asked gently.

"Certainly, - Doctor are you trying to say you are the only person on Voyager who doesn't know who I'm in love with?" Kathryn asked a bit amused.

"No, I guess I just wanted to be sure I understood you. Captain, contraceptive boosters aside I doubt you will be capable of bearing Commander Chakotay's child, unless you do so before we return to the Alpha quadrant." the EMH repeated what he'd told Chakotay as he couldn't give away the fact that he knew about Star Fleet's plan without exposing the fact that he'd already had this discussion with the commander.

"Look Doctor I know you and the rest of the crew think it's going to take us another twenty years to reach the Alpha quadrant, but it isn't. I can't elaborate but Star Fleet has a very feasible plan that I have not revealed to the crew, not even the senior staff, which will bring us home in 10 years. I know I won't be a debutante in 10 years, but I should be young enough to have at least one child, if these damn boosters don't totally rob me of my fertility," Kathryn explained.

"I see, so what do you want me to do to help you protect your dream?" the EMH asked as though he didn't know.

"Neutralize my current booster and don't give me any future boosters," Kathryn requested.

"You realize that goes against standing protocols for crew aboard vessels on deep space deployment?" the doctor asked Kathryn, just as he had Commander Chakotay.

"Yes I know the protocol, 'all personnel serving aboard vessels on deep space deployment will maintain currency with contraceptive boosters unless granted special dispensation by their captain' and I also know that as captain I'm not suppose to give such dispensation except to individuals in committed relationships," she quoted.

Kathryn looked down at her hands nervously. Then looked the doctor full in the face and continued more determinedly. "I realize it may seem like I'm taking advantage of my position to ask you to do this, but please understand, I know I'm not married or even engaged, but in my heart I am," she said gently, but with great conviction.

"Oh?" the doctor said by way of enticing the captain to elaborate.

"Maybe this sounds silly, but I feel as though I'm engaged to Chakotay. I've been true to him all these years - well at least when no one was manipulating my mind that is," Kathryn amended, thinking of her recent relationship with Jaffen on Quarra, "and I intend to go on being true to him. There's only one man I want. I know I have to wait until we get back to the Alpha quadrant to be with him and as hard as that is, I've accepted it. I'd just like a chance to have what other women have, a chance to have a child with the man I love," Kathryn looked at the doctor with pleading eyes.

"Before I agree to your request, I must have the answers to two questions," the doctor stated, already deciding he was going to act like a kindly family doctor and meddle a little.

"What questions?" Kathryn asked anxiously.

"The first question is for you Kathryn, the woman. Have you discussed your heart's desire with Chakotay?" the doctor gently but firmly asked.

"Oh no, no I can't do that!" she exclaimed.

"For heaven's sake, why not?" the doctor asked exasperated.

"You can't understand how complicated my relationship with Chakotay is, doctor. He is my first officer and my friend and confidant, but there is more and if we ever openly admit to it, well, then it will overwhelm us. No, we have a very delicate balance and each of us knows the boundaries very well," she replied.

"Even the biggest and best of fires will eventually burn itself out if there is no one to tend it. How can you be so sure his love for you or yours for him will be able to last so long without something more to fuel it than unspoken promises?" the doctor asked as tenderly as he could.

"Sometimes a glance or a gesture can speak much louder than words, doctor," Kathryn explained.

"I hope your right, captain. I hope your right," the EMH sighed, "Alright then, my second question is for the captain. Is it fair for you to have this privilege to disregard Star Fleet protocols when the average crewman cannot, but must come to you and I to beg for the same opportunity?" he asked.

"No, no its not." Kathryn considered options for a moment. "Doctor, I want you to make the information about the long-term effects of the boosters known to the crew and tell them I've given blanket approval to any and all crewmembers who, after consultation with you of course, wish to neutralize the boosters and refrain from taking any future boosters, to do so." the captain ordered. "Oh, doctor?" she added.

"Yes, Captain?" The EMH responded wondering what else the captain wanted.

"Two more things; one, we can't exactly afford a baby boom around here so could you also provide information about other contraception methods than the boosters to the crew?" she asked.

"Of course captain," the EMH said with a smile. Now there would be some interesting research he thought.

"And second, will there be any side effects from neutralizing the boosters?" she asked a bit nervously.

"I can't answer that as adequately as I'd like as there was data loss in the upload of some Star Fleet Medical updates concerning this issue. It seems there are some side affects for men but I don't know what they are but it seems whatever they are the effects aren't too worrying and seem to be temporary. I didn't see anything about the effects on women." The doctor replied as he began a quick physical on the captain focusing on her reproductive health.

A few minutes and a hypospray later, the captain was on her way to her cabin for some rest and the doctor was on his way back to his office to compose a memo to the crew and to look over the results of the scans he had made on the captain.

To: All personnel

From: Chief Medical Officer

Time: 1015

Some of you may have become aware of the Star Fleet Gazette article "Contraception or Involuntary Sterilization: The Case Against Long Term Use of Boosters" (see attachment 1). The concerns raised in the article are valid, therefore the captain has decided to allow all crewmembers the freedom to discontinue the use of the contraceptive boosters and/or have your current booster neutralized, if after discussion with their physician (i.e. your kindly EMH), it is deemed appropriate to do so. I will advise you now in a broad sense that if you began taking the boosters at a young age and/or have been taking the boosters for more than fifteen years you should schedule an appointment to discuss the matter with me.

As Voyager is not equipped to suddenly take care of a large number of infants, please see the attached information on alternate forms of contraception (see attachment 2) should you decide to both have your contraceptive boosters neutralized and to engage in sexual intercourse.

When information becomes available I will send out another memo regarding possible side affects of neutralizing the boosters.

After the doctor completed the memo he began analyzing the scans he'd made of Kathryn. He looked up her genotype and as much gynecological and obstetric data as was available to him and began the task of trying to determine what her reproductive span should be, baring interference from the boosters and other factors. The information he was receiving was not encouraging. The information from Kathryn's genotype was interesting, apparently women with this particular genotype could be quite fertile but it seemed that the fertility was sort of a use it or lose it proposition. If women of this genotype attempted to become pregnant in the first half of their reproductive period then they tended to have relative ease in becoming pregnant and having healthy babies throughout their reproductive span. But a delay of the first pregnancy into the second half of the reproductive span increased the difficulty they had becoming pregnant and increased the risk of miscarriage. When he added in all the additional stress factors present in Kathryn's case, he found the conclusions grim. If the discontinuation of the boosters did result in a return to her normal levels of fertility and there was no guarantee of that, but if it did, he projected that her fertility level would drop to the point where natural conception would be virtually impossible in five years and even artificial methods would be ineffective in seven years. So much for the dreams of Chakotay and Kathryn to have a child, unless - the doctor had an idea but he was hesitant to try it without a second opinion. Well actually two second opinions, he need to talk to another physician and a counselor to be sure his idea was a sound one and he needed to do that soon and with utmost confidentiality.

"EMH to Tuvok," the Doctor intoned.

"Tuvok here. What can I do for you Doctor?" the security chief responded.

"If you could spare a moment, I need to discuss a matter with you," he requested.

"Of course, I will join you in sickbay momentarily," the Vulcan replied.

A few minutes later the doors to sickbay opened and Commander Tuvok entered. Stopping directly in front of the EMH he asked, "what can I do for you today, Doctor?"

"Please, let's discuss this in the privacy of my office," the doctor said as he indicated to the Vulcan to accompany him.

"As you wish," Tuvok responded.

"Commander, I find myself in need of a second opinion," the doctor started.

Mistakenly believing the doctor wanted his opinion, Tuvok said, "On what subject do you desire my opinion, doctor?"

"Oh no Tuvok, I don't want your opinion, although I suppose you might have a valid one-" The doctor toyed with the idea of confiding in Tuvok who was after all one of the captain's oldest friends. No, he needed professional opinions before he jumped into the deep end by meddling in his commanding officers private lives.

"If it is not my opinion you desire, I fail to see why you need to consult with me," the Commander said with that slight note of Vulcan exasperation in his voice.

"Well, I'd like to consult with Counselor Deanna Troi about an issue regarding members of the crew via the communications uplink but such a consultation would be need to be confidential," the EMH replied.

"Ah," Tuvok said, "hence your desire to speak to me about the security of such a communication."

"Exactly," responded the doctor.

"I can assure you confidentiality can be accomplished on the uplink. You may even ask Seven of Nine to leave Astrometrics so you may make the "call' alone," Tuvok assured the doctor.

"However, I do have one question," Tuvok added.

"Yes?" the doctor asked.

"Would it not be less complicated and more timely to simply ask Commander Chakotay to assist you with this issue?" Tuvok inquired.

"No, no that would be totally inappropriate given the circumstances," the doctor replied emphatically.

"I see," Tuvok replied. In truth, he did not see why the Commander could not handle the situation, unless he was a part of the situation. Given what he had witnessed of and heard about the commander's behavior of late perhaps that was the case. Tuvok filed that thought away for later contemplation.

"I will see that the necessary arrangements are made. Doctor, you will not have long to make this consultation, two minutes at the most," Tuvok informed the EMH.

"Then I shall have to choose my words carefully to be sure they are precise and succinct," the doctor replied.

"Indeed" said Tuvok as he turned to leave sickbay.

As the doctor returned to his office to think of exactly what he should tell Deanna Troi in the brief time he'd be allowed, he noticed his terminal blinking, indicating he had a message. No doubt someone was already requesting an appointment with him.

To: CMO

From Cdr. Chakotay

Time 1115

I'm betting the list of side affects includes increase in libido and irritability. Possibly embarrassing, definitely annoying but thus far not life threatening.

The EMH chuckled he should have suspected as much. The earliest investigations into male contraceptives had shown that administering exogenous androgens to men caused suppression of spermatogenesis, in many cases leading to complete azoospermia but the side effects of increased libido, aggression, even manic behavior eventually led to that line of research being abandoned. Apparently in the newer contraceptives the attempt to avoid increases in the libido and aggressive behavior had brought on just the opposite and as a man went off the therapy his own natural proclivities rebounded enthusiastically. In other words the male members of Voyager who elected to go off the boosters were about to go through a hopefully short period of acting like a bunch of horny Neanderthals. He'd be sure to get the complete list of side effects when he spoke to Star Fleet Medical later today.

* * *

May 17, 2378 1230 Mess Hall

Tom carried a tray with his and B'Elanna's lunch on it over to the table Harry had acquired for the trio.

"So," B'Elanna began, "not that I mind meeting my husband and his best friend for lunch, but what's this all about?

"Same thing as the last mess hall meeting, B'Elanna, that moody adopted brother of yours, Chakotay," Tom replied.

"What'd he do this time?" she asked.

Harry decided to fill her in on things, as it didn't seem fair to make Tom do it. "He jumped all over Tom this morning for being late." Harry explained.

"But that was my fault," she said.

"Yeah, well Chakotay really didn't want to hear that excuse, he said, and I quote, 'you know what, you're a real piece of work, Paris - You should be the most grateful man on this ship. You're married to the woman you love, though Spirits only know what she sees in you, and now you get the joy of watching her grow fat with your baby and all you can do is complain about losing sleep'," Tom dug into his lunch as he watched B'Elanna fume.

"He said I was fat?" B'Elanna asked sounding upset.

Harry quickly interjected, "Uh, he didn't mean it that way B'Elanna, its just sort of a thing a guy from his culture would say, you know? It's not disrespectful at all," he asserted.

"You're sure?" she asked.

"Uh huh," Harry answered and nodded. "Yeah, I mean, I think what he was saying is how lucky Tom is to be married to you and to have you having his baby," he explained.

"Yeah," Tom said suddenly animated, "that's it. Why didn't I put two and two together?" he asked himself and his companions.

"What's that?" B'Elanna asked a bit mystified.

"Boy, this lack of sleep must be slowing all our minds down. Think about it, first we get Chakotay being all sad and then grumpy like he's got a thorn in his paw, then we learn that the long term use of contraceptive boosters may be wiping out a person's fertility," Tom said and sat back waiting for his lunch companions to catch up with him. When his wife and best friend didn't immediately jump in with responses, he continued.

"Don't you see Chakotay's jealous of me because I have what he doesn't. He wants to marry Janeway and watch her 'grow fat' with his baby," Tom concluded almost triumphantly.

"Oh man, if that's what's making him so irritable we don't have a chance of cheering him up," B'Elanna said dejectedly.

"Why do you say that?" Harry asked.

"Because Janeway won't marry him while we are out here and we're twenty years from the Alpha quadrant," B'Elanna responded.

"What's a matter Maquis, not up to a little challenge. I mean all we've got to do is either change Janeway's mind or get home to the Alpha quadrant faster," Harry said flippantly.

"You know I was thinking about that the other day, I mean about a way to get to the alpha quadrant faster. If we could just come up with a way to cruise at a slightly higher speed we could cut a lot of years off the journey," Tom said in all seriousness.

"Yeah, if we could just cruise at warp 7 we could shave 6 years off the trip or at warp 8 we could be there in about 11 and a half years," said Harry.

"And if we didn't constantly have to stop to trade or mine for dilithium and vorilium we could cut even more time off our trip," added Tom, getting in the spirit of the whole how to get home faster theme.

B'Elanna shifted uncomfortably in her chair and Tom pounced on her discomfort. "Out with it B'Elanna, what do you know?" Tom demanded.

"Its just a rumor Tom," she answered defensively. As Harry and Tom's eyes bored into her, B'Elanna gave in. "OK, OK an engineer I knew in the Academy sent me a note in a download a while back about a project he'd been on to adapt an Intrepid class ship for cruising at higher warps and to have the ability to cloak. He also said another crew was fitting a deep space probe with caches of refined dilithium and vorilium." she said.

"Yes!" proclaimed Harry Kim as he hammered his fist on the table.

"Easy Star Fleet, this is supposed to be a secret," B'Elanna said as she grinned affectionately at her friend.

"Do you think that Star Fleet has told the captain about this yet?" asked Harry.

"I don't know, if they have she obviously hasn't decided to share the information with the crew, not even the senior staff," said Tom.

"Why would she withhold such information?" B'Elanna pondered.

"Think how disappointed the crew would feel if something happened to the probes," Harry answered.

"Yeah, you've got a point there, Harry," Tom said then pushed himself back a bit from the table. "Look, let's just deal with the small things that we can maybe help. B'Elanna invite Chakotay to have dinner with you this evening," Tom ordered.

Before she could do more than take a breath to protest, Tom added, "Tell him you let me go play with Harry one last time before the baby's born, but you want company for the evening. Cook his favorite meal and then talk about what's been bugging him. See how much you can get him to open up," he suggested.

"OK," B'Elanna grumbled.

"Harry, you and I can work on a great holoprogram for Chakotay's party. OK?" Tom said seeking his friend's cooperation.

"Yeah OK, I guess. Just let's not put anything in it that will get us in trouble OK?" pleaded Harry.

"Well it won't be as much fun, but if your afraid-" Tom began in a teasing manner.

"Damn straight I'm afraid, between the redheaded captain, a very pregnant Klingon and the Jaguar with the sore paw, I don't which way to flinch," Harry responded with a grin.

"You know Harry, you may have a point there," Tom conceded. "Now as most senior officer present, currently on active duty," he amended after seeing B'Elanna's glare, "I say let's get back to our posts."

The threesome stood and after taking their trays back to be recycled and Tom's giving B'Elanna a kiss, Voyager's Chief of operations and head helmsman headed back to the bridge.

* * *

May 17, 2378 2000 Torres-Paris Quarters

Chakotay had turned over the last half of his shift in engineering this evening to Vorik so he could accept B'Elanna's invitation to dinner. As he walked down the corridor toward Tom and B'Elanna's quarters, nervously clutching a bouquet of flowers he was bringing to B'Elanna, he wondered how the evening would progress. He hoped she was in a more human mood tonight than a Klingon one or he might get the flowers back in his face. He waited hesitantly outside the door working up the courage to activate the door chime. 'Well,' he thought, 'might as well get this over', and with that thought he activated the chime.

"Come in Chakotay," B'Elanna called out.

He entered to see a radiant B'Elanna setting the table for two.

"Uh, I brought these for you," Chakotay said as he offered her the flowers like a teenager on a first date.

B'Elanna took the flowers from him and laughed at his nervousness. "Its OK, I'm not going to shove them down your throat, actually as you can see," she said and pointed to the table, "I was hoping you'd bring the flowers."

For the first time Chakotay actually looked at the table. There were two place settings of Fiestaware, one in terra cotta and the other in turquoise, a small bowl of salsa next to a big bowl of tortilla chips and a pitcher of ice tea with pieces of lime floating in it. He finally saw what she meant, as B'Elanna put the flowers in a vase that was already out on the table with water in it, but no flowers. Chakotay nervously looked around for something to do.

"Can I help you with anything?" Chakotay inquired.

"Sure, make yourself useful. Come take a couple of these dishes out of the replicator and over to the table," B'Elanna answered as she walked over to the replicator.

As Chakotay joined her he noticed that the meal was indeed to be a Mexican one, as he'd guessed from the presence of the chips and salsa. One of the dishes contained refried beans and the other held Spanish rice. He couldn't tell what the main course was as the dish was covered, so he decided to ask, "So, what's the entrée?

"Chile rellenos, my grandmother's recipe," she answered and smiled at him. She knew he loved the foods she cooked that she claimed were from her grandmother Torres' recipes. Truth was she didn't get to spend time with her father's mother at an age when she was interested in learning to cook but she did remember what her grandmother's best dishes tasted like and over the years had learned to replicate close approximations of the real things. Of course Chakotay hadn't tasted many of them because she never fed him meat in deference to his choice to be a vegetarian.

"Sounds good to me," he said and as she took the cover to the dish off and the aroma hit him, he added, "and smells good too."

Chakotay helped B'Elanna get comfortably seated at the table, not any easy thing for the very pregnant woman to do. Then seated himself and started the process of pouring drinks and dishing up food. The two old friends fell back into their comfortable pattern of small talk as they ate the delicious stuffed chilies, only occasionally finding topics that made them uncomfortable. Finally B'Elanna told Chakotay to go to the replicator and request two servings of Torres-D1.

A pleasantly surprised Chakotay returned with a plate of Sopapillas and a container of honey, B'Elanna took the plate from him and said, "OK Chakotay, before you get a single one of these sweet treats I know you love, you have to answer a simple question."

'Uh oh,' Chakotay thought to himself, 'I knew this evening was going too well.' Out loud he said as innocently as he could, "What question would that be?"

"Why have you been avoiding me lately?" she asked

"I haven't been," he started.

"Don't give me that Bullshit! You have too been avoiding me. Now what gives?" B'Elanna demanded.

Chakotay stood there lost in thought for a moment. He wasn't sure he knew why he'd been avoiding her, but he did know a convenient way to prevaricate, "Well," he began slowly as he paced out of her immediate vicinity. "I guess I've been angry with you," he said.

"Angry with me, why?" she turned towards him awkwardly and asked puzzled.

"Because you choose the doctor as godfather for your baby instead of me." he answered trying to sound upset.

"Try again, pendejo," B'Elanna said hotly "and this time try the truth."

"What do you mean by that," Chakotay said, surprised that she'd seen through him so fast and also a bit shocked that she was swearing at him in Spanish instead of Klingon.

"Well first, that was months ago and you didn't start avoiding me until a couple of weeks ago and second, you had to know I wasn't going to choose you as my daughter's godfather when you are already her uncle," B'Elanna said.

"I'm not your baby's uncle," Chakotay said quickly and almost angrily B'Elanna thought.

"Oh so Neelix, is right, that is your problem," B'Elanna said.

"What's Neelix got to do with this?" Chakotay said in irritation.

"Chakotay, look could you sit down? This position is uncomfortable for me." B'Elanna requested in a gentle voice.

"Oh, of course, I'm sorry B'Elanna," Chakotay sat back down across from her. "Is this better?" he asked.

"Yes," she replied.

"So what does Neelix have to do with this?" he asked again.

B'Elanna toyed with one of the sopapillas, drizzling honey on the pillow-like treat while she consider how much to tell him. Well, in for a penny in for a pound she thought. As she vaguely realized she hadn't a clue what that old phrase actually referred to, she began her explanation. "A few of us were sitting around the mess hall the other day trying to figure out what had you so down in the mouth," B'Elanna glanced up from her treat just long enough to see that that revelation had truly shaken Chakotay. "And Neelix said -"

"Wait," Chakotay interrupted, "let me get this straight. You and some of the crew were sitting around the mess hall discussing my mood?"

"Yes, Chakotay, people do that when someone they care about seems to be upset, they get together and try to determine what might be wrong and they try to figure out how to help," B'Elanna said tenderly, yet with a note of consternation. "Now shut up so I can finish explaining what Neelix said."

Chakotay blinked but he didn't dare say anything.

"Neelix suggested that since receiving your sister's letter you were feeling guilty about your relationship with me, because for years now you've treated me like I was your little sister." B'Elanna wondered if she looked as surprised as Chakotay did. It seemed to her that Chakotay hadn't realized what the problem was until just now. Both B'Elanna and Chakotay were so preoccupied with their conversation that they didn't notice the sound of the door as Tom came in and he decided not to interrupt what looked like an important moment.

"That's it, that's what I've been feeling, but I hadn't been able to put my finger on it exactly. I think maybe I was afraid to, afraid that if I realized what it was that was bothering me, it would mean giving up our relationship or redefining it," Chakotay paused for a moment, then continued sadly, "And I guess it does."

B'Elanna almost couldn't believe what she was seeing, the man she thought of as her big brother looked like he was about to cry at the thought of losing her.

"You know Chakotay, I can't let you break my wife's heart by being so stupid as to try to redefine your relationship at this late date." Tom said.

Tom's words startled both Chakotay and B'Elanna, and as Chakotay started to speak Tom raised his hand and continued, "No, let me say my peace Chakotay, then you can say or do whatever you want."

Tom moved closer to the table where B'Elanna and Chakotay were sitting. "Look its wonderful that the sister born to you from your parent's love has somehow found her way back into your life, but her reappearance doesn't mean you have to abandon the sister born to your heart. Some of us are lucky enough to have more than one sister, I am. And you can be, if you choose to be. Chakotay there isn't suppose to be a limit on how many people you can love," with those words Tom stepped close enough to B'Elanna to put an arm around her and waited to see what the older man would do.

Chakotay got up from the table and walked towards Tom. A small part of Tom was nervous, Chakotay was a big man and very handy with his fists. "Once a long time ago my best friend became my brother-in-law, tonight I think my brother-in-law may have become my best friend." Chakotay said in a voice thick with emotion.

He reached out to shake Tom's hand but was pulled into a bear hug by the younger man instead, suddenly Chakotay found himself enveloped by the arms of Voyager's best pilot and her Chief Engineer, but to him he was in the arms of his family and boy did it feel good. After a few moments Tom cleared his throat, pulled away from Chakotay and B'Elanna and said, "OK, now that the group hug is over, are there any Sopapillas left?"

"Yes," replied Chakotay "but that's only because B'Elanna wouldn't let me have my share until we had our little discussion. So what's left is all mine, go replicate yourself your own."

Chakotay playfully gave Tom a shove towards the replicator. He grinned at Tom Paris. Tom could never replace his late brother-in-law Pacal, just as B'Elanna couldn't replace Maliya, but both of them could have special places in his heart. Chakotay promised himself to spend more time with the sister and brother-in-law he had right here with him now and one day he'd get to spend time with Maliya again.

"Tom," said B'Elanna, "not that I mind of course, but what are you doing home so early? I thought you and Harry were going to be playing captain Proton in the Holodeck tonight."

"Well, that was the plan," Tom said, and then thought what he should say and decided that staying as close to the truth as possible was the best policy, "but then we heard that the Captain's birthday party was moved up a day. I guess to be better able to surprise her?" As he said this Tom looked at Chakotay as if to ask if he knew why the date was changed but Chakotay just shrugged his shoulders. "Anyway Harry wanted to work on the holodeck program for the party. So we did, but I was getting to where I couldn't stand working on it anymore, so I thought I'd come home early and aren't you two glad I did," Tom replied as he returned with another plate of sopapillas.

"I don't know if B'Elanna is but I am. Thanks for helping me see what an idiot I was being avoiding B'Elanna because of Maliya," Chakotay said.

"Definitely an idiot and you got to pay for it with lots of double shifts. If you hadn't been avoiding me you could have come to me and I would have fixed the engineering shifts in a nanosecond," B'Elanna told Chakotay in an impish voice.

"Yeah well, while we're on the subject of what an idiot I can be-" Chakotay began and turned towards Tom. "Can you forgive me for my behavior on the bridge this morning?" he asked.

Tom thought about it for a second, how could he use this request for an apology to its best advantage. "Yes, on one condition," he replied.

"What condition?" Chakotay replied warily.

"That you explain yourself a bit. Why'd you say what you did? Are you jealous of me or something?" Tom prodded a bit.

"Hell yes, I'm jealous of you!" Chakotay bellowed, as he stood to pace the room. "You, you get to marry the woman you're in love with and have a baby with her but not me. Oh no, I can't even tell the woman I love how I feel about her, let alone dream of being with her, dream of her having my child." Chakotay ran his fingers through his hair and turned his face away from Tom and B'Elanna, not wanting them to witness his turmoil.

"I don't know how you can go on loving that, that - icy bitch," B'Elanna spluttered.

Chakotay swung around towards B'Elanna and for a moment Tom was afraid for her. "Don't you ever call her that again or say anything like that about her," he said sharply. "You don't understand her," Chakotay continued more calmly, "and what's worse you don't even try," he added forlornly.

Chakotay felt compelled to try and make her understand the situation. "You said a while ago that some of you were gathered in the mess hall to talk about why I was down because you cared about me. That shows me that I have friends on this ship. I even have family." Chakotay gestured to Tom and B'Elanna.

"Whom does Kathryn have?" he asked, and looked intently at Tom and B'Elanna causing them to look away from his intense visage.

"Oh sure," he continued after he was sure they weren't going to respond to his question, "if the crew sensed she was down they might gather in the mess hall to talk about it. But they'd be talking about the Captain, not Kathryn. None of you know Kathryn, so don't judge her and don't ask how I can still be in love with her. I'll go to my grave in love with that woman," he declared.

Chakotay finally had run out of steam, he sank down on the couch. He was emotionally exhausted; the last few days had been incredibly trying especially when you added in what the side effects of neutralizing the boosters was doing to him.

"I'm sorry Chakotay, I shouldn't have said what I did," B'Elanna said as she came over and stood near him. "But you know Chakotay it's hard to see you get hurt over and over again because of her. And well, I'd like to get to know her, but how can I when she won't let people in?" she asked apologetically.

Chakotay reached up, and drew the sister his heart had adopted down next to him, "I know B'Elanna, you just have to be vigilant and when you sense a breech in her defenses you have to move in and be prepared to go over, under or around whatever new wall she puts up. Oh and you can't always play fair," he added.

"Oh and how is it that you don't always play fair?" B'Elanna asked, amused to hear Chakotay say something like that.

"Well, primarily two things. One, I see how often I can get away with calling her Kathryn while we're on duty and two, I grin at her a lot," Chakotay replied.

"You grin at her?" B'Elanna asked incredulously.

"Yeah," Chakotay looked down at his feet and B'Elanna wasn't sure in the dim lighting of her living area, but she thought he might just be blushing, "She can't resist dimples," Chakotay answered.

Tom and B'Elanna both laughed long and hard about that.

The three of them sat in the living room talking and laughing some more and making plans for "Kathryn's party". Suddenly Chakotay realized that B'Elanna was getting so very tired she was about to fall asleep against him.

"Well Tom, I think I'd better let you tuck my little sister in bed, she seems to be very sleepy," he said.

B'Elanna lifted her head and said, "Am not," then yawned. The two men laughed at her.

Chakotay got up from the couch, then knelt down and kissed B'Elanna's tummy, which made her giggle. Then he laid his head down on her belly and proceeded to have a short conversation with the unborn child. "Good night little one, I'm sorry I ever denied you were my niece. Guess you'll just have to bear in mind that your Uncle Chakotay's not always the sharpest crayon in the box," he said.

With that Tom escorted Chakotay to the door and said goodnight.

"Well, was that a successful mission or what?" B'Elanna asked.

"Well he sure seemed to be in better shape going out of here than he was earlier today," agreed Tom. "Now lets just hope there are no more major upsets for a while and that the party comes off the way we planned. Come on sleepyhead, let's get you to bed," he said as he supported his exhausted wife back to their bed.


	5. Chapter 5

May 18, 2378 0730 Mess Hall

Chakotay headed to the mess hall before alpha shift. Almost as soon as he entered the room he spotted Joe Carey. After getting his favorite breakfast from Neelix, he headed over to the table Joe was sitting at.

"Good Morning, Joe. How are you feeling?" Chakotay asked.

"What's that old expression? Great to be alive or is that grateful?" Joe answered with a smile.

"Well either way it's good to have you back," Chakotay replied.

"Yeah, from what I hear about your pulling double shifts I bet you are," Joe teased a little. "So since when can't you do a little better scheduling duty shifts than that?

"Ask B'Elanna about it OK, Joe? I'd prefer not to think about it anymore, let alone explain it," Chakotay answered regretfully.

"OK boss, I think I know when to leave well enough alone," Joe replied and returned to eating his breakfast.

"You know what the only good thing was about being made to take so much time off?" Joe asked a few moments later.

"No what?" Chakotay asked grateful that Joe had let him off the hook on the scheduling business but also glad to keep talking to the engineer.

"I finally finished the model of Voyager I was working on," Joe said with a beaming smile.

"The one in the bottle?" Chakotay asked.

Joe had just stuck a huge mouthful of pancakes in his mouth so he simply nodded.

"Hey how'd you rate?" Joe said, suddenly noticing that not only was he enjoying one of his favorite breakfasts, but so was Chakotay.

"What do you mean?" Chakotay asked a bit confused.

"I know why I got my favorite breakfast, sort of a welcome back to the land of the living, but how come you got your favorite breakfast?" Joe asked.

"Oh, Neelix is in on the conspiracy to cheer me up."

"You need cheering up?"

"Well I did, but I'm getting better. I mean there are still a few things bugging me but I … really I'm fine." Chakotay replied, a bit awkwardly.

"If you say so. Well, I'm gonna shove off." Joe said as he stood up from the table and grabbed his tray. "Don't want to be late first day back to work, especially when I'm taking the chief's place. "Take care of yourself. And Chakotay –" Joe leaned back in towards the first officer, "in case you're wrong about being OK, I'd be glad to lend you an ear anytime you need one."

"Thanks, Joe." Chakotay said, and as he looked up into the engineer's eyes, he realized the other man meant what he said. Yet again reminding him that the crewmembers of this ship weren't just subordinates he was responsible for, but friends who cared about him. That knowledge didn't cure all that ailed him, but it certainly was balm on a wounded soul.

* * *

May 18, 2378 Alpha Shift with the EMH

For both Chakotay and Joe Carey Alpha shift was smooth and uneventful, but for The Doctorit was a bit more trying. He started it off by sending B'Elanna home after yet another bout of Braxton-Hicks. He didn't want to worry her or Tom, but he felt that one more of these episodes and she'd go into premature labor. It seemed that his goddaughter was impatient to join the crew of Voyager.

Thinking about the birth of a baby made him think of what he needed to do today. He needed to gather all the information he wanted to share with Deanna Troi during the two minutes of time he would be permitted in today's communication window, which would happen at 1347 today. He had decided that he would write a memo to be uploaded to Deanna with the details of his concerns about Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay's "situation" and he would append both of their medical charts. He hoped he would be able to convey to Deanna in the two minutes he had how important and how delicate this situation was and that she in turn could get someone at Star Fleet Medical to give a second medical opinion, and finally that Deanna and whoever she had consulted with would agree with him as to the next appropriate action. He knew that if he wasn't completely successful in convincing her during his two-minute talk that he'd have to hope his memo was more eloquent. He bent to the task of writing the memo as diligently as he would to conducting research to cure someone of a disease. Then again, given the peculiar way the captain and commander behaved perhaps one could say they were sick, lovesick the EMH thought to himself drolly.

* * *

The EMH waited anxiously in Astrometrics for the communications window to open. He had spoken to Seven of Nine, and while she didn't fully understand why she should wait outside Astrometrics during his communications with Deanna Troi, she was willing to "comply".

As soon as the view screen cleared The Doctor began speaking, "Ah, Deanna its good to see you again."

"Yes, Doctor its good to see you too. What…" Deanna started to say.

"Look, I could only get 2 minutes of time today so I must keep this brief. I'm uploading a memo with some attached medical records. Its important that you get a second medical opinion on the recommendation in that memo and I need your psychological and ethical opinion on the situation."

"Can you at least give me some idea of what's in your memo?" Deanna asked a bit frustrated that the EMH hadn't given her any details yet.

"Yes, of course." He answered realizing how little he'd given her to go on. "Are you aware of the recent controversy over long term use of contraceptive boosters?" he asked her.

"Yes, I've been kept fairly busy counseling patients because of it," she replied.

"Well Voyager's captain and first officer came to me separately to ask me to neutralize their boosters," he began to explain.

"Ah, I see the problem, you're wondering whether you should ignore the standing protocols against …" Deanna began.

"No, I've already neutralized their boosters," the EMH said interrupting Deanna.

"Would explaining why you violated the protocols help explain the second opinion you want and what ethical problem you're having now?" Deanna asked with a hint of rebuke in her voice.

"Yes, I think so. As I said Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay came to me separately but each said nearly the same thing. They are deeply in love with each other, which came as no surprise to me nor would it to anyone else on this ship for that matter, but they refuse to become intimately involved as long as this ship is in the Delta Quadrant. However, each of them cherishes the same dream, that once they return to the Alpha quadrant they will be able to marry each other and have at least one child. They both told me that Star Fleet has some plan to get this ship back in ten years time and they think that leaves them time to have that child. As her doctor, it is my opinion that she doesn't have another ten years to wait to have a child. My ethical dilemma is that I want to give them this information, as well as my recommendation, together, as a couple, so they can make a decision about whether to change the nature of their relationship. But, because they're not married or even engaged I should only give the information to her. Yet I'm fairly sure, if I do that she won't share the information with him and will end up making a very noble, self-sacrificing decision, as is her nature. The problem is, she'll be making that decision for both of them and he will be unaware of the circumstances."

"Doctor, I will do everything in my power to help you in this situation. I'm meeting with Dr. Crusher for lunch today, we'll discuss the situation and I'll get back to you tomorrow with our recommendations."

"Thank you, Deanna," the EMH said just as Seven of Nine and the crewman who was to speak to his family next entered Astrometrics.

* * *

May 18, 2378 1300 San Francisco Earth Alpha Quadrant

Deanna looked up from her iced tea and waved at Beverly Crusher. The attractive redheaded doctor came over to join her friend and colleague for their weekly lunch. Deanna had forwarded the memo from Voyager's EMH and the attached medical records to Beverly. They'd arranged to discuss the situation during their regular lunch meeting, but had agreed to wait until desert was served.

As the waiter brought Deanna "Death by Chocolate" and a sensible fruit sorbet to Beverly, Deanna brought up the subject of Voyager's command team, "So Beverly what do you think of Voyager's CMO's dilemma?"

"Well you know I've never been fond of emergency medical holograms and the thought of one serving as CMO…" Beverly pretended to shudder. "But, I'd have to say he's done a pretty good job so far. I doubt a flesh and blood doctor would have come to different conclusions."

"Would you have overlooked the protocols and administered the neutralizing agent for the boosters to them?" Deanna asked.

"Yes, I would have and before you ask, if I knew the captain and the commander as well as a CMO should after seven years, I would probably have done the same reproductive workup he did, and I would have consulted the ship's counselor about how to proceed, which is basically what the EMH has done considering there isn't a counselor on board. I really can't fault him on how he is handling this situation," Beverly replied.

"Do you agree with his assessment of her fertility?" Deanna asked.

"Yes, sadly he's right. She's not going to have the normal reproductive span for a number of reasons, chief among them the disease she suffered and the injuries she's sustained, coupled with the chronic stress. If she wants to have a child with Chakotay she has three choices, that is, if and when the effects of the boosters dissipate: she can try to get pregnant the old-fashioned way; or have the EMH harvest some eggs, have them fertilized with Chakotay's sperm and then place the zygotes in stasis; or have her eggs harvested and place the unfertilized eggs in stasis to be fertilized later. The first choice has the best chance of resulting in a healthy baby. The chances that a fertilized egg could be successfully implanted in Kathryn ten years from now are slim and that she could carry the fetus long enough for the child to be viable is even worse. I'd say the chance of her delivering a healthy baby ten years from now are in the range of 12-15%. The chances of a compatible surrogate mother being successfully implanted and then carrying to term is only marginally better, say 20-25%."

"What do you think her chances are if she goes ahead and tries to get pregnant 'the old-fashioned way' when the boosters effects have worn off?" Deanna asked.

"If both of them have a rebound in their fertility to normal levels, I'd say the chances they can conceive without any assistance in the first year after they start trying is probably between 50 and 75%. That is the same as any other healthy couple in their age bracket," Beverly responded. "Now, my turn to ask you some questions."

"Given Kathryn Janeway's psychological profile, if EMH only informs her of the situation, will she tell Chakotay?" Beverly asked.

"It's difficult to predict such things, but I think it's likely she wouldn't tell him. She has a high propensity for guilt. She blames herself for stranding her crew in the Delta quadrant. Her keeping Commander Chakotay at arm's length all these years is more than likely a form of self-penance," Deanna responded.

"It would be awful to think of a wonderful guy like Chakotay not having a chance to be a father," Beverly mused.

"Do you know the commander?" Deanna asked.

"Yes, though I don't know that he would remember me. The one time I met him he was not at his best, but he still made quite an impression on me," Beverly said with a smile.

"Well… go on, tell me about it." Deanna urged her friend, her face lit up with a grin.

"I won't soon forget it. It was about 10 months before I was appointed to the Enterprise, the earth equivalent date was November 19th 2362. I was stationed on Star Base 47. It had been a very busy day in the infirmary as one beat up humanoid after another kept arriving all shift long. Apparently one of the station's bars was holding a 'bare knuckles last man standing boxing competition' and what I was seeing all afternoon were the losers. Finally, in came this very inebriated, very battered, extremely handsome commander," Beverly paused to take a sip of her drink.

"Commander Chakotay I presume?" Deanna inquired.

"Yes, seems his buddies from the Gettysburg had decided to help the commander celebrate his recent promotion and his imminent transfer to Utopia Planitia Fleet Yards where he was to oversee the completion of a Galaxy class ship and then assume the first officer duties on that ship when it launched," Beverly told Deanna.

"Wait, are you trying to say that Commander Chakotay was suppose to be the first officer of the Enterprise D?" asked Deanna incredulously.

"That was the rumor. Anyway he'd taken a lot of damage in this boxing competition and I decided to ask him some simple questions to see if he had any sort of neurological damage."

* * *

Nov 19, 2362 Star Base 47 Infirmary

"Commander, what's your name?" Beverly asked the handsome man laying on the biobed in front of her.

"Chakotay. What's your name, beautiful?" the drunken officer replied.

Beverly ignored the clumsy pass by her attractive patient and continued with her evaluation of his concussion.

"Do you know what day it is, Commander?"

"Sure do, it's my birthday? Want to help me celebrate?" he added with a captivating smile.

'Gods,' Beverly thought 'even drunk and beaten to a pulp this guy's a charmer.'

She looked back at his buddies who had brought him in with an expression that asked if it really was the commander's birthday.

One of the other officers said, "Yeah it really is his birthday ma'am, its part of why we were celebrating."

"And the other part?" she asked.

"Well, he just got promoted to Commander and he's to be transferred to Utopia Planitia to oversee the completion of a new Galaxy class ship and well you know the guy sent to oversee the completion of a big ship like that is probably gonna be made the XO," the officer replied, obviously excited for his friend.

"I see," Beverly said and then turned her attention to her patient again. "So tell me commander, how old are you today?"

"Really or officially?" Chakotay asked earnestly.

"Uh, is there a difference?" Beverly asked uncertainly.

"Yep, sure is. Officially I'm 30 but I'm really 27," Chakotay answered with a grin.

Crusher turned on the officers that had brought Chakotay in and asked, "What did you get him drunk on?"

They all grinned and simultaneously responded, "Romulan Ale!"

'It figured they'd get him drunk on the one liquor universal known to act almost as effectively as sodium pentothal on humans. Well she might as well hear the end of this story.' Beverly thought.

"So how is it that your official age and your real age don't match, Commander?" Beverly asked.

"I'll tell you, Doc, if you stop calling me commander and start calling me Chakotay," he bargained.

"All right Chakotay, tell me why your real age and official age don't match," she asked, humoring the good-looking officer.

"I lied on my application to Star Fleet Academy so I wouldn't need my parent's permission to get in," Chakotay was too drunk to register the shocked inhalations of breath by his buddies and everyone else in the infirmary. In his drunken state he'd forgotten he could be drummed out of Star Fleet for lying on his application.

* * *

May 18, 2378 1340

"Well as I know he continued on in Star Fleet they obviously didn't cashier him out for the lie, but just as obviously he didn't get to be XO on the Enterprise, so what happened?" Deanna asked.

"Well, one of his victims in that bare-knuckles tournament was still in the infirmary when Chakotay made his admission and the fellow was not only a loser, but a sore one to boot. So the guy made sure the information got back to Star Fleet command. They demoted him back to lieutenant. So he had to make the climb back up the ranks again."

"Bet he never drank Romulan ale again." Deanna ventured.

"Yea, I wonder if he ever had his nose fixed?" Beverly pondered.

"What?" Deana asked.

"I left a bit of a bump in his nose as a reminder not to box, and besides, I thought it made him sexier looking, not that he needed any help in that department, mind you." Crusher confessed.

"Sounds like you fancied him a bit," Deanna teased.

"Only as someone easy on the eyes, Deanna. After all I do prefer older men not younger," Beverly replied with a suggestive raise of her eyebrows.

"So back to the present my friend. What do we tell Voyager's CMO?" Deanna asked.

"Well, I have no qualms at all about him discussing her options with both of them, after all he did say they both spoke as if they were engaged or in a committed relationship, so I don't see that as being an ethical bind. Sure they don't want to broach this topic, but its time they acted like grownups for a change," Beverly responded with her opinion.

"Yes I think it's the best choice, I just wish we had some sort of leverage to give Voyager's CMO." Deanna said thoughtfully.

"Oh, I'm going to give him some leverage. I'm going to send a directive as the head of Star Fleet Medical that the anti-fraternization protocol is hereby suspended on Voyager. I'm also going to direct that, unless the commanding officers of Voyager can demonstrate to their CMO a mature attitude towards a healthy sexual relationship between consenting adults, that they be relieved of command until such time that they can demonstrate such an attitude to his satisfaction," Beverly said slapping her hand on the table to emphasize her point.

Deanna grinned, "I think, Beverly, that you're about to make things up to the commander for inadvertently getting him demoted. But don't you think you're second directive may be seen as being a bit extreme?"

"No, not really. Deanna, think about it. You have a crew of nearly 150 young healthy, unattached humanoids, who have been living in close quarters with each other for the last 6 and a half years, but there has only been one marriage. Does that sound normal to you?" Before Deanna could respond Beverly added, "Not everyone on that ship is constrained by the anti-fraternization protocols you know."

"Yes, there should have been considerable more long term relationships established in that time frame, one would expect nearly two-thirds of the ship to be in committed relationships by this time," Deanna replied.

"And to what would you attribute this anomalous behavior?" Beverly inquired.

Deanna felt certain that Beverly had her own opinion on the matter and that her opinion was reflected in her second directive.

"I suppose you could attribute it to a failure of the command team to lead by example. I mean, how would it feel to be a couple on that ship, knowing that your commanding officers were in love with each other, and from what The Doctor says everyone on the ship knows that, but also knowing that they would not become involved because of protocols or a misguided sense of duty to the crew? Could you comfortably go to the captain to ask her to perform a marriage ceremony?" Deanna asked rhetorically.

"It seems so far only one couple have had the chutzpah to do it and considering who they are, and considering their relationships to the command team, maybe they are the only ones who can while this emotional stalemate continues," Beverly observed.

"I'm sorry what did you mean by who they are and their relationships to the command team?" Deanna asked thrown a bit by the addition of that comment in Beverly's explanation.

"Voyager's only married couple are the chief engineer Lt. B'Elanna Torres and Voyager's best pilot Lt. Tom Paris, Admiral Paris' son. B'Elanna was in the Maquis with Chakotay and Owen Paris was one of Katherine Janeway's mentor's," Beverly explained.

"Ah, so Lieutenant Torres is most likely close to Commander Chakotay and Captain Janeway may feel some sort of familial attachment to Lt. Paris," Deanna concluded.

"Exactly, so they may have a bit more leeway when it comes to exploring their relationship than the rest of the crew feel they have a right to, considering their commanding officer's position on observing protocol and sacrificing their own relationship for the sake of their duty to the ship."

"Well, when you put it that way, I suppose your second directive is reasonable," Deanna observed. "Let's make sure The Doctor fully understands your reasoning for the second directive."

* * *

May 19th, 2378 1015 Bridge

Things were almost back to normal today with Chakotay and the Captain both on Alpha shift, or at least as back to normal as they could be for a ship ostensibly planning a surprise birthday party for its captain while actually planning a party to cheer up their first officer. Well that and considering that nearly every male member of the crew over 30 was suffering the effects of neutralizing the contraceptive boosters. For his part Chakotay found it necessary to excuse himself from the bridge to work in his office, as the captain's presence was proving to be too distracting to him.

To: Tom Paris

From: Harry Kim

Time: 1015

Good thing Chakotay left the bridge I was definitely getting an inferiority complex. Man, that was either a phaser in his pants or he was happy to see the captain.

To Harry Kim

From: Tom Paris

Time 10:16

Harry,

1) Just because you and Gerron are young enough to not have to go off the boosters, does not mean you should poke fun at the older guys, who are suffering from the neutralization side effects.

2) Do you remember my mentioning that just the other day the Captain hacked into padd messages on the bridge?

Tom turned around to see Harry gulping and nervously looking at the Captain. He decided to get his younger friend off the hook. "Captain, how are you going to get the commander to the party this evening?"

"I invited him to have dinner with me and I'm going to tell him we're eating in a little Italian bistro on the holodeck, which by the way in case he says something about it, you designed the café," the captain replied.

"OK, well let's hope he's not too disappointed with the party instead of an Italian dinner with you," Tom replied teasingly.

"Tom…" the captain said in a friendly but warning tone.

"OK. Say, are you gonna submit a song request or a dedication to the DJ?" Tom asked. He'd come up with the idea of playing 20th and 21st century songs at the party and allowing the crew to make requests and to dedicate songs to someone. He presumed most would be to Chakotay, although since Chakotay thought the party was for the captain he'd already received a dedication from Chakotay to the Captain, well actually for Kathryn and boy was it romantic - "The Rose" by Bette Midler.

"Well I'm thinking about it but I can't make up my mind between a couple of songs," she replied.

"Well why not request both, I mean there ought to be some advantage to being the captain." Tom said.

"Maybe I'll do that," She replied. 'Yes, maybe "The Wind Beneath My Wings" from the Captain and "Can You Read My Mind" from Kathryn, she thought to herself.

The rest of the alpha shift proceeded smoothly on the bridge, meanwhile in Astrometrics, the EMH was receiving a response to his consultation with Deanna Troi. The Doctor was both pleased and a bit surprised. Not only had Deanna and Dr. Crusher agreed with him, but Dr. Crusher had also used her position as Chief of Star Fleet Medical to force the captain and commander to deal with their relationship for the good of the crew. He did not think he would have thought of quite that tactic himself, but he was glad Dr. Crusher had given him so much leverage, however he wondered how they'd take it. The Doctor decided to speak to them after their shifts were over for the day.

* * *

May 19th, 2378 1605 Sickbay

Kathryn made her way towards sickbay wondering what The Doctor wanted to talk to her about. Perhaps he had learned something more about the side effects of neutralizing boosters.

As she entered sickbay, she called out to The Doctor, "Good afternoon doctor. Now what was it you wanted to talk to me about, is it something about the contraceptive boosters?"

"Yes, in a way it is," he replied.

"Well?" the captain asked impatiently.

"Why don't you come into my office captain?" The Doctor said stalling a bit waiting for Commander Chakotay to arrive.

"Alright," the captain replied with a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"Please sit down. Are you comfortable? Can I get you something?" The Doctor asked continuing to delay and beginning to wonder where Commander Chakotay was.

"No doctor, I'd simply like to talk about whatever it is you called me down here to discuss."

Kathryn was now curious about the doctor's delaying tactics.

Just at that moment Chakotay entered Sickbay and called out, "Doctor?"

"In here Commander Chakotay," The Doctor called back.

"Sorry I was delayed doc…" Chakotay said as he came into the doctor's office and noticed Kathryn sitting in front of the doctor's desk.

"Please Commander take a seat and we can get started," The Doctor said motioning to the empty chair in front of his desk.

Only as The Doctor asked Chakotay to sit down did it dawn on Kathryn that there were two chairs in front of the doctor's desk rather than the usual one. She wondered why The Doctor would want both of them there at the same time.

Chakotay was puzzled about why The Doctor would want to speak to both him and Kathryn at the same time, but considered that perhaps The Doctor simply thought there was something she should know as captain that he too should be aware of as the ship's unofficial counselor.

The Doctor found himself a bit nervous about this upcoming conversation so he decided to start out jokingly, "I'm sure you're wondering why I've asked you here."

The captain and commander gave him weak smiles and the captain said a bit impatiently, "Yes doctor, I think I made it clear earlier that I was curious about just that."

"Yes well, as you suggested this is partly about the contraceptive boosters," The Doctor began.

"Do you have information about the side effects of neutralizing the boosters?" Chakotay interjected.

"Yes, but that's not the primary reason I've asked you here," The Doctor replied.

"I'm not sure where to start," The Doctor began hesitantly.

"Perhaps at the beginning," Kathryn suggested with growing impatience.

"Yes, I suppose that's as good a place as any." The EMH said thoughtfully. "A few days ago Commander Chakotay brought the article on the contraceptive boosters to my attention," as The Doctor paused Chakotay fidgeted in his chair worried about what The Doctor would reveal. "He then proceeded to ask me to neutralize his booster. I resisted until he explained his reason."

"Doctor," Chakotay almost snarled at the EMH, "you said you would respect my privacy and observe doctor-patient confidentiality."

"Yes I did, but if you will let me finish what I was going to say, I think you'll understand that what I'm doing is very much in your best interest."

The Doctor stopped to see if Chakotay was going to calm down and listen, and to his pleasure he saw the Commander begin to rein in his temper.

"As I was saying, when he told me why he wanted to have the contraceptive boosters neutralized I agreed to do it. But it wasn't until you came in 8 hours later and made the same request," The Doctor paused and looked at the two people in front of him very deliberately, then looked Kathryn Janeway in the eyes and said, "and gave me the same reason that I realized there were a number of things I needed to check on immediately."

The Doctor almost wished he didn't have any more to say because watching the emotions flicker across the command team's faces as they realized that they shared the same dream was captivating.

"As soon as I realized that you both wanted to have a child together after we return to the Alpha quadrant, I wanted to check to see if that would be possible, if the boosters wear off as they are supposed to. I'm very sorry to say this Captain … Kathryn, but my analysis showed that due to the illnesses, injuries and near constant stress you've endured in the Delta quadrant you would not be able to become pregnant ten years from now, I believe you have 5 to 7 years of fertility left to you. I wanted to check with another doctor to see if I was correct and I also wanted to see what a counselor would say about my giving you this information together with Chakotay. So I contacted Counselor Deanna Troi, who in turn contacted Dr. Beverly Crusher, the Chief of Star Fleet Medical," The Doctor watched the stunned couple taking in what he had told them so far. He could see that Kathryn was on the verge of tears so he wanted to hurry and finish what he was saying so he could give her some hope.

"Unfortunately Dr. Crusher confirmed my findings and she and Deanna agreed with me that you should hear this information together as a couple. Kathryn you do have alternatives," The Doctor said gently.

"After the effects of the boosters dissipate, I could harvest several of your eggs and place them in stasis to be fertilized later or I could collect some of your eggs and have them fertilized with Chakotay's sperm, then place the zygotes in stasis. When we arrive in the Alpha quadrant we could then attempt to prepare you for implantation of a fertilized egg in your uterus or if that is not possible a compatible surrogate mother could be implanted," The EMH noticed Kathryn brighten visibly as he explained her alternatives.

"However, neither of those scenarios is very likely to produce the healthy baby you want. The chances that you would be able to carry and deliver your own baby 10 years from now are about 12-15%. The chances that a compatible surrogate mother would be able to are only marginally better, perhaps 20-25%."

"Do the chances improve by harvesting more eggs?" Kathryn asked.

"No, not really. Each attempt at implantation would have about the same chance of resulting in a healthy pregnancy, its not as though if you keep trying you are guaranteed it will work, and frankly, the emotional devastation of trying over and over again is not something I'd recommend," The Doctor replied gently.

"Your best chance to have a child together is to wait until after the effects of the boosters have dissipated and the danger of genetic anomalies has decreased, then attempt to conceive 'the old fashioned way' as Dr. Crusher put it," The Doctor noticed a hint of blush on both Kathryn and Chakotay's face with his last comment.

"What are the odds that Kathryn could conceive and bear a healthy child if we did as you suggest?" Chakotay asked still a bit embarrassed.

"If both of you recover your normal fertility and do nothing more than engage in unprotected intercourse when the mood strikes you, I'd say there would be a 50-75% chance that within a year she would be pregnant. And there are a few simple ways to increase those odds dramatically," The Doctor replied. He noticed that they both seemed pensive but hopeful.

"I need to make you aware of two directives from Dr. Crusher, and please bear in mind two things, one I did not suggest these directives to her and most importantly as Chief of Star Fleet Medical her directives carry as much weight as orders from Star Fleet Headquarters," The Doctor paused to see if he had the couple's attention.

"First," he began quoting from a pad, "the anti-fraternization protocol is hereby suspended for the duration of Voyager's mission in the Delta quadrant. No officer shall be disciplined for fraternizing with a subordinate this includes romantic associations. Star Fleet does not of course condone any behavior that might be deemed sexual harassment but has every confidence in its personnel's ability to conduct themselves as mature and compassionate beings.

Second, Star Fleet Medical is concerned that there appears to be a lack off romantic attachments between crewmembers that were previously not constrained by the anti-fraternization protocol. It is the considered opinion of the CMO of Star Fleet Medical that this behavior is a direct result of the most senior officers inappropriate denial of their romantic attraction to each other. Therefore, as a consequence of their failure to lead by example, they are endangering the mental and emotional well being of their crew. The CMO of Voyager is hereby directed to charge the captain and first officer of Voyager to demonstrate to his satisfaction and within a reasonable time frame that they are capable of a mature attitude towards a healthy sexual relationship between consenting adults or be relieved of command."

"What?" Kathryn and Chakotay simultaneously demanded.

"I believe you both heard and understood what I read. Dr Crusher believes it's high time you two acted like adults and discuss your feelings. I shouldn't be the one to hear how much you love each other, you should be talking to one another about your feelings and your dreams for the future!" The Doctor responded in exasperation.

The strained silence in the doctor's office was almost overwhelming. Finally The Doctor cleared his throat and said, "Well I know what you've heard today is unsettling and will take a while to process but I want you to know that while Dr. Crusher's second directive surprised me, I fully intend to enforce it. I will however give you a few days to deal with things. And now if you don't mind I have a few things to attend to," The Doctor said by way of dismissing himself.

Kathryn and Chakotay rose silently from the office chairs and proceeded out of sickbay in silence. When they arrived at the turbolift Chakotay requested deck three. They continued their journey towards their quarters walking so close to one another that it seemed as though he were supporting her, though in truth they weren't touching each other. They walked in silence each lost in his or her thoughts. When they reached the captain's quarters she turned to Chakotay.

"Do you want to come in and talk," she asked very reluctantly.

"No," he replied. "I think we each need a little time alone to sort out our own feelings about this situation before we discuss it."

"Yes," she said relieved and not really surprised to hear him articulate what she was feeling. He almost always knew what she needed, sometimes even before she knew it.

"How about you meet me here about 1845 and we'll go to the holodeck for dinner? We can talk afterwards."

"The holodeck?" he said, wondering if someone had let slip the plans for the party.

"Yes, Tom told me he's got this new program, an Italian bistro, I thought we'd try it. Unless you'd rather not?" she offered reflexively.

"No, no it sounds great," he responded, thinking both how clever Tom was and how relieved he was that he wouldn't have to think of an excuse to get them to the party.

"Besides Italian food from a holodeck program of Tom's sounds better than something from that recalcitrant replicator of yours," he added, wisely blaming the replicator rather than the operator.

"I knew it, you don't like my cooking," she said feigning a hurt expression.

"Well… it's not one of your greatest talents, but I'm a tolerant and forgiving man," Chakotay teased.

"Yes, you are," Kathryn replied softly and very earnestly.

Chakotay felt they needed to part before he said or did something stupid, so he pulled away from her and started towards his door saying, "I'll be back later to pick you up."

She smiled at him and said, "OK" just before disappearing into her quarters.

* * *

May 19th, 2378 1630 Chakotay's Quarters

Chakotay wondered what to do with the time he had on his hands. He had a couple of hours before he had to pick Kathryn up and it would only take him a half hour or so to shower and dress. Maybe he should take that long delayed vision quest he'd been promising himself he would take. Yes that felt right, maybe talking to his animal guide would help him come to some decision about this most recent turn of events.

Chakotay went to the shelf where he kept his medicine bundle and brought it down. He sat cross-legged in the middle of his living area and opened the bundle. He took out the carved river stone and held it in his hand for a moment then placed it down and put his hand on the akoonah.

"A-koo-chee-moya. I am far from the sacred places of our grandfathers. I am far from the bones of our people. But perhaps in these unnamed skies there is one powerful being who will embrace me and give me the answers I seek."

Chakotay found himself seated on a log in front of a fire that his father Kolopak was tending. He had expected to find his spirit guide waiting for him.

"The wolf was here earlier but I think she grew tired of waiting for you, chico." Kolopak said.

Chakotay was a bit surprised and maybe even angry that his father called him chico - boy. Kolopak rarely spoke Spanish though nearly everyone in the tribe spoke it fluently as a second language; in fact most spoke it better than Federation Standard. Kolopak said they should all stick to their dialect of Mayan because Spanish represented the language of the conquerors, the oppressors. Generally the only time his father spoke in Spanish was to curse. Maybe that's what he was doing now, Chakotay thought.

"I'm not a boy, father," Chakotay stated testily.

"They say a man sees his children as children until they are parents themselves," Kolopak replied.

"Oh so my little sister Maliya is a woman not a girl because she has children but I'm still a boy because I don't?" Chakotay asked hotly.

"Actually it is not because you are childless that I think of you as a boy, but because you still so often respond to situations like a child. You are afraid to be hurt and afraid to sustain a loss so you avoid confrontation," Kolopak said to his son.

Chakotay stood and began to pace and gesture with his hands as he responded.

"What do you know of hurt and loss? Did your father reject you for being unable to walk the same path as him?"

Chakotay gave Kolopak no time to respond but continued on.

"No, he was still by your side even when he became a crazy old man. When you fell in love with mother were there any barriers to your making her your own? No, you only had to brave the fear of rejection; there were no rules against your being her husband. Did you lose your entire family and all your childhood friends before you ever realized how much you loved and needed them?"

By this time tears were streaming down Chakotay's face and it was hard to understand his words.

Kolopak stood and came close to his son.

"I disagreed with your choices yes, but I never rejected you, son. I couldn't do that, I love you."

At this point, Kolopak took his son in his arms and held him and stroked his hair until the younger man's crying subsided.

"You have faced more pain and suffering in your lifetime than most men ever do and that is why I am confused now about how you are responding to situations. Why is my strong, brave son running and hiding from these latest pains?" Kolopak asked as he released Chakotay and looked at him.

"I don't know father, maybe because all of these things: learning Maliya was still alive and feeling so guilty about my relationship with B'Elanna, learning that my dream to be with Kathryn and have a child with her was endangered and that Boothby died, they all came at me at once while I was so tired, tired of doing what I have to do or should do, instead of what I want to do," Chakotay answered in a weary voice.

"Your friend Boothby visited me recently. I'm glad you had a wise and caring mentor like that when you were at the academy. You were so very young to be so far from your family and your people," Kolopak told Chakotay.

Chakotay started guiltily at his father's words.

"You needn't feel guilty because you thought of Boothby as a second father, as you have recently learned there is room in a heart for the family you are born to as well as the those who come to feel like family."

The truth of his father's words as well as his smile warmed Chakotay. He sat back down and began to speak his heart to his father.

"You know, often times Boothby's lessons were the same as ones you tried to teach me. I guess I just wasn't ready to learn them when you presented them."

"Maybe I was pushing you too hard, trying to make you learn things before you were ready for them," Kolopak conceded.

"Maybe or maybe I was just being contrary." Chakotay suggested.

Kolopak laughed and pushed his son affectionately as he replied, "Yes, that's probably the answer."

"So how do you feel about learning your sister and niece are alive?" Kolopak asked.

"Conflicted, I'm happy they are alive, but angry at the thought that I didn't protect them from what they must have been through," Chakotay said.

"Chakotay, I was there and so were Pacal and Baal. If we could not protect her what more could you have done? I know I told you when you were a small boy that Maliya was your responsibility, but she's a grown woman now, responsible for herself," Kolopak told Chakotay in an attempt to console him.

"I guess," he responded, not sounding at all convinced.

Kolopak decided to move on to the more difficult issue. "And what of this woman you long for, what is it now that keeps you two apart? What is it that prevents your dream of seeing her grow fat with your child?"

"So much father and so little. There was a time when I doubted whether she felt the same for me as I do for her, but now I know she does, but still I know she will resist our being together." Chakotay replied.

"Why? If she loves you as you love her why would she resist? Is there still some impediment to your joining?" Kolopak asked gently.

"Well, the protocol that stood between us has been suspended and we've more or less been ordered to discuss our feelings." Chakotay added the last part resentfully.

"I see and are you going to let your contrary nature rob you of this opportunity to discuss things with her?' Kolopak asked.

"No, I mean I don't like to be forced to do things even when its something I want to do. You know that, I've been that way all my life."

"Yes," Kolopak chuckled and at his son's curious look continued, "sorry I was just thinking about how when you were little you would howl about having to take a bath and then howl just as loudly about not wanting to get out of the tub!" Chakotay gave his father an 'I can't believe you said that' look and Kolopak finished with "Wait until you're a father, you'll understand."

"That's just it, I may not get to be a father. Now at least I know Kathryn wants a baby, my baby." He smiled at that thought for a moment. "But I'm certain she won't want to have one while we are out here in the Delta quadrant, while she has so much responsibility on her shoulders. I'm not even sure I want to have a child out here in the Delta quadrant, it's such a dangerous place, too dangerous to bring an innocent child into."

"Chakotay, if every couple waited to have a child, until they thought circumstances were perfect, the human race would have died out long ago. Every parent has to juggle their responsibilities with caring for their child, that's why it takes a mother and a father and grandparents and aunts and uncles and neighbors to help raise a child. And are you so certain the Alpha quadrant would be any safer a place for your child than your ship would be, after all Trebus and Dorvan are in the Alpha quadrant aren't they?" Kolopak asked, raising the specter of the children who died in the Cardassian attacks.

"I don't know. I suppose your right about those things too." Chakotay replied thoughtfully

"Chakotay, some dreams can't wait. Grab what life will give you with both hands and hold on tight," Kolopak said. "Now don't you think you should get ready to go see that 'beautiful woman' of yours?"

Chakotay smiled when his father called Kathryn 'beautiful woman', as that was Kolopak's nickname for Chakotay's mother.

"Yes father, I suppose you're right."

With that Chakotay opened his eyes and found himself back in the living area of his quarters. He gathered his medicine bundle and put it away. After consulting the computer he found he had time for a long shower before he would need to get dressed and go pick up Kathryn for the party.

* * *

While Chakotay had been on a vision quest Kathryn had soaked in her tub and pondered much the same things Chakotay had. She was torn, she so wanted a life with him and to have his child, but to be forced to try to do that while still commanding Voyager? It seemed impossible to her and… she was so frightened. What if she let Chakotay into her life completely, because that's what she would do if she were to have his child while still out here in the Delta quadrant, and then something happened to him? How would she survive? She'd already lived through the devastation of losing a lover once, how could she face that again? How could she face it alone, without her mother and sister to help her get through it? Yet how could she not let him into her life when she knew how much he loved her and how much she loved him? How could she let their shared dream die? She turned the problem over and over in her head and finally realized she couldn't solve the problem on her own. She needed to talk to Chakotay and that would have to wait until after the party, which she suddenly realized she'd better start getting ready for if she hoped to be on time.

* * *

May 19, 2378 1845 Kathryn's Quarters

Chakotay rang the chime to Kathryn's quarters.

"Come in, Chakotay," Kathryn called from her bedroom. "I'm just finishing getting dressed."

Chakotay decided to be bold and crossed her quarters to stand in the doorway of her bedroom. She looked stunning to him. She had chosen to wear a peasant blouse in pale blue with a short, tight navy skirt. She hadn't put on her high heels yet and was standing there in her stocking feet in front of her mirror as she tried to put on a necklace. She was having trouble with it.

"Here let me help you with that," he said as he took the few steps necessary to be standing behind her. He took the ends of the necklace from her and moved her hair aside. Touching her hair and standing behind her brought back the bittersweet memory of rubbing her neck on New Earth four years earlier. As he looked at the ivory smoothness of her shoulders he longed to take her in his arms and make sweet love to her, but that would have to wait until after they talked, if that talk went well. "There that looks beautiful, just like you."

"Oh Chakotay," she said and turned and placed a hand on his chest as she often did. She looked at Chakotay; he was wearing dark trousers and a white shirt that buttoned down the front. The first few buttons were undone revealing just a bit of his bronze skin. He looked incredibly handsome and there was something in his expression that seemed so open and so vulnerable. She stepped away from him and began putting on her shoes.

"Well we better be going. Our reservation for the holodeck starts at 1900."

"Okay," he replied simply and followed her out of her quarters.

Chakotay allowed himself the liberty of placing his hand in the small of her back to guide her down the corridor. They stepped into the turbolift and he asked for deck six. As they stood in front of the holodeck doors he wondered nervously how Kathryn would take their dinner date suddenly turning into a surprise birthday party, unaware that she was having the same thoughts about him.

* * *

May 19, 2378 1900 Holodeck

When they stepped through the holodeck doors people began singing 'For He's a Jolly Good Fellow', sounding noisemakers and throwing confetti. On the far wall was a banner that said 'Happy 45th and a Half Birthday Commander Chakotay!' Chakotay was overwhelmed and confused. "But this was suppose to be your birthday party." He finally managed to say to Kathryn.

"Well that's what you were suppose to believe. And everyone did a wonderful job keeping the secret." Kathryn said as she shared a conspiratorial grin with Naomi.

"Come on Chakotay," Tom said as he began maneuvering his 'brother-in-law' away from the entrance to the holodeck and towards the opposite wall of the large room, "we've got tables groaning with your favorite foods and drinks and over here are some presents from the crew."

"OK but the first present I'd like is for you to get my age right on the banner!" Chakotay said jovially.

"What do you mean Chakotay?" Kathryn asked.

"I'm 42 and a half, not 45 and half," he replied good naturedly.

"Now Chakotay, you can't lie about your age, after all your Star Fleet record says you were born November 19, 2332 and I know you graduated the academy in 2355." Kathryn argued.

"Well I did graduate from the academy in 2355 but I was born in 2335 and if you looked carefully at my Star Fleet record you might have noticed that in 2362 I was busted from Commander back to Lieutenant for having lied on my Application to the academy. I can't believe Star Fleet didn't amend my records to reflect my true age while they were at it," Chakotay countered. Everyone in the holodeck was astounded.

"But that would mean you went to the academy when you were what 16?" asked Harry incredulously.

"Actually Harry I was 15 when the first term started." Chakotay replied.

"Wow, you must have been the youngest human to ever attend the academy." Harry said.

"I suppose I might have been at that," Chakotay said in a voice that said he might not have thought of that before now.

"OK if we change the banner, will you come over here and eat something and then open your presents?" Tom cajoled and Chakotay grinned and nodded.

After Chakotay had loaded up a plate of his favorite foods and downed about half of it while chatting with B'Elanna, Kathryn and Harry over the background of 20th century music, Tom came over and said it was time to open his presents. Chakotay knew better than to argue with Tom, so he just went along with him to a small table.

"Hey Chakotay open this first," said Ken Dalby as he put a box in Chakotay's hands. "Its from the gang in engineering. B'Elanna did the reconnaissance for us."

Chakotay removed the wrapping as he shot his 'little sister' a look and then his hands closed on a handsome wooden case. When he opened it he found a selection of wood carving tools that would perfectly complement the ones he already owned and the box had spaces for his existing tools. He'd been saving up replicator rations for years and occasionally replicated a new tool. He knew that at the rate he'd been able to add to his set it would be years before he acquired a complete set. The 'gang in engineering' had just given him a wonderful present.

"Thanks, wow these are incredible." Chakotay said.

"Open this next," Mike Ayala said with a big grin as he placed a large heavy box in front of Chakotay. "Its from the crew in security," he added.

Chakotay opened the box to reveal a selection of wood, mostly pieces of driftwood. As he took each piece out of the box his hands moved over the surfaces and his mind began conjuring up the different projects he could make from each piece. He looked up to ask Mike about the pieces of wood, but before he could ask Ayala began explaining.

"We discovered a lot of folks had picked up likely looking bits of wood on away missions and shore leaves with the intention of asking you to make something, but none of us had had the courage to ask you to put yourself out for us in that way. So these pieces of wood have been just sitting around, but now we're hoping you'll put them to good use."

"Thank you I'll certainly try," Chakotay said a bit choked up.

Next Megan Delaney handed him a round box and said, "This is from the people in Sciences".

As Chakotay took the box from Megan, it rattled and he began to shake the box but Megan stopped him. "Don't do that, some of them might break."

With that comment Chakotay quickly but carefully opened the box to find a variety of shells and semi-precious stones perfect for turning into heishi.

"These are beautiful!" Chakotay exclaimed, "but surely these must be things you've all collected for your own use."

"Most of us don't have the kind of talent you do for making beautiful things with our hands, we would much rather see you put them to use than for them to just sit somewhere in a drawer." Megan responded.

"I'm honored by your faith in my abilities." Chakotay said, then he grinned wondering what his mother would think if she knew her son was about to follow in her footsteps as a maker of heishi jewelry. Hopefully he wouldn't get the excruciating neck aches she did when working to make the beads.

Harry stepped forward and placed an envelope in Chakotay's hand.

"Here commander this is from the senior staff and everyone in operations," he said proudly.

Chakotay opened the envelope and extracted a piece of stiff paper, which simply stated '50 replicator rations'.

"We know you have a tendency to be overly generous with your replicator rations, so we thought we'd even things out a bit."

Harry then turned towards the captain and continued, "And ma'am, Commander Tuvok said," Harry paused then continued in his best imitation of Tuvok, "it would be unfair of Captain Janeway to coerce the commander into giving her a portion of these rations as she usually does with his normal allotment."

Everyone laughed.

"I don't coerce Chakotay into giving me his rations, he just does it all on his own," Kathryn complained.

"I do it for the good of the crew. Kathryn Janeway without her coffee is a CO to rival captains Bly or Ahab," he said with a teasing grin on his face.

At last B'Elanna elbowed her way through the crowd to her 'brother's' side.

"Boy you think this crew would give a pregnant Klingon some room," B'Elanna said with a grin.

Gales of laughter permeated the room following the petite but very pregnant engineer's comment.

"Here Chakotay," B'Elanna said as she handed him an envelope with his name on it, "this is from the entire crew."

Chakotay opened the envelope and took out what looked like an old fashioned gift certificate. As he read the words on the certificate his eyes began to mist up and a lump formed in his throat.

"Go on read it out loud," B'Elanna urged him.

"I don't know if I can" Chakotay responded in a soft, emotion-choked voice.

"I'll do it for you," Kathryn said as she took the certificate from his hands.

"This certificate entitles Commander Chakotay to the use of the entire communication window tomorrow May 20th 2378." The captain read.

"Doesn't seem fair I get such a wonderful present on your birthday," Chakotay said.

"The best birthday present for me would be if my best friend was happy." Kathryn said.

Chakotay suddenly found himself shaking hands and receiving bear hugs from the male crewmembers and being hugged and kissed by the female ones. Finally, Tom rescued him a bit, from the sea of humanity that was washing over him, by announcing that it was time for some dancing and that he was going to start playing the song dedications.

As Tom was concerned that B'Elanna might be overdoing things he decided to play the song she wanted to dedicate to Chakotay first. She had requested the song Come In From The Rain by Melissa Manchester and Carole Bayer Sager. He told Chakotay to dance very gently with B'Elanna as the song played and then make sure B'Elanna found a comfortable seat. Chakotay found certain phrases from the song seemed to fit him and to fit his relationship with B'Elanna very well. He felt sure the phrases like 'a man like you will always take the long way home' and 'cause I think of us like an old cliché' would probably be stuck in his head for days.

Next, Tom announced the Bill Wither's tune 'Lean On Me' had been dedicated to Chakotay by Mike Ayala. Once again Chakotay found certain phrases in the song had great meaning for him like 'Please swallow your pride, if I have things you need to borrow. For no one can fill those of your needs that you won't let show.' He knew he'd been guilty of hiding his needs and not letting his friend's help him, but until he'd heard that song, it hadn't dawned on him that it was his pride getting in the way.

Next, was a song written by Carole King and recorded by James Taylor- You've Got A Friend, this one came from Harry Kim. Then the Wildmans dedicated Simon and Garfunkel's Bridge Over Troubled Water to him. At this point in the evening The Doctor made his way up to Tom and began an animated discussion with him. Finally, it seemed The Doctor had convinced Tom to let him have a shot at the mike.

"When I learned of Mr. Paris' idea to dedicate songs to the Commander I of course wanted to participate, but I thought it might be nice to actually sing a song for Chakotay." The Doctor began a short speech as only The Doctor could and at first his crewmates thought they would be bored by another one of the doctor's long-winded recitals but instead he described a most enchanting bit of entertainment.

"And so I perused the data base for 20th century music. I found this song from the musical 'Man of La Mancha' (Music by Mitch Leigh Lyrics by Joe Darion) The musical is based on the Spanish classic Don Quixote. The playwright Dale Wasserman uses an imaginative method to tell the ancient story of the madman Don Quixote. The play begins with the imprisonment of novelist Miguel de Cervantes y Saavedra during the Spanish Inquisition. Thrown into a dark prison to await trial, Cervantes and his faithful servant soon find themselves set upon by the other inmates, a bloodthirsty horde of thieves and murderers who organize an underworld trial in which the new inmates must defend themselves before "The Governor," the self-anointed kingpin of the prison.

Being a novelist, Cervantes convinces The Governor that his defense should take the form of an entertainment. He will present the story of a country squire named Alonso Quijana who, overwhelmed by the evil that men do toward men, put aside his sanity and set out into the world as a knight errant, dubbing himself Don Quixote of La Mancha, champion of the oppressed and righter of wrongs. The Governor agrees, and Cervantes begins to spin his tale, telling how Quijana left behind his family, and set out along a great highway to glory, a road that looked, to his servant Sancho Panza, remarkably like the road to El Toboso where the chickens are cheap. After a misguided attempt to do battle with a windmill, the two men eventually stumble upon a great castle-or a small inn, depending upon which of them you ask. A band of rough drinkers and several women of easy virtue, one of whom Don Quixote hails as "a sweet lady and a fair virgin", populate the inn. Quixote proceeds to worship the sweet lady, his "Dulcinea." Aldonza, the whore Don Quixote has chosen, doesn't know quite what to make of this, and when Don Quixote sends Sancho to ask for a token to carry into battle, she assumes that he wants what every man wants and angrily tosses him a dish rag. Aldonza is intrigued, however, by Don Quixote's strange words and his gentle manner, and when the old man successfully defends her against a whole band of manhandling hooligans, she is finally won over to his quest which he describes to her in song as 'The Impossible Dream.'" By this point in his narrative, everyone in the holodeck was gathered around to hear the doctor's summary of the play.

"Meanwhile, however, Quijana's family has convinced the self-important Dr. Carrasco to retrieve their mad patriarch. Carrasco is not so much interested in Quijana's well being as he is in the old man's fortune, which Carrasco stands to inherit as he is engaged to Quijana's niece. When The doctor arrives at the inn, Quijana mistakes him for the Great Enchanter, the most dangerous enemy of all good men. Don Quixote prepares to do battle once more, but this time, he has no defense against his enemy's weapon--a bright, mirrored shield in which the old man can see nothing but his old, foolish reflection. Thus defeated, Quijana returns home and agrees to draw up his will in his niece's favor--that is, until he receives an unexpected guest from the inn who begs him not to renounce 'The Impossible Dream.'

The Governor is impressed with Cervantes defense, as are the other prisoners, and the novelist's crimes are forgiven. But now the guards have returned, Cervantes has managed to defend himself in front of one court only to be dragged in front of another. It has not been wasted time, however, for as he climbs the steps out of his dark prison, he can hear the prisoners below still singing 'The Impossible Dream.'" At this point The Doctor morphed his holomatrix into an appropriate costume for the duel role of Cervantes/Quixote and broke into song:

_To dream the impossible dream,_

_to fight the unbeatable foe,_

_to bear with unbearable sorrow,_

_to run where the brave dare not go..._

_To right the unrightable wrong,_

_to love pure and chaste from afar,_

_to try when your arms are too weary_

_to reach the unreachable star!_

_This is my quest --_

_to follow that star_

_no matter how hopeless,_

_no matter how far --_

_To fight for the right_

_without question or pause,_

_to be willing to march into hell_

_for a heavenly cause!_

_And I know_

_if I'll only be true_

_to this glorious quest_

_that my heart_

_will be peaceful and calm_

_when I'm laid to my rest._

_And the world will be better for this_

_that one man, scorned and covered with scars,_

_still strove with his last ounce of courage_

_To reach the unreachable stars!_

The holodeck broke into applause, which of course pleased The Doctor, no end. As Tom put another song on, Chakotay pondered the song The Doctor had just sung. Was The Doctor trying to tell him his dreams were impossible? Just then the EMH appeared at his elbow and as though he had heard his thoughts, he leaned close to Chakotay and said in a voice barely above a whisper, "Don't get the wrong idea Commander I definitely do not think your fondest dream is an impossible one. I merely thought the imagery of this song, of a heroic man battling against great odds for the betterment of others, fit you well." With that the hologram shook his hand and drifted off among the crowd to bask in his crewmates admiration of his abilities as a singer.

Just as Chakotay thought he'd lose it from listening to all the sentimental songs aimed at him, the Delaney sisters saved the day by dedicating Nobody Does It Better performed by Carly Simon (music by Marvin Hamlisch lyrics by Carole Bayer Sager). The sexy theme song to a James Bond movie lifted the mood a bit though it did look as though Kathryn had storm clouds on her brow when Jenny asked Chakotay to dance. Seeing that, Tom decided to put the Captain's first dedication to Chakotay on next.

"This next song is dedicated to the Commander from the Captain. Its called Wind Beneath My Wings and its sung by Bette Midler" Tom was relishing his job as the disk jockey at this party.

As Chakotay listened to the words he searched for Kathryn in the crowd and looked at her face. Did she really mean what the song said? Did she really feel his support and really think of him as a hero? He started to make his way towards her. When Tom noticed Chakotay's goal he decided the next song he would play would be the one Chakotay wanted to dedicate to the Captain, also a song by Bette Midler "The Rose". Chakotay reached Kathryn's side just as the song began and he asked her to dance.

The command team made a very beautiful couple as Chakotay led her gracefully around the dance floor. They each found themselves lost in the words of the love song and the feel of being in each other's arms. Tom felt he needed to keep the music flowing to let his friends continue holding each other, so he put on the second song the captain requested. "This is from Kathryn to Chakotay 'Can You Read My Mind'." (Theme from the Movie Superman Music by John Williams, Words by Leslie Bricusse sung by Maureen McGovern).

As Chakotay continued to dance with Kathryn he listened closely to the words of the song. 'Did she mean them? Did she believe they could belong to each other? Did she know how much he needed to be loved by her?' He had to know.

"Kathryn, lets leave. Let's go have that discussion we need to have. Let's do it now." He said softly but urgently.

"But Chakotay the party is for you," Kathryn said.

"I know but I need to talk with you now," Chakotay insisted.

"All right but you should say something to the crew," she acquiesced.

He nodded and moved toward Tom's DJ area never relinquishing his hold on Kathryn's hand.

"Tom, I'd like to say something to the crew," Chakotay informed Tom.

"Oh and Tom have you got a song - I think its called Hero, the artist's name was Mariah Carey?"

"Uhm, yeah I've got it," Tom replied after looking through his database.

"Good," Chakotay said. "Now, how do I do this?" he asked as he gestured around the hall.

"Just talk into this mike, they'll hear you," Tom replied.

"I wanted to thank everyone again for your generosity and affection. I'm going to say good night to all of you now but before I leave I wanted to have Tom play a dedication from me to you. Please stay and enjoy yourselves," Chakotay said, and then turned to make his way through the crowd of his crewmates-his friends and family as the song he requested told the crew that they were the heroes. Each person he passed reached out to shake his hand or hug him or kiss his cheek. Through the whole loving gauntlet he never let go of Kathryn's hand.


	6. Chapter 6

May 19, 2378 2200 Kathryn's Quarters

Chakotay and Kathryn walked to the turbolift in companionable silence, still holding hands. "Deck three," Chakotay told the computer. They looked at each other nervously as the turbolift took them down to the deck their quarters were on. They walked to Kathryn's quarters although they hadn't said a word about whose quarters they'd have THE conversation in.

Once they'd gotten in her quarters Kathryn finally let go of Chakotay's hand and moved towards the replicator. "Do you want something? I'm going to have a glass of wine."

"That sounds good to me too," Chakotay said nervously as he sat on Kathryn's couch. She came over and handed him a glass of wine then sat on the couch. They weren't sitting very close but they had angled their bodies toward each other so that his left knee just touched her right.

They sat in awkward silence for a minute, then Chakotay said, "Spirits, Kathryn when we left the party I knew what I wanted to say but now that we're here, I can't think," he took a large gulp of his wine, set the glass down and then proceeded on, his words almost tumbling from his mouth. "I hate that we've been coerced into having this conversation and yet it's one I've wanted to have with you for years. But I've always been so afraid," he admitted.

"Afraid of what?" she asked softly.

"Afraid I'd say the wrong thing or more like me, say the right thing but in the wrong way. Kathryn, I'd rather endure the status quo indefinitely than risk losing you," he replied.

"Is that why you've never really pushed me to change our relationship?" she asked.

"Yes, I was always afraid you'd reject me totally. The few times I've crossed that invisible line between what is and isn't acceptable in our relationship you've pulled away from me. It's hell for me when you push me away like that and I'm always afraid you won't ever let me get close to you again," Chakotay confessed.

"Oh Chakotay, I'm so sorry I've hurt you, but you have to understand I'm afraid too, so very afraid," Kathryn admitted.

Now it was Chakotay's turn to ask for an explanation. "But why, surely you know how much I love you?"

"Oh Chakotay, I've never doubted your love for me, not since the day you told me the legend of the Angry Warrior." she replied.

Chakotay looked down at his hands for a moment, a bit embarrassed by the memory of the romantic fabrication he'd come up with to declare his love for Kathryn in a way that felt safe to him.

"Then what are you afraid of?" he asked intensely as he looked up and into her eyes.

"So many things Chakotay, I'm afraid I won't be able to focus on the difficult job of captaining this vessel if I become involved with you. I'm afraid I'll be so happy with you in my life that I won't care if we ever reach the Alpha quadrant. I'm afraid our personal relationship will affect our professional relationship," she stopped and waited for him to argue each point with her but he didn't.

Chakotay realized from the ease with which she recited this list of reasons that they weren't the main reason. "Come on, out with it," he demanded. "There's more isn't there?"

"Yes, yes there's more," she said, tears glistening in her eyes. "I don't think I could go on if I lost you. I've been through it before and I didn't love Justin anywhere near as much as I love you. Maybe I didn't even love him at all. I think that until I met you I didn't know what love was," she said.

Although Chakotay was very touched to hear Kathryn's last remark, he knew he needed to get her to talk more about this man Justin. "Kathryn who was Justin?" he asked

"Lieutenant Justin Tighe, my first fiancé," Kathryn answered.

"You were engaged before Mark?" Chakotay asked.

"Yes, Justin and I were both assigned to the Al Batani under Owen Paris. When the Cardassians captured the admiral and me, Justin led the Rangers who freed us. We began seeing each other and soon were engaged to be married," she explained.

It tore at his heart to think Kathryn had been a hostage of the Cardassians. "What happened? I mean, why didn't you marry him?" Chakotay asked.

"My father, Justin and I were flight testing a prototype shuttle near Tau Ceti. There was a catastrophic failure and the shuttle crashed on the edge of the polar ice cap. I was in the aft of the shuttle and my father and Justin were in the front. The impact cracked the fuselage and the front of the shuttle dropped into the water. I lost consciousness for a while, when I came to and realized the situation I went to the shuttle's emergency transporter. I found that it was just barely functional. The way it was I could only get one of them out. I tried to repair it so I could get both of them out, because I couldn't make that choice. But I wasn't fast enough and they both died." Towards the end of her account of the tragedy she was crying so hard Chakotay could barely make out what she was saying.

He pulled her to him, cradling her in his lap as though she were a small child. "Oh Kathryn, I never knew you went through so much sorrow," he held her as she cried and spoke soothingly to her.

Finally, she pulled away from him a bit, so she could continue talking to him. He almost couldn't believe that even with her face streaked with tears and her eyes red and swollen she was still so heartbreakingly beautiful to him.

"When I lost my father and Justin, I sunk into a terrible depression. I would never have come out of it without my sister's help. What would happen to the crew if I lost you and sunk into another depression?" she asked.

"Do you really think losing me after we became lovers would be that much harder than losing me now?" he asked her.

"I, I don't know," she replied honestly.

"You don't know because you haven't let yourself think about it, have you?" Chakotay inquired almost accusingly.

"No, and I don't want to think about it, Chakotay! I don't want to think about losing you ever," Kathryn wailed.

"Kathryn nobody lives forever, some day you are going to lose me. The question is what do you want to have to comfort you? Do you want regrets about what we could have had to keep you company in your grief or do you want memories of what we did have?" he asked her intensely.

"Even if I agreed to have a relationship with you now, out here in the Delta quadrant, I'm not sure I can agree to our having a child while we are out here," Kathryn said.

"I know," Chakotay said softly.

Kathryn was shocked, "I, I thought you'd fight me a lot harder than that."

"Oh, Kathryn, I want us to have a child too and I can't say I like the doctor's analysis of our chances if we wait … but I'm not sure it would be fair to bring a child into this environment," Chakotay responded.

"But Naomi's all right and Tom and B'Elanna are about to have a child," Kathryn argued.

Chakotay realized he'd just used reverse psychology on Kathryn, but he hadn't done it intentionally. He really did have reservations about having a child aboard Voyager. Then his father's words from his vision quest came back to him. "If every couple waited to have a child until they thought circumstances were perfect the human race would have died out long ago," Chakotay said to himself.

"What did you say?" Kathryn asked.

"Oh just something my father said to me in a vision quest," Chakotay answered. He picked Kathryn up out of his lap and set her down on the couch, then took her hands in his and gazed into her eyes. "Kathryn, answer a few questions for me and please, just yes or no, OK?" he implored her.

"Alright," Kathryn replied uncertainly.

"Do you love me?" he asked hopefully.

"Yes," she answered simply.

"Do you want to have my child?" he looked intently into her eyes as he asked this very important question.

"I-" Kathryn began.

"Yes or No, Kathryn?" Chakotay interrupted her.

"Yes," she conceded.

He was on a roll here so he figured he might as well go for broke. He contemplated asking her to marry him but decided that might set her off and running again, so he'd settle for a kiss. He was fairly certain if he could just kiss her once she'd be his forever. A corner of his mind knew that was probably a bit cocky of him but it was just how he felt.

"May I kiss you?" Chakotay asked.

She didn't know what she had expected him to ask next, but that wasn't it. But at this moment it didn't seem like the request was out of place. "Okay," she replied, almost as shyly as a teenager.

Chakotay pulled her to him and framed her face with his hands. He kissed her softly, gently brushing his lips against hers and then, as she responded to him, he deepened the kiss, their first kiss. He tilted his head a bit and began coaxing her lips apart with his tongue. When she opened her lips for him he resisted the temptation to simply plunge his tongue in and plunder her mouth, instead he gently slid his tongue in past her teeth and began exploring the warmth and silkiness of her mouth. He removed his hands from her face and placed one behind her head and with the other pulled her body closer to his. When she ran her fingers through the hair at the back of his head he groaned. Finally they pulled apart gasping for air. "Oh Chakotay," Kathryn whispered before she pulled him back to her for another passionate kiss. Chakotay pulled his lips away from hers and began kissing her cheek, her jaw and then he moved down to her neck, to the spot he remembered marking in his dream. Just as Kathryn let out a shuddering sigh, her commbadge signaled.

"Bridge to Captain Janeway," said the voice of Tuvok.

Kathryn and Chakotay sprang away from each other so quickly that Kathryn ended up on the floor. Chakotay swore, "Damn Vulcan," and offered Kathryn a hand up. She grinned at Chakotay, tapped her commbadge and then rubbed her rump, as she said, "Janeway here, what is it Tuvok?"

"Astrometrics reports a large area of plasma storms directly ahead of us. The phenomenon is similar to but much larger than the Badlands," Tuvok reported.

"How long would it take us to go around the storm area?" Janeway asked.

"It is difficult to be precise at this time, the plasma storms are limiting our ability to scan through to clear space beyond them; however, Seven of Nine is attempting to make an estimate as we speak," Tuvok replied.

"I hate to do this at this hour of the night but I think we need to gather the troops and see what our options are. Hail the senior staff and have them meet in the conference room in 15 minutes," Janeway ordered.

"Yes captain," Tuvok acknowledged.

Janeway turned to look at Chakotay. "Now are you so sure you want to share your life with a Star Fleet Captain?" she asked him with an impish grin.

"Absolutely," Chakotay said gathering her into his arms and kissing her soundly.

"Down boy," she said as she pushed out of his arms, "we have a staff meeting to get to."

'Maybe I'll get lucky and the turbolift will jam, nah not a chance, not with my luck.' Chakotay thought as he followed Janeway out of her quarters with a grin on his face.

May 19, 2378 2300 Conference Room

Janeway surveyed the conference room. Tuvok and the Doctor were in uniform and Seven of Nine was in her normal cat suit. Everyone else, herself included, were in casual clothing having presumably just come from the party on the holodeck. Joe Carey who was filling in for B'Elanna as head of Engineering looked a bit uncomfortable so she decided to put him at ease.

"Good Evening Joe, thanks for stepping in for B'Elanna," she said. Joe nodded to her.

"Well, Seven why don't you tell us what you can about this phenomenon," the captain began.

"Very well captain," said Seven as she rose and activated a monitor at the far end of the conference room. A picture of roiling plasma storms looking like terrestrial tornadoes and hurricanes except for being vividly colored filled the screen.

"It is a roughly spherical region of intense plasma activity similar to the Badlands in the Alpha quadrant but significantly larger," Seven continued.

"How large is it?" Chakotay inquired.

"It is difficult to know for sure as it is interfering with scanners, but I estimate it is 300 light years across." Seven continued.

Tom whistled. "Wow, that's huge, it would take us months to cross through that area at Warp 6."

"Its doubtful we could maintain anywhere near that speed in a plasma storm field," Joe Carey stated.

"Yes it was difficult enough to maneuver through the Badlands at impulse," Chakotay added

"But if we skirt around it will take us nearly a year to circumnavigate," added Harry.

"Excuse me, but there is another consideration here," the Doctor said.

"Yes, Doctor," Janeway said, by way of acknowledging the EMH.

"The levels of radiation in that region are definitely hazardous to humanoid health. The shields should protect the crew for a while but a prolonged journey through that region would pose considerable risk to the crew," the doctor stated.

"Given the speeds we'd have to drop to, to get safely through the storms and the dangers of the radiation levels, its seems the long way will actually be the quicker and certainly the safer way to go," the captain concluded.

"Even the longer route may not be entirely safe," commented Tuvok.

"Yes," Chakotay interjected, "this Super-sized Badlands would make an ideal place for pirates with ships possessing improved shielding or manned by species immune to the radiation to hide in and then launch attacks on unsuspecting ships."

Once again Chakotay's superior grasp of a tactical situation had robbed Tuvok of what he, as Security Chief, was about to say. He looked slightly annoyed even for a Vulcan, which pleased Chakotay, though he certainly didn't feel he had repaid Tuvok for his interruption.

"We will need to keep at a good distance from the storm activity to assure ourselves a clear view of any approaching ships," Chakotay concluded.

"Harry has this 'Super-sized Badlands' begun interfering with communications?" the captain asked making a slight emphasis on the nickname Chakotay had coined for the phenomenon.

"Not significantly, but if we get much closer it certainly will affect long distance communications and of course our connection with the Midas Array as well," Harry responded.

"We're going to need to inform Star Fleet of this detour, we could miss both planned rendezvous points with this significant a delay," Chakotay said to the Captain.

"What rendezvous points?" Tom asked.

"I think its time we let at least the senior staff in on this, Captain," Chakotay said.

"Yes, I suppose you're right, Commander," Kathryn said. She wondered if anyone noticed how formal she and Chakotay were being, overcompensating she thought. Perhaps the senior staff would think they were angry at one another.

"Would you care to do the honors?" she said with a smile, hoping to dispel the notion that she and Chakotay might be on the outs with each other.

"Certainly Captain," Chakotay replied then stood and began slowly traversing the room as he informed the rest of the staff of Starfleet's plan.

"Star Fleet Command has redirected several deep space vessels in our direction. We are supposed to rendezvous with them in about six years. They have also sent two new deep space probes towards us at maximum warp. These probes are much larger than the normal deep space probes; think of them as high-speed freight containers. The first probe contains components that Star Fleet assures us will allow us to improve the efficiency of our engines so that we can cruise at warp 8.5 rather than warp 6."

There was a palpable excitement in the briefing room, but no one wanted to interrupt the commander.

"That probe also contains components for a cloaking device that should be compatible with our shields, so that we will be able to avoid conflicts with opponents who are 'outside our weight class', so to speak," Chakotay explained.

"What's in the second probe?" Harry Kim asked like a kid anxious to know what's in his Christmas present.

"Essential resources like dilithium crystals and vorilium, Harry. Only the probe isn't going to bring its whole load to us, as we wouldn't have enough specialized storage space for all of it. The probe will drop caches of the supplies at key locations, so we won't have to stop to trade or mine for those materials," Chakotay replied with a smile.

"This will cut years off our journey, won't it?" Tom asked.

"Yes, Tom if everything goes as planned we should be home in about ten years," the captain responded.

"Why didn't you tell us about this immediately, Captain?" Joe Carey asked.

"We didn't want to raise the crew's hopes only to dash them again," she answered.

Everyone around the conference table let that settle in.

"Should we keep this to ourselves then, captain?" Joe asked.

"Yes, I think that's for the best for now," she replied.

"How will this detour impact the rendezvous?" Harry Kim asked anxiously.

"We can contact Star Fleet command and let them know the situation. I'm sure they can have the deep space vessels send new directives to the probes so that the probes wait for us in an appropriate location," said Chakotay.

"Yes," the captain answered and then slipped into command mode, "Seven, determine the optimum distance we should maintain between us and the 'Super-sized Badlands' to maintain communications with Star Fleet and to give us a buffer zone against pirates. Send that information to the officer at Conn. Tuvok when the necessary information is available lay in a course around the 'Super-sized Badlands' and …"

"Torres to EMH," B'Elanna's strained voice interrupted the Captain's last command.

"EMH here, what is it, Lieutenant?" the doctor asked gently.

"I think the baby's coming, this doesn't feel like the other times, ahh!" B'Elanna's anguished cry of pain had Tom Paris out the door in a shot.

"Computer transfer the EMH program to sickbay," the doctor said and his mobile emitter fell to the floor of the conference room. Chakotay bent over and picked it up. He'd see that it got back to the doctor.

"Well," the captain said, "as I was saying before I was so pleasantly interrupted, once the course information is laid in Tuvok, engage. Dismissed."

"Oh and Commander Chakotay," she added before anyone had a chance to leave.

"Yes," Chakotay said.

"You might want to have a relief Conn officer on standby in case B'Elanna's labor lasts into Alpha shift," the captain added.

"I think I'll put one on even if it doesn't. Tom's bound to want to spend time with B'Elanna and the baby after the birth," Chakotay replied.

"Yes, yes he is," Kathryn said thoughtfully.

"Him and everyone else on the ship," Harry said as he started to leave the briefing room. "Hey I just thought of something, if she delivers on Gamma shift I think I win the baby pool for time!" he said gleefully.

On that note everyone left the briefing room in high spirits.

May 19, 2378 2325 Deck Three Corridor outside Kathryn's Quarters

As Chakotay and Kathryn approached her quarters he asked, "May I come in?"

"Its late Chakotay and we both have duty in the morning," she said.

"But we haven't finished our discussion," he argued.

"As I recall we had stopped talking," she said.

He ducked his head a little then looked up at her and said, "Well I thought the non-verbal communication we were engaged in was fairly significant and I don't think it was over."

"It is for tonight," she said firmly.

"Oh all right," he said giving in, "how about a goodnight kiss then?" he added hopefully.

Kathryn looked both ways in the corridor and upon seeing a passing crewmember said, "not in the corridor."

"Well, then let me in," he countered.

"All right but just for a minute," she relented.

As soon as the doors to her quarters closed behind him he descended on her lips. He backed her up into the bulkhead near the door and continued his passionate assault on her until she pushed him away. "Whoa, I said a goodnight kiss not a seduction!" she said, torn between being flattered and being angry with him.

"Sorry," he said with a grin. Kathryn had the feeling it was the most insincere thing she'd ever heard him say.

"Goodnight" she said and shoved him towards the door.

He hung onto the doorway with his hands, preventing the door from closing and said "Goodnight my love, sleep well" he called to her and then finally let the door close and went off to his own quarters.

May 19, 2378 2340

As Chakotay began undressing he decided to call Sickbay and see how B'Elanna was doing.

"Chakotay to Sickbay," he said to initiate the comm link.

"Sickbay here," the EMH responded, "what can I do for you, commander?"

"I was just wondering how B'Elanna's doing?" Chakotay asked.

"She's doing just fine," the EMH said and in the background Chakotay heard Klingon swearing and the sound of something striking the wall. "In fact at this rate I think my goddaughter should be putting in her first appearance before gamma shift is over," the EMH added.

"Do you think I should come down and offer her some support?" Chakotay asked the doctor.

"No, Commander you get a good night's sleep. Mr. Paris and I have everything under control and the new parents are going to need some of their family to be rested enough to help them care for their newborn," the EMH told him.

"Will you call me as soon as the baby is born? I'd like to come down and see her right away," Chakotay added.

"Of course, goodnight commander," the EMH said.

May 20, 2378 0545 Chakotay's Quarters

"Sickbay to Commander Chakotay," the EMH's voice woke Chakotay and it took him a moment to locate his commbadge on his nightstand.

"Chakotay here, what is it Doctor?" Chakotay asked still a bit fuzzy with sleep.

"You can come down now and greet your niece," the doctor proudly announced.

"She's OK?" Chakotay asked anxiously.

"Yes, all 2.9 Kilograms of her is perfect, from her ten little toes to her delicate cranial ridges." The EMH proudly reported.

"Tell Tom and B'Elanna I'll be right down as soon as I can be. Oh and Doc," Chakotay said.

"Yes?" the EMH replied.

"I'll bring your mobile emitter with me when I come," Chakotay said.

"Thank You Commander, I knew it would be in good hands when I left it in the conference room," the EMH responded, trying not to sound chagrinned.

Chakotay's first thought after he finished talking with the doctor was 'I have to share this news with Kathryn.'

"Chakotay to Janeway," he said as he tapped his commbadge.

"Janeway here," came the muffled response. "What do you want? And it better be good or you're a dead man," Kathryn answered.

'Spirits she sounds so sexy when she's just been woke up,' Chakotay thought.

"I thought you'd like to know B'Elanna's had her baby. I'm going to get dressed and go down and see her. Want to join me?" he asked.

"Oh," Janeway replied as she sat up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, "yes, I'd like that very much. Give me five or ten minutes to get dressed."

"I'll be there in five," Chakotay responded.

"Hey I said 5 or 10 minutes. That means I'll probably need 10," she said in a tone midway between amusement and annoyance.

"Which means it'll be a lot more fun for me if I show up in five," Chakotay said as he terminated the commlink.

Voyager's newest couple spent the next five minutes in an unwitting race to see who could dress fastest. In exactly five minutes from the time he had terminated the commlink Chakotay stood in front of Kathryn's quarters leaning on the call button.

May 20, 2378 0550 Kathryn's Quarter's

"Come in, come in already," Kathryn growled with affection as she fastened her uniform jacket.

"Damn," Chakotay said as he entered Kathryn's quarters and noticed she was dressed, "you're already dressed."

"Well, I figured after last night I'd better be," she said as she gave him a sly look. "Here make yourself useful and help me put these pips on," she requested as she handed him her captain's pips.

Chakotay tried to concentrate on getting each pip on in its proper location but he found Kathryn's proximity distracting.

"There that looks right I think," Chakotay said "Never realized how lucky I am to be wearing a Maquis rank insignia instead of pips," he added.

"Well, don't get too comfortable with it. I'm pretty sure when we get home there'll be four shiny pips and a big ship that goes with them waiting for you," Kathryn said.

"Either that or a prison cell," Chakotay countered.

"Don't say that not even as a joke," Kathryn said visibly upset.

Chakotay reached out a hand and stroked her cheek with his thumb. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. Come on let's go see Voyager's newest crewmember," he smiled, showing his dimples to her, knowing that would improve her mood.

"Yes, let's go see her, now," Kathryn said and smiled brightly.

May 20, 2378 0600 Sickbay

Chakotay and Kathryn entered Sickbay to the sounds of three adults billing and cooing to a newborn. The EMH and Tom were standing on either side of the biobed B'Elanna and her newborn daughter were occupying. B'Elanna was cradling her daughter to her. When she looked up to see Chakotay and the captain, she immediately offered the baby to Chakotay.

"Here Chakotay hold your niece, Miral Kathryn Paris-Torres," B'Elanna said.

Chakotay didn't hesitate at all and gather the baby into his large brown hands and walked a little bit a way from the biobed.

"You named her Kathryn?" the captain asked, with tears brimming in her eyes and a bit of a catch in her voice.

"Yes, I named her after the too most influential women in my life." B'Elanna replied.

While the two women talked, Chakotay carried on a very secret conversation with his niece. "Don't tell anyone I said this cause you'll get your old Tio in trouble, but I think you're the most beautiful woman on this ship. And you are definitely going to have your namesake's ability to wrap me around your little finger. You know, I think you can do your old uncle a favor here. I'm going to put you in your Aunt Kathryn's arms here in a minute and I want you to do everything in your power to get her to fall in love with the idea of having a baby, OK?" he whispered to the baby.

Just then Tom came over to Chakotay. "Hey, what sort of secrets are you telling my best girl?" Tom asked.

Chakotay looked at Tom conspiratorially and said softly, "I've just enlisted your daughter's cooperation in getting Kathryn to agree to make us one of these of our own. Watch," he said.

With that Chakotay walked over to where Kathryn was still talking to B'Elanna and held Miral out to Kathryn for her to hold. Kathryn took the baby instinctively then looked down into the beautiful face and instantly fell in love. Chakotay could see it in her face and he knew Miral had just clinched the victory for him and his unborn child, and for Kathryn too really. Because he knew in his heart of hearts that her life would be so much better when they were together.

The doctor came in and said, "All right visiting hours are over. It's time for B'Elanna and Miral to get some rest."

He looked at B'Elanna expecting an argument but she was too tired to put up a fuss. So he continued giving orders, carefully couched as suggestions as he was addressing his commanding officers, at least until he relieved them of duty, if he had to. "Why don't you two take Mr. Paris down to the mess hall for an early breakfast and then see that he gets back to his quarters and rests a bit."

Tom started to protest but the doctor interrupted, "First rule of effective parenting, when your child sleeps you should too, otherwise you'll never get any rest."

"Come on Tom, let's see if Neelix won't wrestle up something good for the new father," Chakotay said as he patted the younger man on the back.

"Are you coming, Kathryn?" Chakotay asked and turned just in time to see the doctor practically prying Miral out of Kathryn's arms. She bent and kissed the top of Miral's head and Chakotay heard a softly whispered "Bye for now precious one," from Kathryn.

"Yes," Kathryn said as she stepped between the two men and linked arms with them.

"Let's see what culinary delights we can pry out of Neelix this morning," she added.

Tom loosened her grip and went back to the biobed to give B'Elanna a kiss and found she'd already fallen a sleep worn out from the effort of childbirth.

"OK, now we can go," Tom said.

May 20, 2378 0615 Mess Hall

In the mess hall Tom was greeted with lots of handshakes and hugs and well wishes. Neelix had gone out of his way to make Tom's favorite pancakes and all in all it was a very jovial atmosphere for so early in the morning.

Harry Kim came in and joined the trio. His grin was so big Chakotay just had to ask, "So did you win the baby pool Harry?"

"Yes sir, I sure did. Biggest pot I've ever won, too," he answered gleefully.

"Yeah, well the house's share should help B'Elanna and I with whatever we need for Miral that we didn't get at the baby shower," Tom said.

Neither Tom nor Harry noticed how quiet the Captain was but Chakotay did. He realized he needed to get her out of the mess hall and somewhere more private while she was still in this pensive mood. He needed to strike while the iron was hot so to speak. He saw that Tom was nearly done with his breakfast and said, "Well Tom we better follow the Doctor's orders and get you home and tucked in bed."

"Uh, thanks big guy but I think I can tuck myself in." Tom replied as he stood to take his tray to the recycler.

"All right Tom, but at least let us walk you to your quarters." Kathryn added following Tom's example.

"OK," Tom said giving in, actually grateful for his commanding officers' concern and their company. The trio exited the mess hall and headed for Tom's quarters. After dropping him off they agreed to go back to the captain's quarters, as there was still almost an hour before alpha shift began and as Chakotay had pointed out they still had some unresolved issues to discuss.

May 20, 2378 0715 Kathryn's Quarters

After they entered Kathryn's quarters Chakotay immediately began his strategy to get Kathryn to agree to have a child as soon as the doctor said it was safe to do so. "Kathryn, tell me when you held Miral in your arms that you didn't wish she was yours." he started in on her.

"I can't. You know I can't. I want a baby, Chakotay," she almost wailed.

"Then let me give you one, Kathryn," he said. He moved to her and held her by the arms. "Let's stop putting our lives on hold, waiting for that perfectly safe moment to happen, because it never will. Let's grab what we can from life and hold on tight." Chakotay looked into her eyes and he could see her resolve weakening.

"Yes, yes alright," she capitulated.

Suddenly Chakotay found himself wanting to be very careful, he wanted it all spelled out and he wanted her to be the one to say it, so he asked, "All right to what?"

"All right, when the doctor says its safe for us to have a baby, we'll try," she said softly.

"The 'old-fashioned way'?" Chakotay asked hopefully.

"Yes," Kathryn laughed at his eagerness, "the 'old-fashioned way'."

Chakotay let out a whoop and picked her up and twirled her around. When he set her down, she said with a grin, "This does seem a bit strange though."

"What seems strange?" Chakotay inquired, a bit puzzled.

"Well here we are talking about having a baby and well we've never even talked about…" Kathryn began but Chakotay interrupted her.

"Oh Spirits, me and my stupid contrary nature. I've gone and gotten it all backwards," Chakotay said, perturbed at himself.

Suddenly Chakotay knelt down in front of Kathryn and took her hand. "Kathryn Janeway, would you do me the great honor of marrying me?" Chakotay asked.

She looked down at his expectant face and had to laugh at the absurdity of things but she said, "Yes, Chakotay, I'll marry you."

He again picked her up but this time instead of twirling her around he cradled her in his arms and began walking deliberately towards her bedroom as he covered her face with kisses. When Kathryn realized his intended destination she pulled back from him and demanded, "What do you think you're doing?"

Caught up in his thoughts about making love to Kathryn for the first time, Chakotay was taken completely off guard by her question. "Um well, …I thought… I mean … well, I thought your bed would be a better place for our first time than the floor," he finally managed to get out.

Kathryn slid out of his arms and said firmly, "No."

Chakotay's brain was pretty well frozen up and right now, he was thinking with his other head anyway, so he wasn't exactly up to being an eloquent speaker at the moment, so he simply asked, "What do you mean, No?" He was hoping she was just going to change the venue for their first time, but he had a sinking feeling she was going to postpone it instead.

"We are not about to make love for the first time, not here and certainly not now," Kathryn said with great conviction.

"But - why not?" Chakotay lamented.

"For one thing we are due on the bridge in a little while, but even if we weren't I don't want to make love until after we're married." she replied.

"What!" Chakotay roared. "Kathryn that's, that's so old-fashioned, it's Victorian."

"Maybe it is, but that's the way I need it to be," she replied softly.

Something about the way she said she needed it to be that way instead of saying she wanted it that way, set off a warning bell in Chakotay's mind. "What do you mean you need it to be that way?" he asked trying to be reasonable, even as his body warred with his mind for control of the situation.

"Chakotay, this makes the third time I've said yes to a marriage proposal, as the other two times didn't work out too well, I'd like to do things a little differently this time and see if I can break the curse. Please, Chakotay let me have this one thing my way, please," she pleaded with him.

"Don't I always?" he mumbled under his breath.

"What Chakotay?" Kathryn asked.

"Nothing Kathryn, its OK, we can wait if that's what you want, but …" Chakotay said.

"But what?" she asked earnestly.

"I want a few concessions from you," he said sulkily.

"All right what do you want?" Kathryn asked, trying to be understanding.

"I want to be able to put my arm around you in public and kiss you too, well not like I'd kiss you when we're alone, but you know what I mean," Chakotay said.

"You mean you want it to be obvious that we're a couple?" she asked.

"Yes I suppose that's what I mean," he replied.

"OK, but only off duty, all right? On duty we are still the captain and first officer," she countered.

"OK, and we get married as soon as we locate an M class planet with a compatible culture?" he continued to negotiate.

"Agreed," she smiled, then the reality of the situation sunk in. "Oh my god, I just agreed to marry my first officer!" Kathryn exclaimed.

"No, no you did not. Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay have nothing to do with this. Kathryn just agreed to marry Chakotay AND to have his baby," Chakotay said decisively.

"Yes I did, didn't I?" she said and kissed him passionately.

"Spirits, woman if you expect me to keep my side of this bargain you've got to stop kissing me like that," Chakotay said, but he didn't really seem to mind.

"Well, its time for Kathryn and Chakotay to give way to the Captain and Commander. We are due on the bridge in just a few minutes," she said.

"Okay, but just one more kiss, please?" Chakotay begged.

She couldn't deny him and was soon lost in the sweetness of another of his kisses. Suddenly he released her and said, "Wait right here, I almost forgot something." He rushed out of her quarters, the sudden loss of his body against hers and his lips on hers made her feel bereft.

In all the excitement of Miral's birth he'd almost forgotten. It was Kathryn's birthday. Now if he could just find that necklace. He'd replicated the chain and hand engraved the heart for her on New Earth, but he never gave it to her because Voyager returned. Now he could finally give it to her. There it was, in the little carved box he'd made for her. He picked it up and ran back to her quarters as quickly as he could.

"Here," he said thrusting the box into her hands, "Happy Birthday".

"Oh Chakotay," she said overwhelmed for a moment by the loving look on his face. She looked at the beautiful box, admiring all the intricate carving on it but before she could finish admiring the box he urged her to, "Go on, open it Kathryn".

She opened the box with trembling hands and extracted the necklace. "Oh Chakotay, it's so beautiful," she stopped to read the back.

For My Peace

With All My Love

Your Angry Warrior

Tears began to form in her eyes. "Please help me put it on," she requested of him.

"Are you sure you want to wear it on duty?" Chakotay asked as he fumbled with the tiny clasp.

"Oh yes, Chakotay I want to wear it always. But when on duty I will hide it," she said and slipped it beneath her turtleneck. It gave him a thrill to think she would always wear it and wear it so close to her heart.

"Come on Commander we're about to be late and I don't want that happening or I might have to rethink this relationship," she teasingly threatened.

"Uh, yes ma'am. I mean, no ma'am. Spirits Kathryn, don't scare me like that, you're rattling me," he said with a grin as they exited her quarters.

"All right, I'll behave but hurry up, would you?" she said and pulled him towards the turbolift. A passing crewmember did an acceptable imitation of Tuvok and his elevating eyebrow as she walked by her laughing commanding officers, who looked for all the world to her like a young couple in love.


	7. Chapter 7

May 20, 2378 1100 Ready Room

"Commander, Please join me in my ready room. Tuvok you have the bridge," Captain Janeway said and then stood and walked to the ready room.

"Of course, Captain," Chakotay replied and followed her to the ready room.

Chakotay wasn't sure who wanted to talk to him, Captain Janeway or his fiancée Kathryn, and he realized this was a dilemma he might face for a long time to come.

"May I ask one question before you start to talk about whatever it is you want to talk about?" Chakotay asked hesitantly.

"Yes, of course Chakotay," Kathryn replied.

"Who wants to talk to me, my Captain or my fiancée?" asked Chakotay.

"Both, but first your Captain wants to talk to you and then Kathryn does, OK?" she responded.

Chakotay nodded, assumed a parade rest posture with his hands clasped behind his back and his feet spread slightly apart. "All right, Captain, I'm listening," he said.

"In order to maintain an air of professionalism, you and your fiancée will refrain from personal interactions while on duty. Is that understood?" she asked.

"A clarification if you don't mind, Captain. What about breaks during a duty shift, for instance for a meal, are we to consider ourselves on duty then?" he inquired with a grin.

"For now I'm going to say no, but I may change my mind, if you and your fiancée should lack proper judgment about appropriate conduct for officers," she answered, barely able to keep a straight face.

"May I make a suggestion, Captain?" Chakotay asked.

"Please do," responded Kathryn.

"Let's take an early lunch break," Chakotay suggested.

"Alright," she said with an impish grin and then activated her commbadge.

"Tuvok, the commander and I are taking an early lunch, please continue to cover the bridge for the next half hour," she said.

"Certainly Captain," replied Tuvok

Chakotay closed the distance between them and kissed her. She playfully pushed him away a bit but remained in his arms.

She said, "Remember what the captain said about proper judgment about appropriate behavior."

"And just what is inappropriate about a man kissing his fiancée?" Chakotay asked.

"Well, nothing per se but we are just off from the bridge, what if someone walked in on us?" she asked mischievously.

"Computer, lock ready room doors, authorization Chakotay alpha1. There, now that won't be a problem," he said. Chakotay drew her down on the ready room couch with him. "Now what did you want to talk to me about?" he asked easily.

"Well, I was wondering if you'd thought about your upcoming conversation with your sister. Are you going to tell her about us?" Kathryn asked.

Chakotay looked at her sharply; it almost seemed to him that she was nervous.

"Yes, I've thought a lot about that conversation and yet, I'm not sure exactly what I will say but I'm sure the topic of our getting married will come up. Does that bother you?" he asked.

"No, no not really. I guess I'm just wondering whether your sister will approve of me. And I suppose I'm also concerned about how we tell everyone else about our engagement," Kathryn answered

"Well, you don't have to worry about whether Maliya approves of you are not, because I'd marry you regardless of her approval or disapproval," he didn't think Kathryn looked any more relaxed, so he added, "besides I'm sure Maliya's going to love you."

Kathryn laid her head down on his shoulder at that point and asked, "How shall we inform the crew of our decision to get married?"

"I'm not sure I know how. I know how I don't want to do it," Chakotay replied.

"How's that?" she asked.

"Well I don't want to make some ship wide announcement over the comm system or send out PADD messages to the entire crew. Nor do I want to make an announcement to the senior staff at the end of a staff meeting," he replied.

"Why not?" Kathryn asked. "All of those sound like efficient ways to handle the situation." she said.

"Kathryn," Chakotay said in a tone of voice that sounded a bit annoyed, "our engagement isn't a 'situation'. We aren't announcing a change in duty assignments or a new energy saving protocol. I don't want it to feel like what we tell them comes from the captain and first officer of Voyager. I want this to be from Kathryn and Chakotay," he concluded.

"All right, I understand your viewpoint, but how do we do that?" she asked.

"Well, I was thinking, when I talk to Maliya, Seven of Nine will overhear my conversation, so she'll find out that way. I think I'll ask her to keep it quiet until we can tell other crewmembers and I was thinking that maybe we should tell the senior staff individually and in private. Well, except Tom and B'Elanna we can tell together," Chakotay replied.

"I think that's a good idea. How about this, while you're talking to Maliya, I'll tell Tuvok about our plans?" she suggested.

Chakotay nodded vigorously to that suggestion, he'd much rather Kathryn informed Tuvok and that he be left out of that discussion.

"Then we can talk to the doctor together. And how about we ask Harry to meet us at Tom and B'Elanna's this evening and we can tell the 'Three Musketeers' together?" she added.

"OK, that sounds pretty good that just leaves Neelix. How about we tell him together and ask him to let us make an announcement on his next 'Briefing with Neelix' show?" Chakotay proposed.

"I think that's workable. What's our timetable for all this?" She asked.

"Well, the sooner we tell the doctor the better. I hate feeling like we have the sword of Damocles hanging over our heads because of Dr. Crusher's directive." He paused, and then added in a thoughtful tone, "I suppose she probably thinks we're even now."

"Even? Even over what?" Kathryn asked.

"Oh, remember I mentioned being demoted because I lied about my age on my Star Fleet Academy application?" Chakotay asked.

"Yes, I remember, it was only last night that you told me," she said in a tone of voice that said 'do you think I'm that forgetful?' "So what's that got to do with Dr. Crusher?" Kathryn asked puzzled.

"Well its sort of her fault the truth came out, well, hers and my buddies on the Gettysburg." Chakotay said.

"I think I hear a story coming on. Let me replicate us some lunch and you can tell me the whole story," Kathryn said as she got up and went to the replicator.

"What would you like?" Kathryn asked.

"A bowl of tomato soup, a cheese sandwich and an orange, oh and a glass of ice tea." Chakotay answered.

Kathryn requested two of each of the things Chakotay had requested, except she made her beverage an iced cappuccino, and then brought the tray with their lunches on it over to the coffee table in front of the couch.

"OK, tell me this story," she said, as she took a sip of soup out of her mug.

"Well, it was a long time ago, 15 and half years ago to be precise. We'd just pulled into Starbase 47 for R&R and crew rotation. I was among those being rotated out. I'd just been promoted to Commander and was being sent to Utopia Planitia to oversee completion of a Galaxy class ship. Rumor had it I'd be made XO on the ship when it launched," he said as he began to relate the story.

Kathryn watched Chakotay intently as he told his story in between taking bites of his sandwich and sips of his soup.

"Well, to make matters even better it just happened to be my birthday. So some of the officers on the Gettysburg that I'd gotten to be pretty good friends with - Pat Cochran, Orlando Delgado and Kha Nguyen took me out to celebrate. They'd found this bar that had a good supply of Romulan ale and it just so happened the bar was sponsoring this bare knuckles last man standing tournament. After I had had a few ales I was drunk enough to let them talk me into entering the stupid contest. So I stripped off my uniform jacket and got in the ring. I started fighting whoever would get in there with me. After I'd knocked out about half a dozen guys no one else would get in the ring with me, so I was declared the winner. By that time the guys realized I'd taken quite a few blows from my opponents and I was three sheets to the wind to boot, so they decided to take me to the base's infirmary." Chakotay stopped for a moment to take a drink of iced tea.

"Ah and let me guess, Dr. Crusher was the doctor on duty in the infirmary," Kathryn said.

"Yes, well anyway, she was concerned that with all that boxing that maybe I had a concussion. So she starts asking me simple questions, like 'Do you know what today is?' I said sure, it's my birthday. I don't think she believed me at first, but the guys backed me up. So she followed up with how old are you? And I asked her 'really or officially?' She asked me to explain what I meant so I told her about lying on my academy application. My buddies and Dr. Crusher were all really shocked at what I'd just said, but of course I was too drunk to immediately remember the consequences. Unfortunately for me one of the guys I beat up was still in the infirmary and he was a real sore loser. He's the one who reported it to Star Fleet headquarters," Chakotay concluded as he polished off the last of his sandwich.

"And they busted you back to lieutenant for that?" Katherine asked.

"Well, actually I lost one grade for conduct unbecoming to an officer for getting drunk and fighting and the other grade for lying on my application," Chakotay replied and then gave a small chuckle. "I've never touched Romulan ale since then."

"If you hadn't gotten set back you'd have surely made captain long before you resigned to join the Maquis," Kathryn said.

"Yeah, I suppose so. When I resigned Nimebeh was furious. I didn't know it at the time, but he was one of the people who went to bat for me and kept me from being cashiered out. When I resigned he told me that I was up for promotion to commander again at the end of the term. The brass planned to send me out for a stint as XO of a big star ship then I'd be given my own command, probably one of the new Intrepid class ships he said," Chakotay added morosely.

"Wait, are you saying if you hadn't resigned and joined the Maquis that Voyager would have been your ship?" Kathryn said incredulously.

"Yeah or one of her sister ships, at least that's what Nimebeh said. But he might have been blowing smoke just to try to keep me from resigning. Kind of ironic isn't it? I make a couple of stupid decisions in my life and the whole picture changes and sometimes not just for me," Chakotay replied gloomily.

"Well, look at it this way, if you hadn't joined the Maquis, then Tuvok wouldn't have been sent out to spy on you. I wouldn't have led Voyager out to the Badlands to retrieve him and we would probably never have even met." Kathryn said.

"I guess when you put it that way I can't regret my decisions, but there are times when I feel like it's my fault everyone is stuck out here so far from home," Chakotay confessed.

"Oh, so I'm not the only one in this family who's good at taking guilt trips," Kathryn said in a light-hearted tone.

"I love how that sounds," Chakotay said.

"How what sounds?" Kathryn asked a bit confused.

"You called us, you and me, a family," Chakotay said and then pulled Kathryn into his arms to kiss her. The kiss grew passionate and Kathryn finally pushed him away.

"Chakotay we can't do this on duty, OK?" she said.

"But we're not on duty, we're on our lunch break, see!" he held up an orange segment to emphasize his point.

"I know, but - well, I'm just not comfortable with that level of uh, well you know …" Kathryn tried to explain with little success.

"Please tell me I'm not marrying a prude," Chakotay teased.

"I'm not a prude, I promise you I'm not." she said emphatically. "I guess I just have a different set of sensibilities than you do. Kissing you so passionately when we're here in the ready room on a break from our duties just feels wrong."

"It feels wrong for you to kiss me?" Chakotay said in a tone of voice that made Kathryn realize she'd said something wrong.

"No, it feels wonderful to kiss you. I just feel like … oh I don't know, uncomfortable. Like I'm doing something at a time and place I shouldn't be," Kathryn explained.

"OK, I think I understand. Your ready room is a place we often work in, so it seems like we're mixing the personal and the professional too much. Is that it?" he asked.

"Yes, I think that's it exactly. If you'd kissed me like that in my quarters or yours or in the holodeck I'm sure it would have been OK," she replied, glad Chakotay understood.

"OK, I can see that balancing our personal and professional lives may be more difficult at certain times and in certain places, but I'm sure we'll get the hang of it," Chakotay said trying to sound confident.

"Well, I hate to say this, but I think its time I got back to the bridge. What about you?" Kathryn asked.

"I need to get to my office, I have several requests from crewmembers to talk. I think it's about the boosters but I'm not sure," Chakotay replied then rose and began taking the dishes from lunch to the recycler.

"Shall we meet in sickbay after I call my sister?" he asked.

"All right and I'll make arrangements to meet Harry at Tom and B'Elanna's this evening," Kathryn replied.

Chakotay gave Kathryn a light kiss on the cheek then turned to leave and ran straight into the door, "Damn" he said.

Behind him Kathryn laughed, and then helpfully added, "You locked the doors, remember?"

Chakotay turned to Kathryn and gave her a huge grin. "Look what you do to me, woman. Get me so mixed up I run into locked doors. Computer, unlock ready room doors, authorization Chakotay alpha1."

The doors swished open due to his still close proximity, so he exited the ready room, then turned and held the doors open by hand and said, "I will see you in sickbay at approximately 1410, captain."

May 20, 2378 1355 Astrometrics

Chakotay waited anxiously in Astrometrics for Seven to establish the communications window. Seven of Nine was nervous in the Commander's presence because of her experimentation with her human emotions, which had involved using a holographic simulation of the commander. She had chosen Commander Chakotay not only because he was an extremely handsome human male, but also because she knew her mentor Kathryn Janeway was in love with Commander Chakotay. She reasoned that any man the captain could fall in love with had to be an extraordinary individual. Although all she had  experienced was with a facsimile derived from medical scans, psychological profiles and some key bits of programming, she'd been duly impressed by the man. Now she felt herself somewhat embarrassed in his presence though she didn't know why, as he was completely unaware of her inappropriate use of the holodeck.

"Commander, do you wish me to leave after I establish the link?" Seven asked.

"Isn't the normal procedure for you to remain in case there are difficulties with the link?" Chakotay responded.

"It is, but sometimes crewmembers have requested that I step outside so they may have privacy." She replied.

Chakotay was torn, he had told Kathryn he'd let Seven know about there engagement by letting her overhear his conversation with his sister, but the communication with his sister might be difficult. His desire for privacy warred with his need for a stable communications link and the knowledge that Seven of Nine might learn something valuable about human relationships by eavesdropping on the conversation, plus the fact that he felt as though he'd promised Kathryn to give Seven their news.

"You don't need to leave," Chakotay said, "but I'd appreciate it if you didn't repeat anything you overhear unless you clear it with me first, OK?" he said.

"Yes, Commander of course." Seven replied, and then added a moment later. "The communications uplink is online commander."

"Hello Commander," said a young Lieutenant in Star Fleet Headquarters' Communications Division. "We have established a link with your sister on Trebus and are patching it through."

"Thank You, Lieutenant. Please standby to receive an upload of information," Chakotay nodded to Seven to start the upload, "about a detour that Voyager is making that will delay the rendezvous with the deep space probes. Please see to it that the information is forwarded through proper channels. We will be awaiting acknowledgement and further instructions," Chakotay said.

"Yes Commander, and here's your link to Trebus now," the young officer responded.

Suddenly the image of a simply dressed, statuesque woman of indeterminable age with the same jet-black hair, deep brown eyes and bronzed skin as Chakotay appeared on the screen in Astrometrics. She was as beautiful as Chakotay was handsome and there was no doubting the kinship between the two of them.

"Maliya" Chakotay breathed his sister's name as though it were a benediction and in return heard his name from his sister's lips in nearly the same tone, as each of them gazed upon the sibling they had at some time given up for lost.

"Oh how handsome you look with father's tattoo!" she exclaimed.

Chakotay looked down and chuckled a bit, "I've worn it so long now I'd forgotten you hadn't seen me with it," he replied.

"When did you take to wearing it?" she asked.

"When I returned home to Trebus and swore to carry on father's fight against the Cardassians," he answered, his voice full of the emotions that return visit to his ruined home had evoked.

"Oh my dear brother, how devastating it must have been for you to return and find us all gone and the planet in ruins," she said with great compassion.

Chakotay was stunned into silence for a moment. How could his sister, who had obviously been through so much, have so much compassion for him, the brother who hadn't been there to protect her?

"How can you worry about me? You're the one who was there, who went through, well I don't know what because you conveniently didn't tell me." He stopped for a moment, and then forged on. "What did happen Maliya? What happened to you and Taya all those years?"

"Do I really have to tell you, brother? Have you no imagination? Do you know nothing of our people's history? What always happens to the women who are taken captive by the enemies? Do you really want the details? Do I need to give you more reasons to hate Cardassians?" She hurled the questions at him so that it almost seemed she was angry with him and that's how he took it.

"I'm sorry Maliya," Chakotay replied. "You have every right to be angry with me. I should have been there to protect you and-"

"No," Maliya shouted at him. "I'm glad you weren't there." She paused a moment and then continued more calmly, "If you had been, I would not only have lost my father, husband and son, but my brother as well. No Chakotay, I'm glad you weren't there and I'm even glad that you got thrown across the galaxy to the Delta Quadrant, that way you weren't there with the other Maquis who were slaughtered. Fate has saved you for something my brother, I am not sure what but something."

"If you aren't angry at me for not being there to protect you, then why did you sound so angry?" Chakotay asked still puzzled.

"Because I'm tired of being asked about what happened to me at the hands of the Cardassians. Everyone thinks I should talk about it; write about it, that I should spend hour after hour talking about it with counselors. That's all such a waste of my time, dwelling on what happened. And I refuse to do it. I won't sacrifice the present agonizing over a past I can't change. If I do that, then I'm still a victim of the Cardassians. I just want to get on with my life. Can you understand that?" she asked him simply.

"Yes," Chakotay said, then he smiled.

"Why are you smiling?" she was torn between curiosity and annoyance.

"I was just thinking how similar what you said sounded to something I said once to Kathryn," Chakotay responded gently, as he thought how well his parents had taught he and his sister to live in the now.

"Kathryn, as in Kathryn Janeway, Captain of Voyager?" Maliya asked, with the tone of a sister who knew the way her brother said this woman's name was very significant.

"Yes," Chakotay replied cautiously, knowing that somehow his sister had picked up on something.  

"And what did you say to her exactly?" she asked

"That I wouldn't sacrifice the present for a future that might not come." he replied.

"Sounds like an interesting conversation." Maliya said, hoping her brother would elaborate.

"Yes," responded Chakotay. He realized now would be a good time to tell her he was marrying Kathryn, but for some reason he just didn't want to yet. He realized he wanted to wait until the last bit of the conversation to tell her and he wanted to spring it on her as a surprise. He didn't know why, but for some reason he felt like they were kids again and he had a secret he wanted to torture her with. He grinned again, Spirits this felt good!

"Well?" his sister said expectantly.

"Well what?" he replied, teasing his sister.

"Ooh, don't you do that to me. I hated it when we were kids and I still hate it," Maliya said, half-angry and half-overjoyed that she and her big brother could still bicker like little kids.

"So tell me, what does your present include, nowadays?" Chakotay said, deciding to change to safe topics.

"Mostly fighting with bureaucracies trying to get the supplies and equipment necessary to terraform Trebus and Dorvan back into planets that can support colonies," she replied.

"You're helping the ultra-traditionalists terraform their planet?" Chakotay asked incredulously. He couldn't believe the elders of Dorvan would sit still for Terraforming, nor could he believe his little sister, a dyed in the wool progressive, would try to help them.

"Yes, and believe it or not, they've been easier to deal with than our own people," she replied.

"How so?" Chakotay asked.

"All four of the main tribes on Trebus lost their leaders and three of the four have had to try to build consensus about who the new leaders should be. I'm not sure which tribe is worse, the Diné who chose but are now fighting over whether there was something wrong with their process, the Lakota who can't seem to chose or our own people who made such a stupid choice," she responded.

"Who did our people choose?" Chakotay asked, mildly curious as to who had been chosen to follow his father.

"Well, who do you think they chose, Chakotay?" she asked, sounding as though she thought him slow-witted for not knowing.

"I haven't got a clue," he replied, honestly not understanding why his sister thought he would.

"Why you, of course, Baatab," she replied, grinning when she saw the look on her brother's face as she addressed him as Baatab, which meant chief in their dialect.

"What?" he exclaimed. Then a moment later, "Oh, I get it you're teasing me. Trying to get even with me, huh?"

"No dear brother, though sometimes I do think it's the biggest joke anyone's ever played on me. Seeing as how our tribe can't effectively request anything because our leader is in another quadrant of the galaxy!" she said with just a hint of annoyance.

"Of all the ridiculous, obstinate things to do. I suppose the explanation for this must be that you and I are the only surviving progressives in the tribe?" Chakotay postulated.

"No, surprisingly, nearly even numbers of progressives and status quos survived as did traditionalists and they all voted for you too." she replied.

"Well, isn't there someone else the people were willing to accept as leader who could fill in during my absence? Surely whoever got the next most votes could be prevailed upon to accept the position?" Chakotay said hopefully.

"The vote was unanimous, brother," Maliya said.

"Wait a minute, unanimous?" he said incredulously. "You mean you went along with this lunacy?"

"Um, well at the time I didn't think through the ramifications and only thought about what a good leader you are," she replied rather sheepishly.

Chakotay let out a big sigh and then said, "I ought to just let you deal with this mess you've created, but…"

"Yes?" Maliya said hopefully.

"Send me a report on where things stand and I'll see what I can get from the Federation for you," Chakotay said.

He shook his head, he couldn't believe he'd just agreed to take over the administration of his tribe from 20,000 light years away; he must be getting soft in the head.

"Alright, if you're sure you want to do it," she replied.

"Well, I've gotten pretty good at paperwork and administrative details over the years here on Voyager. But look, you tell whatever passes for a council of elders in our misbegotten tribe that this is just a temporary thing until they can find a more reasonable solution, OK?" Chakotay added.

"OK. Oh, dear brother, we've spent over half our time already and you haven't told me how you really are," Maliya lamented.

"I'm good, really good. I know that probably sounds strange but my years on Voyager have been good for me and well the last few days have been very revealing to me," he added.

"How so?" Maliya asked.

"Well, a lot of things had happened recently that upset me; your letter for one. Then well, I learned that well, this is kind of awkward to talk about but, well…" Chakotay faltered.

"Yes?" she said, trying to get her brother to open up about what was bothering him

"Oh hell, I don't know why I'm acting so embarrassed about this with you. I learned that the contraceptive booster that Star Fleet has had its personnel on for many years adversely affects fertility over the long term. And well, I've had this dream for a long time about marrying the woman I love and having at least one child with her and I started to wonder if that could ever happen. Then I learned that Boothby died. Remember me telling you about him?" Chakotay asked distractedly.

"Yes, brother I do. I thought you said you were good, all this you're telling me sounds bad to me," Maliya said.

"Well, it started out bad, but it all is turning out very well. You see it gave my crew the opportunity to show me what I mean to them. They've all done things to show how much they care about me, like giving me this time to talk to you. I hadn't allowed myself to acknowledge how much more than my subordinates they had become to me. They are my friends and neighbors and some are even like family to me," Chakotay explained.

"Voyager is your Village then," Maliya said.

"Yes, Voyager is my Village now," Chakotay agreed.

"So, who in your new Village are you claiming as family, brother?" she asked with a smile.

"Well, the Chief Engineer, B'Elanna Torres is my other little sister and she just had a baby this morning!" said Chakotay enthusiastically.

"Oh that's wonderful! Isn't B'Elanna a Klingon name?" Maliya asked.

"Yes, B'Elanna is half Klingon," replied Chakotay.

"Well, I always wanted a sister, though I hadn't really considered a half Klingon one 20,000 light years across the galaxy from me." Maliya said.

Chakotay was relieved she'd taken that so well, "You'll love B'Elanna and her husband and daughter."

"OK, let the other shoe drop now would you, before we run out of time," Maliya said.

"Oh, all right, you know me too well. Well my biggest news is," he paused a moment, "I'm getting married," Chakotay finally said.

Maliya let out a scream of joy. "Oh Chakotay, that's wonderful. So have you and Kathryn settled on a wedding date?"

"Wait, how did you know that I'm marrying Kathryn?" Chakotay asked perplexed.

"Your voice caressed her name and your face lit up when you mentioned her," Maliya answered. "Now hurry up and tell me, when are you getting married?" she prodded.

"I don't know, whenever we come across a compatible culture on an M class planet," Chakotay answered his sister's question still a bit bemused by his sister's ability to read him and Kathryn's affect on him.

"Why do you have to wait until you find an M Class planet to get married and what do you mean by a compatible culture?" Maliya asked a bit confused.

"Well, who would you expect to marry us?" It was Chakotay's turn to put that familiar tone in his voice that only one's sibling can do so well that says, 'geesh, you're being dense.' "Only the captain of a ship is authorized to perform marriages. Kathryn can't very well conduct her own wedding ceremony. And a compatible culture would be one that at least shared the same basic concept of marriage," Chakotay explained.

"How often do you come upon M Class planets with compatible cultures, brother? I mean is this likely to be a long engagement?" Maliya asked, ignoring her brother's sarcasm.

"Spirits, I hope not!" Chakotay said fervently.

Maliya laughed at her brother's vehement response. "What's the matter, are you an impatient bridegroom?" she asked.

"Yes, very definitely!" Chakotay said.

"So how long have the two of you been engaged?" Maliya asked.

"Oh, a lttle over six hours," he replied with a laugh.

"Wait, your new little sister has a baby and you get engaged all in the same morning?" Maliya asked in disbelief.

"Yes and it's Kathryn's birthday, too. I don't know if I could have gotten her to say yes without my new niece's appearance, well that and the meddling of our kindly medical hologram," Chakotay added.

"Oh, so she played hard to get, huh?" Maliya asked teasingly.

"No, it wasn't like that. She refused to get involved with me for a variety of, what seemed to her, good reasons, including a just recently suspended protocol against fraternization," Chakotay answered defending the woman he loved. "But the bottom line was and is, we love each other and want to have a child together and we need to have that child sooner than later," he concluded.

"So, you are finally going to get started on creating a family," she said.

"Yes, after we're married and well … after the doctor says its safe for Kathryn to conceive," Chakotay replied.

"Oh, now I see why you're so anxious to get married," Maliya said with a knowing smile.

"What?" Chakotay asked distractedly.

"She won't let you in her bed until you're married, will she?" Maliya asked.

Chakotay didn't answer.

"Will she?" Maliya repeated the question.

"Maliya!" Chakotay wailed.

"Well?" she prompted.

"No, she won't!" Chakotay answered petulantly. "Happy now?"

"Well, you're in good company. I did the same thing to Pacal and mother told me she did it father too," Maliya added.

"Somehow knowing that is of absolutely no comfort." Chakotay said ruefully.

Seven of Nine said, "we'll lose the link in 30 seconds, commander."

"Well, we have to say goodbye, I'll write if you will, OK?" Chakotay promised.

"All right, write lots of details brother," she paused then said in a voice quavering with emotion, "and brother I love you and wish you and your fiancée all the best."

"I will write, I promise. Tell Taya I said Hi," Chakotay said and as his eyes filled with tears and the commlink began to deteriorate he added, " I love you, little sister. I love you very much."

The commander's tears confused Seven of Nine and her instincts said she should comfort him even though she was still in shock from the revelation that the captain had agreed to marry him.

"Commander are you all right?" she asked.

"Yes Seven, I'm fine." Chakotay's keen understanding of people made him realize that the tears on his face probably confused Seven, so he decided to exploit a "teachable moment" and expand Seven's knowledge of human emotions. "I know the tears on my face are probably confusing you, but sometimes people cry when they are happy too. Crying sometimes signals a great release of emotion. Believe me these are tears of joy."

"I see. Commander Chakotay, may I assume the information about your impending marriage to Captain Janeway is something you wish me not to discuss outside this room?" Seven asked.

"Yes, Seven I would appreciate it if you kept it a secret, at least until Kathryn and I publicly announce our engagement," Chakotay replied.

"Very well, I will comply," Seven replied, and then added with an all too rare smile, "Congratulations Commander."

"Thank you Seven. And Seven, please keep a sharp look out for M Class planets. I'd really like to marry Kathryn sooner than later." he said fervently.

"Yes Commander," Seven answered. 


	8. Chapter 8

May 20, 2378 1355 Ready Room

Kathryn had promised Chakotay that she would tell Tuvok about their plans to marry, and she had had plenty of time to do it since making that promise, but she'd been procrastinating. She'd contacted B'Elanna and told her that she and Chakotay wanted to meet with her and Tom and Harry later that afternoon or in the early evening. B'Elanna had asked that they come to the Paris' quarters about 1730. So that was all set, but she hadn't told Tuvok yet. She just wasn't sure how to go about it. Should she explain how they had arrived at the decision or simple tell him about it, and then explain if he asked questions? She wasn't sure and every scenario she played out in her head made her feel like a teenager trying to explain herself. 'Well,' she thought to herself, 'I can't put it off much longer, I'm suppose to meet Chakotay in sickbay in 15 minutes and he's bound to ask me how Tuvok took the news.'

"Janeway to Tuvok," she said to initiate a commlink.

"Tuvok here," came the Vulcan's crisp reply.

"Please join me in my ready room for a few minutes, Commander," she requested.

"Of course Captain," Tuvok replied as he closed the commlink. "Mr. Kim you have the bridge," Tuvok said, as he made his way from the command center to the doors of the ready room. As he traversed the distance he wondered what the captain wished to discuss. Perhaps she wanted to talk about security issues arising from so many members of the crew having their contraceptive boosters neutralized. There had been a few altercations but nothing serious and it was the doctor's contention that the situation would ease in another few weeks as the men's testosterone levels finally reached equilibrium. Although the doctor did warn that there could be another period of unrest when the women began experiencing the effects of neutralizing their boosters.

"Good afternoon Tuvok," Kathryn greeted her Security officer and longtime friend as the doors to her ready room parted. "May I get you something to drink, tea or spring water?"

Kathryn's offer to provide him with spring water put Tuvok on guard. She knew Vulcan traditions well enough to know that offering a visitor water could place a meeting in a much more formal light. He decided to accept the offer. Not so much because he was thirsty, though if truth were told he was slightly, but as a way of recognizing that she felt this meeting was important. "Yes, I would appreciate a glass of spring water," he replied.

Kathryn requested two spring waters from the replicator; one slightly warmer than the other as would best suit a Vulcan's taste, and brought them over to the seating area in her ready room.

"Please sit with me Tuvok there is something I'd like to tell you," Kathryn said.

"Of course, Captain," Tuvok said as he sat and took the glass of water from her hand.

"No Tuvok, I want to talk to you as your friend Kathryn not as your captain," she corrected him.

"I see," said Tuvok, "and what does my friend Kathryn want to tell me."

Tuvok believed he had suddenly put all the clues together that had been before him for the past several days, well, in truth some of the clues had been there for years, and knew what his friend was about to say. He found himself almost anxious for her to reveal her secret.

Kathryn suddenly stood and began to pace. "I'm not sure how best to go about this," she said nervously.

Tuvok felt as though he were dealing with an immature daughter and if he were to admit to having feelings he would say at this moment he was impatient with his friend. "Perhaps it would be best if you merely stated the factual information first. Any necessary explanation can come afterwards," Tuvok advised her.

Janeway came back to the sofa, sat down and said, "Yes, yes I suppose you're right." She then turned to face Tuvok more directly and fixed her blue eyes on his brown and simply stated, "I have agreed to marry Chakotay."

Tuvok had been correct this was what all the clues were pointing towards.

"Congratulations, Kathryn, may you and your betrothed have many years of contentment together," he said in a manner that was almost warm, considering it came from a Vulcan.

Kathryn was a little taken aback, she wasn't sure what she'd expected of Tuvok, but an easy acceptance wasn't it.

"Then you approve of our marriage?" she asked tentatively.

"While I do not think it is my place to approve or disapprove of my commanding officers' personal affairs, I do approve of my friend's increased happiness. I also believe this marriage will be good for this ship and her crew," Tuvok replied.

"What makes you say that?" Kathryn asked, extremely curious as to Tuvok's reasoning about his last statment.

"You and Commander Chakotay have one of the finest command relationships it has been my privilege to observe; however, there are times when the two of you have been uncomfortable in each others' presence for personal reasons. I suspect those instances will diminish markedly and that the intimacy that marriage engenders may actually improve your command relationship," Tuvok responded.

"But Tuvok, what if we carry some personal issue into our professional lives, we could endanger the crew if we damaged our professional relationship." she said suddenly playing devil's advocate because Tuvok wasn't.

"I do not believe you will do so or at least not often and certainly not when it might endanger the crew. My suspicion is that you will 'keep each other honest' but if you wish, I will also be vigilant for any such intrusion of your personal life into your professional one," Tuvok said to counter her doubts.

"Oh Tuvok, you are truly a good friend," Kathryn said her eyes bright with unshed tears.

"I would warn you though that your professional life could intrude upon your personal as well. You must guard against that too, especially when the relationship is yet new and tender. You must try to leave professional matters outside your quarters or at the least outside the bedroom." Tuvok advised.

Kathryn was a bit shocked to hear her Vulcan friend giving her marital advice so bluntly, but then again he was a married man with children and a grandchild.

"Remember you and the commander share certain qualities that are admirable in officers, such as loyalty and being conscientious about your duty, however these shared qualities and others like them can also strain a marriage. You can both carry your sense of duty too far and you tend to be too self-sacrificing. There is also the matter of your tempers. Yours is perhaps quicker than his, but his is also rather more prone to violent expression than yours. Bear in mind that all marriages have periods of disharmony and discontent," at her questioning look he added, "even Vulcan marriages. But if you remember why you wanted to marry him in the first place you will be able to ride out the storms that will inevitably come," Tuvok concluded.

"So do you think it is 'logical' that we get married?" she asked teasing her old friend a bit.

"Logical? Perhaps not, but human marriages are seldom based on logic. Were I a human, I might at this juncture ask you if you love Chakotay, but there is no need. I know you love him as he loves you; this is a truth that has been apparent to all aboard this ship for many years. And while it is true that marriages depend on more than love, for most humans it is a sufficient foundation for a marriage. I believe you and the commander do possess all the qualities that will grant you an enduring and contented union," Tuvok answered just a moment before a beep sounded at Kathryn's computer console.

"Oh that's a reminder that I must meet Chakotay in sickbay," Kathryn said as she stood up.

"There is nothing wrong with your health or the commander's is there?" Tuvok asked solicitously.

"No, we simply wanted to give the doctor our news, he was somewhat instrumental in our finally deciding to talk about and act upon our feelings," Kathryn answered.

"Indeed?" Tuvok said with his trademark raised eyebrow.

"Yes, I'll tell you all about it another time. As it is I need to go meet Chakotay before he thinks something's wrong," she replied.

"Then I will let you go and I shall return to the bridge," Tuvok said.

"Oh Tuvok, we haven't let all the senior staff in on this yet, so please wait until we've had the chance before saying anything," she requested.

"Of course Captain," Tuvok replied as he left the ready room.

Kathryn took the other exit from her ready room and caught the turbolift to sickbay.

May 20, 2378 1410 Sickbay

Just outside the sickbay she met Chakotay coming from the other direction. "So how did your call to your sister go?" she asked.

"It was wonderful, but even at 10 minutes it was way too brief and…" he trailed off.

"What?" she asked.

"I just wished I could reach through the screen and hug her," he said with a sheepish grin.

She reached over and put her arm around his waist and he put his around hers. "This might get us in trouble with the captain. We are after all still on a duty shift," Chakotay teasingly warned.

"I won't tell if you won't," she said with a laugh.

Just as they walked through the sickbay doors together she asked, "Did you tell her?"

"Tell who what?" the always-inquisitive doctor asked.

Janeway realized that the doctor's busybody attitude had given her the perfect way of introducing the topic to be discussed and so plunged ahead, saying, "I was wondering if Chakotay told his sister that we're getting married."

"The two of you are getting married?" the doctor said with obvious delight.

"Well, I guess I can delete that second directive now," he added with a huge grin.

"Yes, yes you can," Chakotay said then he turned to Kathryn, keeping the hand that was on her waist were it was and adding his other hand to the other side of her waist, he answered the question she'd ask as they had entered sickbay, "and yes, I did tell my sister. Actually I only told her I was getting married and she guessed it was you I was marrying," he told her.

"How did she do that?" Kathryn asked Chakotay.

"I too wondered that and when I asked her how she knew, she said, 'Your voice caressed her name and your face lit up when you mentioned her'," after confessing this to her Chakotay looked down at his feet and pulled on his ear, his trademark sign of feeling bashful.

"Oh Chakotay," Kathryn said and reached out a hand to caress his cheek.

The doctor suddenly realized that he was as useful to this conversation as a hairbrush and a hot lunch was to him, so he said, "Computer deactivate emergency medical hologram."

"Doctor?" Kathryn said.

"Oops looks like we ran him off," said Chakotay, "and I wanted to talk to him about something."

"What, the side effects of neutralizing the boosters?" Kathryn asked.

"Huh? Oh yes, I've had quite a few of the crew in to talk about it, and I thought I'd see what more the doctor knows." Chakotay answered, using Kathryn's supplied explanation to cover his real reason for wanting to talk to the doctor.

"So when are we suppose to inform the rest of the senior staff?" Chakotay inquired.

"Well, I talked to B'Elanna earlier today, she said she would like us to stop by about 1730 and she's inviting Harry too. I thought we could leave there and go to the mess hall and tell Neelix our news. Then we can have dinner alone in my quarters," Kathryn said the last bit in a soft whisper that was definitely seductive.

"OK," Chakotay said, a little flustered by how Kathryn's dinner invitation was affecting him. "Um, I'm going to reactivate the doctor and talk to him about the booster situation, and then I'll finish this shift in my office. I'll pick you up at your quarters about 1715 to go to Tom and B'Elanna's, OK?" he asked.

"Alright see you then, sweetheart," Kathryn said as she stood on her tiptoes to reach up and give him a kiss on his cheek. She then turned towards the doors to sickbay so gracefully that she seemed to him like a ballerina executing a perfect pirouette. Chakotay stood and stared at the sickbay doors for a few moments, lost in his thoughts of the woman who had just left.

"Computer, initiate emergency medical hologram," Chakotay ordered.

"Commander, what more can I do for you today? Oh, I suppose you want the update on the side effects of the boosters. Is that it?" the EMH asked.

"Well that's my cover story," Chakotay answered.

"Your cover story?" the EMH repeated curiously.

"Yes, I do want an update on the side effects, but what I'm really here for is some help in figuring out Kathryn's ring size. I thought that you could use the holographic image you made of her during her last physical to determine her ring size," Chakotay said hopefully.

"Of course, commander," the doctor replied enthusiastically, glad to be helping the lovebirds. He called up the captain's records and projected an image of the captain.

The doctor could see that Commander Chakotay was very pleased by what he saw. "Computer using the projected hologram, determine the ring size of Captain Janeway," the EMH requested.

"Please state which finger of which hand is desired," the computer requested more information.

"Ring finger of left hand," Chakotay specified.

"The ring finger of Captain Janeway's left hand is size 4," The computer reported.

"Great now I can replicate an engagement ring for her!" Chakotay exclaimed.

"You know commander you could use the holographic image to check out how different rings would look on her," The EMH suggested.

"That's a great idea, Doc!" Chakotay said.

After a few trials and errors (he discovered large stones looked ridiculous on Kathryn's petite finger), Chakotay settled on a flawless, white round cut 1-carat diamond in a classic gold solitaire setting. He transferred the information to the replicator in his quarters where he would replicate it later.

"OK doctor, so about the boosters update," Chakotay prompted the doctor to report.

"Oh, yes," the EMH began to report to his executive officer and the ship's unofficial ship's counselor. "Well, a couple of things, first, you can tell the men that having the symptoms is actually a good thing because no man has had a return to fertility without experiencing his fair share of the symptoms. Second, the symptoms begin to fade after a few months, however their libidos will not return to the levels they were at when they were using boosters as it has been discovered that prolonged use of the boosters causes a slow decline in a man's sex drive."

"Well, I'll be damned," Chakotay said, interrupting the EMH. "So this decline in sex drive is so subtle most men don't notice its happening, right?" he asked the doctor.

"Yes, it is very gradual. Most men have attributed it to age or other factors like stress rather than suspecting the boosters," the EMH explained.

"Huh, OK so the guys just need to hang on for a few months or so and then things should calm down a bit, but their sex drives will be greater than the were on the boosters, is that the gist of things?" Chakotay asked the EMH.

"Yes, except-" the doctor said.

"Except what?" Chakotay inquired.

"Well, about the time the men's trouble with the testosterone surges begin to subside the women who are going to recover their fertility will begin experiencing the symptoms of premenstrual syndrome. Primarily anxiety, mood swings, irritability and nervous tension along with weight gain, swelling of the extremities, breast tenderness and abdominal bloating. Some of them will also experience headache, craving for sweets especially chocolates, increased appetite, heart palpitations, dizziness or fainting, and fatigue. These symptoms only last for a short time and usually will precede the monthly menstrual period by a week or two. Also, the women who are going to have a rebound in their fertility will experience longer and more intense menstrual periods than they've been used to on the boosters with a concomitant increase in the discomfort associated with them. Unfortunately, unlike the men, these symptoms will not fade away with time for the women but instead will become a part of their monthly routine," the doctor concluded.

"Makes me glad I'm a guy," Chakotay said honestly as he started towards the sickbay doors.

"Indeed, but you are 'a guy' intimately involved with a woman, chances are you'll have the opportunity to experience her symptoms by proxy," the doctor warned.

"Thanks, I hadn't thought of that," Chakotay glumly added as he left the sickbay.

On his way back to his office, Chakotay remembered back to when Maliya began her menses, an occasion that was celebrated in his tribe. His father had joked about how now they had two women to tiptoe around twice a month. When Chakotay made the inarticulate comment 'huh?,' his father had affectionately cuffed his head and asked if he hadn't noticed that his normally sweet natured mother became a sharp tongued shrew twice a month? Chakotay didn't know what his father meant by shrew, but he did know that occasionally his mother could be uncharacteristically short-tempered or overly emotional. It made him uncomfortable when she was like that, thinking he'd have to look forward to Kathryn being that way was unsettling.

May 20, 2378 1445 Commander Chakotay's Office

Just after he reached his office and began reviewing some pads on his desk the door chime to his office sounded. He assumed it was another crewmember wanting to talk about the boosters, so he didn't bother checking who was outside his office but simply said, "Come In."

He was startled to look up and see Tuvok standing in front of his desk.

"Good afternoon Commander, may I speak with you?" Tuvok asked.

"Uh, yes of course." Chakotay answered nervously and motioned to Tuvok to take the chair opposite him.

He'd forgotten to ask Kathryn if she'd talked to Tuvok or not. On a day like today when he expected many visitors to his office he had learned to keep a carafe of coffee and a carafe of ice water on his desk so he could offer visitors a drink without having to use the replicator so often. He wondered if he should offer Tuvok some water, but the anthropologist in him warned that that could place the meeting tone at a different level that might not be appropriate. Before he could complete his pondering Tuvok interrupted his thought pattern.

"Chakotay, I ask you for a glass of water," Tuvok stated very formally.

Chakotay stared at Tuvok for a moment, wondering what was behind that inscrutable Vulcan facade.

"I offer you a glass of water, Tuvok," Chakotay said equally as formally as he poured glasses of water for both of them.

"So, you and Kathryn are to be married," Tuvok said in matter of fact way.

"Yes," Chakotay answered, trying not to sound nervous.

He wondered at this point if the Vulcan approved or did not approve. It was difficult to tell at this point, but his current aggressive nature made him decide to simply confront the situation directly.

"Do you have a problem with that, Tuvok?" Chakotay asked.

Tuvok did not answer immediately, not because he didn't have an answer, but because he was enjoying the Commander's discomfort. He would not admit that to anyone, but he was.

Finally Tuvok said, "No, Commander I have no 'problem' with your marrying Kathryn. However, I do feel it necessary to warn you that should you fail to keep your oath of marital fidelity or in any other way cause Kathryn extreme emotional duress, I would find it necessary to inflict great bodily harm upon you, at the very least I believe you would find it difficult to participate in procreative activities," Tuvok stated in his typically verbose Vulcan manner.

Chakotay sat in silence for a moment trying to translate what Tuvok had just said into common everyday Federation Standard instead of typical Vulcan obscure. Chakotay believed what Tuvok had just said was 'if he broke Kathryn's heart, Tuvok was going to bust his balls!' Once he was fairly sure of what Tuvok had said, he didn't know whether to be afraid or amused. Finally he decided on the latter and burst out laughing.

"Commander I fail to see the humor in what I have just said," Tuvok said in mock consternation.

"The hell you don't," Chakotay said continuing to laugh. Then considering the stern look on the Vulcan's face he decided he'd better pacify him a bit.

"OK, OK I swear I'll never break her heart. I love her too much to ever hurt her," Chakotay promised his voice losing its flippant edge and taking on a tender timbre as he said the last sentence.

Tuvok finally decided to let Chakotay off the hook. "Yes Commander, I know you do."

Tuvok raised his glass of water in a toast, "To you and your intended, may you enjoy a long and prosperous life together and may your union be blessed with children," he said.

"From your mouth to the ears of the Spirits, Tuvok." Chakotay said and then both men drank of their glasses of spring water. Just then the chime to his office sounded again.

"I think that must be my 1500 appointment, commander," Chakotay said to Tuvok.

"Then I should leave you to it," Tuvok said as he rose, took his glass to the recycler and then proceeded out the commander's office as Lt. Scott Rollins came in.

"Hi Scott, have a seat and help yourself to a cup of coffee or a glass of water," Chakotay said as he tried to get himself to focus for the last hour of his shift.

May 20, 2378 1605 Chakotay's Quarters

As Chakotay entered his quarters he felt as though it had been days since he'd been there last, it had been that eventful a day. After all, how many times does a man's adopted little sister have a baby, the woman he loves agree to marry him on her birthday and the sister he thought dead for nearly ten years communicate with him from 20,000 light years away. Add in his counseling sessions and top those off with his talk to the doctor and Tuvok's visit to his office and it had been quite a day. If he was honest with himself he could probably use a shower and a nap before he tackled this evening, when he'd be telling the rest of the senior staff about his and Kathryn's plans to marry and giving Kathryn her engagement ring.

'Her engagement ring!' Chakotay thought and suddenly went to the replicator to produce the ring he had decided on in the sickbay. He also programmed in a simple dark blue velvet-like box to keep the ring in. Then as he stood before the replicator and took note of the large balance of rations he had, he decided to do something he hadn't done in a long time, splurge on something for him. He decided he would get some new clothes, a Guayabera or Mexican Wedding Shirt with its trademark 4 pockets and embroidery, a pair of medium brown cotton drawstring pants with side seam pockets, matching socks and a new pair of brown leather loafers. After his clothes materialized, Chakotay decided he'd have a snack, in case the dinner Kathryn cooked proved inedible which was likely, and then take his shower and try for a short nap. Oh yes, and he'd transfer a few replicator rations to Kathryn's account in case she needed them for dinner or an addition to her wardrobe.

May 20, 2378 1605 Kathryn's Quarters

As Kathryn arrived at her quarters after the day's duty shift she wished she could go right over to Chakotay's quarters, but she realized he probably needed some time to decompress. It had, after all, been a fairly eventful day for the poor guy. Actually it had been a pretty good birthday for her. She decided to plan their dinner then take a bath and get dressed. She would serve her grandmother's vegetable biryani, a spicy South African version of the vegetarian rice entrée, along with a cucumber and tomato riata, they'd have a nice rosé wine with dinner and then tiramisu for dessert with some brandy. Satisfied with her menu, Kathryn headed for her bath.

After a luxurious bath Kathryn stood in front of her wardrobe and decided there was simply nothing in it that was appropriate for an engagement announcement get together. She headed out to the replicator to check her account and found the rations that Chakotay had transferred to her. 'That man!' she thought to herself, 'he's incorrigible and terribly sweet'. "Well" she said aloud, "as long as he's paying for them the clothes ought to be something he will enjoy seeing me in."

Kathryn then proceeded trying to decide what to replicate. She settled on a knee length black circle skirt in a Bajoran silk that had a beautiful body and drape to it and a light blue V-neck button-front T-shirt in a soft cotton knit. She decided to wear a simple pair of sandals that she had in her closet. They had a much lower heel than the boots she wore on duty, 'but maybe Chakotay would like towering over her,' she thought to herself. As she went through her underwear drawer she settled on a sexy white lace bra with a simple front clasp and matching panties. Even though she didn't plan on letting him see her bra and panties tonight, somehow having sexy under things on would make her feel more feminine. She decided to be daring and not wear a slip or any hose. Bare legs were sexier.

Kathryn probably didn't realize it at the time and even if she were peripherally aware of it she wouldn't admit it to herself, but she was setting the scene for seducing Chakotay tonight, even though she'd made him promise her only this morning that they would wait until after they were married to consummate their relationship.

She finished slipping on her sandals and just as she was dabbing her perfume on her pulse points the chime to her quarters rang. "Come in," she called out as she walked from her bedroom into the living area.

Chakotay walked into Kathryn's quarters carrying his present for Miral and stopped as he caught site of her. She was gorgeous and the top she wore showed off beautifully the heart necklace he'd given her. She too was busy looking him over, he looked incredibly handsome in the off white Mexican wedding shirt and brown slacks he was wearing. Suddenly the space between them evaporated and he was holding her and kissing her, then suddenly he stopped and looked puzzled.

"What's wrong Chakotay?" Kathryn asked.

"That's what I'm trying to figure out, something feels different," he said, still mystified.

"Oh," she said, suddenly sure she knew what it was, "I'm not wearing my boots."

Chakotay looked down and realized that was exactly what felt different. She was a good 7 or 8 cm shorter than normal. He realized maybe for the first time that she had to be a good 16 or 17 cm shorter than him. He grinned as he realized that without her 'command boots' her forehead lined up with his lips. He kissed her forehead and then said, "I think I can learn to live with this."

"Well you better, because what you see is what you get," Kathryn said.

"Promise?" Chakotay said with a smirk.

"Oh, you!" she said as she playfully hit him, and then grabbed up the afghan she'd made for Miral. "Come on lets go before we're late."

"OK," he said grabbing her hand and leading her to the turbolift.

"Deck Nine," he ordered as he pulled Kathryn into the turbolift car with him. As soon as the doors closed and he knew they were alone his lips descended on hers. She gave into his advances for a moment then pushed him away.

"Would you quit acting like a green ensign with his first crush?" she chided him.

"Computer halt lift," he ordered.

"What are you doing?" she asked. "We're going to be late."

"Ah come on give a guy a break. Can't you let me have just one little fantasy come true?" he said with an almost irresistible pout on his face.

"And just what would this fantasy be?" she asked in spite of herself.

"We're on our way somewhere and the lift stalls," he started to set the scene when she interrupted.

"You stopped the lift, it didn't stall." she corrected.

"Details, details," he countered. "I back you up into the wall of the lift," he said as he demonstrated "and start…kissing you…senseless" he finished the sentence between passionate openmouthed kisses. "And…"

"And nothing," she said as she weakly pushed him away with her hands.

"Remember the promise you made to me this morning?" she asked slightly breathless from his kisses.

"What promise?" he said, trying to feign forgetfulness.

"Don't give me that, you know what promise. The one you made right after I said I'd marry you," she said in mock anger.

"Oh you mean that superstitious, medieval pledge to forego lovemaking until we are officially husband and wife?" he asked petulantly.

"This morning it was only Victorian." she teased. "You DID mean it when you promised we could wait, didn't you?" she asked anxiously.

He looked at her and not only saw the woman he desired, the woman he loved, but also a very vulnerable woman who desperately needed him to agree to this one eccentric request.

He sighed heavily. "Yes, I meant it. But that doesn't mean I like waiting and it doesn't mean it's going to be easy for me. But I love you and if waiting is what you need, we wait," he finished with a sigh.

"Vorik to occupant's of turbolift car 2," the young Vulcan's voice sounded clearly in the car.

"Janeway here, Ensign. Is there a problem?" she asked.

"That was the question I was about to ask. Is there a malfunction that has caused the lift to be stopped between deck 5 and 6 for the last 44.7 seconds?" he asked.

"Uh, no there's no malfunction Ensign, the commander and I simply stopped the lift to have a conversation and it took longer than we realized. We will return the lift to normal operation now. Janeway out," Kathryn looked at Chakotay for an instant and the both busted out laughing. "Computer resume lift," she managed to say between giggles.

Just as the lift stopped on deck nine they stopped laughing and made the rest of the journey to Tom and B'Elanna's quarters in companionable silence.

May 20, 2378 1720 Paris-Torres Quarters

Meanwhile in the Paris-Torres quarters, Tom and B'Elanna set out some hors d'oeuvres and 5 champagne flutes on their dining room table and placed an ice bucket with a bottle of champagne in it next to the table.

"Are you sure they're coming down here to say they're getting married?" Tom asked B'Elanna.

"Yes, do I have to place a bet with you to convince you of that?" B'Elanna said testily. "Think it through flyboy, what did Chakotay say to you this morning just before he put Miral in the captain's arms?

"I've just enlisted your daughter's cooperation in getting Kathryn to agree to make us one of these of our own," Tom replied, trying to sound like Chakotay. "But that doesn't necessarily mean he's asked her to marry him."

"Oh right, Chakotay's going to ask her to have his baby but NOT marry him? I certainly hope Miral takes after me, in certain areas." B'Elanna said in a teasing tone.

Before Tom could think of a good comeback the chime to their quarters sounded. Tom moved toward the doors and called out, "Come in."

A casually dressed Harry Kim entered the Torres-Paris quarters bearing a gift, wrapped in white paper with a pink bow. B'Elanna said "Hi Star Fleet, what have you got there?"

"A present for Miral," Harry said with a smile.

"Oh, that's so sweet!" B'Elanna said as she took the present from him and took it to the table.

Behind B'Elanna's back Tom and Harry looked at each other and mouthed the words 'so sweet?' to each other, wondering what happened to the B'Elanna they knew and loved.

Noticing the five glasses on the table Harry said, "So who are we waiting for?"

Just then the door chime sounded again.

"You'll just have to wait and see," B'Elanna said.

As the command team entered Tom and B'Elanna's quarters, the three friends noticed two things; one, how happy they both seemed and two, how much they looked like a couple in love. Greetings were exchanged all around and the baby afghan and Chakotay's wrapped gift were added to Harry's.

"So where's the guest of honor?" Chakotay asked.

"She is in her Mom and Dad's bedroom, sleeping like the little angel she is," Tom answered.

"Aren't you supposed to be napping when she is?" Chakotay asked B'Elanna.

"Oh, that only applies to human mothers. Klingons are made of sterner stuff," B'Elanna replied.

"Yeah well, last I checked you were still half human," Harry interjected.

"Yeah, well a person can only nap so much, especially when her friends stop by with presents," B'Elanna said as she tried to herd everyone over to the table.

"Let's open some presents!" B'Elanna said enthusiastically.

Tom picked up the afghan and stroked it gently, "Captain this is beautiful. When did you find the time to make something like this?"

"Please Tom, when we're gathered in your quarters for something like this call me Kathryn and you too, B'Elanna, OK?" she requested and they nodded uncertainly.

"And as to the time to make it - I found crocheting the baby afghan much more productive and enjoyable than the normal ways I fill the waking hours when I'm in the grips of another bout of insomnia," she replied.

"Hey, wait a minute, I thought your main way of filling the waking hours when you're battling insomnia was to call me up," Chakotay protested.

"I only do that on the third or fourth straight sleepless night," she responded to everyone's startled looks.

To break the awkward silence she said, "So what did you guys get for Miral?"

Harry handed his present to B'Elanna and she made short work of the wrapping. When her hands encountered an isolinear chip she asked, "What's this Harry?"

"I used my clarinet to make some recordings of various lullabies," Harry responded.

"Oh Harry, that's so thoughtful I'm sure Miral will love them," B'Elanna gushed and again Tom and Harry exchanged looks that said they wondered when the woman they knew would return.

"And what about you, big guy, what did you get for Miral?" Tom asked as he started to unwrap the present Chakotay brought.

When he got the outer wrapping off, he realized the present itself was very tightly wrapped in the box. As he started to remove the wrapping he heard a distinct rattling noise.

"A baby rattle?

"Yes," Chakotay answered, just as Tom unwrapped it enough to reveal that it was much more than a baby rattle. It was a work of art, obviously handcrafted by Chakotay with loving care. Suddenly everyone was talking at once and asking to hold the beautiful hand-carved baby rattle.

While Harry and Tom and B'Elanna were otherwise occupied Chakotay pulled Kathryn close enough to him to whisper in her ear, "Someday, I'll make one like that for our baby."

Kathryn turned to look at him and, as she fought to keep the tears of joy from falling, asked him, "Shall we tell them now?"

"Tell who what now?" Harry asked, truly in the dark.

"Yes, but you tell them, I don't think they'd believe me," Chakotay answered.

Kathryn gave him a bit of a glare, but then smiled and said, "Well as long as we have this champagne here to toast Miral's birth, we may as well add something else to celebrate. Tom pour everyone a glass please," she requested. She waited for everyone to be handed a glass and then paused to see that she had everyone's attention, as she did Miral cried.

"Hold that thought," B'Elanna said, "I think Miral wants to be included in this event."

She reemerged with Miral, who quieted shortly after she was handed to her father.

"OK, I guess Miral says you can go on with your announcement," Tom said.

"Thank you, Miral. Well, this morning shortly after Miral was welcomed aboard Voyager, Chakotay asked me to marry him and I accepted," she barely managed to complete her announcement, when the gathered friends began to congratulate her and Chakotay.

She would later never be sure who said 'that's wonderful' or 'its about time' but the 'Three Musketeers' as she had dubbed them were obviously thrilled for their command team. As toasts were made to the happy couple it also became obvious to Chakotay that B'Elanna was overdoing, so he adroitly maneuvered Kathryn and Harry and himself out of the Torres-Paris family quarters.

"Well Harry, we're off to the mess hall to let Neelix in our news," Chakotay said as the three of them headed towards the turbolift.

As they entered the lift Chakotay requested deck two, then Harry said "Deck six, well once you've told him your news it will be all over the ship in no time."

"Yes, well we did make him the last of the senior staff to know on purpose." Kathryn grinned as she made that comment.

"Actually, we plan on letting Neelix tell everyone by interviewing us on his next 'Briefing with Neelix' program," Chakotay added and Harry nodded his head giving assent to the plan.

As the turbo lift stopped on deck six Harry stepped out then held the doors and said with a huge and very sincere smile, "Congratulations again, I can't think of two people who are more deserving of happiness than you two."

As the doors closed Kathryn turned to Chakotay and said, "Its so good to see that our senior staff is so happy for us and so supportive."

"Yeah, well I wasn't so sure about Tuvok at first," Chakotay said.

"What do you mean, you weren't so sure about Tuvok?" she asked truly curious.

"Well, he dropped by my office this afternoon and he said to me and I quote" at this point Chakotay did his best imitation of Tuvok both in the timbre and cadence of his voice and in his posture, "Commander I have no 'problem' with your marrying Kathryn. However, I do feel it necessary to warn you that should you fail to keep your oath of marital fidelity or in any other way cause Kathryn extreme emotional duress I would find it necessary to inflict great bodily harm upon you, at the very least I believe you would find it difficult to participate in procreative activities."

Kathryn's eyes grew large and she said with concern in her voice, "Oh my, I'm not sure I know what that means but it sounds serious."

The turbolift opened on deck two, as Chakotay responded. "It would be if he weren't just pulling my chain,"

Chakotay leaned against a bulkhead not wanting to go into the mess hall until they finished this particular conversation.

"What?" Kathryn said.

"Well, when I ran what he said through a little translation in my head, I realized what he was saying was if I broke your heart he was going to," Chakotay stopped he wasn't sure he should use the phrase 'bust my balls' with his fiancée "uh well, make me very sorry I had. After wondering for a second whether I should be worried or not, I decided not to be and I laughed at him," Chakotay said.

"Ooh, you like to live dangerously don't you?" she said with a laugh.

"Well, he put on that Vulcan façade about not knowing why I was laughing but when I said I wasn't buying that and after I assured him that I loved you too much to hurt you, he finally gave in and even drank a spring water toast to us," Chakotay replied.

"Let's see if we can manage to tell Neelix our news without getting wrangled into having to have dinner in the mess hall," Chakotay said as he began walking down the corridor.

"Oh, we won't have to," Kathryn said very determinedly.

"What makes you say that?" Chakotay asked, as they approached the mess hall.

"Because it's my birthday and the birthday girl gets to have things her way." Kathryn said as she breezed through the mess hall doors. As Chakotay followed her into the mess hall he thought that it didn't have to be her birthday for Kathryn Janeway to get her way, but he was wise enough to keep that thought to himself.

"Greetings Commander and Happy Birthday captain! What can I get you for dinner?" Neelix practically bounced with his delight at seeing the captain and Chakotay together and looking like such a handsome couple.

"How about you just get us some coffee and come and sit down with us for a minute?" She replied.

"All right," Neelix said anxiously as he headed off to the replicator. He wondered if there was some problem but the captain and commander seemed very happy. Neelix brought a tray with a carafe of coffee and three mugs to the corner table the command team preferred.

"So was there something you wanted to talk to me about?" Neelix asked.

"Yes, Neelix we were wondering if we might appear on your next Briefing with Neelix show?" Chakotay inquired.

"Well of course anytime you want to, was there something special you wanted to discuss on the show?" he asked sensing there was something more to the command duo's request.

"Well, yes there is," Kathryn said as she shared a conspiratorial grin with Chakotay, "we'd like to use your show to announce our engagement."

"Engagement? Engagement - as in you're getting married? The two of you?" Neelix said excitedly.

"Yes, yes, now calm down Neelix unless you want the big story for your show to be undermined by lots of rumors," Chakotay warned Neelix as he scanned the room to see if anyone noticed Neelix's behavior.

"Oh yes, of course. Let me see, most of tomorrow's show has already been pre-taped but I could interview you live about 0730? Do you have a preference for the interview location?" Neelix asked suddenly all business.

"Where would you suggest, Neelix?" Kathryn asked.

"Well to keep it a secret I'd suggest your quarters, that is which ever quarters you're sharing now," Neelix replied.

"We're not sharing quarters yet, Neelix," Kathryn corrected Neelix's assumption as Chakotay fidgeted in his chair, obviously uncomfortable with her comment. "Let's do the interview in my quarters, all right?" she suggested.

"That will be fine, I'll be there about 0725 to set up the holocamera." Neelix agreed as he cast a sympathetic look at Chakotay.

"Good, we'll see you then," Kathryn said as she stood and took Chakotay's hand and started for the door.

"Are you sure I can't get you something special for a birthday dinner?" Neelix said.

"No, thank you Neelix, but I'm looking forward to a quiet replicated dinner in my quarters with my fiancé," she said.

The walked in silence to the turbo lift and Chakotay remained quiet through the short lift ride, as they headed towards her quarters Kathryn stopped and asked Chakotay, "What's wrong?

"Nothing," he said with a sigh.

"Come on don't give me that. What's bothering you?" she prodded.

"May we discuss this in your quarters, please?" he almost pleaded.

"All right," she said and quickly moved to her quarters and keyed in her access code.

Once they were inside Chakotay immediately faced her and launched into an answer to Kathryn's previous question about what was bothering him.

"Did you have to tell him we aren't sharing quarters? I mean, its no one's business but our own. I'm not complaining about your wanting to wait until we are married to consummate this relationship, but most of the crew is going to assume that we are living together. It's what most of them would do under the same circumstances," he grumbled.

"Why is this bothering you so much?" Kathryn asked.

"I don't know, I guess its probably just some sort of stupid male ego thing or something. Look I'm letting you have what you need; can't you return the favor here? Can't you let us keep our living arrangements private for now?" Chakotay requested earnestly.

"Yes, yes I can do that for you. I won't out and out lie about our living arrangements, but I also won't go advertising them either. Will that keep that male ego of yours intact?" she asked teasingly.

"What makes you think its intact now?" he asked with a laugh, and then he pulled her towards him and held her as he said, "OK, now how about some food, I'm starved?"

She laughed and freed herself from his arms and headed towards her replicator, "You set the table and I'll get the food."


	9. Chapter 9

May 20, 2378 1900 Kathryn's Quarters

Chakotay began to put out the plates, silverware and napkins. He wondered whether she wanted candles and flowers on the table and whether they'd be having wine. "Honey, do you want me to put out candlesticks, a vase and wine glasses?" he asked, enjoying using a pet name for her.

"Yes, on all three, sweetheart," Kathryn answered, equally pleased with using a pet name for her fiancé.

Kathryn brought a bouquet of flowers over to the table, "The candles are in the drawer beneath the napkins," she told him.

"So, what's on the menu?" Chakotay asked as he placed the candles in the holders and lit them.

"Grandmother's vegetable biryani and a tomato and cucumber riata," she answered.

Chakotay quickly moved over to the replicator and suggested, "How about we add some paratha bread?"

"OK, that sounds like a good addition to the menu to me."

Chakotay came back to the table with a basket of bread and then helped Kathryn into her chair.

As she began dishing up the entrée Chakotay stopped her, as she was about to add more to his plate.

"That's enough," he hastily said.

"I thought you said you were starved?" Kathryn said.

Chakotay now struggled with telling her the truth and risking upsetting her, or ending up eating the overly spicy vegetable biryani for the rest of his life.

"Well, the truth is your grandmother's biryani is awfully spicy. The last time we had it, I had to visit the doctor to get some relief from the heartburn it left me with," he said with a smile he hoped would keep her from getting angry with him.

"Why didn't you say something then?" she asked as she dished some of the spicy entrée onto her own plate.

"Well, at that time I wasn't thinking about how keeping quiet about it could mean a lifetime of eating a dish that upsets my stomach," Chakotay explained.

"You know maybe you should transfer you favorite replicator files to my replicator so I can serve things I know you like and can stomach," she said with a laugh.

"And you could let me look at the recipe for this biryani and maybe I can tone it down, as it is now, Neelix might like it," he said.

"Hey," she said as she took a mock swing at him, "your insulting my dear grandmother you know."

"Uh, it's really fine," he said as he tried to reduce the heat with a mouthful of bread, followed by a large swig of wine.

"Hey is this real wine?" he asked, noting it didn't seem like synthehol.

"Yes it's a rosé from the Picard vineyards. I got it from Tom," at his raised eyebrow she added, "Well it is my birthday, you know?"

"So tell me more about your conversation with your sister. What is she doing with herself?" she requested.

"She's trying to get the equipment and supplies needed to terraform Trebus and Dorvan so they will be habitable again," he answered as he tried valiantly to down more of the biranyi.

"How is that going?" Kathryn asked around a bite of the spicy food.

"Well, not so great. She's having trouble with all the bureaucracies. Which she is blaming, at least partly, on me," Chakotay answered laughingly as he tossed down some more wine.

"Why is it your fault?" Kathryn asked as she refilled their wineglasses, surprised and a little indignant on his behalf.

"Well, all the tribal leaders were killed in the Cardassians attacks on the settlements, when the tribes regrouped recently, they tried to establish new leadership. The Diné chose some one and then argued about whether the selection process was valid, which is very like them. The Lakota, true to their nature, still haven't reached consensus and my own foolish tribe choose me as leader. So it's pretty hard for Maliya to get anything done," Chakotay said as he took another swallow of his wine, obviously torn between annoyance and amusement over the situation.

"Your tribe chose you to be leader even though you're twenty thousand light years away from them?" she said, and then laughed.

"Yes, and initially I thought it was because only the traditionalists survived," Chakotay began to explain.

"The traditionalists?" she asked as she once again filled his wineglass.

"Oh, most of the tribes have three factions; traditionalists who want to try to revert to the way things were before the white man arrived in the western hemisphere, as though they know what that was," Chakotay said almost derisively. "The status quos who want to leave things as they are and the progressives, like myself and Maliya, who would like to retain what we can of the tribe's traditions while moving forward into the 24th century," he concluded.

"So there were status quos and progressives who voted for you too?" Kathryn asked as she finished off her second glass of wine.

"They all voted for me, at least that's what Maliya says," Chakotay answered, working his way through his third glass of wine instead of eating the meal.

"What are you going to do about it?" she asked, sensing he was disturbed.

"I told Maliya that I'd try to get the Federation to help her, and that she needed to get the Council of Elders to come up with a better alternative than having a chief who is 20,000 light years away from them," Chakotay said decisively.

"What about when we return to the Alpha quadrant, will you want to live on Trebus and be chief of your tribe then?" she asked, curious as to where her life might be leading her.

"I don't know, you know I'm not that much for planning for a future that might not happen. I like to live in the here and now," Chakotay added as he finished off his third glass of wine.

"Oh come on, you're always planning for the future of Voyager's crew," she countered.

"Yes, but that's a little bit shorter term, and speaking of which, I think there's a lot of planning we need to do in the next couple of years," he said as he started to carry his dish to the recycler.

"Are you done with your plate?" he asked as he passed by her, at her nod he took her plate to the recycler, grinning as he noticed she hadn't eaten very much of the spicy dish either.

"Will you get the dessert from the replicator while I get us some brandy?" she asked him as she went to get brandy snifters and cognac.

"Geesh, champagne at Tom and B'Elanna's, wine with dinner and now brandy with dessert, are you trying to get me drunk, woman? Because if you are, you needn't bother, I'm easy," Chakotay joked.

"I thought that was eager, not easy," she bantered back.

Chakotay stood before the replicator a bit befuddled. "Hey, what am I getting for dessert here?"

"Tiramisu, it should already be programmed in," she answered, as she poured their brandies and took them to the couch.

"Oh yeah, here it is," Chakotay said, a moment later he carried two dessert bowls with spoons over to the couch.

Kathryn took one of the bowls from him and began spooning up a bit of the light rich crème and a bit of a soaked ladyfinger. She placed the spoon in her mouth and savored the mouthful, as she did, Chakotay stared at her mesmerized by the sensuous scene.

"Mmm, heaven in a spoon! Don't you agree?" Kathryn asked, not noticing that her dining companion was totally entranced, watching her mouth caress the spoon in a manner he wished she would caress him. "Chakotay?" she prompted.

"Oh, uh I haven't tried it yet," he answered, realizing he was about to be caught gaping at her.

"Why not?" she asked shocked that anyone could pass up the delicious dessert.

"Uh," Chakotay decided the truth might actually work for him, if he was gentlemanly about it. "I was taking pleasure watching you enjoy yours," he admitted.

"Oh, Chakotay," she said and playfully slapped at him, "you're so naughty."

"Now, what was that about things we should be planning for in the next couple of years?" she asked.

Chakotay decided he should focus on eating the dessert and answering her question, maybe that way, he could ignore his growing arousal. "Uhm, well I've been thinking, even with you're pointing out to the doctor and then his pointing out to the crew that we can't exactly sustain a baby boom, I think we're going to have one anyway. At least a small one."

"Really? Why do you say that?" she asked as she again savored a spoonful of dessert.

'Focus, man, focus,' Chakotay said to himself.

"Well, I've had a number of the crew in talking about having already had their boosters neutralized and how they've got a significant other on board that they'd really like to have a family with. And well, I'm not sure how long these couples are going to want to wait, especially with Tom and B'Elanna having just had a baby and our planning to have one as soon as Doc says it's OK." he answered, rather proud of himself for continuing to focus on the discussion despite all the distraction Kathryn was supplying.

"I suppose that's true, what do you propose we do about the baby boom then," she asked.

As Kathryn reached forward to put her empty dessert bowl on the coffee table, Chakotay got a glimpse of the white lace of her bra as her T-shirt's v-neck puckered a bit, and he sighed. Kathryn shot a look at him and he grinned sheepishly and offered her the rest of his dessert, both as a distraction, and as an excuse to watch her continue to caress the spoon as he wished she would caress the head of his cock, which was right now straining against the fabric of his underwear.

"Chakotay?" she prompted.

"Oh well, I think we need to do some redesigning of our living spaces. We really need to create some family quarters. Think how crowded Tom & B'Elanna are going to be as Miral grows," Chakotay said, as he picked up his brandy snifter and squirmed a bit on the couch, hoping his oversized shirt was concealing his erection.

"Yes and I suppose, if we have several young children on board at the same time, we're going to need a childcare area so the children can be adequately cared for when their parents are on duty," she said getting into the brainstorming and failing to realize how distracted her fiancé was.

"I was originally going to suggest that we combine our quarters by removing the bulkhead between our bedrooms but I can see that wouldn't be fair. Maybe we should offer your quarters to B'Elanna and Tom after we get married," she suggested.

"Uh, do we really want to live next door to Tom and B'Elanna?" Chakotay said, struggling to keep up with the conversation.

"Good point, maybe we can, if we make sure the bulkheads have new soundproofing installed," she said and they both laughed.

Finally Chakotay realized he needed for her to be as distracted as he was and he thought he knew what would work, if he could just get the ring box out of his pocket without giving away his condition.

"Uh, Kathryn I have something for you," he said as he fished in his pocket for the box.

"What, another Birthday present?" she asked, her eyes sparkling like a little child's.

"No, its not another birthday present," he said as he opened the ring box in front of her so she could see the glittering diamond ring.

"Oh, Chakotay," she said breathily, "it so beautiful."

"Like you. Go on, put it on," Chakotay gently ordered her. "I want everyone to see that ring tomorrow on Neelix's show, so they know for sure that you've promised to marry me."

Kathryn put the ring on and let out a little squeal that was very out of character for Captain Janeway but somehow seemed just right for Kathryn. She looked at the ring for a moment and then threw her arms around Chakotay and started kissing him. She didn't know how aroused he already was and her kisses nearly put him over the edge. He couldn't think straight anymore between the testosterone surges and the alcohol he'd consumed that night and just her normal effect on him.

He began to kiss her back more passionately than before and she didn't resist. Chakotay kissed Kathryn's face and then her neck. He soon found himself leaning forward on the couch and gently pushing Kathryn to lay a back against the couch with his legs astraddle hers keeping him self above her with his strong muscled arms. Chakotay's heart was pounding in his chest and he was already panting. He reached his hands beneath her very full skirt and stroked her bare legs. When he heard her moan he was lost. He had to have her, it didn't matter what he'd promised her. She wanted him; he could tell by the way she was responding to him. He looked down and saw the buttons of her top. He reasoned to himself that if she let him begin unbuttoning her shirt that she had changed her mind about waiting. He started undoing the frustratingly small buttons and kissing the flesh that was exposed as he did so. After he got the third button undone he could see that the lacy white bra she was wearing had a simple front clasp. He felt like a thief who had discovered that the crown jewels were kept in an unlocked safe. For a moment he froze with uncertainty, this was it, if she let him expose her breasts there was no turning back, he wouldn't be able to resist her. He opened the clasp and gently pushed back the lacy cups of her bra and then he could stand the waiting no more. He bent his head so as to take into his mouth the pink bud that was the nipple of her right breast. His large, brown right hand covered her milk white left breast and he massaged it. A part of him was fascinated by the contrast between their skin tones and another part was simply lost in the sensations. He heard her moans and felt her throw her head back in abandon. She was his now, he knew she was his.

Kathryn knew with each liberty she gave Chakotay she was traveling down a slippery slope and she might not be able to stop, but she had to, and she knew he would stop; he had promised he would wait. She felt herself lifted and placed more intimately against him. She could feel his erection straining against the fabric of his slacks and rubbing against her panties. If not for a few layers of fabric he would probably be embedded within her even now. She was fascinated with that thought until she felt his hands work their way up her thighs and his fingers hook into her panties. He was about to tear her panties off so he could - "NO!" she screamed and pushed away from him causing him to loose his balance and end up on the floor, striking his side on the coffee table on his way down.

"Ow-what the fuck are you doing, Kathryn?" Chakotay said as he held his side. He was obviously both angry and confused.

Kathryn was shaking and barely managed to say, "You promised we could wait."

"What?" Chakotay roared. He looked at her and realized he couldn't talk to her the way she looked, so he turned his back to her. "Cover yourself, woman. I can't have this conversation with your breasts staring me in the face," he commanded angrily.

Kathryn responded to the command tone in his voice and quickly fastened her bra and did up the buttons he'd managed to undo. "Alright, you can turn around, now," she said in a small voice.

"Spirits, woman don't you ever do that to me again. Do you hear me?" he yelled at her. "I'm a patient and tolerant man, but I'll not be played with like this."

Chakotay was pacing like a caged tiger and Kathryn could see he was still aroused as his erection tented the front of his slacks; she was truly frightened of him.

"No more teasing me Kathryn, no more dressing and acting like you want me to seduce you and then saying no at the last minute," he demanded.

"But I-" she started to protest.

"Shut up, I don't want to hear your feeble excuses. I suppose I failed your little test," Chakotay bellowed, he was so worked up in his anger that he didn't see how Kathryn was taking his tirade. She was almost visibly shrinking in on herself and the tears were streaming down her face.

"Spirits, Kathryn I'm just a man. I'm not some statue. I'm flesh and blood. And by all that's holy, a flesh and blood man has his limits," he said emphatically.

As Chakotay finished this part of his diatribe he finally noticed that Kathryn was devastated, on shaky feet she was walking towards him and trying, though not succeeding, to take off the engagement ring he'd just given her.

"What are you doing?" he asked, almost panicked.

"Trying to give you back your ring, you don't have to"- she started to explain through her tears.

"No! No, don't ever take that ring off!" Chakotay said urgently.

"But you're so angry at me, how could you want to marry me when you're so angry at me?" she asked in a lost and confused voice.

"Kathryn, I love you!" Chakotay roared at her, seeing her flinch at the volume of his declaration he backed off a bit.

"Kathryn I can be furious at your behavior and still love you, still want to marry you," he explained more gently.

"You still want to marry me, even though you think I did this awful thing to you, on purpose?" Kathryn asked, bewildered.

"Are you saying you didn't do it on purpose?" he asked, beginning to entertain the thought that this fiasco was not a case of her testing him.

"No, I swear to you I wasn't trying to test you or anything. I just got swept up in the moment and I knew I was wrong to let you take such liberties. I knew what you must have been thinking, that I had changed my mind about waiting," she tried to explain between her tears.

"OK, I believe you didn't do this on purpose. It's still very difficult for me to cope with, maybe if I wasn't battling the testosterone surges that come from hasving had the boosters neutralized and maybe if I hadn't had so much to drink tonight, I'd have been clearer headed and this wouldn't have happened," Chakotay said, now obviously a little calmer. He started towards the door to her quarters.

"Can you stay and we can talk this out for a little while?" she asked, sounding for all the world like a lost little girl.

The sound of her voice and look on her face almost melted his resolve, but he knew better. As aroused as he still was, if he took her in his arms to comfort her, he might well just take what the male animal inside of him said was rightfully his.

"No, sweetheart I can't stay tonight," he said.

When he saw the look on her face, he quickly added, "And don't think I'm not staying because I'm still angry at you or because I'm punishing you or something. I'm not staying because I'm not certain that I can control myself and well, I don't think my forcing myself on you would exactly be the best way to ensure a long and happy marriage."

He walked over and placed a very chaste kiss on her forehead. "I'll see you in the morning," he said, then turned quickly and left.

May 20, 2378 2000 Chakotay's Quarters

When he entered his quarters, Chakotay realized that the pleasant buzz he had going there for a while in Kathryn's quarters had pretty much evaporated when he'd gotten so angry and it seemed as though he might be getting a hangover early, that plus the fact that his side was killing him and the biranyi was already upsetting his stomach made him decide that as soon as the raging hard-on he had finally calmed down he'd head to sickbay.

He looked down and morosely said, "Down big chief, no pussy tonight or tomorrow night or any night soon unless somebody finds me an inhabited class M planet. And I swear to you guy, if they don't know what marriage is, I'm going to teach them, Prime Directive or no Prime Directive. Oh what the heck, Computer, perform a site to site transport from here to sickbay." Chakotay decided to brave the barbs the doctor would undoubtedly throw his way given his state and go get what ailed him tended to.

May 20, 2378 2005

"Activate the Emergency Medical Hologram" Chakotay said as he materialized in sickbay.

"No need," the doctor said as he came out of the medical lab. "What can I do for you, commander?"

"I think I could use a detox hypospray, something for an upset stomach and maybe you could check my ribs on my left side," Chakotay said as the doctor ushered him to a biobed.

"Let's see," the doctor said as he helped Chakotay up on the biobed.

He passed a medical scanner over Chakotay's left side and noted his blood alcohol level as well.

"Does the fact that your blood alcohol level is 0.1 have anything to do with your two cracked ribs? Or would one or the other be related to your obviously aroused state?" the EMH asked.

"I'd really rather not discuss it, doc," Chakotay mumbled.

He did note that the doctor's sense of humor did at least seem to be having about the same effect as a cold shower would have.

"Come now, I must know how the injury occurred for the incident report," the doctor chided.

"Oh doc, have a heart, please don't write this up," Chakotay pleaded.

"You should know as a hologram I don't have a heart, however, if you tell me exactly how this happened, perhaps I could be persuaded to omit the report," the EMH countered.

"All right," Chakotay growled when it became obvious the EMH wasn't going to treat him until he'd heard an account of how he got injured.

"I gave the engagement ring to Kathryn after dinner and – well we were kissing and things got a little – uhm passionate and then all of a sudden she put on the brakes and – well I fell off the couch and hit my side on the coffee table," Chakotay finished lamely.

The doctor did something he had never done before, he laughed in a patient's face.

"Oh commander I'm sorry, but really that's like something out of a romantic comedy. I'm curious, why did she 'put on the brakes'?" the EMH asked.

"You know doc, I'm not only pretty good at hacking into secure files, but I bet I could delete a few of your files," Chakotay threatened.

"Now really commander, considering that second directive from Dr. Crusher, don't you think I have a right to ask?" the EMH countered.

Chakotay realized he'd really made a mistake admitting that Kathryn had stopped his sexual advances because that could make it seem to the doctor as though Kathryn didn't possess 'a mature attitude towards a healthy sexual relationship between consenting adults'.

"I guess, but you're getting the wrong impression. Kathryn asked me to – ugh this is so difficult to talk about," he said, and then took a deep breath and rushed on saying, "she wants to wait to make love until we're married because she's afraid something will go wrong, as it has with her last two engagements. I know that's a pretty crazy way to think but I promised her and well its what she needs. So she's going to get what she needs even if it drives me up the freakin' walls!" Chakotay said the last sentence vehemently.

The EMH didn't know whether to be sorry for Chakotay or to laugh at him again. He had to admit the man was certainly dedicated to the woman he loved. It was unfortunate for him that the woman he was in love with was a mass of neuroses and, judging by the state of Chakotay's stomach, a lousy cook. Well, maybe marrying Chakotay and having a baby would ease some of her neuroses a bit.

"Lay back, let's get those ribs fixed," the EMH said as he turned and picked up 2 hyposprays, "this should prevent a hangover," he said as he administered the first hypospray. "And this should calm your stomach," he said as he administered the second one. "Commander, I haven't heard a word you said, and in fact, I don't even recall that you were in here this evening," the EMH promised as he ran an osteoregenerator over Chakotay's ribs.

"Thanks doc," Chakotay said, feeling 100% better than when he beamed in.

"Uh doc, Kathryn had almost as much to drink as I did, so maybe you could send her a detox hypospray?" he suggested.

"Consider it done," the EMH said.

While Chakotay visited the sickbay, Kathryn spent some time thinking about the evening, remembering how his hands and his mouth felt against her. She sat staring at the engagement ring Chakotay had given her and most of all, she thought about him. She didn't deserve him and she knew that. He was so loving and patient. No other man would have hung on this long or fought so hard. Just about the time Chakotay got back from sickbay, she lay down on her bed and began to cry. She couldn't say exactly why she was crying; she just needed to cry it all out.

May 20, 2378 2030 Chakotay's Quarter

Chakotay came into his quarters and headed towards his bathroom. He had decided he'd try to get to bed early tonight, he'd take a shower and then lie down and try to fall asleep. Not that he felt that sleep was all that likely to come easily tonight, not after the scenes in Kathryn quarters. He wasn't sure what was going to keep him up, thinking about having her in his arms or seeing how devastated she was when he got angry with her.

As he passed through his bedroom he heard Kathryn sobbing on the other side of the wall. It was the one thing that killed him about the close proximity of their quarters. He could hear her when she cried out from a nightmare or hear her sobbing in sorrow. This was too much for him to bear. He couldn't let her go on crying but he was afraid to go to her. Then he realized there was a way he could comfort her safely.

"Chakotay to Janeway," he said to open the communication. He tried to be patient knowing she might have taken her commbadge off and also knowing she'd want to get herself somewhat under control before she answered. Just before he was about to call again, she answered.

"Janeway here," she said and he could still hear the tears in her voice.

"Kathryn sweetheart, why are you crying? I can hear you through the bulkhead," Chakotay said lovingly.

"Oh Chakotay, I don't deserve you," she moaned.

"What? What sort of nonsense is that?" Chakotay asked her.

"I'm not the sort of woman you should be marrying, you need a woman who can give you what you need. Who won't be so superstitious that she can't make love to you for fear something will go wrong and we won't end up getting married," Kathryn replied still sounding teary.

"You are exactly the woman I should be marrying because I love you. And you can give me exactly what I need and what I want. I just have to be a bit more patient than I might want to be right now. You know, if I were not a little bit addled by the effects of neutralizing the boosters and had I not had more to drink than I would normally, none of this would even have been brought up. Though I'm sort of glad it did get brought up," Chakotay countered.

"Why?" Kathryn said, sounding a little less tearful and quite curious.

"For two reasons, first I needed to realize that you aren't too well acquainted with unconditional love. I plan to change that. And second, you needed to see my temper. It's not a very nice thing but it's certainly a part of me. I usually keep it in better check, especially around those I love," Chakotay said, and then wondered to himself if what he'd said was actually true.

"Oh Chakotay, when you got so angry I was terrified that you didn't love me any more," Kathryn admitted.

"Kathryn, sweetheart, I will always love you, no matter what happens. But tell me, will you stop loving me if I make you angry?" he asked, just a little unsettled by the thought.

"No, no I'll always love you. I'll never stop loving you," she declared.

"Then everything is going to be fine, my love. We just ran into a little stormy weather. I'm sure it won't be the last time it happens in our life together, but we will weather every storm as long as we both remember one simple truth; we love each other and that's all that matters," Chakotay reassured her.

"Yes, yes Chakotay, that's all that matters. Oh Chakotay, I love you so much," Kathryn said.

"And I love you, now do you think you can go to sleep?" he asked gently.

"Yes, yes I think I'm going to sleep very well tonight," she replied.

"All right, I'll see you in the morning. Sleep well my love," Chakotay said softly.

With all the things he had thought that might keep him from sleeping tonight he hadn't thought about how much the revelation that Kathryn wasn't secure about being loved would disturb him. To him it meant that someone, probably her parents or maybe her first lover, had made her feel that they would only love her if she somehow met whatever expectations they had for her. It made him angry that someone would do that to her and also a bit concerned that she might do the same thing to him or to their children.

Unbidden a memory came back to him. Their first major encounter with the Borg, he'd disagreed with her and she said she was alone. Even though he'd promised to always be with her and support her. The fact that he disagreed with her made her think that he wouldn't keep his pledge to her and that she couldn't depend on his loyalty. Well, he thought wearily 'I'll just have to make sure she learns to be secure in my love for her and the best way I can do that is to keep my promise to her. No more mistakes!' With that Chakotay punched his pillow one last time and finally settled down to a fairly restful sleep.

May 21, 2378 0625 Chakotay's Quarters

Chakotay snapped awake, someone was in his quarters; he could hear movement. He pulled the phaser he kept under his pillow out and started towards his living area, just as the doors parted he saw Kathryn setting his dining table for breakfast. She turned just in time to see him relax his grip on the phaser and point it towards the floor.

He let out a big sigh and said with irritation, "Woman, you about got yourself shot".

"You keep a phaser in your bedroom?" she asked as she let the silverware she was holding clatter to the surface of the table.

"Yes, I do," he told her, thinking he'd save telling her he kept it beneath his pillow for after they were married. "Now what on earth are you doing in my quarters at this hour of the morning," he asked.

"Making breakfast?" she replied, a bit embarrassed.

Chakotay looked down at himself, thankfully he had gone to bed in his boxers and a t-shirt, as per Star Fleet regulation, rather than in the buff as he preferred. "Uh, let me get dressed and I'll join you," he said.

Chakotay retreated into his bedroom while Kathryn poked around in his replicator trying to figure out what his favorite breakfast was. 'You'd think after all these years together on Voyager and the time we spent together on New Earth I'd know, but unlike him I never pay close enough attention to those things,' she thought to herself.

She decided his favorite breakfast must be the one cryptically marked breakfast #1, as he called it up the most. She punched in a request for two servings and wondered what she'd get. A tray materialized with two bowls of a hot cereal and two smaller bowls of berries. 'Oh yes' she thought when she saw it 'this does look like something I remember him being fond of'.

She yelled through the bedroom door. "Do you want coffee or tea for breakfast?

"Coffee" came the muffled answer. 'He must be putting on his uniform shirt' she thought.

A moment later as she was putting the cereal and fruit and coffee on the table, he emerged in a clean uniform sans his rank insignia and jacket. He took a look at the table and then went over to the storage area near the replicator and came back to the table carrying a small covered container with a handle that protruded out of an opening in the cover. "Here most everything will taste better with this," he said as he sat down.

"What is it?" she asked, mildly curious.

"Raw Honey or at least a replicated version of raw honey," he answered as he dipped some of the sticky sweet liquid out of the container and drizzled it over her portion of hot cereal and berries then loaded some more on the dipper and repeated the sweetening task on his own breakfast.

She sampled the hot cereal, "This is pretty good," she said with a note of surprise in her voice.

"Of course it is, you think I'd eat it most mornings if it wasn't?" he said with a laugh. Then he grimaced, as he tasted his morning coffee, as usual she hadn't put enough sugar or cream in his coffee to suit his taste.

"What exactly is it?" she asked, as she added some more honey and then got up and headed for the replicator.

"Its corn meal mush. What are you doing?" he asked curiously.

"I think I'll get a glass of milk to go with the cereal. You want some?" she said.

"Uh, OK I'll try it," he said, not sounding convinced that it would be an improvement.

"What do you mean try it? Haven't you ever had milk on hot cereal?" she asked, a bit incredulous.

"I don't think I have. My tribe didn't drink cow's milk as a rule," Chakotay answered.

"But you use cheese in things you cook, I know you do," she said returning to the table with two glasses of milk.

"Yes, I do. I just never got the habit of drinking milk," he said as he watched her pour milk on the cereal and the berries. He tried to follow suit and ended up with the milk dribbling down the glass. "And I apparently don't have the hang of pouring it either," he said a bit embarrassed.

"Oh I should have gotten it in a small pitcher," Kathryn said annoyed at herself for having caused Chakotay a problem.

"Mmm, I like this on the berries," he said.

"What about on the cereal?" she asked.

"Not so sure about that yet. Doesn't seem to do that much except cool it off," he shrugged, then added some of the milk to his coffee to make up for the cream Kathryn had omitted from it. He was glad to be talking about the breakfast instead of the events of last night.

"Did you tell the doctor to send me a couple of hyposprays last night?" she asked.

'Well so much for not talking about last night,' he thought.

"Yes I did. I went to sickbay before I talked to you over the comm last night. My side was hurting and the biryani and the alcohol were catching up to me. I mentioned you had had as much to drink as I had and well I suppose he figured you'd probably ate what I did too," he answered.

"Did you really get that badly hurt from hitting the coffee table?" she asked with a note of concern in her voice.

"I cracked two ribs," he answered.

"Oh Chakotay," she said and reached out to touch his face.

"Its OK, it wasn't anything the doctor couldn't fix," he said as he covered her hand with his then turned his head to kiss her palm.

"Let's finish up breakfast then have a little talk before we go over and do that interview with Neelix, OK?" Chakotay suggested.

"All right," she answered and they both quietly made quick work of the last of their breakfasts, then after recycling their dishes, they sat on his couch.

"What did you want to talk about?" she asked, obviously a little nervous about this conversation.

Chakotay took her hands in his and said, "I just wanted to make sure you're OK after last night and to reassure you that I really do love you and want to marry you. And I meant what I said about being OK about our waiting to make love. Last night was my fault-"

"No, no it was mine," she interrupted him. "I should have stopped you far sooner, I just got caught up in the moment and -"

"OK," Chakotay took his turn to interrupt her. "Let's just agree we both had a hand in what happened last night and promise not to let it happen again. All right?" he asked.

"All right," she agreed.

"Just so we're clear on this, not so much real alcohol in one evening and you rein me in a little sooner, OK?" he said with a smile.

"OK," she replied.

He toyed with the ring on her finger. "And don't ever try to give this back, OK? It's really, really important to me that you always wear it. It's a visible sign of your promise to marry me and have my child," he explained.

"Oh Chakotay," she said and then slipped into his arms to kiss him tenderly.

They held on to each other for a quite a while, just soaking in how good it felt to be able to hold one another.

"Computer what time is it?" Chakotay asked.

"The time is 0720," the computer intoned.

"We'd better get over to your quarters, Neelix will be there soon," he said as he helped her up from the couch.

"All right, let's go," she said, never letting go of his hand.

"Oh, I better take my uniform jacket and insignia."

"OK, but lets not wear our jackets, as you said let's let this be from Kathryn and Chakotay," she said.

May 21, 2378 0721 Kathryn's Quarters

Shortly after they arrived in her quarters, Neelix showed up with his holocamera and a camera operator, none other than the doctor himself. Neelix and the doctor explained that they thought this was so important an interview that it would really be better with a live (well sentient at least) camera operator. They decided to do the interview on her couch with Neelix setting to the couple's left as the camera looked at them and with the captain in the middle. As soon as the doctor indicated he had the camera set up properly Neelix used a remote to cut into the taped portion of his broadcast and looked into the camera to talk to his audience.

"Good Morning Voyagers, I'm cutting into the pre-taped portion of A Briefing with Neelix to bring you a live interview with none other than our own command team. Seems they have something to tell us all," Neelix said as he shifted so that he was looking at Kathryn and Chakotay. "Good Morning Captain Janeway, Commander Chakotay. Now I understand you wanted to make a little announcement. Is that right?" he asked.

"Well, yes, but actually the announcement isn't from the captain and commander, its from Kathryn and Chakotay," Chakotay answered for the couple. "You tell them, Kathryn," he requested.

"Well, yesterday wasn't just my birthday. It was the best day of my life," she said starting to explain.

"Why do you say that, Kathryn?" Neelix asked, emphasizing her name.

"Because yesterday the man I love," Kathryn cast a look at Chakotay, and he looked down and grinned shyly, "asked me to become his wife and before he could change his mind I said yes!" she said happily.

"Like I would ever change my mind about wanting you to be my wife," Chakotay added quickly.

"Well, Congratulations to the both of you. So when's the big day?" Neelix asked.

"As soon as we find an inhabited M class planet with a planetary official willing to marry us," Kathryn answered.

"I will be eternally grateful to the person who spots such a planet!" Chakotay said with a grin.

"So tell me, I'm sure my audience is dying to know. What brought this about?" Neelix inquired. "I mean this entire crew has known for years how much you love each other, but we had all just about given up on the two of you getting together, at least while we're here in the Delta quadrant," he observed.

Kathryn looked at Chakotay and he nodded. Kathryn knew he was thinking about how Voyager's crew were more than their subordinates they were their friends and family. "I think the credit has to go to the newest member of Voyager, Miral Paris. When I held her in my arms I knew I wanted a baby," she looked at Chakotay again and he took her right hand in his right hand. "Not just any baby, Chakotay's baby," she said earnestly.

"When I saw that look in her eyes, I knew we had a chance. Of course being a contrary I naturally asked her to have my baby before I asked her to marry me," Chakotay said. Everyone laughed at that. "But I figure the order of the proposals isn't quite as important as the events," he concluded.

"You're right about that sweetheart," she said as she reached out her left hand to touch his chest.

"Is that an engagement ring I see there on your hand?" Neelix asked when he saw the sparkle of the diamond on her left hand.

"Yes, Chakotay gave it to me yesterday evening," she replied. "And I will always wear it," she added as a promise to Chakotay.

"Well there you have it Voyagers, our very own command team are preparing to become a team in their personal lives as well. And now back to the pre-taped material of A Briefing with Neelix," with that Neelix cut the transmission link to allow the pre-taped show to continue and the doctor put down the camera.

"Well, I think that went very well," the doctor said. Suddenly the group heard a series of beeps from the captain's desk console.

"Sounds like you're getting a lot of messages," Neelix observed.

Kathryn went over to her console and turned down the volume then opened the intraship communication program on her computer. She already had nearly 50 messages in her inbox. Considering a third of the crew were on duty and another third were probably asleep that meant nearly every member of the crew that was awake and off duty had seen the broadcast and were now sending her comments on the broadcast. Some messages had subject lines like Congratulations or Its About Time, those with more cryptic subjects or none at all she opened and they were all positive. She was moved to tears. Chakotay moved to her side and took her in his arms gently.

"Are you all right, sweetheart?" he asked with concern.

"Oh yes, Chakotay!" she said as she wiped her eyes. "These are happy tears. Tears of joy, the crew support us!" she said as though she were amazed.

"Well of course they do, they've been pulling for us to get together for years," Chakotay told her.

"Yes I suppose so, I guess I just thought there'd be someone who would object," she said.

"Like who?" Chakotay challenged her.

"I don't know, the female population of the ship?" she said, only half jokingly.

"Nah, they'd just as soon 'Property of Kathryn Janeway' was written somewhere on me besides my heart," he answered with a big dimpled smile.

"Might have to get you another tattoo, huh?" she smiled brilliantly at him as she teased him.

Ignoring her last remark, he leaned over her shoulder and looked at the chronometer on the computer screen and said, "We'd better get ready for bridge duty."

"Uh yes, and Neelix and I should be getting back to our duty stations as well," remarked the doctor, once again realizing how much of a fifth wheel he was at moments like this.

May 21, 2378 0735

Meanwhile in the mess hall crewmembers that had come in to catch a bite of breakfast before alpha shift we're slapping each other on the back and whooping and hollering as though their favorite team just won the world cup or the Parisi Square tournament.

"Well another one bites the dust," Tabor Los said as things quieted down a little.

"What do you mean by that?" Noah Lessing asked.

"You know, Chakotay, he's given up his carefree bachelor days," said Tabor.

"And you think that's a bad thing, huh Los?" asked Joe Carey.

"Well I don't know, I mean now he not only has to answer to the captain on duty, but off. I mean think about it, you'll call him up to see if he can play Poker or fill out a Parisi Square team and he'll have to say 'wait a second I have to check with the wife'," Los replied.

"Yeah, well there are some decided benefits to being married," Mike Ayala said as he joined the conversation. "Wouldn't you say, Joe?" Mike asked the other man in the room with marital experience.

"Oh yeah, you gain a lot more than you loose, Tabor," Joe replied.

"Such as?" Tabor demanded.

"Well if my memory serves me, mind you it's been 6 years and 7 months, but the sex was fantastic," Joe said with a grin.

"Oh come on, the same woman every time?" Tabor countered.

"Yep, you know what they say 'practice makes perfect'," Mike added.

"And as I recall I didn't have to work too hard to get it either," Joe added, clearly enjoying bantering with the younger man.

"Yeah well, its not like a guy like Chakotay would have to work too hard to get it now, if he'd just give the gals a second glance, that is," Tabor said with just a hint of jealousy.

"As interesting as this conversation is gentlemen, I believe most of you are due on duty," Harry Kim told the assembled group, and then added, "And this might not be the most appropriate place for a discussion of your commanding officers' sex lives."

The assembled crewmembers scattered like chicken in front of a farm wife with a broom, amid a flurry of 'yes sirs', and 'right you are sirs'.

May 21, 2378 1230

Later the couple in question came down to the mess hall for lunch, both to save on their replicator rations and to spend some time among the crew. Their lunch break stretched on a little longer than normal as they spent time visiting with various crewmembers, accepting congratulations from everyone they saw. Just as they were about to leave Samantha and Naomi Wildman entered.

"Chakotay sit back down, lets stay a moment and chat with Naomi and Samantha," Kathryn said.

"All right milady, your wish is my command," Chakotay said, playing at being gallant.

As soon as Samantha had their lunches on a tray Naomi asked permission to go over to the captain and commander and as soon as her mother nodded her head she came skipping over to their table. "Congratulations Captain and Commander, I'm very happy for you," Naomi said in her very best grown up voice.

"Well, thank you Naomi," Kathryn answered.

"Captain, when you and the commander get married," Naomi said, then paused.

"Yes Naomi, when Chakotay and I get married?" Kathryn prompted.

"Can I be in your wedding?" Naomi asked quickly.

"Naomi!" Samantha said, in a scolding tone.

"Oh Sam, that's all right," Kathryn said and gathered the young half-Katarian girl to her side.

"You know Naomi, Chakotay and I haven't been engaged very long and so we haven't discussed what kind of wedding ceremony we will have, plus we don't know what sort of rules the people on the planet we will get married on will have about weddings," she said. Kathryn looked at Chakotay and he gave her a slight nod and she continued. "But if there's a way, we will have you in our wedding, all right?" Kathryn promised the girl.

"Oh yes, thank you," Naomi said as she nodded excitedly.

"Naomi it looks like the captain and commander were nearly done with their lunch when we dropped by, we should really let them get back to the bridge," Samantha said.

"Yes, no rest for the wicked," Chakotay joked.

"Chakotay behave!" Kathryn said as she took a kidding swipe at him and then got up to recycle her tray.

"See you later Sam, Naomi," she said.

Chakotay shot one of his heart melting grins at Naomi and Sam and waved goodbye. He and Kathryn then left the mess hall and entered the nearest turbolift to head up one deck to the bridge.

"Bridge" Kathryn called out to the computer. The lift started then suddenly stopped.

"What the -?" Kathryn asked.

Chakotay laughed and said, "What do you want to make a bet that this is an 'engagement present' from the staff in engineering?"

"Oh it better not be something like that, Janeway to Engineering," she said, a bit annoyed.

"Vorik here Captain, what may I do for you?" the young Vulcan answered.

"The turbolift is stuck between deck two and the bridge," the captain reported.

"Yes Captain, internal sensors show a minor problem in the relays, we should have it fixed in 5 minutes," Vorik replied.

"Thank you, lieutenant," Kathryn said and closed the commlink too soon to hear the junior officers in engineering congratulating each other and Vorik for their little maneuver.

"Well, as long as we're stuck here for five minutes," Chakotay said as he stalked Kathryn, trapping her against the back wall of the turbolift.

"Chakotay beha-" Kathryn's plea for Chakotay to behave was cut off as his lips descended on hers. He was thrilled, with only 5 minutes he wasn't going to be tempted to do much more than kiss her, so he could enjoy her without worrying about crossing the line and breaking his promise. At least that's how he figured it at first. Then Vorik's 5-minute estimate turned into 10 and then 15 minutes and things were taking a decidedly passionate turn.

"Chakotay, Chakotay?" Kathryn tried to break him out of the passion-induced haze he seemed to be in.

"Yes, my love," he finally managed to say as he stopped trying to figure out how to get her out of her uniform.

"Do I need to ask for you to be beamed out of here?" she asked with a hint of a warning tone in her voice.

Her words finally sunk in and Chakotay backed off and took a deep breath. "No, I'm OK. See? I can handle these situations when there's no alcohol involved. You just need to remind me, that's all," he reassured her.

"OK, but I'm giving engineering another call," she said emphatically and he nodded his agreement.

Moments later the command team emerged on the bridge. It was a good thing there wasn't a mirror on the bridge or the command team might have died of embarrassment as both of them had mussed hair and neither one's uniform was exactly ship shape. As it was Kathryn blushed when she looked at Chakotay, and she was very relieved when just a minute after they entered the bridge Chakotay announced he was going to his office for an appointment. A few moments later Kathryn left the bridge to Tuvok and retreated to the ready room.

May 21, 2378 1255 Commander Chakotay's Office

"Chakotay to Vorik," Chakotay said as he entered his office.

"Vorik here, sir," the young engineer answered.

"Vorik, don't ever do that again or so help me I'll offer you up as a sacrificial virgin to whatever Goddess the Delaney twins worship!" Chakotay threatened mirthfully.

"Glad to have been of service, Commander," Vorik, the 'not your standard issue Vulcan', replied.

Chakotay was still chuckling when Kathryn contacted him over the comm system.

"Chakotay, have you had a look in a mirror yet?" Kathryn asked.

"Uh, no why?" he asked perplexed.

"Just go look," she suggested.

When he looked in the mirror in the bathroom off his office he noticed what she was talking about, not only was his hair a wreck, his face was covered with her lipstick.

"Oh for crying out loud, it's the 24th century, can't they make lipstick that doesn't come off on a guy when he's kissing his woman," Chakotay complained.

"Yes they can, I just don't like wearing it because it's hard to take off. However I think I now have a reason to wear it. Oh and Chakotay," she said, waiting to get his attention.

"Yes Kathryn," he replied.

"When we are on a break from a duty shift and you kiss me, please try not to mess my hair up so much," she said with a laugh.

"What a picture we must have made when we entered the bridge," he commented.

"Yes, our bridge staff should get a commendation for restraining themselves," she noted.

"Well, our engineering crew should probably be in restraints, so I guess that balances out," Chakotay returned.

"Sweetheart, I was," - Chakotay started

"Sweetheart? Chakotay we are on duty," she teased him.

"Oh Kathryn, give me a break here," Chakotay pleaded.

"Okay what were you going to say?" she relented.

"I was thinking about the subject that came up in the mess hall about our wedding ceremony. Maybe we should discuss it?" he ventured.

"All right, tonight over dinner, 1900, OK?" she responded.

"OK, but my replicator files not yours," he countered.

"All right and your quarters, that way when you misbehave I can just walk out on you," she said.

"Ooh, you wound me, woman. You're probably right, but still," he replied.

Just then his door chimed. "I have to go honey, there's someone at my door," he said.

"All right, but you stop that," she chided.

"Stop what?" Chakotay asked, feigning innocence.

"All the honey and sweetheart stuff, I mean I like it, but not on duty, OK?" she asked.

His door chime rang again. "OK, I'll try to remember," he said.

He knew he was lying to her, he intended to call her honey and sweetheart every chance he got, even on duty, at least when they were alone, just like he used to call her Kathryn whenever they were alone, he'd do it, if only just to tease her.

"I've really got to go now," he said as he closed the commline.

"Come in," Chakotay said.

As Ken Dalby entered his office Chakotay apologized, "Sorry to keep you waiting Ken, I was talking to the captain."

"Were you talking to the captain or Kathryn?" Ken asked slyly, noting the smile on Chakotay's face.

"Your good Ken, your good. It was more a conversation with my fiancée than my commanding officer," Chakotay truthfully replied.

"So what brings you here? More trouble with the boosters?" Chakotay asked.

"No not really, I mean it's still a damn nuisance what with my temper being so short. I mean I've never exactly been known as a cool headed guy to begin with. And the libido things a little embarrassing at times, but Sue doesn't seem to mind, as long as I don't let my eyes wander too much. Actually, Sue is the reason I came down to talk to you," Dalby said.

"That's Sue Jenkins?" Chakotay asked just to be sure he had good information from the rumor mill.

"Yeah, we've been seeing each other on the QT for a couple of years now. She's the reason I quit the boosters. I– I love her Chakotay, and I do want to marry her, it's just– I don't know, now with you and the captain getting engaged, it's like, I'm really feeling the pressure to propose, but I don't know, I– I guess that's the point, I don't know why I'm hung up here. I want to marry her and have kids with her, I just–I don't know, suddenly I've got cold feet. And I know my indecision is hurting her. And that's the last thing I want to do," Ken finally got the problem all out for Chakotay to examine.

Chakotay had known Ken a long time and he thought he had a clue as to the man's reluctance. In some ways Ken's problem mirrored Kathryn's. Chakotay decided it was probably best with a man like Ken to confront the issue head on.

"Do you think it could have something to do with Beth?" Chakotay asked. Beth was the woman Ken had loved, whom the Cardassians murdered.

"What?" Ken asked, caught off guard by Chakotay's question.

"Well, you loved a woman before and she was taken away from you in a very abrupt and brutal fashion. Maybe you're afraid to get hurt like that again," Chakotay suggested.

Ken just sat still for a moment, obviously thinking about what Chakotay had just said.

"Maybe you're right, maybe that is why I'm hesitant. I never want to feel that much pain again in my life," Ken said in a soft voice.

This conversation was bringing back the one Chakotay had had with Kathryn about her first fiancé Justin, and remembering how hurt she was by it was making this difficult for Chakotay, but he needed to help Ken see his way past this.

"Ken, do you love Sue?" Chakotay asked Ken simply.

"With all my heart," Ken answered very surely.

"What if something happened today? What if the pirates we suspect lurk in that "Super Badlands" come after us and Sue is killed during battle? Would it hurt any less because you weren't married to her?" Chakotay asked, feeling as though he were being brutal to his old acquaintance.

Ken was stunned for a second but then answered in a strained voice. "No, no it might even hurt more. Knowing I could have made her happy by marrying her and I didn't because I was afraid of getting hurt," he admitted.

"Ken, we all have to face loosing the people we love. No one is promised tomorrow, so the best you can do is live today to its fullest. Grab all the joy you can and hold on tight," Chakotay told the other man fervently.

'Tell me something Chief, were you just born wise or something?" Ken asked with a small laugh.

"What makes you think I'm wise? It took me 6 and half years to get the woman I love to agree to marry me," Chakotay said and paused wondering whether it wouldn't help him and maybe help Ken to let him in on his little secret. He quickly decided to gamble that it would.

"And then I let her talk me into promising to wait," he added.

"Wait for what, Chakotay?" Ken asked perplexed.

"Well let's just say I'm having a lot more trouble with the increase in libido than you are," Chakotay answered a bit cryptically.

It took a moment for Ken to process what Chakotay had said, once he had he said in disbelief, "You're kidding, aren't you?"

"No, I wish I was, but no. I promised we'd wait until after we're married," Chakotay answered a bit dejected.

"Oh man, I don't know whether to be sorry for you or laugh at you. Good grief Chief, you sure can pick 'em," Ken said and shook his head.

"Hey remember the rules here, what's said in here stays in here, OK?" Chakotay said and his eyes pleaded with Ken to understand.

"OK, Big Guy no problem," Ken said putting Chakotay at ease.

"I don't even know why I told you," Chakotay said a bit confused by his own motivations.

"Maybe because you wanted at least one other person to know the hell you're going through and I just happened to wander into your office at the right time," Ken ventured.

"Yeah, I guess so," Chakotay replied.

"You must really love her to make a crazy promise like that," Ken concluded.

"Yeah, well I thought everybody knew that a long time ago," Chakotay said morosely.

"Well, you had gotten better about hiding it this last couple of years. Man, there was a time, when everyone was afraid to bump into you for fear they might knock your heart off your sleeve," Ken teased Chakotay.

"Don't remind me," Chakotay said.

"Look, you mind if I ask you something? I mean as long as you've been so open with me here," Ken asked.

"OK ask, but I don't guarantee I'll answer," Chakotay replied.

"Why does she want you guys to wait?" Ken asked.

"She's superstitious. She's been engaged twice before, the first guy she was engaged to died in an accident that only she survived, then the second guy gave her up for dead and married someone else when we got thrown out here in the Delta quadrant. So she thinks maybe if she does things differently this time around that maybe, just maybe she'll finally end up married," Chakotay explained.

"Well, it doesn't seem rational but I know people sometimes get that way about things," Ken said accepting the explanation. "You're a hell of a guy to put up with her being like that," he added.

"Nah, I'm no hero, I'm just besotted with her," Chakotay said as he laughed at himself.

"Yeah, I'm tempted to call you pussy-whipped but I guess under the circumstances the term doesn't really fit," Ken teased.

"Ah, get out of here and don't come back until you're engaged too," Chakotay growled in a light-hearted way.

"We'll probably want you to be in the wedding, you know stand up for me as my best man or give the bride away or something," Ken added just before he headed out the doors and Chakotay nodded.

Chakotay let out a big sigh; it had helped a little to tell Ken about his dilemma. Maybe he should share it with a few more of his male friends, it wouldn't make it any easier to stand but at least he could go bitch about it to someone when it was driving him crazy. Of course he'd also have to put up with a lot of ribbing if he did. Ken's pussy-whipped comment came back to him and he thought to himself, 'Man, if I'm this bad now, what will I be like when she has that weapon in her arsenal.' He shook his head ruefully and picked up a padd, maybe work would help.

May 21, 2378 1605 Kathryn's Quarters

Kathryn was almost sorry her duty shift was over. She had three long hours before dinner with Chakotay and she wasn't sure what to do with herself. Of course she could read some reports but surprisingly even with all that was going on in her personal life she wasn't really falling behind in her everyday "paperwork". There was the option of taking a long bath but that would still leave her with a lot of time on her hands or she could go to the holodecks but there wasn't an opening at this hour, unless she wanted to go to the new bar program Harry had dreamed up and enjoy 'happy hour', but that just didn't appeal to her. She wished she had a girlfriend she could call up and chat with about her engagement. 'Hey' she thought to herself, 'I'll write my sister, I can upload the letter in tomorrow's data stream'. She moved over to her desk and picked up a padd then decided she'd grab a cup of coffee and get comfy on her couch to write her sister.

Dear Lil Sis,

You better sit down; I've got big news. I'm getting married. OK, OK I know you've heard that before but I'm really hoping third times the charm. So I know you are wondering whom I'm marrying, especially being a Star Fleet brat you know protocol says I shouldn't fraternize with anyone under my command. Well, I've always tried to live by that, but Voyager is a long way from home and well, very recently that protocol was suspended for our vessel, which allows me to marry the man I love. I can almost hear you screaming at me 'so who is he?' He is my first officer, Commander Chakotay.

Oh Phoebe, I love him so much, I really wonder if I ever loved before I met him. He's so different from any man I've ever been involved with before. He's handsome and intelligent and charming, he's one of the most accomplished soldiers you can imagine and yet he's a true pacifist, he's even a vegetarian, yet his favorite sport is boxing! He's a gifted anthropologist and a very spiritual man, an explorer with a poet's heart. I'll try to send I current picture of him with this letter, if I can get enough space in the upload and then you will see how incredibly handsome he is and maybe the picture will capture some of his essence. In case you haven't figured it out from his name, he's Native American. Chakotay was born and raised on Trebus, his father Kolopak was the leader of his tribe. Chakotay says he's what his people call a contrary. He does tend to think and do things uniquely and even his friends call his sense of humor twisted. But he's the most loyal and honorable man I've ever known.

Chakotay left his tribe when he was 15 to go to Star Fleet Academy. Yes I said 15. He lied about his age and didn't get caught until something like 7 years after he graduated the academy. He'd just been promoted to Commander then got busted back to lieutenant! He made it back to Lt. Commander and was teaching Advance Tactics at the academy when he resigned after the Cardassians attacked Trebus. He went to the DMZ and joined the Maquis, becoming the infamous Jaguar.

I suppose Mom might have a hard time warming up to Chakotay because he is sort of the reason I'm out here in the Delta Quadrant. I was out in the Badlands to retrieve Tuvok who had infiltrated the Jaguar's Maquis cell. I had orders to capture Chakotay when the Caretaker swept Voyager and his Maquis ship here. Chakotay sacrificed his ship to save Voyager and as both of us lost crew in the transport to the Delta Quadrant we combined the crews, and then I made him my first officer. For the last 6 and a half years he's been my right hand. He is my friend and confidant and sometimes he is my conscience too.

After we had been out here a couple of years, we visited an uninhabited M class planet where both of us were bitten by an insect. We became very ill but discovered as long as we stayed on the planet we were all right. Our doctor couldn't find a cure that would allow us to leave the protective atmosphere of the planet, so we were left behind.

Oh it wasn't bad, we had shelter, a replicator and a shuttle and I had research equipment. I was determined I could find a cure. While I tried to do that, Chakotay made us a home. He can make almost anything out of wood with just his two hands and some simple tools. Very early on I complained about there only being a sonic shower and no bathtub, so he made me a bathtub! Did you get that Phoebe? He made me a bathtub with his own two hands and the native wood of the planet!

One day, after we'd been on New Earth (That's what we decided to call the planet) for about a month, a plasma storm destroyed my research equipment and I had to face that I was stuck there for the rest of my life, or so I thought. Up until then I'd kept Chakotay at arm's length, but I couldn't deny the attraction, I felt it the first time I met him and only resisted it because of our positions on Voyager. I'm a bit ashamed to admit this, but even my engagement to Mark wasn't enough to have kept me away from Chakotay. Really what kept me from him was my dedication to get the crew home and my guilt about stranding them here in the first place. That and somehow I felt as though father was looking over my shoulder all the time reminding me of that damn anti-fraternization protocol.

Once I realized my research couldn't go forward, I too started helping build a home for the two of us. I even planted a tomato garden! The attraction between us was too strong to ignore but I was so afraid, not afraid that he'd hurt me in anyway, but that I'd be shattered if I let myself love him and then lost him. I guess I don't have to tell you why I felt that way. I tried to establish parameters but Chakotay wouldn't let me. Oh he didn't rant and rave at me, he simply told me a story. He claimed it was an ancient legend among his people. This is the story he told me.

_It's about an angry warrior who lived his life in conflict with the rest of his tribe, a man who couldn't find peace, even with the help of his spirit guide. For years, he struggled with his discontent_._ But the only satisfaction he ever got came when he was in battle. This made him a hero among his tribe, but the warrior still longed for peace within himself._

_One day he and his war party were captured by a neighboring tribe led by a woman warrior. She called on him to join her because her _tribe was too small and weak to defend itself from all its enemies.

_The woman warrior was brave and beautiful and very wise. The angry warrior swore to himself that he would stay by her side, doing whatever he could to make her burden lighter. From that point on, her needs would come first. And in that way, the warrior began to know the true meaning of peace._

When Chakotay finished I asked him if it was really an ancient legend and he admitted that it wasn't, but said it made it easier for him to say. From that moment on I have been in love with him, although I never told him that in words until a few days ago. He understands me so well and is so patient. He never pushed for our relationship to go beyond what it was, he was content to let it slowly unfold, unfortunately before it could, Voyager came back and brought us a cure they had gotten from a race of organ thieves I had forbidden the crew to contact. They needed Chakotay and I back with them as Captain and First Officer, that's why they disobeyed me. So Chakotay and I had to put aside what could have been and take back our old roles. My role is easy, I'm the captain; his role is so much more complex. He's the one they all turn to; he is a father to the youngest of the crew, a big brother to others, counselor to nearly all of them, role model, hero, friend, intercessor, he seems to be whatever anyone needs him to be.

It was so hard to give up what was starting to grow between us, you can not imagine the number of nights I have cried myself to sleep knowing the man I loved was just on the other side of the bulkhead. And oh I've hurt him time and time again over the years by keeping him at arms lengths and also by sometimes letting him get just a little closer, then pushing him away again. I didn't do that to be cruel; I just couldn't always cope with the decisions I made.

I had begun to think he might not love me anymore, but something happened to prompt both of us to go to our ship's doctor, our EMH, that made it clear to me he still did. I suppose maybe you've heard about the contraceptive boosters problem? Well, in addition to that Chakotay and I had become aware of something our crew still doesn't know about, except the senior staff, that is. Phoebe this is 'need to know' info, OK? Don't spread it around; Voyager may get back in ten years. Both Chakotay and I hoped that when we got back we could marry and have at least one child. Mind you, we didn't talk to each other about this dream; we just both had it. Anyway we both went to our EMH separately and asked him to help us have a chance to make that dream come true, and boy did Doc run with the ball. He realized even without the boosters meddling I might not have ten years to wait to get pregnant, the Delta quadrant hasn't exactly been friendly to me. Our Doctor took actions that got the anti-fraternization protocols rescinded and got us put under orders from Star Fleet Medical to talk about our feelings. I don't think that's what he intended to happen when he asked for a second medical opinion and a psychological opinion, but all's well that ends well and I'm going to be sending thank you notes to Counselor Deanna Troi and Dr. Beverly Crusher for their parts in this.

Actually it took more than rescinding a protocol and ordering us to talk to bend my stiff neck. Well, you know me. What it really took to get us together was the birth of another child on Voyager, Miral Torres-Paris, daughter of my Chief Engineer B'Elanna Torres and my chief pilot Tom Paris (yes that Tom Paris). Phoebe, I may be a Star Fleet captain but I'm also a woman. When I held that beautiful baby I couldn't deny things anymore. I want a husband and a child. I want Chakotay and I want to have his baby. Even if I couldn't have a baby with him, I'd be happy just to be his wife. I hope he feels the same way, but I'm scared he doesn't. Oh Phoebe, I love him so much and I really want to give him what he wants and needs. I'm afraid if I can't have a child then he may leave me for a woman who can. I can't dwell on that now. I won't. I just have to believe things will be OK.

In some ways we are already off to a bumpy start and of course its all my fault. As soon as I accepted his marriage proposal, he was ready to sweep me off my feet and into bed. I said no way, not until we are married. He called that idea Victorian. OK it is, but if you'd been engaged three times and never married you might be a bit irrational too. He's been willing to go along with it because he understands why I need to do things this way (I told him about Justin and he already knew about Mark). Last night when he gave me my engagement ring, I really screwed up. I sort of let things get out of hand (well, we'd both had a lot to drink, too) and then I stopped things pretty late. To use the old baseball terminology he was between third base and home when I basically called the game over. He got very angry because he felt like I was testing him or playing the tease. And of course I panicked and overreacted, sure he didn't love me anymore and wouldn't want to marry me.

Honestly Sis, it amazes me. I can captain a starship, face down the meanest bad guys in any quadrant, but put me in a personal relationship and I'm a freaking idiot. But my man is incredible, he just takes all the garbage I dole out and makes it OK somehow. I really do not deserve him but now that I've got him, I'm going to hold on tight and never let anybody or anything take him away from me ever.

Well this is getting to be pretty long and if I expect to sneak a picture in this too then I'd better sign off. Please share this letter with Mom (in a judicious way, OK Phebes?).

Love ya,

Big Sis

Kathryn put the padd down and then started to scan her personal database and then the Voyager general database for a good picture of Chakotay. By the time she'd found the one she wanted, she decided it was time for that long bath before her date with Chakotay. As she thought about her beloved Chakotay she had a sudden impulse to do something special for him. She hoped the doctor was in a mood to help her just a little more.

May 21, 2378 1610 Chakotay's Quarters

Chakotay decide that to kill some time before his dinner date with Kathryn he would work on the turning the shells and semi-precious stones he'd received at his "half-birthday' party into heishi. It was a labor-intensive process; in the old days raw materials were sliced into strips and cut into small squares with nippers. A dentist's drill was used to make a small hole in each square, which was then strung on fine wire and nipped again, cutting the squares into rough circles that were then ground into the desired shape. The final beads were smoothed with fine grades of sandpaper. The heishi was then washed in clear water, dried in the sun and polished to a high shine. Chakotay would replicate some modern tools like the ones his mother used that would help him make some phases of the work easier but it would still be a long arduous process, but it would be worth it to see Kathryn wearing a heishi necklace he had handcrafted for her.

He was also considering making a fetish necklace for her. He thought he might need to fast and pray before making the different fetishes so he would know what stones to carve and which animals to use. He wanted the necklace to be a symbol of their union and the dreams they held for their future together. It would be very important to choose the right animals to bring them good fortune. For now he would satisfy himself with sorting the materials he had and making the initial slices and cuts.

He had been working for a while and when his neck and shoulders and lower back began to scream at him he asked the computer for the time, it was 1547. He decided he better convert his work area back to a dining room table and put away what he was working on, then grab a shower and start fixing the place up for his date with Kathryn. Unfortunately the sonic shower he took did little to ease the aches in his muscles. He would have taken a hot water shower but he was beginning to feel a bit guilty about his water consumption of late. He hoped his little aches and pains didn't put a damper on the evening.

Chakotay prepared the dining room table for dinner with Kathryn, he covered the table with a linen table cloth, put out his best dishes, glassware and silverware, and then added candles to his candlestick holders, which made him think of the ones he planned to carve for Kathryn out of one of the pieces of wood he'd received as a present.

He decided to replicate some roses; he was having a hard time deciding between traditional red roses or a single peace rose like the one he'd given her before their midnight sail on Lake George. He checked the data base on the language of roses and got even more tangled up in the decision when he found that presenting someone with a single rose meant 'I still love you' and that the color of rose he had given her indicated modesty. 'Well that's what you get when you try to be romantic with out doing the research first.' He thought to himself with a chuckle. Of course he doubted his little scientist had a clue as to the significance of the color, but he knew she liked it. As to the number of roses signifying things well that sort of stumped him. He really wanted to convince her of his unconditional love but 50 roses - that bordered on the inane stunt Q pulled! Finally he decided on a white and red rose tied together as the colors together signified unity and binding two roses together represented engagement or marriage.

He asked the computer for the time and realized all the dithering about the roses was causing him to run late; it was nearly time for Kathryn to arrive. He ran to his bedroom and opened his closet trying to decide what to wear. Finally he pulled out the shirt and pants he'd been wearing on New Earth when he told her the Angry Warrior legend. He wondered if she'd remember. He decided to go barefoot as he wasn't going to need his feet protected in his quarters, besides there was something rather intimate about being barefoot while dining with Kathryn. Just as he finished dressing his door chime sounded.

He went to the replicator to start the request for dinner and as he did he called out "Come in".

When he walked away from the replicator with their entrée in his hands and caught sight of Kathryn, he almost dropped the dish. She was incredibly beautiful tonight. She was wearing a simple knee length blue dress in a soft knit and she had her hair back in a ponytail like she used to wear it on New Earth. He was absolutely stunned, her hair had to be a good 30 centimeters longer than the last time he had seen her.

"Here I think you better let me help you with that before you spill our dinner on the carpet," Kathryn said as she reached out to take the serving dish and potholders from him. She was amused and thrilled at the same time that her surprise had been well received.

When he finally found his voice again he asked, "Kathryn what did you do to your hair?"

"I had the doctor help me out by stimulating the hair follicles to grow at an accelerated rate. Do you like it?" she asked as she put the entrée down on the dining room table.

"Like it? I love it," he said enthusiastically as he picked her up, kissed her and ran his fingers through her ponytail.

"So what's for dinner?" she asked.

"Pasta primavera and garlic bread, except I forgot the bread, just a second," he said as he returned to the replicator "What would you like to drink? And remember our promise about alcohol," Chakotay asked as he stood in front of the replicator.

"Uh, how about iced tea?" she requested.

"You got it," Chakotay answered and returned to the table with a basket of garlic bread and a pitcher of iced tea.

She looked at the table and said, "This is beautiful. I suppose the two roses tied together is symbolic of something?"

"Yes," he replied with a smile. "I did some research it represents an engagement or marriage and the colors represent unity," he informed her.

"How appropriate, especially since you said you wanted us to discuss our wedding ceremony. So tell me about a traditional wedding in your tribe," she requested as they sat down.

Chakotay stalled by taking a bit of food. "Well," he finally said, "you have to remember when I was a kid, living in my village, I didn't pay much attention to the traditions of my people. I was always so contrary about things. Remember how you said there were things you'd much rather be doing than the things your parents thought were important, like camping and gardening? Well I was the same way." He shook his head and smiled at the memory of his younger self. "I was such a know-it-all, smart-assed kid. I have no idea how my father put up with me. There I was the chief's son and I was the most disrespectful, mischievous kid in the whole village. I do remember once my father told me he hoped I grew up to have a child who was just like me, I'm absolutely sure that was a curse," Chakotay said with a smile.

"Well, there must have been a few things you did that your father and mother were proud of," Kathryn suggested.

"Yeah, I suppose so. I was a good athlete and I was a better student than most of my classmates, in fact I finished school early. That's how I was able to lie so easily about my age on my application to the academy. I mean, I had a certificate to prove I'd finished a college prep high school curriculum with honors, so they didn't think to question me anymore about my age," Chakotay responded.

"But didn't you need a birth certificate?" she asked as she toyed with her pasta.

"Sure but that was generated by the planetary computer and I'd been hacking into that computer since I was ten. It was very easy to change the date. I mean its only one digit on a file. Of course it was also very easy to detect as a forgery because I never thought to change the file creation date. And if they'd just gotten a little curious they'd have noticed that the file indicated I was born two years before my parents were married. Not something that would normally happen in my tribe," Chakotay answered.

"OK, back to the topic we are suppose to be discussing, what's a traditional wedding in your tribe like?" she asked determined not to let him get sidetracked again.

"Well, let me think back to my sister's wedding. As I was in that one maybe I can remember some of it. Well, the bride and groom both wear simple clothes usually in white with just a few touches of color, maybe a brightly colored sash for her and a vest for him. They both go barefoot. Maliya wore a simple off white cotton dress that reached to just above her ankles and she had flowers in her hair, and she had heishi necklaces that had been made for her by my mother and by Pacal's mother, her future mother-in-law. She also wore a fetish necklace that Pacal made for her. Spirits she was beautiful," he said fondly.

"How was your brother-in-law dressed?" Kathryn asked.

"He wore white pants and a white Guayabera shirt," Chakotay said.

"A Guayabera shirt?" Kathryn said puzzled.

"Like the shirt I had on last night," Chakotay explained.

"What about the ceremony itself? What do you remember?" she prodded.

"There was an altar with flowers forming a sort of double arch, that arch spanned from the four corners of the alter and there were offerings on top of the arch. Four candles were lit on the arch. There were also four candles - one red, one black, one white and one yellow that were lit on the four corners of the altar and one candle, a blue-green one stood in the altar's center." Chakotay said, it was evident he was trying hard to remember the ceremony by the look of concentration on his face.

"The candles represent the four cardinal points. Red is east, black is west, white is north and yellow is south, the candles also represent the four gods, the Bacabs that our people believe stand at the corners of the world and hold up the sky. The central flame is dedicated to Mother Earth. The priest has the privilege of lighting this 5th flame, but can decide to let somebody else do it.

They gave each other symbolic gifts. Pacal gave corn and cacao seeds to Maliya. In return, she gave him tortillas and powder of cacao. Symbolically, a woman will turn the raw material given by her future husband into food. Members of our village played music on traditional instruments before and during the ceremony."

"Do you remember the words of the ceremony?" she asked pushing for more details.

"No, I don't. I'm sorry," Chakotay apologized; he hated to disappoint Kathryn this way. "I was so happy and excited for them. My little sister was marrying my best friend. I think I was too swept up in the whole thing to remember any words really," he said in his defense.

When he saw the look of disappointment on her face, he quickly added, "I will write to Maliya and ask her to have a shaman write the ceremony down for us. That is if she can find one and if the shaman is willing to do that," Chakotay added, remembering not only that a shaman would be chary about doing that sort of thing, but also that it was possible no shaman had survived the holocaust the Cardassians had caused.

"Of course we have no way of knowing how much freedom the alien race we meet will allow us in a wedding ceremony so this may all be mute," Kathryn added a little sadly and Chakotay reached out his hand and covered hers as a way of comforting her about that thought.

Through their discussion they had finished their dinner and as Kathryn got up to recycle their dishes, Chakotay went to the replicator to get dessert, a large bowl of chocolate chip mint ice cream with two spoons.

"Lets share this on the couch," he said.

"Oh Chakotay, with all these meals we're eating together and desserts too, I'm going to get fat!" she wailed.

"Nonsense, you're probably what, 5 or 6 kilos underweight?" he guessed.

"Oh, you've been listening to the doctor's propaganda," she countered.

"No I haven't, I just picked you up. You're too skinny!" he said.

"Oh really, I thought you loved me just the way I am," she teased.

"Well I do, but I want you healthy so you can have a healthy baby," he replied.

"So I can count eating ice cream under the heading of getting healthy?" she asked as she dug into the ice cream.

"OK," Chakotay conceded, "as long as you remember to count drinking coffee and skipping meals under the unhealthy heading."

"Rats, I knew there'd be a catch somewhere," she grumbled.

"So tell me what is traditional for your people or maybe a better way to put this would be, what do you want in our wedding ceremony?" he asked her.

"I guess the most important thing would be an exchange of vows and rings. Most of the traditions I can think of are actually for the wedding reception," Kathryn answered.

"So what do I have to promise in these wedding vows?" Chakotay asked.

"Basically to stand by me no matter what may come, to love me and to be faithful to me," she answered.

"Oh, like the vows Tom and B'Elanna exchanged?" he asked and she nodded.

"No problem those are promises I want to make and keep," he said and she smiled, her heart warmed to hear those sentiments.

"So what about these traditions for the wedding reception? What are some of those?" he asked.

"Haven't you been to a lot of weddings?" she asked.

"Not really, other than the ones in my village, which I never paid much attention to anyway, except for the food at the feast afterwards, the only other wedding I've ever been to was Tom and B'Elanna's," Chakotay answered.

"Wow, well Tom and B'Elanna actually had a lot of the traditions I was thinking of like the cutting of the cake and feeding it to each other and the first dance and the best man's toast and the throwing of the bouquet and the sharing of each other's champagne. About the only thing they left out was the garter toss because B'Elanna wore her dress uniform which I definitely won't do. Though if I'm going to be barefoot maybe the garter toss is out, although it is a lot of fun," she added.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Well the bride wears a garter on her leg, ostensibly to hold her stockings up but really just so her brand new husband can remove it and toss it to the eligible bachelors. The fellow who catches it is suppose to be the next groom and he gets to put it on the woman who caught the bridal bouquet," Kathryn explains.

"Exactly wear does this garter go?" Chakotay asked curiously.

"About mid way between knee and hip, why?" Kathryn asked.

"And just how do I get this off of you?" he asked.

"I sit on a chair in front of all the guests and you reach under my skirt and pull it off my leg," she responded cheekily.

"Like this?" he asked and reached his hand under her skirt and began caressing her legs.

"No, not like that, you naughty boy," he caught her to him and she laughed but he silenced her with a kiss, but then he pulled a way and gasped in pain.

"What's wrong, Chakotay?" Kathryn asked with deep concern.

"Oh, it's just my back. It's sore from working this afternoon on the stones and shells the science department gave me for my 'half-birthday'. I'm making them into heishi, for some necklaces I want you to have," he explained.

"Oh darling, let me rub your back for you. Take your shirt off and lay face down on the couch while I get some oil from the replicator that will make your sore muscles feel better," Kathryn ordered.

Chakotay was reluctant to do what she asked. It seemed like his taking his shirt off and letting her give him a back rub was a sure fire recipe for a disaster but he didn't want to make a big fuss about it either. He didn't want every evening they had together to be filled with awkward moments, so he decided to 'comply', as Seven would say.

As she came back to the couch with warm herbal oil, she finally recognized the shirt. "That's the shirt you wore that night isn't it?" she asked.

"Yes, I wondered if you'd recognize it. There were times I almost threw it out," he said.

As she straddled his thighs to make it easier to reach his back she asked, "Why, why would you want to throw it out?

As she massaged the oil into his back and marveled at the rippling hard muscles beneath the soft skin, he answered in a muffled voice. "It was a reminder of our days on New Earth and there were times when those memories cut me like a knife. In those first few days when we came back, I would lie awake at night and hear you crying next door. It was more than I could take sometimes and I'd get up and go down to the holodeck and work out in the simulation of Boothby's gym until I was so tired I could barely stand," he answered.

The feeling of her hands on his back was dichotomous. On the one hand it was soothing the ache of his muscles but on the other hand it was so sensuous that it was arousing him. All he could think about was how he wanted to reverse their positions, have her beneath him. He wanted to stretch his bigger body over hers and make love to her.

"There does that feel better?" she asked as she got off of his legs, allowing him to sit up.

"Yes," he said and started to lean back against the couch.

"Oh, don't lean back! You'll get oil on the couch," she warned.

"I don't care," he said like a typical guy, yet he didn't lean back.

"Well, you will when it stains. Here put you shirt back on, at least you can launder it," she said as she threw him his shirt.

"OK," he relented and pulled the shirt on over his head. Something about her worrying about his staining the couch with oil and telling him he could at least launder the shirt felt so domestic to him that he grinned at her.

"What's that grin all about?" she asked amused.

"I don't know, there for a second I felt like we were already married, what with you telling me not to get oil on the couch and all," he replied and grinned again.

She laughed and sat down in his lap and began kissing him. Soon the kisses became very passionate as their hands roamed each others bodies and his tongue did to her mouth what he longed to do to her pussy with his cock. After a few minutes of groping Kathryn realized she need to calm things down or have another scene like last night.

"I think I better go," she said as she pushed him away from her.

"So soon?" he lamented.

"Yes, I think its better for us if I go now, OK?" she said tenderly and he realized she was right.

He sighed, and then helped her up from the couch. "All right," he said and led her to his door. He pulled her to him for a sweet and tender goodnight kiss.

"Goodnight sweetheart, I love you," he said.

"And I love you," she replied as she left his quarters.

"Damn," Chakotay said after she'd left his quarters. Thanks to his raging libido he'd managed to scare her off again. He loved spending time with her and just talking, but he couldn't do that now because he couldn't keep his passions in check. He punched the bulkhead next to him and with the sickening crunching noise that accompanied the punch he realized he'd broken some bones in his hand.

"Oh great, another trip to see the doctor," Chakotay muttered to himself and set off out his door and on the way to the sickbay.

May 21, 2378 2115 Sickbay

The instant he entered sickbay he called for the computer to activate the emergency medical hologram.

"Well what can I do for you this evening, commander?" the doctor asked.

"I think I broke a bone or two in my hand," Chakotay said as he held his large right hand out for the doctor to examine.

The doctor ran a medical tricorder over it and said, "Good diagnosis, now come over here to a biobed and sit on the edge of it while I get an osteoregenerator."

Chakotay complied with the doctor and so the EMH felt safe in asking the next question that came to mind. "How did you manage to break three metacarpals, boxing barehanded with the holodeck safeties off?" the doctor ventured.

"No, I punched the bulkhead in my quarters," Chakotay answered listlessly.

"Why?" the doctor inquired as he turned the osteoregenerator on the commander's hand.

Chakotay sighed, he didn't really want to answer and yet he sort of did want to answer, he was obviously confused. "I was angry at myself," he said simply.

"Again why?" the doctor felt like he was pulling the information out of Chakotay one fragment at a time as though he were removing debris from a wound.

"Because for the second time in as many nights, I shortened my evening with Kathryn by not having a good rein on my own actions. At least tonight I don't think I traumatized her. And that's probably only because tonight I hadn't been drinking, so things didn't get quite so out of hand," Chakotay answered.

The doctor knew Chakotay sounded angry and he also realized the angry was self-directed. "Commander you are not the only man on board who is having these same difficulties with self-control, however I do believe you're the only one being asked to deal with a raging libido while under the 'constraints' you are. What I'm trying to say is, give yourself a break, you aren't doing that bad a job," the EMH said in an attempt to cheer the commander up.

"Your hand is healed but may have some residual soreness. Try to restrain yourself from punching the bulkhead again anytime soon," the doctor told Chakotay.

"Thanks for fixing my hand, Doc and for trying to cheer me up," Chakotay said as he hopped off the biobed and started out of sickbay.

"You could thank me by taking better care of yourself," the EMH said to the commander's retreating form.

May 21, 2378 2130 Chakotay's Quarters

When Chakotay got back to his quarters he decided to do what he had last night, call Kathryn over the comm channel. If he couldn't be with her he could at least talk to her.

"Chakotay to Janeway," he said to activate the link.

"Janeway here, what is it Chakotay? Why'd you go to sickbay?" she asked.

"How did you know I went to sickbay?" he asked.

"I decide I was going to try coming back over, but you didn't answer your door chime and so I asked the computer for your whereabouts. So what happened?" she asked again.

"I punched the bulkhead," Chakotay reluctantly admitted.

"Why did you do that, sweetheart?" she asked tenderly.

"Because I was angry at myself for scaring you off. I so want to just spend time with you, but I can't control myself and it's driving me crazy. I miss spending time with you. We used to spend more time together before we were engaged," he said sadly.

"Chakotay its not going to be like this forever you know that, either the effects of the boosters will wear off or we'll find an M class planet and get married," she said.

"Or you could change you're mind," Chakotay said hopefully.

"Don't count on that one honey," she said truthfully.

"Look it's only going to be a few months at the most," she added trying to sound hopeful.

"I'll be certifiable by then. Look Kathryn I think from now until we find that M class planet or the side effects wear off we need to date in more public locations and maybe go on a few double dates. OK? Can we try that?" he asked hopefully.

"All right, if that's what you need to help you stay sane while giving me what I need, then OK," Kathryn replied.

"And Kathryn?" he said.

"Would you mind if we talked like this every evening, well until we can talk face to face with out any problems?" he asked.

"I wouldn't mind at all. I like talking to you like this," she said

And so for a few weeks Chakotay and Kathryn slipped into a routine of having dinner in the mess hall or at Sandrine's or in the quarters of one of the many couples who were suddenly beginning to come forward all over Voyager. And every night before they went to bed they called each other and chatted about this and that or talked about what they dreamed about for their future.


	10. Chapter 10

June 1, 2378 0730 Kathryn's Quarters

Kathryn had just finished removing a tray from the replicator that contained their breakfast; bowls of hot oatmeal and spiced apple slices with a small pitcher of lactose reduced milk (in deference to having discovered the hard way that Chakotay was lactose intolerant), when Chakotay entered her quarters. He no longer rang the chime as Kathryn had given him permission to use her code, which she knew he knew anyway.

"Good morning sweetheart, do you want a hand with that?" Chakotay asked.

"No, I think I've got it, how about you get us our morning coffees and some honey?" she asked.

"OK," he said and moved to the replicator; actually glad she'd left getting the coffees to him as that way he could get his as sweet as he liked it.

As they sat enjoying their morning meal, Chakotay decided to bring up an idea he'd been toying with for a few days.

"Kathryn, I'd like to have a little brainstorming session about the tactical situation that the Super Badlands represent and I was thinking of doing it in a pedagogical setting," Chakotay said.

"Excuse me peda-what?" she asked in surprise.

"Whoa wait a second, you mean me, the guy who speaks Standard as his third language, finally found a word you, a native Standard speaker, doesn't know?" Chakotay asked teasingly.

"Well I guess you did, what does it mean?" she asked slightly amused at his attitude.

"It refers to teaching or training," he answered.

"So you want to teach a class based on the tactical situation the Super Badlands represents?" she asked not sure about his idea.

"Well, yeah sort of, I used to do this with my Advance Tactics class. I'd take half a dozen of them into a seminar and set a problem for them in which they must think through the tactical situation from both sides. Of course this will be a very difficult problem because we don't know that much about the pirates that we suspect are in the Super Badlands. If we come up with anything good we can implement it," Chakotay answered.

"Who would you take into this seminar?" Kathryn asked.

"Well, I was thinking of trying to get a pretty broad spectrum of 'students'. I thought I'd take Ken Dalby, Mike Ayala, Tom Paris, Harry Kim, Icheb and Tuvok," Chakotay answered.

"Is there any reason there are no women in the seminar?" Kathryn asked, just slightly suspicious.

"Uh, well yes, but I swear its not some sexist thing about men being better at this sort of thing. In fact in the academy one of my best students in Advanced Tactics was a woman. But frankly, right now I didn't think my fiancée would like me to be cooped up with a bunch of women, but if you insist I could substitute say the Delaney twins and Seven of Nine for-" Chakotay's teasing answer was interrupted.

"No, no I think you've chosen wisely." Kathryn said as she smiled at him over her coffee cup.

"When did you want to start this?" She asked.

"The sooner the better," Chakotay said. "I'm getting nervous with Voyager cruising out here like a lure for the pirates."

"All right, go ahead and do it today if you want," Kathryn responded, green lighting his project.

"Thanks, I'll feel better about things if I think we've got a good strategy for confronting these pirates," Chakotay said as he finished off his breakfast and helped Kathryn clear their dishes.

"Well, you better send out messages to your seminar 'students'," Kathryn told Chakotay.

"Will do, I'll set up the session for 0900 in the briefing room," he replied with a smile.

June 1, 2378 0900 Briefing Room

"So any idea what Chakotay wants us for?" Harry asked Tom.

"Nope not a clue," said Tom.

A moment later Tuvok and Mike Ayala entered the room followed shortly thereafter by Icheb and Ken Dalby. Just as the six men were about to sort themselves out around the conference table, Chakotay entered.

"Welcome to TAC602 Advance Tactics Seminar gentlemen," Chakotay said jokingly. "Tuvok you're over here with Harry and Icheb, Tom you're over here with Mike and Ken," Chakotay directed the men to sit on opposite sides of the conference table with him at the head.

"Here, these pads will help explain what we are doing here faster and better than I could by talking," Chakotay said as he distributed six pads to his 'students' and kept a master padd for himself.

After Chakotay judged everyone had had time to read and digest the information on the pads, he asked, "Well gentlemen, any questions?"

Just to be a smart aleck Tom Paris asked, "Do we get academy credits for this?"

"Only if Star Fleet Academy still recognizes my credentials as a tactical instructor," Chakotay replied with a laugh.

"All right Tom, you, Mike and Ken are our pirate team. Tuvok, you, Icheb and Harry represent the Voyager team. I'll help out both teams as best I can," Chakotay said.

"Why don't you take a few minutes to discuss among yourselves the data and brainstorm a couple of attack and defense scenarios?" Chakotay suggested.

In the space of a few hours, working in the two small groups and then coming back together to exchange ideas, they came up with several sound recommendations that Chakotay decided to take to the captain.

"Thank you gentlemen I think what we've come up with will make Voyager safer in the long run," Chakotay said, and then began making specific assignments.

"Tom, Mike I'd like you two to draw up a list of possible pilots and gunnery officers. Icheb, I want you talk to Seven about the feasibility of installing photonic missiles in the new shuttle/fighters and also upgrading the shielding to match that in the Delta Flyer. Harry, Tuvok look into the deployment of the sensor probes and setting a schedule of improved battle drills. Ken, you get the unenviable assignment of figuring out, with lots of help from the rest of the engineering staff, how to 'soup up' the shuttles' engines and weaponry," Chakotay concluded his list of assignments.

"Commander, should we not wait to hear what the captain has to say before we carry out these assignments?" Tuvok asked.

"No Tuvok, all the assignments I've made are preliminary, we won't alter any shuttles or pull anyone from duty shifts for training or deploy any sensor probes until she approves, but I want our response to be swift and well developed when she does approve and I'm confidant she will," Chakotay replied.

"Yeah, I bet you are," Mike said.

"What was that, Lieutenant?" Chakotay said sharply.

"Uh, nothing sir." Ayala quickly replied.

"Look, let's get this straight, the captain of this ship is not engaged to marry the first officer of this ship. Kathryn Janeway is engaged to marry Chakotay, son of Kolopak. Maybe that's a bit of a fine line for you to get your mind around but try, OK? I won't use my personal relationship with Kathryn to convince the captain to do something that I, as Voyager's first officer believe she should do. If she doesn't think our suggestions merit implementation then I'll argue with her about it, but I'll do it as Voyager's first officer and if I can't win that argument then so be it," Chakotay explained.

"Yes sir, I'm sorry sir. I should never have said anything that made it seem as though I thought you would do otherwise," Ayala responded feeling awful for having doubted his commanding officer and friend's principles.

"No problem, Mike. But-" Chakotay paused and then when he had the entire group's attention continued, "I wouldn't mind if all of you helped me get that message around to anyone who might have a misconception about the way the command team on this ship will continue to function," he requested.

With a chorus of assents his 'TAC 602 students' left the briefing room to carry out their orders while he considered how he, Commander Chakotay, was going to present his recommendations to Captain Janeway.

June 1, 2378 1130 Ready Room

The chime of her ready room sounded and Kathryn called out, "Come In".

"Chakotay," Kathryn said as that special smile she saved just for him spread across her face.

"Is it time for lunch already?" she asked.

"No, not quite," Chakotay said, struggling to keep from giving her an answering full dimpled smile of his own.

"Actually I was hoping to talk to you Captain, about the tactical meeting I just concluded," he said.

"Of course Commander, please sit down," Kathryn said to Chakotay and indicated the chair in front of her desk rather than the couch. She was doing her best to keep their interaction as professional as possible, as it seemed he wanted to by asking to talk to the captain.

"Did your 'class' come up with any useful recommendations?" she asked.

"Yes, several," Chakotay answered. "I'll list them in order of what I believe are increasing importance, in terms of truly making us more prepared to take on the pirate threat. First, Tuvok has recommended a series of redesigned battle drills that would focus on the likelihood of an attack by a fairly significant number of small highly maneuverable ships. Second, Ensign Kim has suggested deploying a series of remote controlled sensor drones that could increase our ability to detect an attack from the Super Badlands. Both of these suggestions are easy to implement and would not cause a significant drain on manpower or resources," he reported to her.

Chakotay paused before moving on to the most unconventional suggestion, "The third suggestion is basically from Tom Paris and myself. We'd like to redesign our existing shuttle fleet to make them over into fighters. We'd need to do some minor changes in the aerodynamics, augment the engines and shields and in some shuttles upgrade the armaments. We could then use the shuttles and the Delta Flyer as fighter support of Voyager," he concluded.

"Five is an odd number for a fighter flight isn't it?" Kathryn asked and Chakotay visibly relaxed. Such a question seemed to indicate to him that she approved of the idea.

"Yes, normally there'd be a flight of six ships but we just don't have the sixth vessel available," he answered.

"What about Neelix's ship?" she asked.

"The Baxial? It's a freighter. I don't know if it could be used to any advantage," he said skeptically. He paused a moment considering her suggestion. "You really think we should consider it?" Chakotay asked, uncertain if Kathryn really meant her suggestion seriously.

"Well, we might as well at least look at the feasibility, that is if Neelix will allow it," she said.

"So you are willing to OK the redesign of the shuttles?" Chakotay asked, trying not to seem over anxious.

"Yes, I think it's a good idea. In fact I wonder why we never considered it before?" Kathryn pondered.

"Thank the boosters for that," Chakotay said a bit annoyed.

"Why do you say that?" Kathryn asked a bit curious.

"I've learned from the doctor that among the side affects of prolonged use of the boosters is a steady decline not only in sex drive but in assertiveness and aggression. The damn things basically turned me into a lap dog. I wasn't aggressive enough about protecting my people, that won't happen any more," Chakotay said resolutely.

Kathryn wasn't sure what to think about his statement and as she contemplated whether or not to make any comment at all, Chakotay continued with his plans for providing more defenses for Voyager.

"We will also need to train some fighter pilots and gunnery officers," Chakotay added.

"All right, go ahead and implement your plans, Chakotay," Kathryn said.

"Yes, Captain," Chakotay said as he rose from the chair and started towards the doors of the ready room.

"Chakotay?" Kathryn's uncertain voice stopped him in mid stride. "You could give orders to implement your plan from here and then we could have lunch together," she said.

"I knew that," Chakotay said with a grin that he hoped covered his previous preoccupation with being the perfect first officer and pretending to be oblivious to the fact that he was talking to the woman he loved.

"Chakotay to Bridge," Chakotay said to open communications to the officers on the bridge.

"Tuvok here, sir," came the crisp reply.

"Tuvok inform the rest of the 'Advance Tactics class' that the captain has approved our recommendations. Please see to it that appropriate assignments are made to implement the recommendations," Chakotay ordered.

"Aye Sir," Tuvok answered.

Before Tuvok could terminate the link Kathryn added, "And Tuvok, the commander and I will be having lunch in my ready room please see that we're not disturbed for the next half hour."

"Of course captain," Tuvok said as he closed the comm line.

"You know commander," Kathryn said as she began stalking seductively towards Chakotay, "you simply must remember to delegate."

As she reached him she said, "Now, what do you want for lunch, Chakotay?"

He gathered her into his arms and asked, "Are you on the menu?"

"Not yet," she laughed and playfully pushed out of his arms.

"Well if you aren't, then maybe we shouldn't have lunch alone here in your ready room," he said.

At her disappointed look, he said with a grin, "Look, I can resist anything except temptation. Let's go to the mess hall for lunch and afterwards we can talk to Neelix about transforming his ship, OK?" he suggested.

"Oh, all right," she said with a pout that made it clear she didn't really like his suggestion.

"Look, if you don't like the choices we've got, change things," he said trying to keep things light, but actually growing annoyed at her.

Kathryn realized being flirtatious with Chakotay right now was a mistake and she was teetering on the edge of making him angry again. "No, you're right. Let's go see what Neelix is offering for lunch," she agreed.

June 1, 2378 1200 Mess Hall

"Greetings Captain, Commander, what can I get you for lunch?" Neelix asked brightly.

"Well what have you got?" Kathryn asked.

"We've got pleeka rind casserole or roasted chadre-kab with broiled Talaxian tomatoes or" Neelix said slightly less enthusiastically, "I can get you something from the replicator."

"Roasted chadre-kab with broiled Talaxian tomatoes sounds good to me," Chakotay said.

"Make that two servings, Neelix," Kathryn said. "And why don't you see if you can break free after the rush is over and come join us. We have a proposition for you," she added.

As Kathryn and Chakotay finished their lunch, Neelix approached them with a tray containing a carafe of coffee, three cups, three bowls containing some sort of dessert and three spoons.

"I have something for you to try, it's a fruit compote, my mother's recipe, well not exactly my mother's recipe because we don't actually have Talaxian mung fruit or Mylean cream for that matter but-" Neelix prattled on.

"Uh, why don't you just let us try some," Kathryn said mercifully interrupting the chatty Talaxian.

Chakotay looked dubiously at the concoction but decided to be brave and give it a try. "Hey, this stuff is good!" Chakotay said sounding surprised. "It reminds me of something my mother use to make."

With Chakotay's ringing endorsement Kathryn decided to try it too, "It is good, a little too sweet for my taste, which probably explains why Chakotay likes it," she said and grinned as she made fun of her fiancé's notorious sweet tooth.

With his commanding officers enjoying the sweet treat, Neelix decided to ask what their proposition for him was. "So what did you want to talk to me about?" he asked.

As Kathryn had just stuck a spoonful of dessert in her mouth, Chakotay took it on himself to answer Neelix's question by asking a question, "You are aware of the region of space we call the Super Badlands that we are skirting around?"

"Yes, of course I am, Commander," Neelix replied.

"Well, you're an experienced space traveler, what has your past experience taught you about traversing past an area of space were sensors can't give you accurate information?" Chakotay continued asking questions as though Neelix was a student in his tactics class. Kathryn stayed silent, enjoying watching Chakotay handle this situation.

"If it's possible for them to, bandits like to lie in wait in such areas," Neelix noted.

"Yes, and we are alone out here with no one to call upon for help if these bandits attack us and so we must help ourselves. We are going to convert the shuttles into fighter craft and Kathryn thought we might ask you to volunteer your ship, the Baxial to likewise be refitted to make her more battle ready," Chakotay concluded.

"Well, the Baxial is a small freighter, she's not going to make much of a fighter," Neelix said truthfully.

"Perhaps not, but she might make a pretty good gunship, if we beef up her shields and give her plenty of fire power. She won't be trying to maneuver around attacking enemy ships, just getting in a good position to pour phaser fire or photonic missiles on them," Chakotay said.

At the mention of photonic missiles Neelix's ears perked up.

"Well, anything for the good of the ship," Neelix said.

"Good, then we'll start an assessment this afternoon to see what's feasible," Chakotay said.

And so it was decided Neelix's ship would join the shuttles in being modified for battle.

June 2, 2378 1330 Shuttle Bay

"Icheb could you hand me the microwelder?" Joe Carey asked and reached his hand back out of the service crawlway of the Baxial for the tool.

"Here you go, sir," Icheb said, as he slapped the tool into the older man's hand like a surgical assistant handing a surgeon a scalpel.

A few moments later, Joe asked, "OK, Icheb how does that read?"

"Power couplings to the new enhanced shielding are stable," the young ex-Borg announced.

"OK, now this old freighter can hang in there and take a beating, next thing is to give her something to beat back with," the assistant chief engineer said with a grin.

"Seven of Nine believes the Baxial can be equipped with a photonic missile launcher as well as a conventional photon torpedo launcher. Will we also be upgrading the phasers?" Icheb asked.

"I think Commander Chakotay wants the Baxial to be able to punch as heavily as she can. Something about her being like a super heavyweight, not very mobile but able to give and take a lot of heavy punches," Joe answered.

"Hey, Joe you in there?" asked Ken Dalby, as he stuck his head in the Baxial's main hatch.

"Yeah, what is it, Ken?" Joe asked.

"I think we're gonna run into some materials shortages issues here soon and wondered if we want to make some changes," Ken replied.

"What are we gonna run short on?" Joe asked.

"I think the main thing is torpedo casing. It's always been a major problem. Usually we don't even have raw materials on hand to fabricate them like we do now, but even so, we are gonna run out if we try and put a standard compliment in all shuttles, plus I don't think the two smaller shuttles really have room for them," Ken said bluntly.

"Yeah and you know what, those two smaller shuttles would be a lot faster if we eliminate the launchers and streamlined the hulls," Joe said.

"Yeah, but you know what Chakotay said, 'you need a hook and a jab'," Ken laughed a little as he said it.

"You know what Ken, that Big Indian can't always have everything he wants," Joe said.

Ken laughed, "You don't know the half of it, Joe."

"You want to let me in on what's so funny?" Joe asked.

"Uh, never mind, just forget I said anything, OK?" Ken said with just a hint of pleading as he realized he'd been about to break a confidence.

"OK Ken, whatever. Let's go see about making some sort of compromise on those torpedo casings and the modifications we've been making," Joe said.

June 4, 2378 1230 Mess Hall

Tom Paris and Harry Kim sat at their favorite table morosely pushing 'lunch' around their plates.

"You know this stuff wouldn't be so bad if I didn't somehow feel like I was eating crow." Tom said.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked.

"Well, Chakotay thought a good way for the pilots I'd chosen to get some very important training would be to watch two experienced pilots in a dog fight. So he and I got into simulators on the holodeck with our fighter pilot trainees watching and did a demonstration dog fight," Tom answered.

"So, what happened?" Harry asked expectantly.

"Well, the engineering crew may have nicknamed him Commander Crash because of the number of shuttles he's totaled, but the guy can flat out fly any fighter pilot out of the sky," Tom answered.

"He did things with that little shuttle/fighter I didn't think were possible. Of course he came close to burning out the inertial dampers a few times, but I swear he made that little shuttle/fighter do pirouettes. Really wiped the floor with me and I thought I was pretty good," Tom admitted.

"The worse part is he talked through the whole thing, telling the pilot trainees what maneuver I was trying to execute and how he was countering it," Tom continued. "Then at one point I was in the Delta Flyer and he was in the smallest shuttle/fighter and well he did this maneuver - it was like he made the ship do a somersault with a twist, so instead of my shooting him in the tail section he was strafing my port nacelle," Tom explained to Harry.

"Anyway he didn't tell the students what that maneuver was called. I remembered at the time I thought 'What the hell? I was never taught that move'. So after we finished the demonstration dog fight, Sue Jenkins asked him what he called that maneuver. Chakotay said as far as he knew it didn't have a name. It was just something he used when he was up against a Cardassian Hideki class fighter in a little Peregrine fighter. Later when the trainees were practicing, I heard Debbie Lang encouraging Pablo Baytart to do a Chakotay maneuver to get out of a jam he was in," Tom said with a pained smile.

"You know, I think Chakotay is sort of getting off on preparing to fight these supposed pirates," Harry observed.

"Yeah, he was really into it yesterday during that battle drill, wasn't he?" Tom asked rhetorically.

"Oh man, you should of seen the look on the captain's face when he kept giving orders before she could say anything," Harry said with a grin. "I was relieved when she told him if we were attacked she wanted him to take over directing the battle," he added and Tom nodded.

"Come on, we're due back at our duty posts," Tom said.

June 5, 2378 01200 Mess hall

Chakotay and Kathryn headed to the mess hall together to grab a quick bite for lunch. Just after they sat down at their favorite table B'Elanna joined them.

"Mind if I join you?" she asked.

"Kathryn?" Chakotay deferred to his fiancée, as he would of course welcome B'Elanna's company.

"Please, join us!" Kathryn said and made room for B'Elanna.

"How's the first day back at work treating you?" Chakotay asked.

"Well, considering you've got my entire crew busy creating your little shuttle/fighters, fine," B'Elanna said in her normally feisty way, but then added more gently, "but I miss Miral terribly, already. Don't suppose I can get you to let me set her crib up in my office, now can I?" B'Elanna asked.

"Well, I don't know. If we set that precedence for you then Kathryn will want to have our baby in her ready room and I'm not sure I approve of that," Chakotay said teasing both women.

"Hey, I almost forgot, we are going to have a gathering to officially christen Miral tomorrow evening but we wanted to have a smaller gathering tonight in our quarters, can you come?" B'Elanna asked.

"Well, we were suppose to go on a double date with Tal Celes and Billy Telfer tonight, but honestly, I don't mind canceling out," Kathryn said.

"Don't let Billy and Celes hear that, you'll hurt their feelings." Chakotay teased Kathryn.

"Well honestly Chakotay, their twenty years younger than us, what would we have in common?" Kathryn asked.

"Besides living on Voyager, only that they too are in love and want to get married," B'Elanna answered smugly before her 'brother' could.

"How did you two end up agreeing to a double date with those two anyway?" B'Elanna asked.

Chakotay looked at Kathryn guardedly, as though he wasn't sure if he should answer or not.

"It's not that I mind giving you an answer to that question B'Elanna, I just don't want to do it here, OK?" Kathryn asked.

"All right, so how about you two come a little earlier than everybody else who's coming by tonight and you can tell me then, OK?" B'Elanna bargained.

Chakotay put his hand over Kathryn's and said, "OK, what time do you want us?"

"How about 1800?" B'Elanna asked.

"OK, we'll see you then," Kathryn said then added, "you'd better finish up here Chakotay. I hear tell you have another holodeck simulation set up for your fighter pilots and their gunnery mates."

"Yes," Chakotay added, "I've got to be sure their prepared for any situation."

Chakotay quickly shoveled in a few more mouthfuls of food and took a large gulp of iced tea, and then picked up his tray and leaned over to kiss Kathryn as he said, "I hate to leave such beautiful company but duty calls. I'll drop by your quarters about 1745, OK?" he said to Kathryn. "See you this evening B'Elanna," he said to his 'sister'.

"All right, Chakotay," Kathryn answered.

"See you, Chakotay," B'Elanna said to his retreating back.

"You know I think that in a strange way this pirate threat has been good for him or maybe it's just you that's good for him," B'Elanna observed.

Kathryn shook her head vigorously and said dejectedly, "No it's the pirate situation that's good for him, not me."

"Do you want to talk about this?" B'Elanna asked.

"Yes, but like I said before not here and not now, tonight," she implored. "And B'Elanna I think tonight's discussion would be easier woman to woman and man to man," she said.

"OK," B'Elanna said then started to get up from the table. "I better get back down to the shuttle bay. No telling what they've tried to do to those shuttle's while I was gone."

"All right," Kathryn said. She sat in the mess hall a while toying with her lunch and thinking about this evening's conversation.

June 5, 2378 1745 Kathryn's Quarters

Kathryn looked at herself in her full-length mirror. A loose long sleeved blue shirt over a white t-shirt with a pair of navy slacks. Chakotay could not possibly think this outfit looked sexy. It was just very comfortable, nothing revealing, and nothing tight.

God, she hated having to think about how to dress around him so as not to arouse him. She knew the waiting was grating on his nerve and she really wished she could just get over her superstition. But she couldn't and they both had to live with that. Maybe confiding in Tom and B'Elanna would help. She hoped Chakotay would go along with her idea for her to talk to B'Elanna and for him to talk to Tom.

As she was brushing her longer hair and trying to decide whether to braid it or not Chakotay entered her quarters.

"Kathryn?" he called out.

"In here," she responded, standing in front of the mirror in her bathroom starting to braid her hair.

"Please don't braid your hair. It looks so beautiful when you wear it loose," Chakotay said.

He reached for a barrette he saw on the countertop and as he handed it to her he said, "Here, use this instead."

"All right," she conceded, "for you."

"Chakotay," Kathryn started uncertainly "I talked to B'Elanna a little after you left today and I told her I'd like our conversation tonight to actually be two conversations."

"Oh," Chakotay said. "What do you mean by that?"

"Well, I just think it might be easier man to man and woman to woman. Don't you think?" Kathryn asked.

Chakotay sighed in relief and then said, "I was thinking the same thing, and I was wondering how to maneuver things."

"Oh, well to hear the scuttle butt, you must know exactly how to do that. It's surely just a variant of the Chakotay maneuver," Kathryn teased.

"The what?" Chakotay said obviously both curious and amused.

"Apparently the fighter trainees are all trying to perfect the Chakotay maneuver," she answered.

"Oh great, I guess that's what I get for being determined to beat Tom no matter what he threw at me," Chakotay responded.

"Hey, we better get going," Kathryn said as she hooked her arm under his and pulled him towards the main room of her quarters.

June 5, 2378 1745 Tom and B'Elanna's Quarters

"So you have any idea what the problem is?" Tom asked B'Elanna as he set out some appetizers on the dining room table.

"Well, only that it has something to do with the explanation of why they'd agree to double date with Billy Telfer and Tal Celes and that they didn't want to discuss it in the mess hall," B'Elanna replied, as she put some flowers on the table, then she added, "Oh and when I suggested that either the pirate situation was good for him or she was, she immediately jumped in and said it was the pirate situation. She seemed really down in the mouth when she said it too, like she thinks she's bad for him or something."

"Huh, that doesn't sound good. I mean they've only been engaged for two weeks," Tom replied.

"Oh Tom, Kathryn did suggest that whatever it is, it would be easier to discuss man to man and woman to woman," B'Elanna said.

"Oh that's a relief then," Tom said.

"What do you mean by that?" B'Elanna asked.

"Well, think about it if she wants to talk to you and wants Chakotay to talk to me, it's probably just a sex problem. You know mismatched libidos or something," Tom said.

"I suppose you could be right about that, but I'm not sure I want us playing sex therapists to our commanding officers," B'Elanna replied.

"We're not, we're just being the only married couple they can talk to and it doesn't hurt that we're 'family'," Tom countered.

Just then the chime to their quarters sounded, letting them know Kathryn and Chakotay had arrived and they'd soon have their answers as to what the problem was.

"Come in," B'Elanna called out.

Kathryn and Chakotay came in and Tom and B'Elanna could immediately tell they were nervous about the upcoming discussion. But they'd had no more than a second to make that observation, when Miral's lusty cry drew everyone's attention.

"Ah, someone has noticed that we have company," B'Elanna said as she headed towards Miral's crib.

"Oh, you're soaked," she exclaimed when she picked Miral up.

"Kathryn, want to help me change her?" B'Elanna offered.

"Sure," Kathryn answered and the two women went off to the bathroom to change Miral's diaper.

"I think that's our clue to have a little man to man chat about whatever's bugging you," Tom said.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it doesn't require both Voyager's captain and chief engineer just to change Miral's diaper," Chakotay said.

"Come on let's have a beer and talk over whatever the problem is," Tom suggested as he went to the replicator and produced a couple of bottles of cold beer.

"OK," Chakotay replied not sounding overly enthusiastic about the prospect of the upcoming discussion.

"So, what is it that's got the two of you double dating with Billy Telfer and Tal Celes?" Tom asked as he handed Chakotay his beer.

"Well, they're not unique, we've double dated with one couple or another every night for the last two weeks except tonight and well I think this will work just as well," Chakotay said, then took a drink of his beer.

"Work for what?" Tom asked.

"To keep my libido in check," Chakotay replied. "Look, when I asked Kathryn to marry me I expected the kind of 'privileges' every guy expects of such a relationship but"… Chakotay trailed off a bit then took another pull at his beer bottle.

"Wait are you saying – you and Kathryn aren't…" Tom left his question unfinished and simply stared at Chakotay in disbelief.

Chakotay nodded and sighed, then said, "Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying".

"But why not?" Tom asked upset for his 'brother-in-law'.

"Fear, irrational almost superstitious fear," Chakotay answered.

"What's she so afraid of, not sex I hope?" Tom asked.

"No, at least I don't think so," Chakotay added sounding a bit like he hadn't given that last bit a consideration before and was sincerely hoping it wasn't the case. "This is the third time Kathryn's been engaged and well the last two times didn't work out so well."

"Oh, yeah I guess you could say that. I know the first guy was killed in the same accident her dad died in and somehow she felt guilty about surviving the accident. I remember my dad talking about her being in this really bad depression afterwards," Tom said

"Yes, and shortly before she was to get married the second time, she got thrown out here in the Delta quadrant," Chakotay added.

"So, she thinks if she doesn't make love to you before you're married that some how this time things will work out?" Tom asked in disbelief.

"Yes, and I know it makes no sense, but it's how she feels and I promised her I'd respect her feelings," Chakotay said. glumly.

"Easier said than done when your battling testosterone surges, huh big guy?" Tom asked.

"You said it," Chakotay answered with a sigh. "I want, no I need to let Kathryn know that I'll keep my word to her and that no matter how difficult what she's asking me to do is, that I'll respect her feelings in the matter," Chakotay said with conviction.

"Yeah, but if she wanted to talk about this with B'Elanna, then maybe she's changed her mind," Tom said trying to give the older man some hope.

"Maybe, but Tom," Chakotay started then paused a moment trying to think how to explain his thought process to his 'brother-in-law'. "Look, I proposed right after Miral was born, and then later that evening I gave her the engagement ring. Her response to getting the ring made me think maybe she'd changed her mind about our making love and well things got a little heated," Chakotay explained.

"How heated?" Tom interrupted Chakotay for clarification.

"Lets just say I'd rounded third base and was heading home," Chakotay said.

"And then what happened?" Tom asked.

"She threw on the brakes and I got furious with her. I thought she was playing the tease or testing me, seeing whether I'd keep my word. I really blew up at her. And the way she responded to my temper was a revelation," Chakotay explained.

"How so?" Tom asked.

"She was terribly shaken and she tried to give the engagement ring back. She couldn't imagine that I could be so angry at her behavior and still love her and want to marry her," Chakotay replied.

"Wow, what would make her think that way?" Tom asked obviously shocked by what he'd heard.

"I'm not sure, but I'd say somehow she got the message at an early age that being loved was something you earned by meeting expectations and doing things to please the other person," Chakotay speculated.

"Yeah, well if her dad was anything like mine, I can understand her growing up to think like that," Tom said a bit sadly.

"Well, I don't want her to go on thinking like that. I want her to know that I love her no matter what. So I feel like I really need to let her have things her way in this matter, just so she knows how much I value her," Chakotay answered.

"Love imposes impossible tasks, though not anymore than any heart asks," Tom quoted.

"What?" Chakotay asked a bit confused.

"It's a line from an old English folk song my mother use to sing. It was full of impossible tasks like making a shirt without a seam, plowing a field with a lamb's horn and reaping wheat with a sickle of leather. Towards the end of the song the singer says if his love says she can't do these things, let him know that at least she will try and then there's that line about love imposing impossible tasks," Tom said obviously remembering his mother singing the song.

"Well, this isn't an impossible task but it's damn hard," Chakotay admitted.

"I'll bet you are," Tom said to lighten the mood and both men laughed.

Meanwhile in the bathroom of Tom and B'Elanna's quarters, the two women set to the task of changing Miral's diapers while they too discussed the problem.

"So are you going to tell me why you two agreed to double date with Billy and Celes and why you practically implied that you're not good for Chakotay?" B'Elanna said in her no-nonsense way.

"Oh B'Elanna, sometimes I think Chakotay deserves a much different woman than me," Kathryn responded.

"Well, I'm pretty sure he'd disagree with that. Come on, out with it, what's the problem?" B'Elanna asked as she deftly positioned the diaper and nappy beneath her newborn.

"I made Chakotay promise we wouldn't make love until after we're married," Kathryn blurted out.

"What?" B'Elanna blurted out loudly, and then when Miral began to fuss she realized she'd better keep her voice down and so she asked her question again in a softer voice. "What did you say?"

"You heard me, I made Chakotay promise we wouldn't make love until after we're married," Kathryn repeated.

"But for Kahless' sake, why?" B'Elanna asked truly shocked.

"Because I'm, I don't know neurotic, I guess," Kathryn answered somewhat flippantly.

Seeing B'Elanna's skeptical look, Kathryn tried again.

"Look I've been engaged twice before and both times the engagements ended badly. My first fiancée was killed in a shuttle accident with my father. I was the only survivor of the crash. The second time I was engaged to be married I was thrown out here into the Delta quadrant and he gave me up for dead and married someone else," she explained.

"So this is kind of like a superstition?" B'Elanna asked and then added for clarification, "You think that if you don't make love to Chakotay before you marry him, maybe you actually will get married?" B'Elanna asked as she cuddled her baby to herself.

"Exactly," Kathryn answered. "Only now I'm not so sure because under the current circumstances, I mean with Chakotay fighting the effects of neutralizing his boosters, I'm afraid he'll either die from the frustration or just give up on me," Kathryn added caught between amusement and sadness.

"Well, despite what men say, 'blue balls' can't kill them. If Chakotay's got a problem he can handle it himself so to speak." B'Elanna said and both women smiled.

"And I know he won't give up on you. He stood in these quarters less than three weeks ago and said he'd go to his grave loving you. So you don't have to worry on that account," B'Elanna reassured Kathryn.

"The only thing I'm wondering here is, are you changing your mind about this or something?" B'Elanna asked shrewdly.

"Yes," Kathryn admitted slowly. "I love him and I want him so much. It's really hard to resist the temptation and now its gotten more complicated," she said.

"How so?" B'Elanna asked.

"It's like Chakotay thinks he has to prove something to me by keeping his word," Kathryn explained.

"Oh yeah, that sounds like Chakotay all right. He gave you his word now he has to keep it, stupid p'tak!" B'Elanna said annoyed at her 'big brother'.

"Don't be so judgmental of him until you hear what I did when he gave me my engagement ring," Kathryn said in defense of Chakotay.

"He had proposed right after Miral was born and then later that evening he gave me the engagement ring. I was so overwhelmed by his giving me the ring and the things he said that, well I responded to him in ways that I'm sure made him think I had changed my mind about our making love and so …well things got a little passionate," Kathryn explained.

"How passionate?" B'Elanna asked.

"Lets just say Chakotay thought he'd hit a home run," Kathryn answered.

"And then what happened?" B'Elanna asked.

"I stopped him and reminded him of the promise he had made only that morning," Kathryn replied.

"How did he react to that?" B'Elanna inquired.

"He was furious. He thought I was playing the tease or testing him to see whether he'd keep his word. I don't think I've ever seen him so angry and that anger was directed at me. And that really frightened me," Kathryn confessed.

"Oh, why?" B'Elanna asked.

"I couldn't believe he could be so angry at me and still love me and want to marry me. I offered him the engagement ring back, it was the hardest thing I've ever done," Kathryn explained.

"Obviously he didn't take the ring back," B'Elanna observed.

"No, in fact he seemed really stricken that I'd even think to give it back. Later after he'd gone to sickbay he called me"…

"Wait, why'd he go to sickbay?" B'Elanna asked in confusion.

"Oh well, when I stopped him he fell off the couch and hit the coffee table, he cracked a couple of ribs," Kathryn explained.

"Oh Kahless," B'Elanna said and laughed at her dear friend's predicament. "I'm sorry, I interrupted you. What did he say when he called you after his little detour to sickbay?" she asked.

"He said he was sort of glad it happened because he needed to understand that I didn't know what unconditional love was and I needed to see his temper," Kathryn replied.

"You know, I don't think I knew what unconditional love was until Tom came into my life. And when you're not accustomed to it, it takes some getting used to, but when you do get used to it, it's the most wonderful thing in the universe," B'Elanna reassured Kathryn.

"You know what, I think we've stalled about as long as we can. I think we better go back in there and talk to our men," B'Elanna said as she started to carry her daughter into the living area. When they rejoined the men they found them draining the last of their beers and laughing.

"What's so funny?" B'Elanna asked as she handed Miral to Tom.

"Uh," Tom said and looked at Chakotay for an instant, "guy stuff".

"Oh, I'll just bet we ladies would understand." B'Elanna argued.

"You probably would but Tom's being a nice 'brother-in-law' and saving face for me, OK?" Chakotay cajoled, and then motioned to Tom to let him hold his niece for a while.

"Yeah and I've no idea why I'm doing you favors after the way you wiped the floor with me in the flight simulators the other day," Tom quipped as he handed Miral over to her Uncle Chakotay.

"Hey, you're a really good pilot Tom, you just haven't had the actual battle experience in a fighter that I've had," Chakotay said while he cradled Miral in his arms, trying to encourage Tom.

"Is he really that good a pilot, Tom? I mean with his record with shuttles I wasn't sure I should let him do this," Kathryn teased.

"Yeah well, I think I got it figured out. In order for him to bring a shuttle in without a scratch you probably ought to have someone trying to shoot him out of the sky," Tom answered.

They all laughed and then Paris asked Chakotay, "By the way, where did you learn to fly like that?"

"My first duty station out of the Academy was the USS Griffin. I served as a fighter pilot during the early part of the second Cardassian War from 2355 to 2357," Chakotay replied, his demeanor changed becoming decidedly more somber and he handed Miral off to Kathryn.

"The Griffin!" Tom exclaimed. "Man, I remember in the academy being told that the captain of that ship would have been court-martialed for his reckless disregard for his crew's safety had he survived his tour of duty. My flight instructor said the life expectancy for a Griffin fighter pilot was about 3 months."

"Yes, we lost a lot of good pilots to that mad man's 'vision' as he called it," Chakotay said bitterly.

"But you survived 2 years of combat flights under him?" Tom asked.

"Yes, and I lost a lot of friends. By the end of the first year I got a bit wary of even making friends among the other pilots and more than a little tired of flying a fighter. As soon as I got the chance I transferred off," Chakotay admitted.

"Well, I hate to say this Chakotay, but I'm glad you'll be piloting Voyager should we run into trouble rather than out there risking your neck in a fighter," Kathryn said as she cuddled Miral to her.

"Yeah well, I wish I could say the same. Tom's going to be out there in one of those fighters and my heart's going to be in my throat the whole time," B'Elanna said and then glared at her husband and 'brother' and reached out to Kathryn to take Miral in her arms.

"If it makes you feel any better B'Elanna, he'll be in the Delta Flyer and that's the best shielded, fastest of the fighters and other than Neelix's gunship or Voyager it's got the best armament," Chakotay said to try to reassure B'Elanna.

"Speaking of Neelix's ship who's going to pilot that ship?" Kathryn asked.

"Neelix is," Chakotay answered as he perused the dining table for something to stick in his mouth so he could avoid answering her next question.

"And who will be the weapons officer?" Kathryn asked the question Chakotay had been dreading, so he made a big show of having his mouth too full of cheese to answer and so Tom did it for him.

"Icheb is going be his gunnery officer," Tom said and waited for the explosion.

"Absolutely not! Chakotay don't tell me you've approved of having that boy out in the middle of a dog fight?" Kathryn said to Chakotay in a challenging tone.

"Calm down, you'll upset the baby," Chakotay said by way of stalling.

"Answer my question, Chakotay. Do you approve of Icheb being Neelix's gunnery officer?" Kathryn demanded.

"Yes, I do and before you get all up in my face about it, let me explain. First, with the new shielding Neelix's ship is as safe as Voyager would be, if not safer, as it won't be the major target of the pirates. Second, Icheb is not a boy; he's a young man. Third, he understands the armament in Neelix's ship better than anyone except Seven and she's going to be Tom's gunner. Finally, he's actually the best gunner we have, I suppose because of those youthful reflexes or something to do with his having been Borg." With that Chakotay sat down next to Kathryn and waited for her to argue with him some more.

"Well, if you're sure it's OK," Kathryn said.

Chakotay leaned forward and placed his hand on her forehead as though he were checking for a fever and said, "Well you don't have a fever but you must be sick, you're not arguing with me about this."

Kathryn swatted at him and said, "Oh you, stop it. I can be reasonable you know."

"Couldn't prove it by me," he responded before thinking through what he was going to say.

"No, I suppose not," she said very softly and obviously very upset as his comment brought back the crux of their earlier discussions.

"Hey," Chakotay said and put one of his large hands on her chin to tilt her face up towards him, "I didn't mean that to sound like I was complaining, OK?"

"OK," she said in a soft voice with her blue eyes shining and locked on his.

Tom and B'Elanna looked at each other and silently nodded to each other. They knew that Kathryn and Chakotay were going to be all right after all, with a little help from their friends.

"Hey you two, if you need some help getting through your engagement and you get tired of double dating the likes of Billy and Celes you're welcome to come join us," Tom offered.

"Thank you, we probably will, especially if we get to hold Miral," Kathryn said.

Before anyone could say anything more the red alert Klaxon sounded and Tuvok announced "Red Alert, Battle Stations, senior staff report to the bridge. Fighter pilots and weapons officers report to your ships."

At that everyone in the room started to scatter and as B'Elanna started to the door with Miral in her arms Chakotay said with a note of concern in his voice, "Where are you going?"

"First to sickbay, Miral with be safe with her Godfather. Then I'm going to engineering. Now you better hurry up. I hear you have a ship to pilot while my husband goes and gets his rear end shot off," B'Elanna replied.

As the shuttle bay was on the same deck as Tom and B'Elanna's quarters, everyone but Tom got in the turbolift. Just before the turbolift doors shut Chakotay yelled at him, "Don't let anyone launch until they get orders from the bridge."

As the doors closed Tom's "Aye sir," could be faintly heard.

B'Elanna requested deck five and Kathryn asked for the bridge. Miral was awake and alert throughout the tumult but remained quiet. Chakotay noticed this and commented with a smile, "She's going to be a cool one that niece of mine."

"I'm hoping she takes after her namesake there beside you more than her dad or her 'uncle'," B'Elanna said just as she got off the turbolift.

June 5, 2378 1810 Bridge

The turbolift continued on up to the bridge and as soon as the doors opened Kathryn barked, "Status Mr. Kim."

She continued down to her command seat and before she could even take it, Chakotay was tapping the ensign at the helm on the shoulder and indicated with his thumb that the officer should relinquish his seat to Chakotay.

"Our remote sensor probes show at least 13 vessels coming out of the sensor blind of the plasma storms. Unknown configurations but there appear to be 10 small fighter sized craft, 2 intermediate size vessels and 1 ship approximately the size of Voyager," Harry reported.

"Mr. Kim, relay that information to the shuttle bay. Tuvok, any indications that they are running with their weapons hot?" Chakotay asked as he began punching things up on the navigation console.

"The EM readings are suggestive of phasers on standby," reported Tuvok.

"Do you wish to raise shields and activate weapons systems, captain?" Tuvok asked.

"Chakotay, your opinion on that?" Janeway said deferring to her more battle experienced first officer.

"No, not yet. If we assume a defensive posture they will realize we've detected them and then we lose an element of surprise," Chakotay said.

"What we need now is a good educated guess on when they'll enter their effective weapons range," Chakotay said.

"At the speed they are approaching I would estimate 12 minutes," Tuvok said.

"Chakotay to Defenders, be prepared to launch in ten minute," the first officer ordered. "Immediately after they launch raise shields and arm all weapons, Tuvok."

"Aye Commander," Tuvok replied.

"Mr. Kim, keep me informed of the pirates' progress. Don't want to get caught napping here," Chakotay added.

"Aye sir," Harry replied.

The next nine minutes passed almost painfully slowly as everyone waited for the pirates to get close enough for battle to ensue.

"Defender 1 to bridge," came Tom Paris' voice.

"Bridge here," answered Janeway.

"We're ready to launch whenever you give the word," Tom said.

"Chakotay?" Janeway asked.

Chakotay turned around in the pilot's seat and nodded, "Tell them to launch."

"God speed Defenders, you're clear to launch at your discretion," Janeway said.

"Harry, give me a clue about the arrangement these ships are flying in," Chakotay requested.

"The largest vessel is coming in at 0 mark 090 then the two larger vessels are coming in from 045 mark 120 and 135 mark 060, the ten smaller craft are flying in two V formations ahead of the two medium sized vessels," Harry replied.

"Defenders deploy in standard octahedral formation for now, until we see a reason to do otherwise. Make your weapons hot," Chakotay ordered.

Six 'aye sirs' came in from Tom Paris, Neelix, Mike Ayala, Pablo Baytart, Sue Jenkins and Debbie Lang, the six fighter pilots dubbed the Defenders.

The pirates' fighters began to make runs at Voyager, obviously trying to attack her weapons and shield generators but the deployment of Voyager's Defenders was thwarting that strategy. The pirates lost several fighters and one of their medium sized ships had sustained damage to its weapons system effectively eliminating them from the battle, so the pirates adopted a new strategy, trying to pick off the smaller, weaker defenders.

"Defender 3 to Voyager they've knocked out our propulsion. We've still got shields and phasers but we're sitting ducks out here," Sue Jenkins strained voice reported.

"Neelix can you maneuver in front of defender three to provide cover?" Chakotay asked as his hands sped over Voyager's navigation console.

"Can do," came the Talaxian's answer and the Baxial could be seen to maneuver in front of the crippled fighter/shuttle.

"Harry, get ready to tractor that ship into our shuttle bay, you're going to have about three seconds to do it," Chakotay ordered.

"Tuvok lay down withering fire fore, port and starboard. Neelix will have our six," Chakotay said as he initiated a maneuver he'd just programmed into the navigation console. Suddenly Voyager pivoted and swooped, ending up a few kilometers behind the disabled shuttle/fighter, Voyager and the Baxial effectively covering the small ship.

"Jenkins, we're going to tractor your ship in and for good measure we'll beam you off, so when the tractor beam engages lower your shields. Tuvok, lower the aft shields. Harry, activate the tractor beam and open the shuttle bay doors. Get that ship in here now. Transporter room, lock onto the crew and beam them to sickbay," Chakotay gave the successive orders quickly.

"Got it," Harry Kim announced and then added, "They're lowering their shields. Crew transport complete, Defender 3 is in the shuttle bay."

"Shields are back up," Tuvok announced.

Just then the Baxial launched a succession of photon missiles at two pirate fighters. The two ships went up in a pyrotechnic display and Icheb's voice came over the comm system in triumph, "Got 'em!"

"Cadet, maintain proper communications protocol," Chakotay barked at Icheb.

"Aye sir," came the cadet's embarrassed response.

Chakotay then added "Good shooting, Icheb."

The pirate ships suddenly began retreating and headed for the Super Badlands.

"Should we pursue them Commander?" Harry Kim asked.

"No, they're retreating to an area we can't scan and that they know well. Following them in there would be suicidal. Just make sure the sensor probes keep a sharp lookout for them. They'll probably be back and they may bring friends next time," Chakotay said as he stood from the navigation console and stretched to try to ease the tension that had built up in his back and shoulders during the fight.

Just as it dawned on him that he hadn't heard a peep out of Janeway during the entire skirmish she said, "Well done Commander, I've been in contact with sickbay and engineering they report no serious injuries and minimal damage. We should have everything repaired in about twelve hours including Defender 3," the captain announced.

"Hope the pirates give us that long," Chakotay said.

"Well, I think all personnel not regularly scheduled for this shift should get some food and a little rest and then we should convene a tactical analysis. Wouldn't you say Commander?" Janeway again deferred to him.

"Yes, that sounds good let's convene the senior staff at 2100 in the briefing room," Chakotay said.


	11. Chapter 11

June 5, 2378 1830 CSS Sentinel

Lieutenant Pakrité Gometa pondered the telemetry she was getting from the sensor buoy wondering if she could trust it at this extreme range. It seemed to indicate a large vessel, perhaps as large as a cruiser, of unknown configuration and there seemed to be a double wing of marauder fighters with their gunboats and destroyer coming out of the sensor shadow of the plasma storm area known as the Maelstrom. Pakrité hesitated another moment then decided to inform her commanding officer.

"Captain Kojima, telemetry from sensor buoy 12 seems to indicate a large vessel of unknown configuration about to come under attack by a double wing of marauder fighters and their support craft," she said as confidently as she could, realizing that if she was misinterpreting the data she would at the least be laughed at as a fool and at worst she might be diverting the Sentinel from his appropriate patrol.

"Can you put a 2 dimensional representation of the telemetry on the display screen?" Captain Terpe Kojima asked.

"Yes sir," Pakrité replied.

Kojima observed the display, which rendered the sensor telemetry into a series of blips on the main viewing screen, as Pakrité observed her captain. He was an unusual specimen of a Tépean male. At 1.75 meters he was a bit taller than the average Tépean male, but it was his combination of hair, eye and skin coloring that set him apart. Most Tépeans either had black hair with red highlights and dark mahogany-like skin with deep brown eyes or they had auburn hair with cinnamon-colored skin and light brown eyes or they had reddish blonde hair with a light bronze skin tone and green eyes. But Terpe had black hair with red highlights, cinnamon colored skin and green eyes. And it seemed to Pakrité that the ridges on his nose were more masculine than most men's, which perhaps offset the fact that the shells of his ears had the most delicate pleating leading up to their tips.

"Lieutenant did you hear me?" Captain Kojima asked.

"Uh, no sir. I'm sorry sir. I was thinking about the sensor display," Pakrité said as she blushed. She loathed the fact that she had the light bronze coloring of her race as it made it so obvious when she was embarrassed.

"Yes, well I agree with you that it does show an alien vessel about to come under attack by the marauders. So, do you think you could transfer the coordinates to the helm, so we might go and assist them?" Terpe said trying to hide his amusement. He knew she hadn't been daydreaming about the sensor display for he sometimes found himself daydreaming about her. Fortunately he was a little better about the timing of his daydreaming, but unfortunately for both of them she was his subordinate officer and so there was nothing they could do about the mutual attraction unless one of them transferred to another ship and then what would be the point.

"Yes sir, already done sir," Pakrité said.

Ensign Vidda Mangels a representative of the Dorvnon race and the ship's principal navigator spoke up, "Course laid in sir." Then he turned a bit and smirked up at Pakrité. At least she thought it was a smirk, it was difficult for her to read the facial expressions of Dorvnons, they were so pallid and their corn silk blonde mustaches and goatees obscured their mouths and then their cranial ridges made them look to her like they were perpetually worried.

"Engage engines at maximum sustainable cruising speed," the captain ordered.

"Aye sir," came the engineer's response.

"Lt. Gometa how long until we reach the coordinates?" the captain asked.

"At this speed," Pakrité hesitated a moment as she did the calculations, "approximately 10 hours."

"Ten hours," Kojima said sadly "unless this alien vessel is very well shielded and has a lot of fire power, all we'll be able to do is pick up survivors, if there are any." Kojima added dejectedly.

"Sir, look at the sensor display!" Mangels said excitedly.

"Well, the alien vessel has a little surprise of its own for the marauders doesn't it?" Kojima said as he noted 6 smaller blips emerge from the large one that had been on the screen previously.

The officers on the bridge of the Sentinel watched as the Marauders engaged Voyager and her Defenders. As they grew closer the quality of the telemetry improved until, at the end of the battle, they were able to observe the Baxial and Voyager sweep in to protect the damaged defender. They were also able to see the Baxial's missiles take out two more fighters.

As the marauders turned tail, the Sentinel's engineer Nubmité Shimaru said, "I'd like to meet the woman who commands that vessel, she's an incredible strategist."

"You don't know that it was a woman in command of that vessel, it could just as well have been a man who coordinated that battle plan," argued Mangels.

"No, if it were a man he would have foolishly chased the Marauders into the Maelstrom," countered Shimaru.

"Enough!" Captain Kojima ordered. "We know nothing about these people. It's senseless to speculate based on our own prejudices."

After his officers quieted down he continued, "Now, lets speculate on something we might actually know something about. How long do you think it will be before the marauders strike again?"

"Eight, maybe ten hours, it depends how long it takes them to get more fighters willing to go out against these new aliens," Shimaru responded.

"I concur," Mangels said. "I think it will be closer to ten because they will want to take out a heavier attack force than last time. So closer to ten hours I think."

"Good we should be there by then. Shimaru you have the bridge I'll be in my cabin should I be needed. And Lieutenant Gometa, as soon as we are in hailing distance let me know. I'd like to let that ship know that help is on the way and I'd also like to make sure they don't fire on us."

Kojima saw smiles and nodding heads all around.

June 5, 2378 2100 Briefing Room

"How are the repairs going, B'Elanna?" the captain asked as soon as the last of her senior staff seated themselves around the briefing room table.

"Well, we were very fortunate, damages consist mostly of burnt out EPS couplings. It will take a while to get them all repaired, but I'd say Voyager should be back to normal specs in about 7 hours. The news isn't as good for Shuttle/fighter three," B'Elanna answered.

"Oh, how extensive is the damage to Defender 3?" Janeway inquired.

"The propulsion unit is fried. We need to remove it, then replicate and install a new one. That's going to take at least 12 hours unless I get some extra hands, even then the fighter's small, we can only fit so many people in there," B'Elanna said.

"Take what you need from among any skilled engineers not on another critical repair," Chakotay ordered "And draft some security folks to do jobs requiring less engineering skills. Any pair of strong hands should be able to pull that propulsion unit out for you," he observed.

When Chakotay noticed Kathryn looking at him curiously, he explained, "We don't have any idea how long it will be before those marauders return, but my gut tells me it won't be as long as 12 hours."

"Well, I'm sure they are coming back," Harry Kim said with conviction.

"Why do you say that, Harry?" Janeway asked.

"Because just before I came in here, one of our probes picked up a blip coming out of the Badlands and then the probe stopped transmitting. I think the marauders took it out to prevent us from detecting them early like we did this time. I repositioned the other probes to compensate for the lost probe and I don't think the marauders have noticed those other probes yet." Harry explained.

"Good job Harry," the captain said.

"Should we deploy another probe to the area?" Tuvok asked.

"Doing that might alert them that we have other probes," Chakotay said.

"Or not doing so could," Tuvok countered.

"How many more probes do we have in reserve, Tuvok?" Janeway asked.

"There are three at this moment but more could be fabricated," Tuvok answered.

"All right replace the one they took out but try to locate it somewhere useful without it being exactly where the previous one was," Janeway ordered.

"Doctor, anything significant to report from Sickbay?" Janeway asked.

"No thankfully none of the injuries sustained were serious enough to keep anyone here in sickbay, all crew have been certified for active duty," the EMH reported.

"That's wonderful to hear," Janeway responded.

"Neelix, first let me congratulate you on an excellent job of piloting and second let me ask you, have you had a chance to check on crew morale?" Janeway said, both praising the Talaxian and asking him to put his other hat on, so to speak.

"Thank you captain, but really with what the engineering crew did to the Baxial's engines and navigation console, I barely had to think and she responded. As to crew morale, it's pretty good. People are a little nervous, but not overly so. I think its good we have some repairs to do, busy hands leave less time for active imaginations to go astray," Neelix reported.

"Well, I've never thought of disabled systems in that light before, but let's hope your right," Janeway said.

"Tom, how are our fighter pilots doing?" Janeway asked.

"Everyone was sort of nervous at first, but I think that all settled down after the first exchange of fire," Tom reported.

"Did anyone else think that the pirates were a little slow in changing tactics? And a little quick to turn tail?" he asked.

"Yes, but that was to be expected, they're criminals not trained military," Chakotay said.

"I concur and we should exploit that," Tuvok added.

"How?" Chakotay asked.

"They've attempted two different strategies and neither has been terribly successful. We should anticipate that they will employ similar tactics but with greater numbers," Tuvok stated, he seemed to be waiting for Chakotay to contradict him.

"Yes, I think you are right. A pirate fleet rarely has too many different tactics at its disposal. They just don't have the trained personnel for it. So we should expect the same tactics but with more ships," Chakotay said.

"Well, my recommendation is that everyone pitch in on repairs where they can and grab a little sleep if possible, before the next round of attacks," Janeway said by way of dismissal.

As her officers began to file out she called out, "Chakotay, would you stay a moment."

He stopped and came back and smiled at her. After waiting for the door to close behind the last person out, he asked, "Are we officially on duty?"

"Uh no, I think we are off duty. Why?" she asked hesitantly.

"Because I've always wanted to do this, here." Chakotay answered as he picked her up and settled her on the briefing room table, and then he stepped between her legs and started kissing her passionately. His hands roamed over her body like they had an urgent mission.

After a few moments, Kathryn pushed him away and gasped for breath.

"I see you've had a healthy fantasy life," she said and they both laughed.

"Uh huh," Chakotay answered and came back for more kisses, but Kathryn held him at bay.

"Chakotay, please I just wanted to tell you what a fine job I thought you did of controlling that battle and to ask you what you really think about the next battle," Kathryn said seriously.

Her tone got his attention and he settled himself down. "Thanks, but it went well because the fighter pilots we had really paid attention to their training. That makes a lot of difference in this kind of situation. As to the upcoming battle, I'm nervous yet somehow I have this gut feeling it will be OK, which is weird because my common sense is screaming that we're in trouble. I'm not sure which voice to listen to," Chakotay admitted.

"Let's hope your gut is right again," Kathryn said.

"Come on, let's go see if we can help the engineering staff any," she said and began leading him from the room by the hand.

"Oh OK," he said then just as they reached the doorway he stopped and pulled her back saying, "Just one more kiss".

"Oh all right," she said not able to resist the pleading look in his eyes.

He pushed her up against the bulkhead and began plundering her mouth with his tongue. His hands were busy too, one hand kneaded her breast while the other cupped her ass and pressed her to him.

Finally he let her go and she looked up at the almost feral look on his face and said, "Wow, that was some kiss!"

He laughed and the spell was broken. They left the briefing room to go help make their ship as ready as it could be for the next pirate attack.

June 6, 2378 0230 Bridge of the CSS Sentinel

Pakrité should have gone off duty hours ago but she was determined to contact the alien vessel by subspace and she wasn't leaving until she did, but she was getting terribly frustrated. She was beginning to suspect that the marauders might have deployed a subspace-jamming probe. If she could find it and determine how it was operating, she thought she might be able to punch through the interference.

"Kojima to bridge," the captain's voice sounded over the communication link.

Second officer Rarger Meoish, a Meoan, replied in his normal purr of a voice, "Aye sir, what can we do for you, captain?"

"Haven't we been able to contact that alien ship yet?" Kojima asked sounding impatient.

Meoish turned toward Lieutenant Gometa, "Anything Lieutenant?"

"No sir, I think the marauders may have deployed a subspace-jamming probe. I'm trying to locate it and determine how it's operating so I can overcome the interference," Pakrité replied.

"All right keep working on it. Kojima out," the captain said as he closed the communication link.

June 6, 2378 0230 Bridge of Voyager

Harry Kim wasn't sure, but it looked as though there was a large vessel approaching Voyager from the direction they were traveling. More than that, he thought the vessel might be trying to hail them, but there was so much static on subspace he couldn't be sure. He didn't want to call the captain to the bridge without good reason, because he was hoping she might be catching a few hours sleep, but he wasn't entirely sure what he should do with his suspicions. Then he had an inspiration, he'd call Seven of Nine in to help clear up the distortion in subspace and to hopefully help him refine the forward scans.

"Kim to Seven of Nine," he said to open a communications link.

"Seven of Nine here. What do you require Ensign Kim?" came Seven's crisp reply.

"Your assistance Seven, I need to enhance our forward scans and eliminate some interference in subspace," Kim replied.

"I will assist you from here," Seven said.

Kim checked his forward sensors a few minutes later and found he could now be sure there was a large vessel coming towards Voyager. He had to contact the captain despite the hour.

"Kim to Janeway," he said.

"Janeway here. What is it Harry?" from the quick response and the sound of her voice, Harry was sure the captain was not sleeping, in fact from the background noise it seemed likely she was in the shuttle bay.

"Captain, we've got a large vessel coming our way, not from the Super Badlands but from ahead of us. Also, I think we may have a subspace communications trying to come in, but there's a lot of subspace interference. I've got Seven of Nine helping me to try and clear it up."

"We'll be right up, Janeway out," the captain said.

Harry Kim surmised that by we, she meant Commander Chakotay would be with her.

A few minutes later Janeway and Chakotay came on to the bridge. Both had taken the time to change into most of their uniform, though neither was wearing a jacket.

"So Harry, what have we got?" Janeway said.

"Well, we've got a large vessel coming towards us at high warp, it should reach us in two hours. We also seem to have an incoming subspace message, but there's a lot of interference, so we can't tell what it says," Harry reported.

"Well, let's look at it this way, if there are civilizations near this Super Badlands, it seems reasonable that they might patrol this area, and if they caught sight of us on their scanners they might try to hail us. What bothers me, is this subspace interference," Chakotay said, thinking out loud.

"Harry, is there any indication this could be some form of jamming?" Janeway asked.

"The thought has crossed my mind that this is a form of jamming, but it's so random I can't fathom how they are doing it," Kim said.

"They are using interleaved fractal algorithms," Seven of Nine stated in her normally abrupt manner as she exited the turbo lift.

"Mr. Kim, if you will allow me," Seven of Nine said as she moved into his area behind the operations console and began inputting various commands. "I believe if we use an inverse covariant band pass filter in combination with a Fourier analysis, we may be able to screen sufficient noise from the signal to allow reception."

Shortly after Seven's statement a signal began coming through, it was still filled with static and the Universal Translator was not able initially to interpret the message but there was something in the tone of voice of the speaker that was reassuring. Eventually, Seven of Nine and Harry Kim working together got the message cleaned up enough that the Universal Translator could render a coherent message.

"Unidentified vessel, this is the CSS Sentinel. We witnessed your recent battle with the Marauders from the Maelstrom. We believe they will be back to attack you again and in larger numbers. We are making best speed towards you and wish to assure you that we will provide to you every support we can," the translated voice said.

"Looks like the cavalry is on its way," Harry said. "Uh, no offense Commander," he added a moment later.

"Huh, what?" Chakotay said, and then suddenly he got the implication that the cavalry were the enemy to ancient Northern Native Americans. Instead of saying something simple like 'no offense taken', he remembered something he'd said to Paris once and it seemed fitting, so he smiled and said, "Wrong tribe, Harry."

"I think we better send a response to them so they know that we won't shoot first and ask questions later," Janeway said. "Now anyone got any ideas how we can punch through this subspace jamming?"

"We should send it on all subspace frequencies. The jamming cannot be effective on all frequencies and our counterparts on the Sentinel should be able to piece the message together from the various fragments that get through on different frequencies," Seven of Nine offered.

"OK, lets try sending this message," the captain said. "CSS Sentinel this is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the USS Voyager. We received your message and are grateful for any assistance you can offer us. We look forward to rendezvousing with you in a few hours."

"Repeat it on all frequencies, highest gain we can muster," Janeway said to Harry.

"Chakotay, my ready room please," Kathryn said.

"Yes ma'am," Chakotay replied.

Once they were inside the ready room Kathryn whirled about and asked Chakotay, "Well what do you think of this latest development? Is it crunch time?"

"Maybe" he grinned at her, he knew she'd probably make some comment about his calling her ma'am. He usually only did it to get under her skin but this time, it was a bit of a message about the seriousness of their situation. "I think its good and bad news. As I said it makes sense that this area might be patrolled and the message sounded sincere. I almost feel like a Star Fleet border patrol unit has hailed us. However, on the down side, if the 'Marauders', as the Sentinel's crew calls them, are jamming subspace, then they have a pretty good idea that this patrol ship is out here. They may be aware of its location and its cruising speed. I suspect they will jump us soon so as to avoid entanglement with the Sentinel," Chakotay concluded.

"I was thinking the same thing. Well, looks like we better get back down to the shuttle bay and see if we can get that damaged fighter ready ASAP," Kathryn said.

"Oh and Chakotay," Kathryn said as they were walking towards the ready room's exit, "What's your gut tell you?"

"That everything is going to be fine, truly fine." Chakotay said.

"Why do you say that?" Kathryn asked.

"Because not only is the crew of the Sentinel going to come to Voyager's rescue, I believe its captain may come to mine, personally," Chakotay said with a broad smile.

"What do you mean?" Kathryn asked as they headed for the turbolift that would take them to deck nine.

"Well, if their culture has the same traditions as ours," Chakotay said as he stepped into the turbolift, "deck nine," he said to the computer, "maybe he can marry us," Chakotay said as the turbolift started down, then he grabbed Kathryn to him for a quick but passion filled kiss.

As she pulled out of his embrace as the turbolift car stopped at deck nine, she smiled at him and said, "Maybe, maybe he can at that. Now all we have to do is survive long enough to ask him."

June 6, 2378 0300 Bridge of Sentinel

Pakrité was very tired and so for a moment she thought she might be seeing things but no, there were definitely subspace messages coming in on all frequencies, or maybe she realized, there might be one subspace message being sent out on all frequencies in hopes of defeating the jamming. She began trying to isolate messages that seemed to have the least amount of static in them and then had the computer try to overlay the messages in hopes of piecing together the message. After a few moments she had the message reconstructed, now she just had to wait for the general interpretation program to decipher the language.

"Gometa to Kojima," she said calling the captain to inform him of the news.

"Yes Pakrité, what is it?" His gentle reply came over the intercom and made Pakrité blush, he probably assumed she was calling from her quarters and not the bridge otherwise he would never have called her by her first name.

"Sir, I've just managed to pull a subspace message from the jamming, I believe it's from the alien vessel. The interpretation program is working on it now. I believe we'll have the results in a few minutes," Pakrité reported.

"Fine I should be on the bridge by then. Good Work, Lieutenant. Kojima out" Kojima replied.

On his way to the bridge, Terpe Kojima cursed himself for not being more careful. He knew several of his officers suspected his affection for Pakrité and a few of the Tépeans still had trouble with having a male captain. They might use his attraction to Pakrité against him, even though the two of them had never done anything that was against regulations. It seemed so unfair to him that fate would put the woman he loved under his command. And their alternatives didn't seem all that attractive. Pakrité could transfer to another posting and then they would be free to pursue a relationship, but what would it amount to – a few days here and there, stolen between her duty assignments and his. Just as he reached that dismal point in his reverie the lift doors opened onto the bridge.

"So what have we got Gometa?" he asked as he walked over to her post.

"The interpreter program is almost finished," she said.

"Here it is, the voice is an approximation of course," she reminded him.

"CSS Sentinel, this is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the USS Voyager. We received your message and are grateful for any assistance you can offer us. We look forward to rendezvousing with you in a few hours," the message said.

"Good, they know we are on our way and they sound friendly. It also seems as though Shimaru was correct, the ship's captain does seem to be a woman, at least if the interpreter program is correct," Kojima added.

"Well, let's keep a sharp lookout, if the marauders realize we're in the vicinity, which the subspace jamming seems to indicate, they will probably attack sooner than later, trying to take Voyager before we can get there to assist them. Have the fighter crews on standby," he ordered.

June 6, 2378 0330 Shuttle Bay

"I would never have believed we could pull an impulse engine and replace it in that brief a period," B'Elanna said as she slid to the floor exhausted.

Janeway joined her as Chakotay wander off from the two women. "Where are you going?" she called after him.

"To get you two some food and coffee," he yelled back at them from across the bay in front of its one lone food replicator.

"Smart man, that fiancé of yours," B'Elanna said to Kathryn.

"Yes, I think I'll keep him," Kathryn replied with a smile.

When Chakotay returned with coffee and sandwiches, the two women looked as though they'd fallen asleep and he fought with himself about whether to wake them or not, even though that gut instinct of his was telling him an attack was imminent.

"Well are you going to stand there like a statue or are you going to give us our coffee?" Kathryn said, startling Chakotay so badly he nearly dropped the food and coffee.

He recovered quickly and said, "You only get the coffee if you eat the sandwiches too."

"All right," Kathryn said and reached for the coffee, which Chakotay pulled out of her way like a matador pulling the cape away from a bull.

"Ah ah, sandwich first," he said firmly.

"Oh all right," Kathryn said in annoyance. She then took a half sandwich from the platter and without looking first to see what it was, put a big bite in her mouth and began chewing.

As Chakotay and B'Elanna began eating their sandwiches, it finally dawned on Kathryn what she was eating.

"Ooh yuck, cream cheese and grape jelly?" she said in disbelief.

"Oh, you must have gotten my sandwich," B'Elanna said, then turned to Chakotay and said, "thanks for remembering."

"Your welcome," Chakotay said around a mouthful of sandwich, "your favorite's on the plate there somewhere too, honey, if you just hadn't been in such an all fired hurry to get to the coffee, you might have looked first."

Kathryn put down the offending sandwich and gave Chakotay a look, partly for scolding her and partly for calling her honey, then looked at the plate and did indeed find her favorite sandwich.

"Don't give me that look," Chakotay said, "We're eating, we agreed during a meal break we are not on duty. So I think I should be allowed to call you honey if I want to," he said like a petulant little boy.

"We are not alone," Kathryn countered.

"You have a problem with my calling my fiancée honey when we are not on duty, but in your presence, B'Elanna?" Chakotay asked.

"Oh, no you don't. Don't you dare pull me into the middle of this sort of argument," B'Elanna said as she laughed.

Before Kathryn or Chakotay could say anything more she stood up, took her sandwich and coffee and said, "Besides, I'm going to sickbay to check on my baby, so you two will be alone. See ya."

"See ya, give Miral a kiss from us too," Kathryn said.

Kathryn and Chakotay sat in companionable silence for a few moments, eating their sandwiches, when Kathryn noticed that Chakotay was eating sandwiches as though he were in some sort of speed eating contest.

"Chakotay, slow down, you'll choke if you wolf down your food like that, besides it's rude," Kathryn said, sounding surprisingly like her own mother.

Chakotay swallowed what he had in his mouth, then said, "Sorry, but I just have this sense that we should hurry because those pirates are going to attack again at any moment," he replied then drained his coffee cup.

"I'm going to get up to the bridge," Chakotay said as he stood up.

"Wait a second, give me a hand up and I'll go with you," Kathryn said.

"Red alert, all hands to their duty stations, repeat red alert."

"OK, who needs sensors, from now on we just listen your gut, your sixth sense," Kathryn said as she and Chakotay jogged toward the turbolift.

June 6, 2378 0340 Voyager's Bridge

"Mr. Kim report," Janeway requested as she entered the bridge.

"We read 15 small fighter craft, 3 of the medium size vessels and the large vessel that we encountered before," Kim reported.

"Time to intercept?" Chakotay asked as he took over the helm again.

"Fifteen minutes unless we alter course, sir," Kim replied.

"No, we have help coming towards us, the longer we can run towards that help the better," Chakotay responded.

"Chakotay to engineering." he said.

"Vorik here sir," the young Vulcan responded.

Chakotay looked back at Kathryn and said "Vorik we need to try to run, at least for a short time, at maximum warp, keep a close watch on the engines."

"Yes sir," Vorik replied.

Chakotay increased Voyager's cruising speed to warp 9.975, the ship had been through so much over the years, he wasn't sure how long the game little ship would take the strain of running at that speed, but even if they could only sustain it for a few minutes they'd put a good deal of space between them and the marauders and get closer to their reinforcements.

"Engineering to Bridge," B'Elanna's voice came over the comm line a minute later, "the engines can't take this for much longer, Voyager's really not up to maximum warp for sustained periods."

"She doesn't have to be B'Elanna," Chakotay said as he reduced speed.

"Harry how long until the marauders overtake us now?" Chakotay asked.

Harry took a moment to consult the sensors. "We bought an additional fifteen minutes with that burst, it'll be a half hour before they catch up with us," Harry reported.

"And we're that much closer to the Sentinel," Chakotay said.

June 6, 2378 0345 Sentinel's Bridge

"Sir, sensors show marauders emerging from the plasma storm and it seems Voyager has put on a burst of speed, she was up to approximately warp 9.98 for a minute, sir," Gometa reported.

"She's trying to reach us before the marauders get to her," Kojima said.

"Let's see if we can get a message through to them now, we're a lot closer and we know the game the marauders are playing with communications," Kojima said.

"Yes sir, attempting to establish a subspace link now. Try it now sir, I think we've got a clear frequency," Gometa replied in a weary voice.

"USS Voyager, this Captain Kojima of the CSS Sentinel, are you receiving us?" Kojima asked.

"Yes Captain Kojima, we are receiving you. Do you have the ability to transmit visually?" Janeway's voice asked.

Kojima nodded to Gometa to try to establish two-way visual communications. In a moment the Sentinel's main view screen showed the bridge of the Voyager and Voyager's main screen showed the bridge of the Sentinel.

"Ah, there you are Captain Janeway. I assume your recent burst of speed was to get away from our local nuisances, the Marauders from the maelstrom," Kojima said as he took in as much of the other ship's bridge as he could. The crew of Voyager seemed to possess at least two different races and one of them looked nearly like a Tépean with his dark hair and coloring and pointed ears, he was merely missing the nose ridges. The rest looked to be of another race that possessed neither pointed ears nor nose ridges. With the exception of the captain, all of the officer's on the bridge appeared to be male and the male who was seated furthest forward had an intriguing marking on his face.

"Yes, we wanted to get closer to you before having to engage them in battle, so that we might not have to fight them alone for too long a time. They have increased their forces by 50%." Janeway responded as she took in the people she saw on the screen. The captain looked to her like a cross between a Bajoran and an Ocampan and she found his cinnamon colored skin and green eyes striking. One of his crew looked like a Klingon who had been bleached out and in the background there was what looked like a humanoid version of a black jaguar.

"We will continue towards your position at our best speed captain, you may have to fight them alone for a while but I promise we will be there. Hold on Voyager, Kojima out," he said and motioned for the communication to be terminated.

"Shimaru, can we make a short run at maximum warp?" Kojima asked.

"Yes sir, but not for long, we've been running at maximum cruise a long time as it is," Shimaru responded.

"What's the max you think we can get a way with?" the captain inquired

"No more than a minute," Shimaru replied.

"Helm increase to maximum warp for 60 seconds," Kojima ordered.

June 6, 2378 0347 Voyager's Bridge

"Well, now I'm sure we're going to be OK," Chakotay said with a laugh.

"Why do you say that Chakotay?" Janeway asked curiously.

"Didn't you see that black jaguar on their bridge?" Chakotay asked. "That's got to be a good sign," he concluded.

"I hate to report this but the Marauders are increasing their speed," Harry said. "I think they are trying to compensate for our burst of speed."

"Chakotay to Torres, B'Elanna, are the engines up to one more short burst at maximum warp?" He asked.

"I almost wish I could say no, but yes you can 'floor it' again, but keep it short, no more than 45 seconds," Voyager's chief engineer replied.

Chakotay keyed in maximum warp for 50 seconds and Voyager surged ahead again.

"Torres to Chakotay, do you have death wish?" B'Elanna screamed at him through the comm. line.

"We're still in one piece aren't we?" Chakotay countered.

An incoherent growl could be heard over the comm line before the link was terminated.

"Harry, recompute ETA for pirates versa ETA for Sentinel." Janeway ordered.

"The pirates will reach us in 25 minutes and assuming we end up dropping out of warp to engage them, the Sentinel will reach us in 40 minutes." Harry reported.

"Can we hang in a dogfight with them for 15 minutes, Chakotay?" Janeway asked.

"We don't really have a choice now do we?" Chakotay answered, and then seeing the concerned look in Kathryn's eyes he added, "we can do it, we just have to be aggressive but careful."

"Chakotay to Defenders," he said, "Our adversaries will reach us in 25 minutes, check out your craft and be prepared to launch at that time."

"Chakotay, may I speak to you in my ready room?" Kathryn said.

"Of course," he replied and motioned for an ensign to cover the helm for him, then followed her to the ready room.

"Chakotay, your honest appraisal, what are our odds here?" she asked.

"Depends what you're asking; can we survive until the Sentinel reaches us? Definitely. Can we survive without any losses? Doubtful," Chakotay answered genuinely.

"What losses do you anticipate?" Janeway asked.

"I'm not sure, Voyager will undoubtedly take some damage and we'll probably lose some of the shuttle/fighters," Chakotay reluctantly admitted.

"And the pilots and their gunners?" she asked.

"It depends on the situation, we may be able to rescue them and maybe we won't. I can't predict that," Chakotay said.

"What would give them a better chance?" Kathryn pushed him for an answer.

"Wearing an EVA suit and keeping a helmet nearby. That way if the craft's going up, they could beam off and we could retrieve them. Still very dangerous, they'd be out there virtually unprotected in the middle of a dogfight. With all that phaser fire, well let's hope it won't come to that," Chakotay replied.

"You'll order them to wear the EVA suits?" Janeway asked.

"No, you will. Don't forget you're the captain here, just because you've put me in charge of the battle strategy doesn't mean I've suddenly usurped your command you know," Chakotay reminded her.

"Yes, of course, you're right. It's just, I don't know, watching you these last few days I've realized what a good captain you would make. Maybe Voyager should have been your ship after all," Kathryn mused.

"You know what? We'll have time to discuss this later." Chakotay said trying to break through her mood. "For right now, I suspect our absence is making the bridge crew nervous. Let's get back out there, OK?" he asked as he headed towards the door.

"OK, but just one more thing," Kathryn said.

"What?" Chakotay said in an almost exasperated tone.

"This," Kathryn said just before she pulled him to her for a passionate kiss.

When they finally broke off the kiss, Chakotay shook his head slightly, grinned and said with a little laugh, "Kathryn, you never cease to surprise me."

Janeway and Chakotay joined the rest of the bridge crew and Janeway called up the fighter pilots to order them to don EVA suits and keep their helmets ready, just in case.

Right on cue the pirates' large cruiser and 3 assault craft with their fighter escorts came into visual sensor range.

"Defenders, launch. Tuvok, as soon as the last ship clears the bay get Voyager's shields up and all weapons charged and ready," Chakotay ordered.

"Aye sir," came Tuvok's reply.

Soon Voyager, the Baxial and the Delta Flyer were all heavily engaged in combat. The shuttle/fighters were bobbing and weaving amongst the larger ships, trying to avoid taking a solid hit while simultaneously trying to do some damage. The pirate fighters tried to keep out of Baxial's range as Icheb had become adept at picking them off and was seriously depleting their numbers. At one point the large cruiser pulled back behind the three assault craft, which had formed a skirmish line. It looked as though the cruiser was simply going to wait for the other ships to do the work. When Chakotay saw that he got an idea.

"Voyager to Baxial and Delta Flyer. Tom, Neelix, flank me we're going to 'play chicken' with those three larger ships," Chakotay said.

"OK Chakotay sounds like fun" came Tom's reply.

"I'll take the one on the right," was Neelix's simple reply.

"You're going to do what, Chakotay?" the captain asked obviously alarmed.

"Play Chicken, just sit down and watch, I don't have time for distractions," Chakotay answered as he turned Voyager and headed straight for the center assault craft. The Delta Flyer headed for the left one and the Baxial headed for the one on the right just as Neelix had promised.

"We're 200,000 Kilometers from the vessel," Harry Kim reported.

The assault crafts began pouring phaser fire at the three Federation ships and the Federation ships returned the favor.

"Shields are at 86%," Tuvok announced.

"150,000 Kilometers," Harry reported again.

"Shields are down to 74%," Tuvok staed.

"100,000 Kilometers," Harry continued reporting their position as the assault craft continued to power on the phaser fire.

"Shields are down to 63%," Tuvok announced.

"Harry, Tuvok, shut up," Chakotay said in irritation.

When Voyager was 20,000 kilometers from the middle craft, or about two seconds from impact at the sub-light speeds the vessels were fighting at, the other ship's pilot 'chickened out' and veered to his port. Unfortunately, at the same time, the ship Neelix was aimed at veered to his starboard and the two ships collided. The resulting explosion turned the two ships into a lot of ionized gas and flying debris. Chakotay realized one particularly large chunk of debris was about to collide with Voyager, to avoid it he accelerated and banked the ship hard over to port. The inertial dampers could actually be heard straining.

"Engineering to Bridge, what the hell do you think you're doing with this ship Chakotay, it's NOT a fighter craft, you p'thak!" B'Elanna screeched at him over the comm. line.

"Defender 4 to Voyager, we've just lost shields and life support," Debbie Lang reported calmly.

"Tuvok, where's Voyager's strongest shielding area right now?" Chakotay asked.

"Aft port shields are at 60%," Tuvok reported.

"Defender 4 this is Voyager can you maneuver to Voyager's aft port section?" Chakotay asked.

"Yes sir, I think we can," Lang responded.

"OK, tuck in nice and close and we'll extend our shield to cover you," Chakotay said.

"Tuvok, make it so," Chakotay ordered.

"Harry is it my imagination or are they regrouping and heading back to the Badlands?" Janeway said as she looked over Harry Kim's shoulder at the sensor readouts.

"It's not your imagination and look, this is why," Harry Kim threw a magnified display of an incoming vessel that was every bit as big as the marauder's largest ship.

With the exception of Tuvok, everyone on the bridge let out a cheer for the CSS Sentinel and her crew. When the ship dropped out of warp a dozen fighter craft swarmed out and started a mop operation on any marauders that were straggling behind.

Chakotay leaned back in the chair he'd been sitting in and let out a sigh. Kathryn realized the man was probably physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted; so she decided she should start acting like the captain and began immediately giving orders to retrieve the Defenders and for damage and casualty reports to be forwarded from all departments.

"The Sentinel is hailing us, captain," Harry Kim reported.

"Put them on screen," Kathryn said.

"Congratulations, Captain Janeway, that was the most daring bit of fighting I think I've ever witnessed," Kojima said.

"Well don't congratulate me, congratulate my first officer Commander Chakotay," Kathryn said as she walked down and stood next to Chakotay and put a hand on his shoulder, "he's been in charge of all our combat strategies and was the one piloting this ship during the battle," she added proudly.

"Well, well done indeed Commander. I'd like to meet all of you in person to extend my congratulations and our confederation's hospitality. I assure you, the natives of this area are not all as cut-throat as the marauders," Kojima said with a charming smile.

"We'd be happy to meet with you and your command staff, perhaps you could give us a few hours to make things ship shape and well frankly to catch a little sleep. This is actually the middle of the night for some of us," Janeway replied.

"Ah, us too, actually. How about we have you all over for midday meal? That would be in about 8 hours," Kojima offered.

"Sounds good, uh how many of us could you accommodate?" Janeway asked.

"Well let's keep this first meeting small, say six of your people? Later we can look to having larger groups of your crew, maybe eventually your whole crew can visit ours and vice versa," Kojima said with a smile.

"All right then, we'll be over at 1200. And thanks again for coming to our assistance," Janeway said.

"You're welcome. Is there anything we can help you with in terms of getting things, how was it you put it, 'ship shape'?" Kojima asked solicitously.

"No, not that I can think of at this moment, perhaps when damage reports are in we will find something you can help us with," Janeway replied.

"Uh, captain I don't mean to interrupt, but there is one thing I'd like to ask the captain," Chakotay said.

"Please, commander, if there's anything I can do for such a gifted warrior I'd be honored to do so," Kojima responded.

"Well, I was wondering, in our culture the captain of a ship has certain powers that would ordinarily be held by government officials or clerics and I was wondering if it was the same in your culture," Chakotay said rather anxiously.

"I'm afraid I don't understand," Kojima said in confusion, wondering if the interpreter was malfunctioning.

"Well, the captain of our ship can perform a legally binding marriage ceremony, can you?" Chakotay said and suddenly everyone on the bridge understood what Chakotay wanted.

"No, I'm afraid a legitimate joining ceremony can only be performed by an ordained clergy and such a joining must take place on a planet's surface. Why do you ask? If your captain can perform a legitimate joining ceremony, then why would you need to ask a stranger to perform one for you?" Kojima asked.

Chakotay looked up at Kathryn and replied dejectedly, "She can't officiate at her own wedding ceremony."

Suddenly Terpe understood. This handsome warrior was in love with his captain. He envied them that they were free to marry, if only they could find a way. Being at heart a hopeless romantic he was determined to aid them, so he said, "My home world of Tépekan is only about a two week cruise from here and my sister is a priestess of our world's major religion. I will send her a subspace message asking her to marry the two of you, if you so desire."

Chakotay looked at Kathryn and she took his hand and answered for them both, "We do, we most definitely do."


	12. Chapter 12

June 6, 2378 1200 Officer's Mess CSS Sentinel

"Welcome Captain Janeway," said Terpe Kojima. "Please allow me to introduce my senior staff," he said as he introduced the members of his staff who were standing behind the chairs on the far side of a long dining table, clearly leaving the chairs on the near side to the Voyager's crew.

"Lieutenant Pakrité Gometa, my chief of operations," Kojima said as he indicated a beautiful Tépean female with tan skin, green eyes and what Kathryn would call strawberry blonde hair. Kathryn thought Lieutenant Gometa was probably a good 5 cm shorter than her, well that is if Kathryn's wasn't wearing her boots with the 10 cm heels.

"Commander Nubmité Shimaru, my chief engineer," Kojima said as he indicated a slightly older Tépean female with coloring similar to Tuvok's who was similarly as petite as Lieutenant Gometa.

"Lieutenant Vidda Mangels, my principal navigator," he said indicating the young man Kathryn had seen before, who she decided close up really did resemble a bleach blonde version of a Klingon. Though not as tall as many male Klingons she knew, Mangels did appear to be nearly as tall as Chakotay.

"Lt. Commander Rarger Meoish, head of security," Kojima said as he pointed to the bipedal black jaguar Chakotay had felt boded well for the outcome of things.

"Kiki Merouw, my chief medical officer," he said indicating another bipedal felinoid, this one resembling a cougar.

"And Eildan Vurgald, Fighter Squadron leader," he said indicating another bleached out Klingon, this one female.

"A pleasure to meet you all, I'm sure. Allow me to introduce my senior staff," Kathryn said.

"Lieutenant Harry Kim, Chief of Operations," she said, as Harry moved toward Pakrité, his opposite number and offered to shake hands, which caused a momentary pause as they worked out the differences in their cultures' greeting rituals.

"Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres, my chief of engineering," after her introduction, B'Elanna greeted her opposite number smoothly, having watched and learned from Harry. B'Elanna noticed the curious looks she was getting from everyone and assumed it was that she appeared to be so like the fair-haired members of their own crew.

"Lieutenant Tom Paris, Voyager's primary pilot and the pilot of the Delta Flyer during our recent skirmishes," Captain Janeway continued the introduction and Tom greeted Vidda, the other pilot, but kept his thoughts about how the other man looked like an albino Klingon to himself.

"Lt. Commander Tuvok, my Chief of Security," Janeway said.

"Live long and Prosper," Tuvok said as he raised his hand in a Vulcan salute and spoke the traditional Vulcan greeting. Rarger extended both paws in front of him and then flexed his claws in and out of the pads of his paws, as was his people's traditional greeting. Both security chiefs seemed satisfied with the greeting.

"Ambassador Neelix, our jack of all trades. He has been our guide to the Delta Quadrant, our chef, our morale officer and in this latest combat situation a good pilot of a freighter turned gunboat," Kathryn said.

For once, the effusive Neelix actually seemed content just to bask in his captain's praise and rather than say anything, he tried to greet the Sentinel officer opposite him, Kiki Merouw, whom he thought was rather lovely, without getting his hands shredded by her claws.

"And last but not least, my first officer Commander Chakotay," Kathryn said the depth of her affection evident both in the warmth of her voice and the way she looked at Chakotay.

"Please, everyone sit and the servers will bring foods in for us. We are a mixed lot as you can see. Rarger and Kiki are Meoans, their race are carnivores as you can well imagine. Vidda and Eildan are Dorvnons, their race like mine, the Tépean, are omnivores, but Eildan, our warrior prefers to be a vegetarian," Kojima said with a bit of a laugh. "So there should be fare here that all of you can eat, though I had imagined you would bring your doctor with you to check that."

"Tom will scan the foods for us, he assists our Chief Medical Officer as a medic. I didn't bring our CMO because he is a hologram and as such doesn't eat. Oh, and as to having a warrior who is a vegetarian, well we have our share on Voyager as well. Neither Chakotay, our master strategist, nor Tuvok, our security officer, eat meat by choice," Kathryn said.

The servers came out with platters of food and carafes of beverages and the two crews began a long and luxurious midday meal. The Voyager crew explained how they came to be so far from their home and the Sentinel crew explained a bit about the six races that made up their confederacy. They assured the Voyagers that there was more to the confederation than simply protecting each other from the marauders. In fact, most of the crew had either previously been or hoped in the future to be, assigned to a pure science vessel or an exploration vessel.

After a time the meal broke up and small mixed groups began to tour the Sentinel. Terpe, Chakotay, Pakrité and Kathryn making up the last group to leave the mess hall.

At some point Terpe and Chakotay realized they had a common interest in anthropology and began a comparisons of the major cultures of their two worlds, soon the two men had forgotten anyone else was with them.

"So, Earth had or still has many different cultures coexisting?" Terpe asked.

"Yes, though the cultures do tend to trade bits and pieces back and forth, but generally somewhere you can find an enclave still practicing the ancient traditions of one culture or another," Chakotay answered.

"Of course my own people took it to a bit of an extreme by moving to a new planet a few hundred years ago so they could preserve that culture. And of course, being the contrary that I am, I rejected those ways when I was young, only to come back later as a grown man to try to embrace them and find them nearly destroyed," Chakotay continued, growing sad as he finished.

"What had happened?" asked Pakrité.

Chakotay and Terpe both glanced over at her, having forgotten anyone else was there but themselves. Each man had a look on his face that was perhaps shock that they could become so wrapped up in a discussion as to forget the women each of them was in love with.

"A people called the Cardassians had a war with the Federation. As part of the treaty to end the war my home planet and a number of others were given to the Cardassians without the consent of those who lived on those planets. The people refused to leave and said they would simply give up their Federation citizenship and become Cardassian citizens. But that was not what the Cardassians wanted, so they began harassing the colonists in hopes of making them leave. Then some of the colonists banded together into a resistance group, but the odds were hopeless. They were up against a well-trained and well-supplied military. Eventually, after the Cardassians had slaughtered many people, including my father and other members of my family and village, I resigned from Star Fleet and joined the Maquis, as the resistance was known," Chakotay answered.

"At the time Star Fleet was too busy thinking about the letter of the law rather than the spirit of it and so the Maquis were considered outlaws," Kathryn added.

"And men and women like Chakotay, who had once been members of Star Fleet, were looked upon as even worse, as traitors. I'm not sure whether to think it fortunate or unfortunate, but Chakotay's great tactical skills made him so effective against the Cardassians that both they and Star Fleet planted spies in his resistance cell. Tuvok was Star Fleet's spy. Voyager was sucked into the Delta Quadrant when we were sent to retrieve Tuvok and arrest the notorious Maquis Rebel, the Jaguar, also known as Chakotay," Kathryn finished with a laugh.

"So it seems you caught your Maquis rebel, Kathryn. Though I must say matrimony seems to me to be a strange sentence," Pakrité teased.

"Ah and speaking of matrimony, I received a subspace message from my sister. She would be delighted to perform your joining ceremony, but she does have two requirements. One is a standard requirement of all couples married by any clergy of her faith and that is a meeting between the clergy and the couple to ascertain their suitability for and commitment to being joined. The other requirement is that the two of you select information about joining ceremonies from your cultures and send them to her, so she can incorporate your traditions into the ceremony," Terpe explained. "If you ask me, she's just indulging her weakness, she's as bad as me about being interested in other cultures," he added with a smile.

"I think we can accommodate her. Don't you think, Chakotay?" Kathryn asked with a teasing tone in her voice.

"Oh yes, most definitely," Chakotay answered with a smile.

June 8, 2378 1825 Kathryn's quarters

Kathryn found that she was incredibly anxious for Chakotay to arrive for dinner tonight, as they were to discuss their wedding plans. They'd gotten the proposed ceremony from Terpe's sister Marinkté and needed to go over it together, so they could send their suggestions for changes to her and get the ceremony set. Terpe and Pakrité were being wonderful about finding possible outdoor sites for the ceremony, a hall for the reception and making a list of caterers, florists and musicians they might want to hire. Kathryn felt that they simply had to invite the crew of the Sentinel, as well as their own crew. Kathryn realized she also needed to talk to Chakotay about announcements, invitations and wedding programs, getting holopictures of the ceremony, the bridal party - choosing who should be in it and what they should wear and what gifts they'd give the bridesmaids and groomsmen, the flowers and other decorations, the wedding cake, the food and drink for the reception, what song they'd want to dance their first dance to. There were just so many details that needed to be taken care of, she wondered if she could get it all done in the 12 days they had before they arrived at Tépekan.

The doors to her quarter slid open and her fiancé strode through saying, "Hi honey, I'm home."

Chakotay placed his hands on either side of her waist and picked her up above his head. She placed her hands on his shoulders and he twirled around while holding her, then let her slide down his body until she was standing on her own feet. He kissed her soundly and held her to him, after a moment she pushed him back a bit and laughing said, "This isn't your home yet, mister!"

"Ah, I'm just practicing," he said with one of his irresistible dimpled smiles.

"What's put you in such a wonderful mood this evening?" she asked.

"The thought that in twelve days you'll be my wife. Spirits that sounds so good, my wife!" Chakotay said with yet another huge grin on his face.

"Well, I'm glad that pleases you and even more pleased that you realize our wedding is only 12 days away because we've got a lot of planning to do," Kathryn responded.

"We need to fine-tune the ceremony and get it back to Marinkté; make a decision about the locations for the ceremony and the reception; choose the announcements and invitations and have a wedding program made up; decide who is going to be in the bridal party and what they should wear; decide on what pictures we want taken and when. We need to select the flowers and other decorations; decide on the wedding cake and the food and drink for the reception. Oh, and choose music for the processional and recessional and the reception," Kathryn finally wound down and then realized Chakotay had actually moved away from her to the replicator.

"Sweetheart, were you listening to me?" Kathryn asked.

"Yes honey, I just thought I'd get our dinner then we can eat while we look at the ceremony. When that's done, we can move on to the other issues. That okay with you?" Chakotay responded, trying to hide how much he loathed the idea of spending the evening going over the minutiae associated with planning a wedding. The only upside he could think of was that he couldn't imagine a bigger turn off than talking about invitations, programs, bridal wear and decorations; so maybe he could manage to spend most of the evening with her without his libido getting the better of him.

A little later that evening they had finished dinner and were still going over the details of the wedding ceremony. "I don't know, I think I'd like to keep that part of the archaic vows where you promise to be 'bonny and buxom at bed and at board', it sounds really good to me," Chakotay teased.

"It doesn't mean what it sounds like it means, and if you insist on keeping it, then I insist that it's not going to be traditional Mayan wedding attire for you, but a tuxedo or maybe a mourning coat with top hat," Kathryn countered.

"Okay, okay but can we keep the 'with this ring I thee wed and with my body I thee worship part'?" he asked sincerely.

"Yes, I think that part is beautiful," she replied.

"I like the blessing of the hands too, but maybe we should drop the stuff about the cardinal directions, otherwise the service is going to be awfully long, don't you think?" Chakotay reasoned.

"No, I don't want to leave that out its a part of your culture," she countered.

"But our manner of dress and the altar and arch will represent my culture, besides it's not exactly correct but I don't want to get into how it's wrong, OK?" Chakotay argued.

"Well okay, but look we're only getting married once, so our guests can sit through a slightly longer ceremony if necessary," she said firmly.

"Yeah, well just remember they get to sit, we'll be standing, as will our wedding party," Chakotay reminded her.

"Speaking of which, the Tépean tradition of hand fasting requires an incredible number of people in the wedding party, don't you think?" she asked.

"Well, yes it is quite a few, but with seven men and seven women at least we probably won't be slighting anyone," Chakotay replied. "Oh and remember we promised Naomi she could be in the ceremony? I've thought of a role for her," he added.

"What, flower girl?" Kathryn asked.

"Uh no, but I guess she could do that too, if you want a flower girl, but I was thinking she could be the person to light the candles. I think she's old enough to do that," Chakotay said.

"Oh, I think that's better than a flower girl. You know, we need to think about the gifts for the bridesmaids and groomsmen," Kathryn said thoughtfully.

Suddenly Chakotay saw his means of escape from this excruciating evening of planning their wedding and he was no fool, he took it.

"You know I'm going to have a lot more heishi beads than I need to make your necklaces. I could make some bracelets or earrings for the women," he said.

"Oh yes that would be marvelous for them to have something hand made by you, but what about the men?" Kathryn asked.

"Well, most of the guys I'm thinking of asking are Parisi Squares players, so maybe I could make them hand carved Parisi Squares mallets," Chakotay offered.

"Do you have time to do that?" she asked.

"Well, I think for the guys' presents I may need to cheat a bit and replicate regular wooden mallets and then I can do the carving, that won't take me as long as actually crafting the mallets would," Chakotay replied.

"I'll make the jewelry and then you decide who gets what piece, OK?" he suggested.

"All right and because you've been so good and so patient this evening when I know you've hated every minute of this planning, I'm going to let you go get started on those presents while I finish some of these plans. I think I actually probably need to get my bridesmaids together to do some planning," Kathryn said.

"Was it obvious that I wasn't exactly ecstatic about this?" he asked. "I thought I was doing a pretty good job of hiding it," he said with a grin.

"Well, actually you were, but somehow I could tell that the only thing you really enjoyed was bantering about the vows," Kathryn admitted.

"I'll be a lot more enthusiastic about planning the reception and the honeymoon," he said with a mock leer on the last word.

"I'll just bet you will," she said.

"Oh Kathryn, speaking of the reception, I had a thought about the traditions we discussed. Do you suppose we could rig it so Pakrité catches the bouquet and Terpe gets the garter?" Chakotay asked.

"Oh Chakotay, you're a hopeless romantic," she said as she noticed the gleam in his eye. "I suppose we can work something out. But don't get your hopes up, those two have to realize that they've got to make some sacrifices in their careers if they are to have what they want in they're personal lives."

"If we had met in the alpha quadrant and been in a chain of command like we are now, would you have been willing to make some sort of compromise in your career, so we could be together?" Chakotay asked, extremely interested in her reply.

"I don't know, for one thing if we hadn't been swept out here by the Caretaker I'd have married Mark and you'd have probably gotten yourself killed with all the rest of the Maquis," Kathryn responded.

"That's my little scientist, ever the realist. Can't you just answer a hypothetical question in the spirit it was asked in?" Chakotay asked with just a hint of a whine in his voice.

"Oh well, all right, I suppose we will have to face that issue when we get back in ten years," she conceded just a bit.

"Well yes, but that will be entirely different. We will have been married for ten years and hopefully have at least one child by then, that will make for some other considerations don't you think?" Chakotay asked.

"Yes, I suppose it will," Kathryn grudgingly admitted.

"You suppose it will, aren't you sure? I mean, are you planning to leave me and our child at home while you go off on some dangerous deep space mission that keeps you away from us for months at a time?" Chakotay asked somewhat alarmed.

"Oh, and why is it me off gallivanting on some mission and not you?" Kathryn asked.

"No, when we get back to the Alpha quadrant I want to find some nice place to live where I can hear the birds sing in the morning and feel the sun streaming through the windows, see the breeze blowing the curtains. I want to live somewhere where I can complain that it's too hot and muggy or too cold and damp. I want to eat tomatoes that grew out of our own garden. I want our child to feel the earth beneath her feet and see the same night sky above her head each night. I want to teach her about the seasons. Show her trees budding in spring and then those same trees turning to red and gold in the fall," Chakotay voice was growing thick with the emotion of longing for such simple things.

"Oh, Chakotay," Kathryn said as she came over and sat in his lap. She pulled his head to her and kissed his brow soothingly.

"Then that's exactly what we'll do. In fact, I have the perfect place for you, Indiana. It's too hot and muggy in the summer and too cold and damp in the winter, but it has beautiful trees and tomatoes do wonderfully there," she said and kissed him again.

"OK, now you go work on those gifts for our wedding party and I'm going to get the rest of this planning rolling with my bridesmaids," she said getting up off his lap.

"All right then, give me a kiss to keep me going," Chakotay wheedled.

Kathryn kissed him passionately, and then shoved him towards the door. "Go on now, let me get to planning."

Chakotay stood outside her quarters for a moment slightly bemused, then decided to see how many of the women's presents he could get done before his neck and back gave in. After only about a half hour Chakotay had made four sets of matching necklaces and earrings from the extra beads he had, these were not for the bridal party but for his sister and niece and for Kathryn's mother and sister. He knew it would be ten years before he could give the jewelry to them but he could tell them he had made the sets for them and he could send them pictures of the pieces. He then set to work making things for the women in the bridal party. When he had three more bracelets and four sets of earrings completed he decided he could take a break and stretch his legs.

June 8, 2378 2130 Holodeck 1

Chakotay found himself outside holodeck 1 where Sandrine's was up and running. After he entered Sandrine's and took a look around, he wondered if there was a 'no women allowed' sign he'd missed, because the only women in the simulation were the holograms Sandrine and Ricky. Actually, as he looked around he noticed that many of the men he intended to ask to be apart of the wedding party were there. Tom Paris was sitting at a table with Harry Kim, Mike Ayala, Joe Carey and Ken Dalby, when he saw Chakotay he motioned to the older man and called across the room, "Hey Chakotay, come sit with us."

Chakotay nodded his head and said, "Just let me grab a beer and I'll be over."

After everyone had said hi to the newcomer to the table, Chakotay asked, "So is there a reason the only women in here are holograms?"

"Yeah, the women who aren't on duty or asleep are in the captain's quarters planning your wedding and that includes my wife," Tom said almost resentfully.

"So, if B'Elanna's with the captain, why aren't you home babysitting Miral?" Chakotay asked.

"B'Elanna took Miral with her," Tom answered.

"Oh," Chakotay said in surprise. "What about you Ken, is Sue in on the wedding planning too?" Chakotay asked.

"Don't know," Ken mumbled.

"Something wrong, Ken?" Chakotay asked.

"Yeah, Sue's mad at me because she wants to get married when we get to Tépekan and then go on our honeymoon there," Ken said.

"So, why don't you, sounds like a pretty good idea to me," Chakotay said.

"Oh yeah, sure, we should ask the captain to marry us first before the two of you get married? You wouldn't mind waiting a day to get married so we could go first, now would you? Or maybe you guys can go first and then put off your honeymoon for a day so the captain can marry us? What's another day of waiting, huh big guy?" Ken said sarcastically.

"OK, you have a point. But you know you could have a local clergy marry you, or since we are going to be staying at Tépekan for a couple of weeks, if you guys are willing to wait a week, I think Kathryn and I could be persuaded to come back from our honeymoon for a while for her to conduct the ceremony and for me to give Sue away," Chakotay answered.

"We're really going to stay there a couple of weeks?" Joe Carey asked.

"Yeah, well you tell me Joe, couldn't this ship use a couple of weeks in dock?" Chakotay asked.

"Could it ever, we've been running at high warp for too long and getting pounded by those pirates, not to mention the damage we had before that," Joe said.

"I think this crew could use some downtime, too," Mike Ayala suggested.

"Yeah, and commander, as a wedding present I'll make up the shore leave rotations for you, if you want," Harry Kim offered.

"Thanks Harry, I might just let you do that," Chakotay said.

"Well, you better put me and Sue down for the second week it sounds like, Harry," Ken Dalby said, then added as he started to stand, "I guess I ought to go tell Sue the good news and get out of the dog house."

"Hey, wait a minute Ken, sit down. I've got something to ask you," Chakotay said.

"What is it, chief?" Ken asked as he sat back down.

"Well, the Tépean wedding ceremony calls for quite a few attendants. I need a best man, six groomsmen and probably four ushers. So well uh, will you guys stand up with me at my wedding?" Chakotay asked.

Each of the men answered yes in his own way, then Chakotay turned to Tom and asked. "I'm sure six years ago no one would have thought I'd ever end up asking this of you Tom, but would you be my best man?"

"Sure, on one condition," Tom answered.

"Do you always have to try to cut a deal?" Chakotay asked with a smile as the men at the table chuckled.

"Well, its just part of my nature. Look it's a simple thing, I just want to be allowed to host a bachelor party for you," Tom said.

"A bachelor party?" Chakotay said, he knew as first officer he should probably set a good example and say no way, but it sounded like fun and he was only going to get married once in his life. "I don't know," he said trying to keep up the image of an officer and a gentleman.

"Come on Chakotay, you got to say goodbye to your bachelorhood in style," Mike Ayala encouraged.

"Yeah, come on Chakotay, I know you want to say yes, you're just thinking about how it will look for the first officer to let loose for a change. But come off it, we all know you're human like the rest of us," Ken Dalby cajoled.

"Okay, Okay," Chakotay gave in, "BUT this is something that only the male population of this ship knows about, OK?" Chakotay said.

"Uh, what about inviting some of the guys from the Sentinel?" Harry Kim asked.

"Yeah, that's OK, but the only females at this party better be holographic, OK? And no one talks about what goes on at the party afterwards. I want to live to see my wedding day," Chakotay said with a grin.

"Oh and one more thing, let's do this a few days before the wedding so I can recover, OK? Detox sprays only go so far to making a guy feel human again," he concluded.

"You got it Chief, Harry and I will get right on programming you a primo bachelor party," Tom said.

"Oh that's great, with you two working together we'll have strippers and cheerleaders," Chakotay said gesturing first at Tom as he said strippers and then to Harry as he said cheerleaders.

"Hey, I resent that remark, besides cheerleaders can be very sexy," Harry Kim said as everyone laughed.

"Oh and one more thing, please remember the prohibition against using images of crewmembers," Chakotay warned.

"So, having the captain pop out of a cake is out, huh?" Tom asked teasingly.

"Well, let me put it this way, any man sees what I consider to be for my eyes only and someone's going to die," Chakotay said with a menacing smile.

"Geesh, you'd think the guy actually knew what it was he was protecting," Ken Dalby teased.

"Ken," Chakotay growled the man's name as a warning.

"Uh, I think I'll leave before I get in anymore trouble," Ken said as he stood to leave.

"I hate to go too, but I've got an early morning holodeck reservation. I promised to teach Terpé how to play velocity," Chakotay said.

"That's OK boss, we'll just stay here and plan the best bachelor party ever," Tom said.

June 8, 2378 2130 Kathryn's Quarters

Kathryn, Pakrité and B'Elanna sat on the couch in Kathryn's quarters with Miral on B'Elanna's lap. Seven of Nine stood next to them, Samantha Wildman sat in the armchair opposite the sofa and Sue Jenkins, Marla Gilmore, Tal Celes, Susan Nicoletti and the Delaney twins sat on the floor near the couch. The eleven women had been over nearly every possible aspect of the wedding plans in the past 90 minutes as they passed Miral around and cooed over her. They were now pretty sure they had everything covered.

"Do you know who Chakotay is going to ask to be his groomsmen?" Sue asked.

"Well, I know he'll ask Tom to be his best man. Not sure who he'll ask to be ushers, but I think his groomsmen will be Ken, Mike, Harry, Joe, Terpe and Neelix, " Kathryn replied.

"Oh my gosh, Neelix in traditional Mayan wedding clothes? He'll take one look at those natural colored shirts and pants and pass out!" Samantha exclaimed.

"Maybe we should only show him the brightly colored sash and let him imagine that the rest of the outfit is as colorful," suggested B'Elanna.

Over everyone's laughter Kathryn said, "Well, I think Chakotay is asking Neelix so that Naomi has someone in the wedding party that she feels comfortable with."

"Captain, I mean Kathryn, what are Susan, Jenny, Megan and I going to do in the wedding?" Celes asked timidly.

"I'm hoping you four can help with things like helping the ushers get the programs out, making sure everyone gets the right cord for the hand fasting ceremony, making sure the bridesmaids get their flowers. I'm sure there are other things I'm forgetting," answered Kathryn.

"Yes, like the guest book and gift registry. Oh and speaking of the latter, I think we should set something up on board ship so that the two of you don't end up with 47 sets of Champagne flutes," Samantha suggested.

"Oh, I don't want everyone on the ship feeling like they have to get us wedding gifts," Kathryn said.

"Too bad Kathryn, everyone is going to want to give you something anyway, but with Samantha's idea maybe we can convince people to get together in groups to give you and Chakotay some nice gifts that you can really use," B'Elanna said.

"I was wondering," Pakrité asked timidly. "In your culture, do the friends and family of the bride give her a party before the wedding?"

"Yes they do! We call it a Bridal Shower," answered Marla.

"I'm too old for a bridal shower." Kathryn protested.

"No you're not, but if you really think so maybe we should have a bachelorette party instead," said Jenny Delaney.

"What is the difference?" Pakrité asked.

The women assembled all looked at one another and settled on Samantha as the best to explain.

"Well, for a Bridal Shower generally the female friends and family members of the bride have a little party were they give her gifts, usually things she might need for her home and almost always some wonderful lingerie. They also sometimes give her recipes and occasionally they play games or tell stories about the bride. It's usually a very cheerful time. A Bachelorette party is a bit well, more racy. There's usually lots of drinking and the only men there are there for entertainment purposes. It is a time for the bride to well – to say goodbye to her partying days," Samantha explained. There were murmurs of assent and several who commented that they couldn't have done a better job describing the two different events.

"Does your culture have something like the Bridal Shower or Bachelorette party, Pakrité?" Marla asked.

"Yes, we have something like your Bachelorette Party, we call it the Last Revel. If we were going to be at the planet for a while before the wedding I would suggest you have it at this strip bar I know. They have some very handsome men there and they make some truly wicked drinks," Pakrité said.

Several of the women gave Pakrité looks that seemed to re-evaluate their new Tépean friend.

"Well, I don't really think I should be planning a Bachelorette Party, I mean it doesn't exactly seem like something a captain should do," Kathryn said.

"First of all, you wouldn't be planning it. I, as your matron of honor, would. And secondly, I'll just bet that p'tahk of a husband of mine is planning a bachelor party for Chakotay, so I don't see why you shouldn't have a Bachelorette Party," B'Elanna said.

Suddenly all the women were agreeing with B'Elanna.

"Pakrité, if you could give me some details about the strip bar, I could program the holodeck to recreate it for the captain's party," Seven of Nine suggested.

Everyone turned to look at Seven who until then had remained rather silent.

"You can do that on your holodeck?" Pakrité asked.

"We can even program holographic strippers to your exact specifications," B'Elanna added.

Kathryn realized she needed to let the women give her a Bachelorette Party or face a mutiny, besides one last night of wild partying sounded like fun.

"Oh alright, you can have a Bachelorette Party for me, but I have a few stipulations. One, the party needs to be at least a few days before the wedding so I can properly recover. Two, the only men at the party are to be holographic. Third, the protocols for holographic images are to be strictly adhered to and finally, not a word about this to any male on this ship or any other, OK?" Kathryn said as she looked at everyone in the room as they all said yes or nodded their heads like excited schoolgirls.

Kathryn wondered why Seven of Nine blushed when she mentioned the holographic protocols, but didn't pursue the thought. The women decided they should break up their planning meeting and get on with implementing everything they'd decided. Seven and B'Elanna made plans to meet with Pakrité to program the holodeck. As the women were all leaving Kathryn's quarters, Kathryn overheard Susan Nicoletti ask someone, "I wonder if you can do a body shot off of a hologram?"

June 9, 2378 1200 Mess Hall

Tom and Harry picked up lunch from Neelix and noticed that everyone seemed to be eating in the mess hall, probably saving replicator rations so they could contribute to one of the planned wedding presents for Chakotay and Kathryn.

The two guys tried to find a table away from everyone so they could discuss the plans for Chakotay's bachelor party. Although they'd told Chakotay they'd start planning it last night, they actually hadn't done much beyond agree that Sandrine's would make a good location and that they'd probably want to have the party from the later part of the beta shift into the early part of gamma shift, about three days before the wedding.

"So, how many guys do you think will actually come to the party?" Harry asked as he sampled his lunch.

"Well, let's see, if we rule out the guys whose religious convictions won't allow them to take part in the kind of hedonistic fun we're planning," Harry grinned at Tom when he described their plans as hedonistic, "I figure that leaves maybe 4 dozen guys and of those there are some who I don't think will come because they don't feel like they are close enough to Chakotay to do so. So, I figure when you add the groomsmen, the rest of the Maquis, the guys he plays velocity, hoverball, parisi squares, pool or poker with, there's probably going to be maybe 30 - 35 guys," Tom answered.

"Wow, that's gonna be a pretty big party especially if we try to have enough holographic women there for all the guys," Harry said.

"Yeah, well we don't have to have that many women there," Tom said. At Harry's questioning glance he added "Look, there are going to be guys there like me, Joe Carey, Mike Ayala, Ken Dalby, Scott Rollins and Billy Telfer who have wives or sweethearts that we're gonna be true to. I mean I'll look, I may even flirt a bit, but that's all and I bet the other guys will do the same"

"Oh yeah, uh, on that score should we NOT program a woman for Chakotay?" Harry asked.

"No, in fact, I think we ought to program several we think he'd like. Let him decide whether he's gonna be a good boy or not." After shoveling a bit of his lunch in his mouth, he added, "You know, I got the feeling the other night he was really considering cutting loose - I mean, the way he said he didn't want any information leaking out about what went on."

"Yeah, which kind of shocked me. I mean, I thought he really loved the captain," Harry said with a note of disappointment in his voice.

"He does Harry, you haven't got any idea how much. But she's putting him through hell right now and well, you know Chakotay is not some fictional super hero or something. He's a real guy and a real guy has his limits - and his fantasies, too," Tom explained with a bit of a smirk on his last remark.

"What do you mean when you say she's putting him through hell?" Harry asked, his natural defensiveness about the captain coming to the fore.

Tom considered for a moment whether he should let Harry in on Chakotay's little secret and finally decided it would be OK. Harry would probably keep his mouth shut. Looking around to see if anyone was eavesdropping Tom said in a low voice, "She made him promise they'd wait until they're married."

"Wait for what?" Harry asked uncomprehending at first.

Tom just stared at Harry, waiting for his younger buddy to catch on. Finally, Harry put it together and with a disbelieving look said, "You don't mean"– He couldn't finish the sentence.

"Uh huh, no nooky until its legal," Tom said confirming his friend's assumption.

"Oh man, that's harsh and while he's battling the booster neutralization too," Harry said, feeling compassion for Chakotay, and relief that his faith in his role model was not misplaced.

Suddenly the obvious question came to Harry's mind and he just blurted it out, "But why?"

"She's superstitious," Tom began explaining, "This is the third time she's been engaged and things haven't turned out well for her in the past. Her first fiancé died in a shuttle crash with her dad, and then she got thrown out here to the delta quadrant before she was to marry the second guy, so she's kind spooked."

"And Chakotay understands that and is OK with it?" Harry asked with a hint of disbelief.

"Well I don't know if he's OK with it. I mean the big guy's pretty frustrated. He has a hard time just behaving himself when he is alone with her, but he loves her and so he waits," Tom replied.

"He may not be a super hero, but he's some sort of guy for putting up with that sort of crap," Harry said decidedly.

Tom gave Harry a look, because he'd rarely ever heard him say something that could be regarded as a criticism of the captain.

"So, let's plan one hell of a party for him, OK?" Tom suggested.

"Yeah, you know, I think we are going to need both holodecks so that we can enlarge Sandrine's and have some private areas off of the main room," Harry suggested.

"Yeah, that's a good idea. And I've got an idea for some fun. I think we should see if we can get a subspace message off to some people who knew Chakotay on his previous shipboard postings or maybe someone who went to the Academy with him, and see if we can get them to record some little anecdotes about him, that way we can roast him," Tom said. Harry was enthusiastic about that idea and soon the two men were absorbed in the details of planning Chakotay's bachelor party.

June 9, 2378 1830 Tom and B'Elanna's Quarters

"All right, you two p'tahks," B'Elanna said sharply as she let the serving dish she was bringing from the replicator slam to the surface of the table, "What's the deal with both holodecks being reserved next week for a seven hour block by Chakotay's groomsmen?"

At their startled looks she added, "Didn't think anyone would notice if you guys all blocked off an hour here and an hour there, huh?"

Tom and Harry looked nervously at each other as they tried to think up a good excuse, but before they could say anything B'Elanna continued, in a softer voice as she realized she was in real danger of waking up her slumbering daughter, "Look, I know you guys are probably planning a bachelor party for Chakotay, but what do you need both holodecks for?" she complained.

Suddenly Tom realized this wasn't about B'Elanna being mad about a bachelor party for her brother, but about her being inconvenienced by their using both holodecks. He decided to trust his instincts and go on the offensive.

"What's wrong B'Elanna, did the groomsmen take the date for the bachelor party that the bridesmaids wanted for the bachelorette party?" Tom asked smugly.

He almost couldn't believe it when B'Elanna blushed, then she seemed flustered. "Uh, we didn't, I mean I didn't"-

"It's OK B'Elanna, we won't tell anyone." Tom promised.

"OK," B'Elanna said much more relaxed, "but why do you want both holodecks?" she asked.

"Well, there are a lot of guys who are going to want to be there, we just thought we could use the space," Harry replied a little too quickly and a little too nervously.

"Uh huh," B'Elanna said as she bore her eyes into her husband, "what's the real story."

"We plan to use an enlarged version of Sandrine's and well we wanted to have some rooms off the back of the tavern," Tom said trying to make it sound plausible with out going into too much detail.

"Oh, you're going to have private rooms are you? Gods, men are all pigs, even my husband and brother! And you, Starfleet - I thought I could at least count on you to keep them in line," B'Elanna ranted at the guys, hoping they'd forget about her planning the bachelorette party.

"Oh, and this little bachelorette party you're going to have is going to be so innocent?" Tom asked accusingly.

When B'Elanna didn't answer right away Tom said, "Aha gotcha!"

"OK, OK so maybe the bachelorette party is going to be a bit on the racy side but its tradition," B'Elanna concluded.

"Tradition!" Tom blustered. "Men have been having bachelor parties far longer than women have been having bachelorette parties. Why don't you just throw a bridal shower?" Tom asked snidely.

B'Elanna rolled her eyes and then asked, "Can we call a truce and work out this problem with the holodecks?"

"Why do you have to have the 17th, why can't you do your party on the 16th or 18th?" Harry asked.

"Because, we want to accommodate the schedule of the Tépeans that are invited, apparently their down time isn't quite as generous as ours, especially when they are coming into port for a while," B'Elanna answered.

"Oh, that's why we're doing it on the 17th, too," Tom said.

"Well, maybe we can compromise and each party can have just one holodeck?" Harry suggested.

"Ok, I guess if we're creative we can make do with the one holodeck," Tom answered.

B'Elanna agreed and so it was settled that both Chakotay's bachelor party and Kathryn's bachelorette party would take place on the evening of the 17th.

June 17, 2378 1825 Chakotay's quarters

Chakotay was setting the table for his dinner with Kathryn. He'd decided to make a very bland pasta dinner considering that both he and Kathryn were going to be going out later that evening to, as his friend Orlando used to put it, 'party hardy'. He wasn't suppose to know that the women were planning a bachelorette party for Kathryn, but what with all the shift swapping and holodeck 2 being booked all evening and into the wee hours of the morning by her bridesmaids, it didn't require his genius IQ to figure out what was going on.

He was hoping they could have a nice relaxing meal and not bicker. That was all they'd done for the last week. He knew it wasn't anything serious and he actually enjoyed the making up afterwards part quite a lot, but it was getting a bit tiresome. Somehow everything about the last minute minutiae of the wedding rubbed him the wrong way, and Kathryn seemed to think that everything he said about the wedding planning was derogatory and was somehow an indication that he was having second thoughts about marrying her. When he'd mentioned the bickering in front of Tom and Joe Carey they just laughed at him. They told him not to worry, that it was just something that couples went through just before a wedding; in fact both men had told him that there was probably one major explosion of a fight waiting to happen just before the wedding, if Kathryn was anything at all like their wives. Somehow their assurances did little to comfort him. The only thing he kept holding on to was the certain knowledge that he loved Kathryn and she loved him.

Just then Kathryn came through the doors of his quarters. Each of them came and went as freely as they pleased in the other's quarters now. She was dressed in a simple blue dress and had her hair pulled back into a ponytail. The smile on her face made her look very young.

"Hi sweetheart, I'm home," Kathryn said imitating his greeting from another evening that was spent in her quarters.

As Chakotay moved to take her in his arms, he corrected her, "The correct phrase is 'Hi HONEY, I'm home'." He kissed her, meaning to be gentle and rather quick about the kiss, but he couldn't resist deepening the kiss, exploring her mouth and then moving on to kiss her face and her throat. Finally she pushed out of his grasp a little and laughed at him. "Down boy, time for that after you feed me."

He released her completely, laughed a bit, then motioned her to the table like a maître d' and said, "Your wish is my command, mademoiselle."

They actually managed to get through the dinner without a bit of bickering, maybe because they avoided talking about the wedding and instead talked about Voyager and the Tépean ship and their new friends Terpe and Pakrité. Chakotay was wondering how he'd make his escape this evening so he could get to the Bachelor party. His fall back plan was simply to get a bit too "frisky" with Kathryn and then excuse himself, but he wasn't sure he wanted to walk into his bachelor party after that sort of activity, nor did he think a cold shower just before heading to the party would be fun. Before Chakotay could come up with a good excuse Kathryn gave them both an excuse.

"I hate to cut the evening short, but Pakrité wants to see me tonight, some Tépean custom about the bridesmaids each spending some quality time with the bride to be before her wedding," Kathryn improvised.

"Oh, well that's OK, I'm suppose to meet Terpe for much the same reason," Chakotay replied in relief.

"See you for breakfast then?" she asked rather automatically.

Chakotay knew he was in trouble now, if the bachelor party lasted as long as Tom and Harry had planned there was no way he'd be up for breakfast at their usual hour. Well he'd just blame it on his groomsmen.

"Oh, uh - I forgot to tell you, tomorrow I'm suppose to meet with my groomsmen in the morning. How about a rain check until lunch?" Chakotay answered.

"That's fine," Kathryn replied, equally grateful that Chakotay had dodged the invitation she'd made before thinking, as she doubted she'd be up for breakfast after the bachelorette party.

June 17, 2378 2030 Holodeck 1 Sullivan's Tavern

Kathryn had reserved a little holodeck time before the party. There were a couple of holograms she wanted to speak to about her upcoming wedding. She ordered the computer to start up the Fair Haven program and headed for Sullivan's tavern, trying to think how to broach the subject of her impending nuptials with Michael. As soon as she entered the tavern the object of her thoughts greeted her.

"Ah Katie, me darling," Michael said, starting one of his usual charming welcomes but he stopped short, because as he had approached Kathryn he had grasped both of her hands in his and brought them up in front of him to kiss, but as he looked at her hands he caught sight of her engagement ring.

"What's this on your hand Katie?" Michael asked.

"Well, it's what I came here to talk to you about Michael. I'm engaged to be married," Kathryn answered.

"To whom?" he asked then continued, "No, let me guess. It's that handsome Indian devil off your ship now isn't it? Chakotay, the one with the tattoo," Michael guessed.

"Yes, but how did you know?" Kathryn asked truly bewildered.

"Oh, I've heard people talk, when they don't think I can hear them. Some of your crew was none to happy that you and I struck up our friendship. They felt I was 'poaching' and that you were mistreating that poor bloke Chakotay," Michael explained.

"They had no business expressing an opinion one way or the other," Kathryn said hotly.

"Oh Katie, I think they only had your best interest and your fellow Chakotay's at heart," Michael responded.

"So, tell me something Katie. What took you so long to decide on this bloke? I mean, hasn't he been there on your ship all along?" Michael asked.

Kathryn was a bit surprised, Michael seemed not one bit upset about her engagement and for a fellow who had put up such a fuss before when she was going to end their relationship, this seemed a bit off to her.

"Until recently we weren't allowed to be together because of our positions on the ship as captain and first officer. But those regulations have been set aside now, so we are free to marry," she explained simply.

"I see," he said. Michael became quiet and serious. "Do you love him, Katie?"

"Yes Michael, very much and I have for years," she replied earnestly.

"Is he the reason you would only let things go so far and never further between us?" Michael asked a bit sadly.

"Yes, as much as I cared for you Michael, and I did and still do, I could never be in love with you or anyone other than Chakotay," Kathryn answered hoping Michael would understand.

"He's your soul mate then, is he?" he asked with great discernment.

"Yes, yes he is." Kathryn said with bright eyes, as she realized that Michael cared enough for her to want her to be happy.

"Well then, let's drink a toast to you and your husband to be," Michael said and promptly brought forth two glasses and filled them with the best wine he had in the tavern.

"To you and your intended," Michael began and then launched into a traditional Irish blessing for a newlywed couple,

"May God be with you and bless you

May you see your children's children

May you be poor in misfortunes,

Rich in blessings

And may you know nothing but happiness

From this day forward"

"Thank you Michael," Kathryn said and placed a kiss on his cheek. "I hate to go, but my bridesmaids are throwing a party for me, and I have another errand to run before I go to it."

"So they're throwing you a hen party, are they?" Michael asked with a bit of a smirk.

"Yes, I suppose you could call it that," Kathryn replied with a bit of a blush.

"Well, then I won't keep you a moment longer," Michael said.

As she turned to leave, the sound of his voice made her turn just as she reached the door, "Be happy Kathryn, for if you are then I shall be too."

"I promise, I will be," she said as she left the tavern. As she ordered the computer to shut down the Fair Haven program, she decided to ask Tom to reopen the character parameters and reinstate Michael's wife into the program. Maybe that was silly and sentimental to want a hologram to be happy too, but it was her way.

She next asked the holodeck to run her DaVinci program. She wanted to talk to the maestro; she wasn't quite sure why, she just did. As the studio materialized she found the artist rifling through a stack of sketches looking for something.

"Ah Katarina, you've arrived just in time to save an old man's sanity. Help me find the sketch I made last week of the new helicopter design," DaVinci ordered.

Kathryn smiled to herself; maybe one of the reasons she liked to visit Leonardo was that she occasionally enjoyed being ordered around, instead of having everyone do her bidding. As she helped Leonardo search for the missing sketch, she mused to herself that that might also be a good reason for getting married. Chakotay had already shown signs of being the type of man who could definitely take charge, though whether he would in their marriage or not remained to be seen.

Leonardo became aware of the pensive mood 'Katarina' was in and decided to say something.

"Enough child, I've obviously hidden it somewhere and it will only come back to me at the oddest moment as to where," he said as he stilled her hands as they searched through his drawings.

"So, tell me. What's brought you here and why your cheeks are glowing with delight?" the old artist commanded gently.

"Oh Leonardo, you read me like a book," Kathryn said and her cheeks glowed a bit more with an embarrassed blush. "I have come to tell you some news, some wonderful news."

"Yes, yes what is it?" the old man's eyes sparkled warmly at her.

"I'm getting married," she replied.

"Oh that's wonderful and who is the lucky, but no doubt undeserving, young man?" DaVinci said good-naturedly.

"His name is Chakotay and I am the one who is not worthy of him," Kathryn answered.

"Oh, and who is he that you would not be worthy of him?" Leonardo asked skeptically.

Kathryn paused for a moment wondering how to explain this wonderful man to her mentor.

"He is a very complicated man, Maestro. If he were to wish it, he could make his living as an artist or craftsman, and he is also an intellectual. He is a very brave soldier, extremely talented at hand-to-hand combat and yet, he is at heart a pacifist. He is separated from his people by a great distance and yet they still look to him as their leader. He honors the past and dreams of the future and yet somehow always stays grounded in the present." Kathryn described Chakotay in a way she felt Leonardo would understand and, perhaps for the first time, realized her soon to be husband was a renaissance man.

"You say he is far from his people, but they consider him to be their leader, is he a prince in exile, then?" DaVinci asked.

"I suppose you could say that, though I doubt he would think of himself that way. With all his talents he is still a rather humble man," Kathryn added.

This felt so good to her, to be able to talk about Chakotay and to praise his good qualities to her mentor. She began to realize that part of the reason she wanted to see Leonardo was that she no longer had her father to go to in this circumstance, and somehow it was important to her to gain approval for her choice of husband from a paternal figure.

"Talented, sensitive, high born yet humble, are you marrying a man or a saint?" Leonardo asked.

"Oh, he's a real man all right Maestro and lest I mislead you, he does have his flaws, but I find them easy to overlook," Kathryn admitted.

"And would he say they same of you, Katarina?" DaVinci asked with a chuckle.

"Oh maestro, he does overlook my many flaws, he is a remarkably tolerant man," she responded.

"Oh, so he has no temper?" Leonardo asked with a hint of skepticism.

Kathryn thought of the night Chakotay had given her, her engagement ring and she blanched a bit. "Oh no, he has a fierce temper when he's provoked and sometimes I do provoke him," she answered truthfully.

"Good, a man without a temper is also a man without passion and I would not have you wed to a man who has no passion," DaVinci declared.

"Now, answer me one more thing Katarina, though I think I know the answer from what you have said so far and the look on your face when you speak of him, but I will have you tell me nonetheless. Do you love him?" DaVinci asked her and held her gaze with his own as though she were a tethered bird.

"Yes maestro, with all my heart and all my soul," Kathryn answered fervently.

"Good, then be wed with my blessing and when you are done with your honeymoon bring this young man around to visit me. If he is all you claim him to be, I might find him decent enough company," Leonardo said with a roguish smile.

"Now go child, leave this old man in peace and maybe I'll remember where I put that blasted sketch," Leonardo said as he escorted her to the door of his studio.

As she ordered the computer to end the DaVinci holoprogram, she felt, if at all possible, even happier than she'd been these last few weeks.


	13. Chapter 13

June 17, 2003 2100 Holodeck 2 Sandrine's

"Welcome, welcome gentlemen, please come in make yourself at home," Sandrine said as the men invited to Chakotay's bachelor party streamed into her establishment.

Soon every man had a seat and pretty women of every description were circulating through the room, ostensibly as waitresses and hostesses. Tom, as Chakotay's best man, was acting as emcee of the evening's activities, when he could see that every one had a libation he decided to start the roast part of the evening. He called various members of the crew to come forward to tell stories about, or as his Dad would say, tell stories on Chakotay. The emphasis being on embarrassing their XO, particularly if the story could have a sexy spin put on it.

Everyone had some story to tell about his XO, from Ken Dalby's teasing about the commander's left hook to Joe Carey's description of the look on Chakotay's face when Neelix had him taste raw Leola root, of course Joe added, if rumors were true that might have merely helped him prepare for the captain's cooking. Neelix teased him that, had he known what a slow worker Chakotay was when it came to women, he'd never have asked him for advice on romance. Chell was quite the hit when he described the commander's reaction to two very grateful Bajoran women Chakotay rescued from the Cardassians during his Maquis days. But the truly priceless moments came when they played the taped messages they'd managed to download from the array from Fred Morris, an academy roommate of Chakotay's, Orlando Delgado, the only survivor amongst his buddies from the Gettysburg and Will Riker, his wingman from his Nova squad days.

After relating a few funny stories about his roomie, that only a roommate would know, Fred gave Chakotay some advice, "Remember the Serenity prayer, and especially remember what I told you about not being able to change other people. When I got married I discovered that my wife's attitudes and behaviors were definitely something I couldn't change, so I just tried to be accepting. But Chakotay, if your Kathryn is anything like my Jenny, then she'll probably spend a lot of time trying to change you; it's just something women do. When you can't take it any more, just make her a couple of babies, and suddenly all the extra fussing will be transferred to the kids and you can go back to doing what you want to do," Fred advised. Chakotay just shook his head and smiled while everyone laughed.

Next was a message from Orlando Delgado in which he told the story of how Chakotay got busted for lying about his age. As most people had heard a little bit about this at the half-birthday party they were anxious to hear the details. Some things Orlando played up were the boxing matches and Chakotay's flirting with the pretty redheaded doctor. He said he only mentioned that because he was beginning to realize Chakotay had a weakness for redheads.

Finally, Tom put on the message from Will Riker.

"Chakotay, I think I'm pissed off at you on several levels. First off, I just learnt from Beverly Crusher that you're younger than me by three months. All these years I thought you were a couple of years older than me. Of course maybe that explains why you seemed to be such a small guy for a third year cadet," Riker observed.

"I remember when Boothby wanted me to spar with you. I thought he was crazy for wanting to put two such mismatched fighters together. I had to have had 10 centimeters and 13 kilos on you. I figured I'd kick your butt, but it was what, like all of thirty seconds, until I was flat on my back on the canvas? I sure was surprised to find out later that I was sparring with my quad leader," Will said with a laugh.

"You helped me through a lot of stuff that first year, and now I realize that you knew what I was going through being the youngest cadet in my class. I wonder if that's not why Boothby sort of threw us together?" Will pondered.

"I remember once us sitting up talking about our fathers. That was something else we had in common, not necessarily being comfortable with what our Dads wanted us to be. Although I got to admit, at least my Dad didn't want me to be the leader of an entire tribe!" Chakotay looked a bit embarrassed when he heard Will mention that, he tried to downplay his importance in his tribe as much as he could.

"Without your coaxing, I don't think I'd have had the guts to try out for Nova squad in my second year. And I still think you should have been in command instead of Jack Wild. Man did he have the right name," Riker continued.

"Hey remember that flight he took us on to celebrate your 22nd birthday? I guess it was really your nineteenth. We were supposed to be going to Angel Falls in Venezuela, but Jack decided to alter the flight plan. I remember you asked him if we should report the deviation, but he said no. Next thing you know we ran into that dampening field over Guatemala. Had to crash-land the fighters in an open field. Then you recognized the place as the area your father had taken you to just before you entered the academy. Apparently your Dad had convinced the Federation council to erect the dampening field to protect that primitive Native American tribe your tribe was suppose to be related to. Man, I remember walking in that heat and humidity to get out of the dampening field to where we could get our communicators to work, only we never did. But what I remember most was that little village you had us head for where you knew we could get a message out past the dampening field. Everyone in the village spoke Mayan and Spanish and almost no one spoke more than a few words of Standard. Without you and Mike Ramirez, we'd have been in sad shape," Riker laughed a bit, and then continued.

"I thought it was a riot the way Jack Wild tried to get you to help him hit on that pretty gal in the cantina, it was obvious to everyone but Jack that she only had eyes for you. The look on his face when Mike translated for her that she wasn't interested in him was good, but the look on your face was priceless, when she turned to you and said she was interested in you. Mike translated that for us after you left with her. I remember thinking for a 22 year old you seemed mighty shy, but now I get it, you were only 19, it makes more sense now. Oh my God, I just had a thought, that wasn't your first time with a woman was it Chakotay? Oh man, I hope not 'cause we were really given you the business that evening. Oh well, such are the hazards of a guy who lies about his age I guess."

Chakotay hoped his dark coloring was hiding his embarrassment, Maria hadn't been his first but she was the first woman he'd been with where others knew what was about to take place and it had really made him feel awkward at the time.

"Of course all of this is distracting me from the second reason I'm pissed off at you. Do you remember the spring of that year; I kept saying there was this girl I wanted to date? She was a year behind me, and already as a first year cadet she was working on an honor thesis. I finally got someone to set us up on a blind date, and then she runs out on me in the middle of dinner! You told me not to worry, there were plenty of fish in the sea and that one girl couldn't possible be all that special, but here you are marrying her!" Riker waited a beat, and then continued.

"Yeah, that's right the girl who I wanted to date, because I thought she was so special, and that you told me to forget about, was none other than Kathryn Janeway! So see, I was right all along! She is special and there are not a lot of other women in the universe like her. So you better be good to her, or so help me, I'll come out there to the Delta quadrant and try to take her away from you," Riker said with a laugh.

"Hey, in all seriousness I hope the two of you are very happy, and well, I got to admit you're giving me ideas here. I guess I always have followed your lead. Maybe getting married wouldn't be such a bad thing after all. Just don't let Deanna or her mother know I said that!" Riker concluded.

With that, the roast was over and it was time to move on to the more exotic forms of entertainment Tom and Harry had programmed. They had a number of human and Bajoran strippers and some Orion slave girls. The men had all been drinking fairly heartily during the roast, and so soon the room was filled with whistles and raucous voices calling out to the dancers. At one point, a blonde stripper finished her routine and was left with nothing on but her high heels, a feather boa and a smile, she walked down from the stage area and over to where Chakotay was seated and proceeded to do a lap dance for him. She squirmed and gyrated, using his body like it was one of the poles the girls usually used when dancing. Finally she sat in his lap, draping her legs over the side of his legs, giving him a very clear view of her sex, she leaned forward, her ample breasts pushing against his chest, and whispered something in his ear, then she got up and walked away from him trailing her feather boa behind her, stopping occasionally to look back at him. Chakotay excused himself, saying he seemed to be needed elsewhere, and then followed the buxom naked blonde back to a door marked private.

When the door closed behind him, Chakotay suddenly found himself wondering if this was such a good idea after all. His wedding to Kathryn was only a few days away, and here he was contemplating having sex with another woman, but then again she was just a hologram wasn't she? Was sex with a hologram cheating, or was it just a more creative way of jacking off? Before he could make up his mind, the hologram, she said her name was Lily, came over to him and began running her hands all over his chest and arms, making comments about how good looking he was.

"Uh, I'm not so sure I can do this," Chakotay said nervously.

"But why not? You certainly seem well-equipped for it," she said in an accent he couldn't quite place, as she palmed his erection through his pants.

"Uh, well you see," he said as he moved away from her a little, "I'm getting married in a few days and I really shouldn't be doing something like this," he replied.

"Nonsense, all men have a last fling before they get married, it's natural and it's expected. Besides, unless you plan on telling her, I'm sure your fiancée will never find out. I mean, your friends at the party won't tell on you, will they?"

The whole time she was trying to convince him to give in with words, she worked with her hands and body to convince him too. Chakotay was torn, he couldn't convince himself that sex with this hologram wouldn't be cheating, but he really wanted to quench the fire in his loins. Finally he decided on a compromise, he wouldn't have intercourse with her, that would be real sex, but he could let her 'drain his radiator' as an old buddy of his use to say. He laughed a little to himself as he realized that, until he'd met Tom, he hadn't a clue what a radiator was.

"Do you know how to give a blow job?" he asked her.

"Oh yes, of course," she said with a smile, "is that what you want?" she asked.

"Yeah," Chakotay said as he pushed her down to her knees in front of him. He suddenly decided not only did he want this little hologram to suck him off, but he wanted to be a little bit of a bad boy about it, so he grabbed a handful of her long blonde hair in his right fist and told her roughly, "undo my pants, bitch."

The hologram was well-programmed and realized her 'customer' wanted to play out a little fantasy, so she went along with it. She unzipped his pants and began to push down his boxers, so she could get to his cock, when he suddenly wrenched her back by the hair.

"Did I tell you to do that, bitch? Don't get ahead of yourself," he said as he used his left hand to pull his penis free of his clothes. He played his cock around her face slapping it on her cheeks and lips, grinning almost evilly as he did so.

"OK, now open your mouth nice and big," Chakotay ordered the young blonde.

She reached out her hands to control how much of his cock slid into her mouth, but Chakotay pulled her back with the hand he still had wound in her mane of hair. "Ah ah, no hands slut, just your mouth. In fact, you just better give me those hands of yours," he said as he grabbed hold of both of her hands in his left hand and pulled them over her head, watching in delight as her nipples hardened with the thrill of the rough treatment.

Chakotay began pumping his big hard cock in and out of the blonde stripper's mouth, using the hand he had wound in her hair to force her to take his cock deep down her throat. He wondered briefly who had programmed her so realistically as she nearly gagged as his cock filled her gullet. He'd been pretty keyed up when he got started, so it didn't take long for him to climax and soon he was grunting and shooting his cum down throat and into her belly. She licked her lips and kissed his cock as it began to return to a less aroused state.

Chakotay felt bad about what he'd just done. He wasn't sure if he felt bad about it because he still felt like it was cheating, or if he felt bad because of the way he'd used Lily, but all he knew was he couldn't stand to look at the hologram anymore.

"Computer delete holographic character," Chakotay said, and just as he did and Lily began to disappear, he realized his mistake. Lily's holographic body had been the repository of his semen, which now had nothing to hold it, so it splattered to the floor of the holodeck.

"Oh brilliant, now I gotta find something to clean that up with," he said morosely.

After requesting a towel from the computer (a real towel - replicated and beamed into the room) to clean up the mess he'd made, he returned to the party and pretended to have a good time. At least he was pretending early on, after he got a bit drunker he put Lily out of his mind, and just had a good time drinking, talking, laughing, dancing with the pretty girls and watching the younger guys like Icheb and Gerron get drunk and frisky.

Meanwhile in holodeck 1 the women were likewise having a blast. They had presented Kathryn with useful, if sometimes outrageous gifts, like the bottle of blue pills that Megan and Jenny gave her, which they said would help, if Chakotay should ever need any help getting it up, though they suspected that, with the negligee that Pakrité had given her the pills should prove unnecessary, at least the first few times, on their wedding night.

The women also roasted Kathryn, much as the men had done Chakotay, and it was her sister Phoebe's tape, that everyone found the most entertaining, as Phoebe knew about all of Kathryn's old boyfriends and made sure everyone at the party did too.

Finally it came time for the exotic entertainment to begin and out came a lineup of men to put Chippendale's to shame. The men strutted their stuff and the women hooted and hollered. Then Pakrité showed the women how to give the guys tips (now why one tips a hologram is anyone's guess), she showed them how to fold the Tépean currency and then slip it into the dancer's g-string while copping a feel. Eventually the male dancers all chose partners amongst the women and proceeded to teach them how to 'dance hot'. B'Elanna said the dancing reminded her of a 20th century movie she'd watched on Tom's TV set called Dirty Dancing.

Finally some of the women began heading off with the various dancers for a few minutes at a time into small rooms off the club's main floor. From their flushed faces, Kathryn had little doubt what was going on behind the doors marked private. She was really torn between wanting to let the really cute Tépean dancer she'd been dancing with have his way with her, and remaining true to Chakotay. Of course she wasn't sure if being with a hologram was cheating or not, but then again she'd always felt guilty about being with Michael, and so had never 'gone all the way' with him. Maybe she could strike the same balance with this Tépean dancer? She decided to give it a try as she wandered over to the nearest door marked private with the young dancer's hand in hers.

When the door closed the young dancer, Lenpe wasted no time. He began helping Kathryn out of her clothes, as he was wearing nothing but a G-string he didn't need much assistance. When he had her naked she stopped him for a moment and made sure he understood her 'parameters'. He looked a little disappointed but then smiled like a little boy and said OK. He began making a feast of her body, laving her breasts with his tongue and then licking his way down her belly to her pussy. He expertly fingered and licked her sex until she was screaming, her pussy was quivering and she was dripping with her own fluids. Then he quite unexpectedly flipped her over and began giving her anus as much attention as he had her cunt. Kathryn was shocked and at first was going to stop him, but it felt so good. She'd never had anyone do those things to her before, oh she'd had lovers who had asked her to let them perform anal sex, but that had just meant letting a man shove his cock up her ass. She'd reluctantly given in a few times and endured it, but this was different, this felt good! When he brought her to another orgasm with his ministration to her ass, he finally begged her to let him relieve his own sexual tension. At first she thought he wanted to do what she'd already said she wouldn't allow, but he indicated no, he just wanted to masturbate while looking at her beautiful body, She relented and so he did, eventually shooting his holographic cum over her breasts and belly.

As Kathryn got dressed she began to have that same old nagging doubt about sex with a hologram, was it anything more than masturbation, after all the hologram wasn't real, but God the feelings through out her body were. She rejoined the rest of the ladies at the party and began drinking more seriously than she had before.

June 18 0300 Sickbay

Icheb felt strange after all the excitement in the holodeck and decided he needed to see the doctor. "Computer activate Emergency Medical Hologram," the young man requested.

As the EMH materialized he was a bit surprised to see the young Borg in front of him. He'd expected casualties from the bachelor party but somehow it hadn't occurred to his program that Chakotay and Tom Paris and Harry Kim would be so cavalier as to let young Icheb indulge in such activities.

"So Icheb what can I do for you?" the EMH asked.

"I do not feel well, Doctor. I believe I may have overindulged at Commander Chakotay's bachelor party," Icheb said as he climbed up on a biobed.

At that exact moment Kathryn Janeway entered the sickbay unnoticed by the Borg teen or the EMH.

"I see and exactly what transpired at this party?" the EMH asked as he took readings of Icheb, noticing that the young Borg was extremely intoxicated.

Kathryn flattened herself to a wall, she didn't want to be discovered until she found out what indeed had transpired at her fiancé's bachelor party.

"Well, everybody had a lot to drink, while people told stories about the Commander. There were some taped messages from friends of his in the Alpha quadrant, including a man who claimed to have had a blind date with the captain while she was a first year cadet. She apparently ran out on the man in the middle of dinner," Icheb reported in an inebriated voice. "That seems rude, doesn't it?" the young man asked.

Kathryn blanched; Will Riker and Chakotay were friends? Oh great!

"Then there were these women who danced and took their clothes off. One of them danced naked on the commander and then he followed her to a door marked private and he went inside with her. When another one of the dancers asked me to go with her to a private room, I thought it would be OK as the commander had done the same thing," Icheb reported.

"I see and what did you do after you went into the private room, Icheb?" the EMH asked, feeling like he shouldn't pry into his young friends private business, but knowing as his doctor that he should find out if Icheb was feeling okay with what transpired.

"I had sex with Iris, that was the name of the dancer," Icheb said in a matter of fact sort of way. "I've never done it before, but it seemed to come naturally and," he leaned forwarded and lowered his voice, "I really liked it. I am anxious to try it with a real girl," he added.

Unbeknownst to them the EMH and Kathryn were both thinking similar things, first that someone needed to sit down with Icheb and explain the facts of life to him, and also explain that a real girl might react very differently than a hologram and that well, he would probably need to be more considerate of a real girl. Second, while the EMH was thinking that Chakotay was in big trouble if Kathryn found out about the shenanigans at the bachelor party, Kathryn was thinking what big trouble Chakotay was in now that she knew about what went on at his bachelor party.

"Uh, yes, well you seem to be very drunk Icheb, I'm giving you a detox hypo and you are to go regenerate for at least 6 hours. Do you understand me?" the EMH asked.

"Yes sir," he said as he hopped off the biobed and started for the sickbay doors, "Hello captain," Icheb said as he headed out the door, oblivious to the fact she'd been eavesdropping.

"Hello captain, what can I do for you?' the EMH asked and looked for evidence that the captain had overheard his conversation with Icheb.

"I seem to have had a bit too much to drink at my bachelorette party and thought I might get a detox hypospray from you," she said without giving a thing away.

"Of course, I suppose I'll be giving out quite a few of these tonight or tomorrow morning to those not wise enough to stop in tonight," the EMH said.

"Yes," she said, as she wondered whether Chakotay would fit in the latter category. She hoped so, oh how she hoped he would put off until tomorrow morning getting a detox hypospray. Then she could read him the riot act while his head throbbed to beat the band. 'How dare he have sex with a hologram a few days before their wedding!' she thought to herself, totally ignoring the good time she'd had herself that night courtesy of the hands and mouth of a hologram.

Once the doctor was finished with her, she bid him a hasty good night and then went about planning how she was going to ream Chakotay. She checked with the computer about his whereabouts and the computer reported that he was in his quarters asleep. 'Good' she thought to herself, 'I'll go get a few hours of sleep myself, then go wake him up bright and early with a few choice words,' and with that she headed to her quarters for those few hours of sleep.

June 18, 2378 0700 Chakotay's quarters

As soon as she entered his quarters she could hear Chakotay snoring, which was uncommon for him. Probably a sign of how drunk he was. She marched herself into his bedroom and threw back the covers off her slumbering fiancé, revealing that he'd slept in his clothes from the night before. She called as loudly as she could, "Computer, lights 100%".

Chakotay sat up in bed and put his hands over his ears and squinted his eyes shut.

"Ow, Computer lights off," he said in a strained tone of voice.

"Computer, Lights 100%," she countermanded again in a loud voice.

"Kathryn, for pity sake can't you talk any softer?" Chakotay asked, and then added, "Computer lights 25%."

"Computer, lights 100%, " Kathryn said again, this time not quite so loud.

Chakotay got out of bed and said, "Computer, lights 50%, and don't you change it again," he added in a warning voice.

Kathryn decided to give in, as he had set the lights higher each time she'd countermanded him.

"Where do you think you're going, mister. We have a few things to talk about," she said, as she watched him walk past her.

"To the bathroom, I prefer throwing up in the toilet rather than all over my bed," he said just before he knelt down and vomited into the toilet.

"Oh," she said in disgust.

"Sorry," he said as he got up, rinsed his mouth out and dried his face on a towel, "but you're the one here at the crack of dawn after …" he trailed off realizing he was about to admit to being at a bachelor party.

"After what?' she demanded, then continued before letting him answer, "After that debauchery you call a bachelor party?"

'Uh oh, she found out and she sounds plenty mad, wonder what she's so bent out of shape about,' he thought then said, "Oh, and like you weren't at a bachelorette party last night in the other holodeck?" he accused.

"So what if I was? I wasn't fucking some stripper!" she accused.

"What? What gives you the idea I was fucking a stripper?" he asked, wondering how much she knew and how much she was guessing, and who it was he ought to beat to a pulp for letting the information out.

"I heard Icheb telling the doctor about it," she said.

"Well, I don't know what you heard while you were eavesdropping on the doctor and Icheb, but I didn't fuck that stripper," he said. The moment the words were out of his mouth he knew he'd screwed up. He'd just admitted that there was a stripper.

"So, you were with a stripper." she said as though she'd won a major victory.

"Yeah, OK I was, but I didn't fuck her, and I don't know what the big deal would be if I had. After all she was just a hologram, like your buddy Michael," he countered.

"Don't you dare throw Michael up in my face, you told me to go ahead and see him," she countered.

Chakotay remembered doing that, he didn't want to, but felt he had to give her some way out. Besides it was easier thinking she'd be letting a hologram do her, than some real live alien on some shore leave.

"Yes, I did and it tore me up to do it, but I felt like I had to make it easier for you to do," he said sadly.

"Oh Chakotay," she said, her anger beginning to melt away. "I never let him, I mean we never, we never went all the way," she said as awkwardly as a teenager. "I just couldn't, it would have felt like I was cheating on you. That's why I couldn't let that hologram do it last night either," she admitted.

"What? You were with some hologram last night and you still come in here this morning busting my balls about my getting a blow job from a holographic stripper!" Chakotay bellowed, and then put his hand to his head as his hangover began to reassert itself.

It finally dawned on her that she had been using a double standard and she felt very ashamed of herself. "Yes," she admitted meekly, "I know you must think I'm a colossal bitch to do that and you're probably right. I just, I don't know I thought of you with someone else, even a holographic someone else and I just saw red. I'm sorry. Can you forgive me?" she asked gently.

Chakotay looked at her a moment and all the anger he felt melted away. "Okay, on one condition," he said.

"Well, as long as that condition isn't making love to you before the wedding, anything," she replied.

"No, it's not that," he said with a grin. "Could you get me a detox hypo spray and can we please turn the lights off so I can get a few more hours of sleep?" he requested.

"Sure, anything for you, beloved." She said just before calling the EMH and ordering the lights out.


	14. Chapter 14

June 19, 2378 0545 Chakotay's Quarters

Chakotay stared at the ceiling as he'd been doing for he didn't know how long. He couldn't sleep, part of it was he'd slept a lot of yesterday trying to recover from his bachelor party and the fight with Kathryn, but mostly he couldn't sleep because he was so keyed up about tomorrow.

He wasn't sure he wanted to get up either, as he felt that this would probably be the second longest day of his life. The longest day would be tomorrow, his wedding day. He wondered now what had possessed him to agree to a late afternoon wedding. He knew that Kathryn probably needed some time to get her hair and makeup done the exact way she'd want it, but surely a late morning ceremony would have given her enough time. Oh well, it was all settled and even though he and Kathryn were both off duty, thanks to Tuvok insisting they and other key members of the wedding party take a few days off before the wedding, he did have a few things to do today. He was to meet with Tom Paris and Terpe in the morning, when the ships entered orbit of Tépekan. The three of them were to put the finishing touches on the reception and the honeymoon plans, then he and Kathryn were to meet with Terpe's sister Marinkté before the wedding rehearsal. After the wedding rehearsal, the wedding party would have a dinner at a restaurant Pakrité had recommended.

Chakotay finally decided to find out exactly what time it was, and then if it wasn't too early, he'd get up, take a shower and get his day started.

"Computer, what time is it?" he asked.

"The time is 0547," the computer replied.

'Ok,' he said to himself as he pushed the covers aside, 'that's not too awfully early,' and he began to walk to the bathroom. He had just pulled the T-shirt he'd worn to bed over his head and tossed it towards the recycler when he heard a decidedly female voice say, "Well maybe Q doesn't understand what Kathryn sees in you, but I believe I'm beginning to get it," the female Q ran her eyes over Chakotay's form as though she were appraising him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing Q? Get out!" Chakotay yelled at the beautiful omnipotent being.

"Ah ah ah, temper, temper," the lady Q admonished. "If you make me angry I might not give you your wedding gifts," she added.

Chakotay was feeling a bit foolish, standing in his bathroom in only his boxers arguing with an omnipotent being, but he couldn't think of much else to do. He was fairly certain a call to security would be pointless, so he decided to try a different approach. He'd try humoring her and maybe the experience would end quicker and with less dire results than some Q encounters.

"And just what wedding gifts would those be?" he asked trying to sound disinterested.

"Well first, let's get you more properly dressed," the lady Q said as she snapped her fingers. Chakotay suddenly found he was dressed in his uniform and he felt as though he'd just stepped out of the sonic shower.

"No, that's a little too formal," the lady Q said as she snapped her fingers and Chakotay found himself in the casual attire he wore on New Earth.

"Yes, I think that's best," lady Q said.

"Here are your wedding presents," lady Q said as she snapped her fingers again. With a bright flash Maliya and Taya appeared before him.

His sister and niece immediately ran into his arms and showered him with kisses, as he hugged them with all his strength. The three of them said each other's names over and over, as though they couldn't stop saying them. Tears of joy ran freely down the faces of the small, reunited family.

The lady Q began to feel she was being ignored, and she was after all the instigator of this reunion, "Well, well isn't this a touching scene?" she said to gain their attention.

"I don't know that I understand your motivation in bring my sister and niece to me today, but I don't really care. All I can say is thank you, Q. I'm genuinely grateful to you," Chakotay said as he stood with one arm draped around Maliya's shoulders and his other around Taya's.

"I couldn't let Q steal the show by bringing Kathryn's mother and sister to the wedding, besides things would have been out of balance then. Men, they never understand things like that," lady Q said in a long-suffering tone.

"Q brought Kathryn's mother and sister here?" Chakotay asked with a mixture of joy for his fiancée and trepidation for himself. 'Will her family approve of me? Can I handle three Janeway women at the same time?' These thoughts flitted through his mind_._

_Meanwhile in Kathryn's Quarters_

"Come now Kathy, you mustn't sleep the day away, why Chuckles is already wide awake next door," Q said, as he roused Kathryn from her sleep.

"What, what?" Kathryn said in her early morning confusion.

"Q! What are you doing here?" she demanded once she got her wits about her.

"I've come to bring your wedding gifts. Though why I should, considering you're marrying that big oaf Chuckles, I just don't know," Q added.

"Well, you're a bit early, our wedding day isn't until tomorrow," Kathryn said.

"Well if you want to get picky I can tell your mother and Phoebe to wait-" Q began.

"My mother and Phoebe!" Kathryn exclaimed, throwing back her covers and scrambling to stand up beside her bed.

"Ah, so now you're not going to be so picky about when I bring your wedding presents," Q observed.

"Why are you doing this, Q?" she asked with a hint of suspicion.

"Oh, are you going to look a gift horse in the mouth, Kathy?" Q asked.

"As though you were Greek, Q. You don't exactly have a sparkling reputation," she replied sarcastically.

"You wound me. Besides this was Junior's idea. His mother and I just decided to help him out," Q answered.

Before Kathryn could even think of anything else to say,Q continued, "Well as fetching as that night gown is, I don't think you should greet your mother in it. Let's see," Q put his thumb to his mouth as he thought, and then snapped his fingers. Kathryn stood before him in her captain's uniform with her long again hair up in the bun of steel.

"No, a bit too Starfleet," Q said then snapped his fingers again. This time Kathryn was wearing the blue dress she'd worn on New Earth and her hair was in a ponytail held with her favorite barrette.

"Yes, that looks about right," Q commented as Kathryn, a bit stunned by all the quick changes, stood mutely.

Then with another snap of his fingers and the usual accompanying bright light, Kathryn's mother and sister appeared. Q was probably the only one who knew which of the three women let out the loud squeals, but he didn't really care. His mission was over and his plan was to be off until the actual wedding.

"Enjoy yourself Kathy, they go back tomorrow after the reception," and with that said he snapped his fingers and disappeared, barely noticed at all by the mother and daughters who clung to each other laughing and crying.

_Picking up where_ _we left off in Chakotay's quarters_

"Well, I don't know if he's done it yet, but that was the plan," the lady Q said. Just then loud squeals of delight could be heard thru the bulkhead.

"Ah, I suspect he's just brought them in," the lady Q remarked.

"Well, I've things to do and places to be. Oh, your presents go back tomorrow evening after the wedding reception," lady Q told Chakotay, reminding him in a way of Cinderella's Godmother.

"Uh, Q?" Chakotay began.

"Yes, what is it?" lady Q answered, a bit irritated with Chakotay for interrupting her departure.

"Will they remember what happened?" he asked.

"What? Oh, yes of course they will remember what happened. There's no reason to prevent them from remembering. It's not like we're violating any space-time continuum laws or anything like that, we've just translocated a few humans 20,000 light years or so for a couple of days. No big deal," Q said in a matter of fact manner and then snapped her fingers and was gone.

Two of the translocated humans looked at Chakotay for a moment and then broke out laughing.

"You have an omnipotent being for a friend and you're still stuck out here?" Taya asked her uncle incredulously.

"I wouldn't exactly say we're friends, more like acquaintances, or maybe from her point of view I'm one of her pet humans," Chakotay replied wryly.

Chakotay went into his bedroom and picked up his communicator from his bedside table. He smiled at his sister and niece as he activated the communicator, "Chakotay to Janeway".

"Janeway here," came the immediate reply, "Did Q bring you a surprise too?" she asked.

"Yes, want to meet them?" he asked in a joyful voice.

"Yes, we'll be over in a minute. OK?" she asked.

"Can't wait," he replied and grinned at his sister and niece.

"Come on, let's meet them out in the living room," Chakotay said as he gently herded his sister and niece into the next room.

They no sooner walked into the living area than Kathryn and her mother and sister came through the door to his quarters.

"Good Morning!" Kathryn called out happily. "Chakotay, I'd like you to meet my mother Gretchen Janeway," Kathryn said, as she indicated the older of the two women who resembled her.

"A pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Janeway," Chakotay said as he extended his hand in greeting.

"No, you simply must call me Gretchen and I don't think a handshake will do. Give me a hug," Gretchen corrected and instructed him.

At first Chakotay felt a bit awkward hugging the tiny but formidable woman he'd just met, but somehow Gretchen Janeway made him relax despite himself.

"And this is my sister, Phoebe," Kathryn added, as her mother released Chakotay from her embrace.

As Chakotay was mouthing a please to meet you, Phoebe also claimed a hug from her soon to be brother-in-law.

Chakotay released Phoebe and stepped back to his sister's side, and then began making introductions of his family to Kathryn.

"Kathryn, this is my sister Maliya and my niece Taya," he informed her and the three women hugged each other in welcome, and then finally the future in-laws introduced themselves to each other.

Maliya decided that, as they were in her brother's quarters, she should act as hostess, or at least remind her brother of his duties as host.

"Well brother, aren't you going to offer your guests something to eat and a place to sit down?" Maliya asked.

"Oh yes, excuse my manners. Its not every day I get visitors from the Alpha quadrant. Can I get some breakfast for everyone and some coffee?" Chakotay asked.

"Did someone say coffee?" asked Q Jr. as he popped into existence in front of the group, pouring steaming coffee out of a carafe into a coffee cup which he handed to Kathryn. Not knowing what else to do, she thanked him. Magically another cup appeared in his hand, which he filled, then looked at the cup with a slight frown, until sugar and cream appeared in midair and began being added to the cup. When a goodly amount of sugar and cream had been added to the second cup, he handed it to Chakotay.

"Q, I suppose we should have expected you," Chakotay said as he accepted the offered cup of coffee, he smiled despite himself when he took a sip and realized the young Q had gotten his preference for coffee exactly right.

Cups continued to magically appear and Q Jr. continued pouring for the rest of the group.

"Yeah, well bringing gifts for Aunt Kathy's wedding was my idea, although my parents did take the best ideas for themselves," the young Q explained, sounding just a little peeved.

"However, I am in charge of food, beverages and weather," the young Q beamed. "There'll be plenty of coffee and chocolate on this ship from now on, and NO more Leola root, " Q Jr. said with a smile.

"And the weather will be perfect for the wedding ceremony tomorrow, I promise. No rain, not too hot, not too cold and just the mildest of breezes," he added.

"Well, enjoy your breakfast," the young Q said as he swept his hand towards the dining table in Chakotay's quarters which then suddenly was set with six place settings and was furthermore practically groaning with breakfast items.

"I'm going to go visit Icheb," Q Jr. announced.

"Oh, and Uncle Chak," Q Jr. added.

Chakotay balked a bit at Q Jr. calling him Uncle and shortening his name, but considering Q called Kathryn 'Aunt Kathy', he supposed he could learn to live with it.

"Yes, Q," replied Chakotay, his voice betraying that he was finding it a bit hard to be tolerant.

"You sure have a lot of beautiful women in your family," the young Q observed.

Chakotay smiled broadly at the omnipotent boy, "You're right about that."

With that Q Jr. snapped his fingers and was gone.

"Well come on, let's eat, then we can go meet the rest of the family," Chakotay suggested.

"The rest of the family?" inquired Phoebe.

"B'Elanna, Tom and Miral," answered Chakotay.

At Phoebe's puzzled look Chakotay began to explain, "B'Elanna Torres is the Chief Engineer of Voyager, she's also," Chakotay paused a moment to consider his choice of words, "the sister my heart chose. Tom Paris, Admiral Paris' son is her husband and Miral is her baby daughter," he finished explaining.

He turned just in time to see his sister and niece smile warmly at him.

"Oh Tio, me encantaria conocerlos," Taya said enthusiastically.

"What did she say?" Gretchen asked.

"That it would please her to meet them," Chakotay translated for the now slightly embarrassed young woman.

"You know Kathryn, we better replicate some comm. badges for our visitors, because while Taya and Maliya both do speak Standard," Chakotay emphasized the last words and looked at Taya as though to mildly reprimand her for speaking Spanish, "The Tépeans don't and even after six and half years Neelix's Standard is still pretty confused. I think a universal translator's a good idea, don't you?" he asked.

"Yes, I'll replicate them. Why don't you see to it that everyone gets what they want for breakfast?" Kathryn said as she went to Chakotay's replicator.

With that, the family sat down to breakfast, and the soon to be married couple were teased endlessly by their sisters, who found they had a shared passion for embarrassing their older sibling. Several times Gretchen or Taya had to rein Phoebe or Maliya in a bit.

Maliya was delighted to see the way Taya took to Gretchen and vice versa. Taya had taken her grandmother's death very hard and her treatment at the hands of the Cardassians hadn't helped matters any. It seemed that, in Gretchen, Taya had found a surrogate grandmother and that pleased Maliya greatly.

After breakfast, Chakotay moved the women out to the living area to continue talking, and soon they began talking about the plans for the wedding. Chakotay let out a very soft sigh, but Kathryn heard it.

"Oh no, we've hit upon Chakotay's least favorite subject - wedding details," Kathryn said with a laugh.

"Hey, you've got to admit I've been pretty good natured about it," Chakotay said in his own defense.

"Yes, you have. Say, by the way did you finish all the gifts you were making for the wedding party?" she asked.

"Yes, oh and now that Gretchen and Phoebe and Maliya and Taya are here, I can give them their gifts too," Chakotay said, as he practically leapt up from where he'd been sitting on the couch to go get the jewelry he'd made for the four women.

He came back with 4 small flat boxes, which he carefully inspected to make sure he gave each to the appropriate woman. "Go ahead, open them," he said anxiously.

"Oh Chakotay, they're beautiful," Maliya said as she held the necklace and earrings he had made for her. The other women had similar words of praise for the handmade jewelry. When Maliya examined Taya's set, she could see that her brother had inherited their mother's artistic way with heishi. The two sets were similar to each other, but different in a way that somehow suggested the relationship between the wearers. When she looked at Gretchen and Phoebe's sets, she could see the same interrelatedness there too.

"I'm glad you like them," Chakotay said.

The women continued talking about the jewelry and the wedding, until Chakotay decided he could take it no more.

"I hate to break things up, but if we're going to see B'Elanna and Tom and Miral, before Tom and I have to meet with Terpe, we better be going," Chakotay said interrupting the women's chatter about the wedding.

"Do you want to come along?" he asked Kathryn and her mother and sister.

"No, darling I think it would be pretty overwhelming for B'Elanna to have the six of us barge in on her this morning. Besides I've got lots of things to discuss with Mom and Phoebe. Oh, and send Maliya and Taya back to us when you and Tom head off for your little meeting with Terpe, OK?" Kathryn requested and then reached up to place a tender kiss on Chakotay's cheek.

"OK, will do," he smiled down at her and gave her a quick kiss on the lips, then turned and ushered his sister and niece out the door of his quarters.

On his way to Tom and B'Elanna's, Chakotay decided to ask his sister a favor.

"Maliya, I'd like to ask you to do something for me tomorrow," he said as they entered the turbolift and ordered deck nine.

"What dear brother? I'll do anything I can for you on your wedding day," she promised.

"Well, I made a fetish necklace for Kathryn and I'd like you to give it to her, as a gift from the family, OK?" he asked.

"Oh, of course Chakotay, I only wish I could have made something for her myself and for you too," Maliya answered.

"Yes," Taya agreed, "we should have at least made Uncle a vest for his wedding," the young woman lamented.

"Well don't worry about it. We're the only three who will be at the wedding who know anything about the ways of our people, so no one will think it strange that I'm not wearing the traditional vest, " Chakotay assured the women just as they reached the Paris-Torres Quarters.

June 19, 2378 0747 Paris-Torres Quarters

Tom was just finishing his breakfast and was debating whether to wake B'Elanna or not when the chime to their quarters sounded.

'Geesh, Chakotay's awful early,' Tom thought as he walked toward the living area.

He called out to B'Elanna, "Hey Honey we've got company. I think it's your overeager brother," Tom warned her.

"Come in," Tom called out.

"Chak-," Tom started then stopped as he saw the two beautiful women with his 'brother-in-law'.

"Well as long as you're staring at them, let me introduce you. This is my sister Maliya," Chakotay said as he indicated the older of the two Native American women standing just inside the door of the quarters. "And this is my niece Taya," Chakotay said indicating the younger woman.

"The fellow doing the imitation of a flycatcher is my best man Tom Paris," Chakotay said teasing Tom.

As the two women shook hands with Tom and exchanged greetings, Chakotay looked around for his 'other sister'.

"Where's B'Elanna?" he asked.

"Just getting up. You know I do have to nurse Miral in the middle of the night," B'Elanna said as she came into the room in a robe cradling the baby she'd just mentioned.

"Uh, sorry I guess I wasn't thinking. It's just that I wanted to get to spend some time with you and Maliya and Taya before Tom and I leave to meet Terpe," Chakotay started to explain.

B'Elanna held up her hand to stop him. "Look why don't you introduce us and explain how they got here and we'll worry about how you're going to make this up to me later, OK?" she said with a smile.

"Uh, yeah. This is Maliya and this is Taya and Q brought them here," Chakotay told B'Elanna.

"I didn't think he was all that fond of you," B'Elanna replied.

"Uh, not that Q the other one, the lady Q," Chakotay corrected B'Elanna.

"Oh yes, that Q was rather fond of you, and I think for obvious reasons," B'Elanna said with a tone of sisterly disapproval.

"Q, the other Q that is, brought Kathryn's mother and sister. The four of them are here until the end of the wedding reception," Chakotay explained further ignoring the jibe B'Elanna had made.

"Well, lets make the most of the time they are here," B'Elanna said, as she herded her 'brother', 'sister' and 'niece' into her living area.

"Can I get anyone something for breakfast," Tom asked remembering to be the good host.

"No thank you Tom, we had a wonderful feast thanks to the boy Q," Maliya responded.

"Q Jr. was here too?" B'Elanna asked, sounding as though she hoped she'd heard wrong.

"Yeah, don't worry of the three of them he's the closest to being civilized, besides he's off visiting Icheb," Chakotay answered with a grin. "

"Bringing our family here as a gift for our wedding was Q Jr.'s idea but his parents 'borrowed' it. He said he's now in charge of food, beverages and the weather," Chakotay added in further defense of the younger Q.

"I meant to ask earlier Uncle, what is Leola root?" Taya asked as she tried to get a better look at the baby in her new 'aunt's' arms.

"Leola root is the single best source of vitamins and minerals in the Delta quadrant AND the worst tasting stuff you can imagine. Why do you ask?" Tom answered as he brought breakfast to B'Elanna.

When Chakotay shot Tom a look he added, "Hey I'm her Uncle too aren't I?"

B'Elanna let Taya hold Miral so she could eat her breakfast.

"Huh, I hadn't thought of that, but I guess you are. And to answer your question to Taya, Q Jr. claims to have rid Voyager of all Leola root." Chakotay replied.

"Well hallelujah, praise the Lord and pass the ammunition," Tom said enthusiastically.

"Don't mind him, he's a fighter pilot," Chakotay said in a stage whisper to Maliya and Taya.

"Oh, so we have two living brain donors in one family," Maliya kidded.

"Hey I represent that remark," Tom and Chakotay said in unison, they looked at each other, slapped one another on the back and roared with laughter until Miral woke up crying.

"Oh great, you two look what you've done," B'Elanna scolded.

"Here, let me see if I can put things right," Chakotay said as he reached out his big hands to pick Miral up from Taya.

"Let him give it a try. He was very good with my children when they were babies. I think it's his voice," Maliya said, as Chakotay held Miral in his large hands, rocking her and singing to her in his native language.

"Besides Aunt B'Elanna, he needs the practice. After all this time next year he will probably have a little one of his own to soothe," Taya added with a teasing smile.

"Not next year, the year after. We have to wait a full year after we stopped the contraceptive boosters until it's considered safe to conceive a child," Chakotay explained.

Having soothed Miral back to sleep in a matter of minutes, he started to hand the sleeping child back to her mother, but B'Elanna shook her head and pointed to Maliya, who gladly took the baby.

"Bridge to Commander Chakotay," Tuvok's voice interrupted.

"Yes, Tuvok?" Chakotay replied.

"You wished to be informed when we entered orbit of Tépekan," Tuvok replied.

"Yes, thank you Tuvok," Chakotay replied.

"Well Tom, I think that's our cue to go meet with Terpe," he said.

"Will you be gone long, brother?" Maliya asked.

"No, we were planning to be back by lunch, but I think we'll try to be even faster than that. When I explain to Terpe about your being here, he'll understand my wanting to get back quickly," Chakotay replied.

"Well, don't rush on our account. Kathryn wanted us to spend some time with her, and I for one am having fun visiting with my new sister and niece," Maliya said as smiled at the baby in her arms.

Tom kissed B'Elanna and the baby, and Chakotay gave all the women a quick kiss, then kissed Miral's head.

"B'Elanna, you take care of getting Maliya and Taya to Kathryn for me, OK?" Chakotay asked.

"Yes, OK now go do whatever it is you guys have to do and stop worrying," B'Elanna said, and his sisters and niece all shared a laugh at his expense.

June 19, 2378 0830 A mountain resort on Tépekan

Chakotay, Tom and Terpe were making their way along a trail from the beam down site to the resort Terpe had recommended for the wedding reception. He had also recommended a cabin near the resort to Chakotay as a possible honeymoon spot. As the men walked through the pine trees and took in the beauty of the mountains and the wildlife in the area, Chakotay filled Terpe in about his family's sudden appearance in the Delta Quadrant.

"So these Q people just made your family appear here?" Terpe asked incredulously, as he and Chakotay and Tom approached a very large log structure.

"Yes, the Q are capricious, sometimes they do things that are quite magnanimous and other times things that are thoughtlessly cruel," Chakotay said.

"But these particular Q seem to have improved after becoming parents," he added.

"I wonder if someone will be saying that about you and Kathryn a few years from now," Tom said slyly.

"What," Chakotay asked with a grin, "that we are capricious or that we've improved after becoming parents?"

The three men all grinned at each other as they reached the door to the lodge.

"So what do you think of this area, Chakotay?" Terpe asked as he opened the door for the other two men.

"It's beautiful, but before I book the cabin I have to be sure Kathryn will like it. My bride to be is not the roughing it sort." Chakotay said with a smile, as he remembered their conversations on New Earth.

The resort managers showed them around, and Chakotay and Tom became convinced that the Lodge's ballroom would be perfect for the reception. Tom volunteered to work with the Lodge's staff to get all the details of the reception nailed down for tomorrow.

Terpe and the resort manager took Chakotay to see the cabin they thought would make a nice honeymoon suite. As Chakotay wandered through the "cabin" he realized this was the perfect place for him and Kathryn. The bathroom had an enormous bathtub and there was a hot tub on the deck outside the bedroom that would please her. A large canopy bed dominated the bedroom that he hoped would please them both. There was a large kitchen with every imaginable cooking device and plenty of pots, pans and dishes that intrigued him.

As Chakotay was checking out the kitchen, the resort manager asked him, "Do you or your wife to be enjoy cooking, Mr. Chakotay?"

Chakotay paused to think that question over, "Well, she hates to cook and I, well I don't particularly like to cook," he paused and smiled, "unless I'm cooking for her," he concluded.

"Well, then we will make sure the refrigeration unit and pantry are fully stocked for you," the manager said.

"OK, but if you don't mind I'd like to have someone from my ship bring down a replicator, it's a device that can make foods and beverages for us based on what we program into it. That way Kathryn can have her coffee. Kathryn without coffee is not something I want to deal with!' Chakotay said with a laugh.

"Well if you're satisfied with this cabin then I think we're done here and you can go back to your ship and visit with your family," Terpe said.

"All right, I'll make arrangements for payment and then I'll go back to Voyager and then I'll see you at the rehearsal this afternoon?" Chakotay asked Terpe.

Terpe nodded and Chakotay went off with the resort manager to make arrangements to pay for his honeymoon suite.

June 19, 2378 1100 Messhall

The wedding party, minus the groom, and the alpha quadrant visitors had all met in the mess hall for lunch. Kathryn's bridesmaids gathered round her. Marla Gilmore asked, "Are you sure you don't want your sister or Chakotay's sister or niece to take some of our places in the ceremony?"

"No, they already have parts in the wedding. They are the family. Besides Chakotay wouldn't have anyone to add to his groomsmen so it's not fair. No, we will go with what we planned. I'm sure Phoebe and Maliya and Taya will understand," Kathryn replied looking towards her sister and her future in-laws.

"Of course we do," Phoebe said and Maliya and Taya nodded their heads and laughed as though they had a secret.

Just then Chakotay entered the Mess hall and headed straight for Kathryn's side.

"Ah there you are, I was beginning to think you'd gotten cold feet a day early," Kathryn teased as Chakotay placed a kiss on her cheek and took his seat.

"No," Chakotay chuckled a bit "I was just taking care of some last minute details including figuring out who's going to stay on board during the ceremony," he said.

"Oh no, you mean some of your crew will have to miss the wedding?" Gretchen asked.

"Just a few, we'll have a skeleton crew of volunteers," Chakotay answered.

"Why, Uncle Chak?" Q Jr. asked, as he suddenly materialized behind his 'aunt' and 'uncle'.

"Q, someone has to stay on board to make sure nothing goes wrong with the ship, and to beam everyone else up after the reception," Kathryn explained.

"No they don't, I can make sure nothing happens to the ship, and then I can put the crew back on the ship after the wedding," the young omnipotent being explained.

"Well," Kathryn began but was quickly interrupted.

"Please Aunt Kathy, let me do this one more thing for you, OK?" Q Jr. pleaded.

"Junior, don't plead with a mortal it's unseemly," the lady Q said as she materialized in the mess hall.

"You know Kathryn, I almost envy you," the lady Q said as her eyes raked over Chakotay.

"Why's that Q?" Kathryn asked as she tried to hold her temper.

"Well, unlike the males of the Q continuum, the human male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things," the lady Q said.

Given the number of eyes that rolled in the mess hall one might have thought there was some sort of epidemic going on.

"Are you just going to sit there and take that?" Q asked Chakotay, as he suddenly appeared in his trademark flash of light.

"I was wondering when you'd show up," Chakotay said, and then added, "And yes I'm just going to sit here and take what your better half said, after all, there is no use denying that human beings are animals. We just happen to be sentient animals and as such we are imminently trainable. As to the firmness and kindness, it's much appreciated". Chakotay enjoyed watching the elder Qs fume when their condescension didn't provoke him.

"Hem, I'll have to add that to the list," Kathryn said as she placed a hand around the base of Chakotay's neck and then rubbed her thumb across his cheek and ear before lightly kissing him.

"Add what to what list?" Chakotay asked a bit distracted.

"Add your wonderful way of dealing with the Q to the list of reasons why I love you," she answered.

"I hope it's a long list," Chakotay said, as he looked into the eyes of the woman he loved.

"Yes, it's a very long list," Kathryn replied as everyone in the room, the Qs included, suddenly felt they were intruding.

"Well, I've got places to be, things to do, people to annoy," Q Jr. said as he snapped his fingers and disappeared.

"Yes, well we should be going too," the lady Q snapped her fingers and she and Q disappeared.

"Hey, I wasn't ready to leave," Q's disembodied voice said.

"Too bad, Q because we're going and don't argue with me," the lady Q's disembodied voice could be heard to say.

Chakotay laughed, and then Q reappeared in front of him.

"Oh, you're laughing now, but just you wait. Kathy, will be leading you around like a bull with a ring in his nose in no time," Q said as he sneered into Chakotay's face.

"Q!" bellowed the lady Q. "Leave your pet humans alone and get your sorry excuse for a persona home to the continuum. You can visit them tomorrow at the wedding reception," she said and Q disappeared again.

"Well, at least with the Qs dropping by occasionally life must never be dull," ventured Phoebe.

"Oh yes it's always interesting. Of course you know what the Chinese say about interesting times," Kathryn said and many heads around the room nodded in acknowledgement.

After the luncheon Chakotay and Kathryn found themselves torn, each wanted to spend time with their families, but they both wanted to spend some time together alone too. Finally they decided just to spend the time with their families, reasoning that they had the rest of their lives to spend together. The day progressed faster than Chakotay would have thought possible, what with the wedding rehearsal and a rehearsal dinner too.

The rehearsal had seemed a bit strange to Chakotay, as the priestess had merely told them what would happen at each stage and where people would stand. She'd actually spent more time with the bridesmaids and groomsmen explaining how to place the cords in the bride and groom's hands. She'd also spent a considerable amount of time with Phoebe Janeway though Chakotay didn't know what they had talked about as he'd been distracted by Naomi who wanted to be sure she had her part of the ceremony right.

The wedding rehearsal dinner turned out to be a very special social gathering thanks to Seven of Nine, Naomi and Neelix. Seven had overheard one of the bridesmaids say that because of seating arrangements only the best man, matron of honor and the immediate family of the bride and groom ever got to spend any time with the bride and groom. Seven asked Kathryn if this was true and Kathryn agreed with that assessment. Seven asked if Kathryn would mind if she devised a way to improve the chances of the rest of the wedding party to have some time with the bride and groom. Kathryn was a bit hesitant and asked Seven to consult with others and certainly with her and Chakotay before implementing the plan.

After studying the situation, Seven suggested that they have a multi course meal and that everyone except the bride and groom be reseated after every course. Neelix helped with planning the courses of the meals and Naomi helped Seven with decisions about whether to break up certain "subunits" as Seven called them. It was Naomi who suggested stacking different place cards on top of each other so that at the end of a course, the cards could be easily changed and you could see who should sit where. When Kathryn and Chakotay were given the plan they approved with one minor addition, Chakotay suggested each person be told at the beginning of the dinner the progression of tables they'd be sitting at through the dinner so the change of courses didn't become too chaotic.

The rehearsal dinner was a smashing success thanks to Seven and Naomi's work and to Q Jr. for his assistance to Neelix's normal fare. Far too soon Chakotay found himself bidding goodnight to his sister and niece and to Kathryn's mother and sister as they escorted the women to their visitor's quarters. He then walked Kathryn to her quarters and they went inside to say good night to each other.

"Spirits, do you realize this is the last time I have to do this?" Chakotay asked animatedly.

"Do what?" Kathryn asked a bit confused.

"Say goodnight and then go to my quarters," he answered.

"Tomorrow night when I say good night, I'll just turn out the lights and hold you closer to me than I ever have before," Chakotay explained to her.

"Oh Chakotay," Kathryn said as she lowered her head to rest on his shoulder. He held her close and breathed in the scent of her hair. After awhile he pushed her back a bit from him so he could look into her eyes.

"Well, I let you go now and I guess I won't see you until the wedding ceremony," he said with a tinge of regret.

"Yes, I will meet you in the glade at 1500," she said then reached up on tiptoe to give him one more kiss.

As Chakotay walked back to his quarters he wondered how he could bear the wait until tomorrow, he also wondered if sleep would be possible at all.


	15. Chapter 15

June 20, 2378 1330 Voyager Guest Quarters

"I hope the vest Q Jr. made appear fits Uncle. It looked just like Daddy's and Uncle is so much broader through the chest than Daddy was." Taya said.

"I'm sure Q Jr. made it to fit Chakotay," Maliya replied to her daughter's comment with a trace of sadness in her voice

"I can't believe how nervous Uncle seems," Taya said wanting to change the subject as she could see that her mother was becoming sad thinking about her late father.

"Oh, most men are like that on their wedding day. They are suddenly getting what they want with all their hearts, and they begin to question themselves," Maliya explained.

"Aboutwhat?" Taya asked.

"They wonder if the reality they are about to experience will be as good as their imagination. What they don't realize is that that's a silly question. It won't be exactly like they imagined and yet in many ways it will probably be better," Maliya explained and saw he daughter consider her words.

"Of course the same can be said for women's expectations of marriage, but for some reason we don't seem to suffer the anxiety that men do," she added.

"I wonder why that is?" Taya asked.

"Maybe because the bride is too busy making herself beautiful for the groom," Maliya said with a laugh.

"Speaking of which, we better take that necklace to Kathryn or Uncle Chakotay will have a fit," Taya said.

"Yes and besides, I want to see how she looks in a traditional Mayan wedding dress. Don't you?" Maliya said.

"Yes mother, let's go," Taya replied as she picked up the necklace and moved towards the door.

June 20, 2378 1350 Chakotay's Quarters

Tom wasn't sure what to do with Chakotay. The older man was so anxious he was pacing about his quarters in his boxers like a wild cat trapped in a cage. And his short-term memory was so frazzled, he'd set down his wedding clothes a few moments ago and now couldn't remember where he'd put them.

"Chakotay, stop!" Tom barked at him. "Take a deep breath and calm down. The shirt and pants are here in the quarters somewhere," Tom said.

Chakotay stopped, and did as Tom suggested, and suddenly remembered. "I hung them up again, not wanting them to get messed up," he said.

As Chakotay walked to his closet, he asked Tom, "What's wrong with me, Tom?"

"Why am I so jumpy?" he asked as he pulled on his wedding pants.

Tom stared at Chakotay's big bronze chest, a sharp contrast to the off white linen pants, and thought how much Kathryn was going to enjoy that site. With a sigh he launched into his attempt to explain male pre-marital jitters, "Well, I think it has to do with that animal analogy, Chakotay. You see our ancestors were anything but monogamous and somewhere in the back of our minds is a - I don't know, call it a racial memory, that is screaming at us not to get tied down to one female," Tom explained.

Chakotay harrumphed, then wailed, "But Tom it's what I want. What I've wanted for years," he said with emphasis.

"Well maybe your afraid that once you get it, you won't want it," Tom suggested.

"No way, I'll always want to be with Kathryn!" Chakotay argued.

"Well maybe there's some other fear you're not willing to face up to," Tom half-heartedly suggested.

"Like what?" Chakotay asked as he shouldered into his off white wedding shirt and began doing up the buttons

"Oh I don't know, maybe you're afraid that after all this time waiting, maybe the sex won't be as soul shattering as you thought it would be," Tom suggested.

Chakotay's head shot up from where he was buttoning the shirt, but he quickly ducked his head again and remained silent. Tom knew he'd struck a nerve, when Chakotay didn't come up with a snappy comeback.

"Ah, so some of the nerves is about the sex huh, big guy?" Tom asked.

Chakotay looked at Tom and for a moment Tom was worried that he'd pushed a bit too much into a very private area. Then the older man again ducked his head and began a soft response as he put on the traditional Mayan vest, a bright predominantly red garment.

"I guess," he paused for a moment, "yeah, I've got some anxiety about that, if I'm honest about it, and that feels sort of stupid. I mean I'm a grown man, I know all the rational arguments about why it shouldn't be a big deal, and all the stuff about how making it a big deal can back fire on a guy, but I can't help it," Chakotay lamented.

"Chakotay, I think ever guy feels that way about _the_ woman. But you know what? If Kathryn is anything like B'Elanna she's gonna say or do something that will make it all OK. You wait, you'll see," Tom reassured his friend.

"Thanks Tom, man you're really having to do a lot of hard work as my best man," Chakotay said with a laugh.

"Hey, either I take care of my wife's big brother right or answer to her," Tom said jokingly.

"How do I look?" Chakotay said and held his hands out and slowly turned around.

"Not bad and certainly more comfortable than the dress uniform I wore to my and B'Elanna's wedding," Tom said.

"Well, big guy, we've got aboutan hour to show time. Shall we beam down and hang around the ceremony grounds?" Tom asked.

"Yeah, may as well. I'm too nervous to stay here. Maybe being out doors on a real planet will calm my nerves," Chakotay answered.

_Meanwhile in Kathryn's quarters_

"You look absolutely beautiful Katie," Gretchen Janeway said through her motherly tears.

"Oh Mom, don't cry or you'll get me started," Kathryn said.

"Don't you dare cry until your eye makeup dries," ordered Sue Nicoletti who had helped Kathryn with her makeup.

Several of the bridesmaids had marveled during the process at how long it could take to get such a beautiful yet natural look, to which Sue had flippantly replied, "Hey why do you think I have such trouble being on time to my duty shifts?" the room dissolved in laughter.

Kathryn's mother was right though, her daughter did look beautiful. She was lovely from the flower crown that adorned her stunning auburn hair to the simplicity of the off white linen wedding dress with its scooped neckline and elegant embroidery to the multi-colored sash tied at her waist, and the gorgeous heishi necklaces and the intricately carved fetishes on the necklace Maliya and Taya had just brought in, on down to her dainty bare feet.

"Well, what do you think?" Kathryn asked as she did a passable pirouette.

"If Chakotay were wearing socks you'd knock them off," B'Elanna said.

"Come on we'd best get everyone else in their dresses," Phoebe said.

"You know I like these traditional Mayan wedding clothes, they're beautiful, yet comfortable," Marla observed as the women quickly helped each other with their simple cotton dresses and the colored sashes that would match the binding cords they would later use in the ceremony, then they all put on the heishi necklaces, bracelets and earrings Chakotay had made for each of them.

"Yes, and no shoes to hurt your feet either," said Samantha as she tied the rainbow colored sash that she'd been given to wear to match Neelix's colorful sash, as it had been decided that asking Neelix to wear an off white shirt and trousers and a black sash would simple have been too much for a Talaxian to bear.

After a few minutes with hairbrushes and cosmetic brushes, the bride's party decided they were ready to go planetside.

"OK, someone check to make sure the groom's not between here and the transporter room," said B'Elanna.

Suddenly the women found themselves standing on the surface of Tépekan at the edge of a large meadow. They could hear music coming from the center of the meadow.

"What happened?" several of the wedding party asked at once.

"I transported you to the surface so you didn't have to worry about Uncle Chak seeing Aunt Kathy before the wedding, although actually he and his groomsmen are already here on the surface. That's why I've put you ladies behind these trees," Q Jr. said.

"Thank you Q, we could have handled the situation ourselves but it was very sweet of you to do it for us," Kathryn said, trying to be tolerant of the young omnipotent being who seemed so eager to be of assistance to her on her wedding day.

"The music is very evocative, I wonder if it's Tépean?" Sue Jenkins asked.

"No, it's Mayan. It's the music that was played before my wedding," Maliya explained through tears.

"Did I do something wrong? When you were thinking about that music, I thought it would be OK for Aunt Kathy and Uncle Chak's wedding too. I mean Aunt Kathy wants the wedding to reflect the traditions of both of their families," Q Jr. was a bit stricken that he'd inadvertently upset Maliya. He really liked Uncle Chak's sister.

"No, no its perfect Q. It just made me miss my husband Pacal for a moment. He and Chakotay were best friends almost from the time they could walk. Pacal would have loved to be at Chakotay's side for his wedding, as Chakotay was at his," Maliya explained.

"It sucks that the continuum won't allow me to bring mortals back to life," the young Q said sulkily.

Maliya wondered if a mortal would be allowed to ruffle the hair of a Q, because at this moment that's exactly what she wanted to do, but just as she was pondering the thought, Kathryn beat her to it.

"Q, you really are becoming a sweet young man," Kathryn said as she ruffled his hair. "Now, why don't you go get a good seat for the wedding," she suggested.

"OK Aunt Kathy, but if you need something just think of me and I'll be there instantly," Q Jr. responded.

"All I really need is for him to stop meddling," Kathryn said with a laugh after the boy had left.

Several women of the wedding party went to the edge of the trees and peered into the meadow to see what was going on. Icheb, Gerron, Baxter and Lessing were acting as ushers showing the Voyager and Sentinel crew to their seats. Tal Celes couldn't help laughing when she saw the Qs walk up like a normal family to be seated, apparently there was some disagreement as to whether they wanted to sit on the bride's side or the groom's. Finally the lady Q and Q Jr. followed Icheb to the groom's side and Q followed a very nervous Baxter to the bride's side.

Sooner than they had expected the ushers arrived to take the alpha quadrant visitors to their places. Then everyone watched as young Naomi, dressed very similarly to the bridesmaid in a simple off white cotton dress with a colorful sash and heishi necklace and bracelet, came forward and lighted the candles on the altar. The young girl explained that the candles represented the four cardinal points. First she lighted the red candle, which sat at the eastern edge of the altar, then the black candle on the western edge, then the white candle at the northern edge, then the yellow candle at the southern edge. She told the guests that the candles also represent the four gods; the Bacabs that Chakotay's people believe stand at the corners of the world and hold up the sky. Finally she lit the central blue green candle and explained that it was dedicated to Mother Earth.

While the guests had watched Naomi light the candles the groomsmen had come to escort the bridesmaids to the ceremony. Tom then abandoned his post at Chakotay's side, long enough to bring B'Elanna down the aisle to her place at the altar.

Finally, the moment everyone had waited for arrived. Tuvok stood at the end of the long aisle with Kathryn on his arm, everyone quieted and as the strains of Purcell's Trumpet Voluntary sounded, he led Kathryn at a very stately pace down the long expanse of grass that led to the altar.

Chakotay waited at the altar for his bride. He was thankful the doctor didn't have a medical tricorder out, or he would have noticed how Chakotay's heart was nearly beating out of his chest. As Tuvok and Kathryn grew closer, Chakotay glanced down at his bride's bare feet and he nearly laughed when he realized that although Tuvok was clad in his Star Fleet dress uniform he was, in deference to the customs of Chakotay's people, also bare foot.

As Kathryn arrived at Chakotay's side, Marinkté came from the side of the large wedding party to stand in front of the bride and groom. She was dressed in the cream and burgundy ceremonial robes of her order.

"All of you gathered here today are to be witness to the miracle of love and faith that is the joining of two lives. This ceremony will be like none any of you have ever witnessed before because it is to be a mixture of three cultures. A mixture of Chakotay's culture and Kathryn's culture and a little of the culture of the people of Tépekan," the priestess explained.

"It is customary among Tépeans of all faiths to start a joining with a blessing, amongst the information Chakotay and Kathryn sent me about Terran marriage customs, I found one which seemed in keeping with our ways," Marinkté said.

"Kathryn please face Chakotay and hold his hands, palms up, so you may see the gift that they are to you," the priestess instructed Kathryn.

"These are the hands of your best friend, strong and vibrant with love, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as he promises to love you all the days of his life," she intoned as Kathryn looked into Chakotay's eyes and saw all his love for her there on display in his warm deep brown eyes.

"These are the hands that will work along side yours, as together you build your future, as you laugh and cry, as you share your innermost secrets and dreams.

These are the hands you will place with expectant joy against your belly, until he too, feels his child stir within you," as the priestess said this last phrase Chakotay and Kathryn each felt here heart's swell with the dreamed of joy of that day.

"These are the hands that look so large and strong, yet will be so gentle as he holds your baby for the first time.

These are the hands that will work long hours for you and your new family

These are that hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.

These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes: tears of sorrow and tears of joy

These are the hands that will comfort you in illness, and hold you when fear or grief wracks your mind.

These are the hands that will tenderly lift your chin and brush your cheek as they raise your face to look into his eyes: eyes that are filled completely with his overwhelming love and desire for you," as the priestess finished she turned to face Chakotay more directly.

"Chakotay, please hold Kathryn's hands, palms up, where you may see the gift that they are to you. These are the hands of your best friend, small and delicate yet strong, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as she pledges her love and commitment to you all the days of her life," as the priestess began her description of Kathryn's hands, Chakotay smiled almost shyly at Kathryn as he held her small hands in his large ones.

The priestess continued, "These are the hands that will labor side by side with yours, as together you shape your future, as you laugh and cry, as you reveal your heart's desires to one another.

These are the hands that will hold yours in joy and excitement and hope when she tells you that you are to have a child, that together you have created a new life," again as they heard the priestess' words, Kathryn and Chakotay felt a swelling of joy at the thought of their shared dream one day coming true.

"These are the hands that will hold your child in tender love, soothing through illness and hurt, supporting and encouraging along the way, and knowing when it is time to let go," Marinkté continued.

"These are the hands that will massage tension from you neck and back in the evenings after you've both had a long hard day," at this they grinned at one another remembering who it was of the couple who was the masseur.

"These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times.

These are the hands that will comfort you when you are sick, or console you when you are grieving.

They are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.

These are the hands that will give you support as she encourages you to chase down your dreams. Together as a team, everything you wish for can be realized," Marinkté finished the individual description of the couples hands, then she changed her focus of attention to somehow seem to include everything and everyone.

"Creator, bless these hands that you see before you this day. May they always be held by one another. Give them the strength to hold on during the storms of stress and the dark of disillusionment. Keep them tender and gentle as they nurture each other in their wondrous love. Help these hands to continue building a relationship founded in love, rich in caring, and devotion. May Chakotay and Kathryn see their four hands as healer, protector, shelter and guide. So be it." Marinkté concluded the blessing then addressed the guests.

"Now that we have blessed these hands let us make them fast one to the other with the binding cords of joy, strife and love. This is our tradition of Hand Fasting and the Declaration of Intent," the priestess said as way of introducing the next part of the ceremony.

"Know now before you go further, that since your lives have crossed in this existence you have formed ties between each other. As you seek to enter this state of matrimony you should strive to make real the ideals that give meaning to both this ceremony and the institution of marriage.

With full awareness, know that within this circle you are not only declaring your intent to be hand fasted before your friends and family, but you speak that intent also to your creative higher powers.

The promises made today and the ties that are bound here greatly strengthen your union; they will cross the years and lives of each soul's growth," Marinkté concluded the traditional admonition to a couple about to be married

"Wait priestess, I claim the sister's right to challenge the worthiness of this man to be bound into my family!" Phoebe said as she stood in the front row of guests.

The Voyager crew was shocked, but quickly noticed that their Tépean counterparts seemed to be pleased by the sudden interruption, as though they were watching a play and one of the actors had just introduced their favorite scene.

Chakotay was confused; he didn't remember this in the rehearsal. He leaned a bit to be able to see Terpe and saw his friend nodding his head at him.

The priestess said very softly to him, "It's alright this is traditional. I'll talk to my brother later about his forgetting to tell you about it," she said with a bit of pique at her brother's thoughtlessness.

"Now just answer the question she will ask you," Marinkté advised.

"Go ahead, challenge the man," Marinkté said to Phoebe.

"Who are you that you claim the right to be bonded to my sister?" Phoebe said, as though she had doubts about Chakotay's worthiness.

Chakotay thought for a moment. What should he say? In a moment of sudden inspiration he knew. He would layout all his impressive sounding titles and even the scary ones, and then he'd sweep them all aside for the simple truth.

He looked at his sister and niece in the front row on the opposite side of the aisle from Phoebe and actually winked at them, then turned to all the guests and said in a strong voice, "I am Chakotay, son of Kolopak, eldest son of the Clan Jaguar, leader of the True People," Chakotay paused for a moment and smiled at his sister over the way the universal translator had handled his last title and his tribe's name.

"I was Captain Chakotay, the Maquis rebel and am now Commander Chakotay, First Officer of the Starship Voyager," Chakotay continued.

Kathryn felt very proud of her husband to be, but she was about to be astounded by what he said next.

"And all of these titles are meaningless," Chakotay said and an audible gasp could be heard from the guests, "the only important thing is that I am the man who loves her with all that I am. Long ago I swore to myself that I would stay by her side, doing all that I could to make her burden lighter, that her needs would always come first. I have kept that pledge to this day and will keep it until I can no longer draw breath. She is the other half of my soul. Being near her has brought me the only peace I have ever known," Chakotay then turned directly to Phoebe, "I implore you, find me worthy of being your sister's bond mate," he finished in a tone that belied the pleading phrase he had spoken.

Phoebe looked at the priestess and nodded, "He'll do," she said, and took her seat as the Tépeans present cheered and whistled until Marinkté hushed them.

"Do you still seek to enter this ceremony?" as Marinkté asked the traditional question laughter erupted from the guests.

When the laughter died down Chakotay and Kathryn smiling broadly answered together, "Yes, we seek to enter".

Marinkté turned to Chakotay and asked him, "Chakotay, will you cause her pain?"

Chakotay reluctantly replied, "I may".

"Is that your intent?" Marinkté asked him.

"No," was Chakotay's simple and emphatic answer.

Marinkté turned to Kathryn and asked her, "Kathryn, will you cause him pain?"

"I may," Kathryn admitted.

Again Marinkté asked, "Is that your intent?"

"No," Kathryn replied emphatically.

Marinkté addressed herself to both of them, "Will you share each other's pain and seek to ease it?"

"Yes," they answered together.

"And so the binding is made," intoned Marinkté. "Join your hands," she instructed them.

At this point Joe Carey and Marla Gilmore came forward and together placed a red cord through and across Chakotay and Kathryn's joined hands. Joe patted Chakotay on the back and Marla kissed Kathryn on the cheek. Then they rejoined their respective halves of the bridal party.

Marinkté turned to Kathryn and asked her, "Kathryn, will you share his laughter?"

"Yes," Kathryn answered quickly.

Marinkté turned to Chakotay and asked him "Chakotay, will you share her laughter?"

"Yes," Chakotay answered and smiled his wonderful full dimpled smile.

"Will both of you look for the brightness in life and the positive in each other?" Marinkté asked them.

"Yes," they answered together.

"And so the binding is made," Marinkté said as Susan Nicoletti and Mike Ayala placed a second yellow chord in the couples' hands. Mike gave his captain and friend as much of a bear hug as he could without causing him to loose contact with Kathryn and Susan gave Kathryn a cheek-to-cheek hug then they returned to their places.

Marinkté turned to Kathryn and asked her "Kathryn, will you burden him?"

Kathryn stared intently into Chakotay's eyes as she answered, "I may".

"Is that you intent?" the priestess asked.

"No." Kathryn answered simply.

Marinkté turned to Chakotay and asked him, "Chakotay, will you burden her?"

"I may," he answered.

Marinkté asked, "Is that your intent?"

"No, never," Chakotay answered and the priestess looked at him momentarily for altering the traditional response.

Marinkté asked both of them, "Will you share the burdens of each so that your spirits may grow in this union?"

"Yes," they responded together.

As Marinkté repeated the traditional words, "And so the binding is made," Samantha and Neelix came forward and placed the third black chord in the couple's hands. Samantha gave them each a kiss and Neelix hugged them both before he and Sam returned to their places.

Marinkté continued with the traditional words of the ceremony, "Kathryn, will you share his dreams?"

"Yes," Kathryn replied.

Marinkté similarly asked, "Chakotay, will you share her dreams?"

"Yes," he responded.

The priestess then asked them both, "Will you dream together to create new realities and hopes?"

"Yes," they both answered.

As Marinkté repeated the traditional words, "And so the binding is made," Seven of Nine and Harry Kim came forward and placed the fourth white chord in the couple's hands. Harry bear hugged his mentor and Seven hesitantly placed a kiss on Kathryn's cheek.

Marinkté continued the ceremony, "Chakotay will you cause her anger?"

Chakotay gave the expected answer, "I may".

"Is that your intent?" she asked.

"No," he replied.

The priestess turned to Kathryn, "Kathryn, will you cause him anger?"

"I may," she replied.

"Is that your intent?" Marinkté asked her.

"No," Kathryn replied.

"Will you take the heat of anger and use it to temper the strength of this union?" Marinkté asked them.

"We will," they responded.

As Marinkté intoned the by now familiar phrase, "And so the binding is made," Ken Dalby and Sue Jenkins placed the fifth blue chord in the couple's hands. As Sue gave Kathryn a kiss on the cheek Ken feigned punching Chakotay on the chin then pulled the older man into a bear hug before returning to his place among the wedding guests.

The priestess shook her head at Ken's antics and then continued, "Kathryn, will you honor him?"

"I will," Kathryn replied.

"Chakotay, will you honor her?" The priestess asked him the matching question.

"I will," he replied.

"Will you seek to never give cause to break that honor?" she asked them both.

"We shall never do so," they promised.

As Marinkté said the traditional words again, "And so the binding is made," Pakrité and Terpe placed the sixth purple chord in the couple's hands, they tarried longer then the other couples as Pakrité braided together the red, black and blue cords that represented pain, burdens and anger and Terpe plaited together the yellow, white and purple cords that represented laughter, dreams and honor. Then Terpe placed his hands on Chakotay's shoulder and squeezed lightly in the Tépean version of a hug and Pakrité did the same to Kathryn.

The priestess asked, "Chakotay, will you love her forever and always?"

"I will," Chakotay responded eagerly.

"Kathryn will you love him forever and always," Marinkté asked.

Equally as eagerly Kathryn responded "I will".

"Will you love each other into eternity and after?" Marinkté asked them.

"We will," they responded together.

For the final time Marinkté intoned, "And so the binding is made," as Tom and B'Elanna placed the seventh and last chord, a vibrant green cord in Chakotay and Kathryn's hands. Tom placed a hand on Chakotay's shoulder and smiled at him then nodded and returned to his place with the other groomsmen, B'Elanna kissed them both and fought against the very un-Klingon like tears that wanted to fall.

The priestess tied the chords together while saying, "The knots of this binding are not formed by these chords, but instead by your vows. Either of you may drop the chords, for as always, you hold in your own hands the making or breaking of this union". Once the chords were tied together they were removed by the priestess and placed on the altar.

"By Tépean traditions there is little more to be done to formalize this union but by Kathryn's tradition a few more things are necessary, so I shall perform a rather ancient Terran ceremony before the declaration," Marinkté explained to the guests.

"We are gathered together here in the sight of The Creator to join together this Man and this Woman in the manner in which the Creator intended.

If anyone here present can show just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, let that person speak now, or else forever remain silent," Marinkté looked purposely at Phoebe as if to dare her to say anything and finally Phoebe said, "What? I didn't say anything," again the meadow filled with the sound of laughter.

When the laughter died down Marinkté continued, "I require and charge you both, as ye will answer at the dreadful day of judgment when the secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed, that if either of you know any impediment, why ye may not be lawfully joined together in Matrimony, that ye confess it. For ye be well assured, that so many as be coupled together otherwise than The Creator's Word doth allow are not joined together by The Creator; neither is their Marriage lawful," after a short pause Marinkté continued.

The priestess then said to Chakotay, "Wilt thou have this Woman to be thy wedded wife, to live together after The Creator's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honor, and keep her, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?"

Chakotay responded, "I will".

Then Marinkté turned to Kathryn, "Wilt thou have this man to be thy wedded husband, to live together after The Creator's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love him, comfort him, honor, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?"

Kathryn replied, "I will".

Marinkté then asked, "Who giveth this Woman to be married to this Man?"

Gretchen answered, "I do".

Marinkté nodded then said, "Chakotay, take Kathryn's right hand in your right hand and repeat your vows to her".

Chakotay cleared his throat and looked into Kathryn's eyes. It seemed to the assembled guests that he was a tad nervous, but finally his voice sounded strongly as he recited the age old vows, "I, Chakotay, take thee Kathryn to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to The Creator's holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faithfulness."

Marinkté then said, "Kathryn, take Chakotay's right hand in your right hand and repeat your vows to him".

Kathryn smiled at Chakotay and said gently, "I, Kathryn, take thee Chakotay to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to The Creator's holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faithfulness."

Marinkté then asked for the rings and there followed a moment of panic as Tom pretended to have forgotten where he'd put Kathryn's ring. Once the "Tom foolery" was done the Priestess blessed the Rings saying. "Bless these Rings, O merciful Creator, that those who wear them, that give and receive them, may be ever faithful to one another, remain in your peace, and live and grow old together in your love, under their own vine and fig tree, and seeing their children's children. So be it".

The priestess took the smaller of the two rings and gave it to Chakotay, to put it on the fourth finger of Kathryn's left hand. As Chakotay held the ring at the tip of her finger the priestess prepared to coach Chakotay through the traditional words but Chakotay had memorized these words as well and so he said, "With this Ring I thee wed, and with my body I thee honor, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow," as he finished the vow he slipped the ring on Kathryn's finger.

Then Marinkté took the remaining ring and handed it to Kathryn to place on Chakotay's finger. She too had the vows memorized and so said, "With this Ring I thee wed, and with my body I thee honor, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow," as she said the last word she started to put the ring on Chakotay's finger but for some reason it didn't want to fit so he had to help her push it over the last knuckle.

Marinkté intoned the traditional warning, "Those whom The Creator hath joined together let no one put asunder."

Then she spoke to the people gathered there in the meadow. "Forasmuch as Chakotay and Kathryn have consented together in holy wedlock, and have witnessed the same before The Creator and this company, and thereto have given and pledged their faithfulness each to the other, and have declared the same by the giving and receiving of a Ring, and by the joining of hands; I pronounce therefore that they be Husband and Wife".

Having grown up in a matriarchal society the next bit of the ceremony seemed almost against the nature of things to her but Marinkté continued in the traditions of the bride's people and said, "Chakotay, you may kiss your bride".

Chakotay paused for a moment to remind himself that they had an audience and so he attempted to give Kathryn the most tender and chaste of kisses but being that she was his now, he couldn't resist deepening the kiss a little, until he heard a whistle from the guests. He broke the kiss and they both blushed a little.

Marinkté pushed gentle on their sides to get them to turn and face their guests and then said, "And now in keeping both with Terran and Tépean traditions I have the great good fortunate to present to all of you for the first time the lady and her consort, Kathryn and Chakotay Janeway".


	16. Chapter 16

June 20, 2378 late afternoon the ballroom of the mountain resort

Chakotay was growing impatient, first he and Kathryn had had to sign a document that, according to Marinkté, was their marriage license. Then whilst the wedding guest were swept away to the reception by Q Jr., the doctor had held the bridal party and the family at the ceremony site, for at least half an hour, while he took every possible combination of pictures. Finally, the Doctor had summoned Q Jr. to take the family and wedding party minus the groom and bride to the reception. The doctor then proceeded to take numerous pictures of Kathryn and Chakotay in various poses, until finally Chakotay's temper had flared a bit, and the doctor decided he could get the rest of the shots he wanted as candid shots at the reception. Now, there was the seemingly endless reception line. At this point, all Chakotay wanted to do was grab something to eat and sit down for a moment with his new bride.

"OK, that's the last of them I think," Kathryn said.

"Finally," Chakotay said just as the DJ announced that it was time for the newlywed couple's first dance. Chakotay ruefully shook his head and led Kathryn out onto the dance floor. He and Kathryn had both added shoes to their wedding outfits before getting into the receiving line, just so the dancing would seem more natural to them. They danced to a 20th century song, 'May I Have This Dance', and as Chakotay held Kathryn close to him, he forgot all the nervousness and the irritations of the day, as he lost himself in her blue grey eyes.

When the song ended Chakotay led Kathryn to the head table. They had no more than sat down, when Tom Paris stood up and tapped his spoon against a glass to get everyone's attention.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my happy duty as best man to lead a toast to the bride and groom, so as everyone finds a glass of champagne, I'm going to take this opportunity to say a few words. When Chakotay asked me to be his best man, he said he was sure that at the beginning of our voyage no one would ever have believed that one day he'd be asking me to stand up for him at his wedding," Tom paused as Voyager's crew laughed and the wedding guests from the Sentinel wondered what had changed over the years.

"But you know something Big Guy, I think even that first day when you beamed onto Voyager's bridge and Kathryn stopped you from coming after me, that you and she both knew, somewhere down deep inside, that you were meant for each other," Tom paused again as he saw the newlywed couple looking at each other with the same question in their eyes, 'Is he right, did you feel it then?'

"You'd be surprised how soon the betting pool on you two got started," Tom added with a laugh.

"And there were certainly times when we were running short on energy that I wondered, why B'Elanna couldn't figure out a way to harness the electricity that seemed to always be present when the two of you were in the same room," he stopped for another moment, and then began again with a wistful smile.

"The years in the Delta Quadrant have been filled with danger and sorrow, but also with joy and a sense of discovery of our own inner strengths. The crew of Voyager has grown a great deal in these last six and half years, and much of that is due to the two of you. Yet in those years, we've watched the two of you sacrifice your own happiness over and over again, for our sakes. I remember how glad we all were to have the two of you back from New Earth, until we began to realize that we had 'rescued' you from Paradise. I beg you now, never again give up your happiness for this crew, for I'm certain I speak for the entire crew when I say, if you are happy so are we," Tom then raised his champagne glass.

"To Kathryn and Chakotay, may they never know an end to their love and happiness," he said then turned to clink glasses with B'Elanna before draining his glass.

Maliya, Phoebe and Gretchen each took a turn toasting the couple and welcoming their new in-laws to their respective families, then Chakotay rose to address the wedding guests.

"Thank you for sharing with us in the great joy that this day brings us," Chakotay paused for a moment then shook his head and looked at Kathryn. "Maybe you should do this, you're better at this sort of thing," he said to her.

"No," she said as she grinned at him, "by tradition this is your job, and you know how this family feels about traditions".

"OK," he said with a sigh. "Well, let's see, as to the things my best man said. One, as to that first day on the bridge, I can't speak for Kathryn, but yes I felt something and to be honest, it scared the hell out of me. There we were 70,000 light years from home in damaged ships, missing the best engineer I've ever known, and suddenly, all I can think of, is this gorgeous redheaded spitfire of a Star Fleet captain," he paused and laughter filled the room for a moment.

"Second, who won that betting pool, by the way?" Chakotay asked Tom with a laugh.

"Third, about being rescued from Paradise," Chakotay paused for a moment and looked around until he spotted Harry Kim, "Have you ever wondered why Harry is still an ensign?" More laughter filled the room.

Chakotay turned to his in-laws and said, "Gretchen, Phoebe I hope, Kathryn feels as welcome to the Jaguar clan, as you have made me feel to the Janeway clan."

He paused again, then said in a serious voice, "It has taken Kathryn and me a long time to get to this day, but don't feel like you, the crew of Voyager, were somehow in the way. Family and friends are never really in the way. Everything happens in its own time and for its own reason. Now, before I ramble on anymore, I'd like to ask you to lift a glass in honor of my lovely bride," he said. As he raised his glass to his lips, he looked to see the eyes of his beloved brimming with tears.

Just then, the wait staff of the lodge began bringing in the dinner, and Chakotay heaved a sigh of relief, knowing he would finally get to have something to eat, and he'd also get to spend some time with Kathryn without some wedding or reception formality to contend with. He was feeling just a little guilty, because a part of him wanted the reception to be over so he could sneak away with Kathryn to their honeymoon cabin; but another part knew that as soon as the reception was over, his sister and niece and Kathryn's mother and sister would have to go home.

After dinner, a large wedding cake was wheeled out, and Kathryn and Chakotay were asked to cut the cake. There was then a bit of good natured speculation as to whether the bride and groom would be well behaved as they fed each other a piece of the cake. For his part Chakotay was a perfect gentleman, but Kathryn couldn't resist smearing frosting on her groom's face, which he then insisted she kiss off his face. To his embarrassment, she cheerfully and very thoroughly complied.

There was little left to do, but dance a few more dances, throw the bouquet and garter, which they did arrange to have Pakrité and Terpe catch, and then say tearful goodbyes to their families. The guests remained at the lodge and danced into the wee hours of the morning, but Kathryn and Chakotay were swept away to their honeymoon cabin by a simple snap of Q Jr.'s fingers at the end of a romantic dance.

June 20, 2378 2100 Kathryn and Chakotay's honeymoon cabin

"I wish he'd stop doing that," Kathryn said, as she and Chakotay suddenly materialized in their mountain cabin.

"Doing what?" Chakotay asked, just before he finally realized where he was.

"Transporting people places with the snap of his fingers, it's disorienting," Kathryn said with a slight laugh.

"Yes, it is, but as long as he leaves us alone from now on, I can't say I mind," Chakotay replied.

Suddenly a padd appeared in Chakotay's hand. It was already activated, and so he held it so that Kathryn could see it too. It said,

Aunt Kathy and Uncle Chak,

Don't worry, you are here to stay for as long as you choose and will have to use a regular transporter to get back to Voyager. Also I've put out the Q equivalent of a DO NOT DISTURB sign, even my Mom and Dad can't disturb you two for the next few days. Best Wishes, Congratulations and all that other stuff.

Love,

q

Suddenly Chakotay was extremely nervous. He and Kathryn were alone, and he knew what was expected of him, but he was apprehensive.

Kathryn could see the anxiety on her new husband's face and decided to give him a little space, hoping he'd calm down some.

"I'm going to go change my clothes," Kathryn said.

"Uh, yeah the bathroom is through there," Chakotay said, in a voice that sounded as uncertain as he looked.

'Spirits man, pull yourself together', Chakotay thought to himself. He decided he'd get out of his wedding clothes and into the black silk pajamas his 'sisters' has presented him with earlier in the day.

He was just debating whether to put the pajama top on when Kathryn emerged from the bathroom. She was a vision in a long off white silk nightgown and matching peignoir. His heart pounded in his ears and he forgot to breathe. He found himself moving towards her without really realizing what he was doing. He was drawn to her and she to him as surely as if they were magnets.

When he reached her he took her in his arms and kissed her, suddenly all the fears, all the trepidations about their first time together fled his consciousness. As his body responded to her nearness, all he could think about was the woman he loved, and how he would show her that love.

He began by kissing Kathryn's face and throat, and caressing her arms with his large, strong hands. His kisses and caresses were interspersed with his telling her, in each of his languages, that he loved her and that she was beautiful and that he wanted her. Eventually he pushed the peignoir away from her shoulders to expose more of her skin to his questing lips. He heard her sigh as he began to kiss his way down towards her breasts and he smiled to himself. This is what he wanted to hear - her sighs, her moans and hopeful her screams of pleasure, and he would do whatever it took to make it happen.

He licked at the lace just above her left breast and wondered if she would enjoy the sensation of his sucking on her nipple through the silk. He placed his lips on the material over her breast and then glanced up at her to see her reaction. Her head was thrown back and she suddenly reached up to tangle her fingers in the hair at the back of his head to keep him at her breast. He moved his hands back up to her shoulders, and this time pulled the thin straps of her nightgown down her arms. Soon she stood in front of him with her trousseau pooled at her feet.

After he drank in the sight of her nude body for a few moments, Chakotay started to lead her towards the bed, but she resisted slightly and smiled impishly at him. She walked her fingers down his chest and over his abs, and then, while looking into his eyes, she loosened the drawstring to his pajama bottoms, and the silk garment fell from his body to lie on the floor next to her nightgown and robe. She looked down, almost shyly, to gaze at him. She caressed his left buttock with her right hand, and then she moved past him towards the bed, and held out her hand to him in invitation.

She sat on the edge of the bed, then scooted into the middle of it and lay down, reaching out towards Chakotay. He knelt on the bed with one knee, and then began to draw himself towards her, laying his larger, darker body next to hers, allowing their bodies to touch all along their torsos, and twining his right leg over her left.

Chakotay again kissed Kathryn, almost drowning in the joy of possessing her mouth. He again began kissing a path down her body as his hands stroked her sides. He stopped to knead and suckle her nipples, and then continued his journey down her body. Kathryn jerked a bit when he stuck his tongue in her navel and swirled it around.

Chakotay found himself nearing her auburn curls and the treasure that resided there. He had never been a man who enjoyed performing oral sex on a woman, and only did it because he felt obliged to 'return the favor'; but at this moment, he was relishing the idea of tasting Kathryn, of making her come with just his mouth and his fingers. He teased open her outer lips with his tongue and his fingertips, being ever so gentle. Then he began laving her clitoris and teasing his fingers past her opening.

Kathryn began squirming and whimpering. At one point, she put her left hand around the back of his neck, as if to force him to stay where he was, but at the same time she wailed his name and said she couldn't take any more. He almost laughed at the contradiction, but instead, he reached back with his right hand and brought her left hand away from his head and down to her side. Chakotay suddenly had an inspiration, and he threaded his fingers through hers, so their hands were clasped as they had been on New Earth, after he had told her the Angry Warrior Legend.

As she sighed, "Oh Chakotay," he decided it was time for him to check and see if she was ready for him, because he wasn't sure how much longer his aching cock could wait. He plunged the middle finger of his left hand inside her, and she bucked against his mouth, so he sucked on her clit.

'Spirits, she's so hot and wet,' he thought, and when he pushed his index finger in to join his middle finger, he added to his thought 'and tight'. Chakotay knew that although he wasn't endowed like a star of a holographic skin flick, he was above average, as far as the size of his cock was concerned. He wanted to be sure she was ready for him, so he wouldn't hurt her, so he continued his ministrations to her clit as he slowly finger fucked her. Suddenly her whole body seemed to stiffen and he felt her walls grip his fingers. She let out a scream and then seemed to become boneless.

He glanced up at her and could see the flush and the goose flesh on her breasts. She was almost whispering his name, and he saw tears falling from her eyes. He couldn't stand to see her cry, even if it were tears of joy and great emotional release, so he gently pulled himself back up her body to begin kissing away her tears. When he kissed her, she could taste herself on him.

He positioned himself with his knees between her legs then leaned forward and took a good deal of his weight onto his left hand, his right hand still being entwined with her left. He didn't want to let go of her hand but he had to, for at least a moment, as he positioned the head of his cock at her opening.

He looked into her eyes, as though he were seeking one last confirmation from her that this was what she wanted. Sensing his unspoken request Kathryn reached for his hand again, and said "Please, Chakotay I want you inside me," and with that he began to push his long, thick cock inside her.

He didn't bury himself to the hilt all at once, as the primal male inside of him wanted to, but instead he took it slowly and gently, pushing in a few inches and then pulling almost all the way out before pushing in again a bit deeper. He was more than willing to give her time to adjust to him. He wanted this first time together to be wonderful and he knew that rushing things and hurting her would ruin it. When he was finally fully inside her, he shuddered and called out her name. He had never in his life felt as he did at this moment. This wasn't just sex, this was completion. He was finally whole; and strangely enough, he had never realized before just how incomplete he had been.

Chakotay had wondered, if he would come in only a few strokes like an overeager teenage boy, or if he'd find it hard to come inside her at all after all these years of 'self-love', but he soon found a pounding rhythm that suited them both. It amazed him that when he would change the angle or speed of his stroke to something he found exquisite, Kathryn would enthusiastically respond with a "yes" or "Oh Chakotay." As he pounded into her furiously, the sweat glistened on his bronze body. Kathryn's last coherent thought, before her second orgasm of the evening tore through her, was that Chakotay looked like an exotic version of a Greek God.

Kathryn's second orgasm rocked Chakotay, as he felt her inner walls clenching around his cock. A few more erratic thrusts and Chakotay came with a roar. As his seed spurted inside Kathryn, he murmured her name and collapsed, halfway on top of her. After kissing her face, throat and shoulder and mumbling, "I love you," he fell asleep.

Although she had been thoroughly satisfied by her groom's lovemaking, she was a bit taken a back by his sudden lapse into unconsciousness. 'Oh well,' she thought, 'maybe its just a reaction to all the stress of the day," and with that thought, she snuggled into his larger frame and began to try to fall a sleep herself. Just as she started to realize that she wasn't sleepy enough to talk herself into falling asleep yet, Chakotay woke up. He couldn't have been asleep more than 15 or 20 minutes.

He yawned and then looked into Kathryn's twinkling eyes. "What?" he asked with a bit of a laugh.

"Nothing," Kathryn fibbed and averted her gaze from his.

He took her chin in one of his hands and turned her head, so she had to look into his eyes. "Uh huh, you can't fool me. You were going to say something and thought better of it. Now come on, tell me. What was it?" Chakotay asked with a dimpled grin.

"Do you always take a catnap afterwards?" she asked with a crooked grin.

Chakotay felt his face heat with a rare blush, then answered, "Not to the best of my recollection."

Kathryn laughed and kissed his face, "Oh, as though it's been so long you can't remember".

He ducked his head a little and then ran his hand up and down her flank as he tried to think of an excuse for his sudden lapse. "Longer than you probably think," he replied a bit defensively, then addressed the real question. "I guess it was just the stress of the last few days coupled with the great relaxing release of finally making love to you."

"I know I thought of that already, that's why I wasn't going to say anything," Kathryn replied.

"You know the most amazing thing?" Chakotay asked her a few moments later.

"What?" she responded eagerly.

"Every time I found something that felt wonderful to me, you responded in a way that made it seem to me that you felt the same way," he stopped stroking her for a moment and looked into her eyes. "Isn't it amazing that the creator made us this way?"

There was a time when Janeway considered herself at the least an agnostic, if not an out and out atheist, but her time in the Delta Quadrant, and especially her time with Chakotay, had changed her, so that she was finally willing to entertain the idea that there was some creative power in the universe. At this moment, she was delighted to think that that creative power had made man and woman to please each other, and even more so that that creator had made her for Chakotay and him for her.

"Yes Chakotay, yes it is," she answered and kissed him passionately, urging him without words to make love to her again and so he did.

They spent much of the night exploring each other. Learning what it was that pleased the other, each memorizing the sounds their lover made that signaled his or her pleasure. In the early hours of the morning Chakotay fell asleep exhausted and completely sated, Kathryn smiled and snuggled into his side to let sleep claim her too.

June 21, 2378 midmorning Kathryn & Chakotay's honeymoon cabin

Kathryn woke and stretched languorously, then looked over at the handsome man who lay sleeping next to her. She almost couldn't believe it was true, that last night wasn't just a dream. She noticed that the sheet above Chakotay's pelvis was tented and realized that even though he seemed to be asleep at least a portion of him was up. She grinned as she peeled the sheet back and began stroking his cock to bring more life to his erection.

Chakotay began to wake to the feel of his wife's gentle ministration, but just as he became totally awake Kathryn straddled him and sunk down on his cock. As Kathryn began to ride up and down on him, it was all he could do not to beg her to stop what she was doing. She couldn't know how much he hated this position. He made the mistake of closing his eyes, and suddenly he could see that blonde bitch Nechayev riding him. His eyes snapped open to drink in the sight of his beautiful wife. He tried to push the negative feelings aside and concentrate on his feeling for his wife and her feelings for him. He told himself that the woman on top of him loved him, and wasn't using him and didn't want to dominate him. It worked; at least sufficiently that he stayed hard long enough for Kathryn to climax. He then reversed their positions and began pounding into her. He didn't mean to be, but he was pretty rough with her, as though he were taking out the anger he felt towards Alynna Nechayev on Kathryn.

As Chakotay lay over her panting, trying to get his control back, Kathryn wondered what was going on. She realized at some point that Chakotay was not enjoying himself with her on top, and that he was angry about something. She wanted to know what it was that hurt him and made him angry, but she was afraid to hurt him more by making him reveal the source of his pain.

"What's wrong, darling?" she asked him gently as she kissed his face.

"I'm sorry," Chakotay said softly.

"Can you talk about it?" Kathryn asked him.

Chakotay thought about that for a moment, Kathryn was his wife now and he shouldn't have secrets from her.

"Yeah, I think maybe I should talk about it with you, maybe it will help me get over the negative feelings I have, so this isn't ever a problem again," Chakotay said.

He pulled Kathryn to his side and kissed her hair. He didn't think he could tell this story if he had to look at her, so he tried to encourage her to cuddle her face into his shoulder. Kathryn understood Chakotay's need immediately and lay quietly at his side with her face buried in his shoulder.

"After I'd been on the Griffin for a couple of years, Star Fleet sent out an officer to investigate the conditions aboard the ships at the front. Some people thought it was a precursor to court-martialing Captain Severson. Anyway the investigating officer wanted to talk to the new Lieutenant Junior Grade who was in charge of the fighter pilots, me. As soon as the commodore laid eyes on me, it became apparent to everyone that she wanted a lot more from me than talk. The other pilots razzed me about it, but they didn't realize how uncomfortable I was about the situation. I did my best to ignore her advances, but she became more and more blatant. Finally, she told me she would get me off the Griffin, if I 'cooperated' with her," Chakotay stopped for a moment obviously remembering the incident.

"I told her flat out, I wouldn't trade sexual favors for a transfer off the Griffin," he continued his story.

"Good for you, it must have been difficult for a young lieutenant to stand up to a Commodore," Kathryn said hoping to bolster Chakotay's obviously flagging spirits.

"It didn't do me any good," he stated dejectedly.

"Why not?" Kathryn asked before she could stop herself.

"She told me she always got what she wanted somehow, and that she'd make me regret making her work so hard for it," Chakotay said by way of answering Kathryn.

"The next day I was transferred to her command. I guess she traded favors with Severson, she didn't tell Star Fleet the whole truth about what he was up to on the Griffin, and in exchange she got me," Chakotay grew silent for a moment. Kathryn realized he was probably steeling himself for the worst of the story.

"When my records were transferred to her, my medical file came along too. She overrode the encryption and found out about my true age. She told me I either had sex with her or she'd make sure the truth was revealed, and I'd be out of the service so fast my head would spin. The next few weeks I was virtually her sex slave. Her favorite thing was to be on top, riding me, in total control," Chakotay said his voice becoming a harsh whisper on the last phrase.

"We went from ship to ship continuing the investigation that Star Fleet wanted, and I had to behave as though I wasn't being regularly forced to have sex with a woman twice my age during my off duty hours. Finally, we came to the Gettysburg and I realized I'd possibly found a way out of Nechayev's clutches. The Gettysburg was short a tactical officer, so I practically begged Captain Gordon to take me aboard as her new tactical officer and she did," Chakotay explained.

"Did you ever tell anyone about Nechayev's conduct?" Kathryn asked, as she propped herself up on an elbow so she could look at her husband.

"No, I couldn't, not without exposing my own secret," he replied, as he turned and propped himself on his elbow, so they were facing each other in bed.

"But what about after the truth came out? You could have come forward then," Kathryn pressed.

"It had been 5 years by then, and Nechayev had been promoted to admiral. I figured it was in my best interest not to be involved in any sort of scandal," Chakotay replied.

They were both quiet for a moment then Chakotay continued, "Truth is, I was ashamed of what happened and I didn't want to talk about it to anyone," he admitted.

Quiet enveloped them for a few moments, both lost in thoughts.

"But I've always wondered how many other young men she assaulted because I didn't report her conduct," his voice was tinged with anguish.

"Oh Chakotay," Kathryn tried to soothe her lover's anguish by reaching out and holding him close to her.

"If Nechayev did assault other young men that was her crime, and you had nothing to do with it," Kathryn said, as she relaxed her hold on him so she could look at his face.

"Oh no? If I had come forward and pressed charges against her, she would have probably been cashiered out of Star Fleet after she spent some time in a penal colony," Chakotay said in an almost challenging voice.

"Chakotay you were a very young man and you'd been victimized, you shouldn't take on any guilt over this," Kathryn countered.

Chakotay suddenly realized something he hadn't thought about before, he now had a life partner and she was almost always going to be in his corner.

"This is a part of what being married is about, isn't it?" he asked almost rhetorically.

"What do you mean?" she asked a bit bewildered.

"I not only have a best friend and the most amazing lover in the galaxy, but I have a life partner who will always be on my side, always ready, willing and able to defend me even when I maybe don't deserve it," Chakotay explained.

"Yes you do and so do I," she said passionately. "And I will defend you, even to yourself, remember that," she said and then kissed him passionately. He responded, kissing her and then drawing her to him by putting a leg over hers and pulling their lower bodies together. Soon they were making love yet again. As they were basking in the afterglow, Chakotay's stomach rumbled and Kathryn couldn't contain her laughter.

"I guess I better feed you," she said.

"Uh, no I think I'd better feed myself and I'll make something for you too," he replied.

"Are you casting aspersions on my cooking abilities?" she asked with a crooked grin.

"What cooking abilities?" Chakotay teasingly responded, a moment before a pillow flew through the air in his general direction.

Chakotay found his pajama bottoms where they'd left them and pulled them on before he made his way to the cabin's kitchen to prepare their breakfast. He started fresh coffee brewing and while he made omelets, Kathryn sliced some fresh fruit for them. They talked and laughed over breakfast and made plans to take a hike in the mountains, but they didn't get around to it until the next day.

In fact, that first week after the wedding they rarely left the cabin or spoke to anyone. They did checked in with B'Elanna to find out how the modifications to Chakotay's old quarters were coming along. When they returned to Voyager he'd move his things into her quarters and then Tom and B'Elanna and Miral would move in next door. They also talked to Ken Dalby and Sue Jenkins a few times about their wedding ceremony, but mostly they just reveled in being alone together.

June 27, 2378 0900 Kathryn/Chakotay's honeymoon cabin

"But I don't want to go back," Kathryn sounded almost like a petulant child.

"Sweetheart we have to, you have to perform Ken and Sue's wedding ceremony, remember?" Chakotay asked her, trying to cajole her into a more accepting mood.

"But…" she started to protest until Chakotay took her in his arms.

"I know, I don't want our honeymoon to be over either, but look at it this way, the honeymoon's not really over, just interrupted for a change in venue," he said and then kissed her to try to cheer her up.

"Promise?" she asked.

"I promise, as soon as Ken and Sue's reception is over, we'll retire to OUR quarters and resume the honeymoon, OK?" he asked.

"OK, but couldn't we resume the honeymoon in the turbolift on the way to our quarters?" she said and aimed a seductive grin at him.

"Ah reason 47," Chakotay said cryptically.

"What?" Kathryn asked confused.

"Reasons I love you. Reason 47 - you can be clever and sexy at the same time," he answered with a laugh and followed it up with a quick kiss.

"Come on let's get back to Voyager," he suggested as he picked up their bags.

"Right, where's Q Jr. when you need him," she said in jest, and then tapped her commbadge to initiate a commlink with the ship.

"Voyager, two to beam up," she said and moments later, they and their luggage disappeared in sparkles to reappear in the transporter room of Voyager. They greeted the crewmember on duty and headed for the turbolift and deck three.

As they entered what had been Kathryn's quarters and were now their quarters, they were both a bit taken aback at the changes they saw. Someone – probably B'Elanna, had moved Chakotay's things into the quarters and had brought their wedding presents too. Whoever had brought Chakotay's things over had done a good job of blending their possessions; somehow it looked as though the decorations belonged together as much as the man and woman did.

They wandered into the bedroom, and on a hunch Kathryn opened the closet to reveal that Chakotay's uniforms and off duty clothes had been put into her closet too. She looked down on the floor of the closet, and on top of Chakotay's shoes was a bundle with a folded note attached that had Chakotay's name on the outside. She handed the bundle and note to Chakotay, and as he read it, he laughed so hard he had to sit down on the bed.

"What's so funny," she asked.

"Here, read it for yourself," he answered as he offered her the note.

C,

I draw the line at going through another woman's underwear drawers, so you'll have to find space for your boxers, T-shirts, sox and whatever that other thing is for yourself.

B

"That other thing?" Kathryn asked after she stopped laughing.

"Uh, let me think," Chakotay said as he rubbed his ear.

"She must be talking about my jock strap," he surmised.

"I'll empty a drawer for you," Kathryn said as she shook her head.

As she turned to start working on that project, he grabbed her from behind and pulled her back toward the bed saying, "There'll be time for that later. I think it's high time we properly broke in this bed of yours," he said as he started to pull her blouse from her skirt.

"No, it's not time for that," she said and gently eased out of his grasp. "We've got a wedding ceremony to be at in a little over an hour, and besides needing to change, I've got to look at the information Ken and Sue sent about what they want in the ceremony. If we get started on breaking in that bed properly, we'll never make it to the wedding on time," she said and smiled seductively at him.

"Oh alright, you go look at what Ken and Sue want, and I'll take care of unpacking our bags and finding space in the drawers for my stuff," he paused for a moment, "that is if I have your permission to go through your drawers?" he asked.

"Sure go ahead," Kathryn said as she headed towards her monitor to call up the message from Ken and Sue.

A few moments later Chakotay called out, "I've rearranged the drawers a little, just took the one on the top right for mine," then he came into the living area carrying a phallus shaped vibrator, "Uh what would you like me to do with this?" he asked.

Kathryn blushed scarlet and said, "Oh my God, I forgot that was in there. Guess it's a good thing B'Elanna didn't go through my draws," she said as she got up and came towards him, reaching out for the vibrator.

"I'll just recycle this," Kathryn said as she took the vibrator from his hand.

"I don't know, it might come in handy when I'm off the ship on a long away mission," Chakotay said with a teasing tone.

"I think I can wait for the real thing," she laughed, and tossed the vibrator into the recycler. She then turned, wrapped her arms around Chakotay's neck and pulled him into a tender kiss.

"You know, I still think we have time to break in some piece of furniture in these quarters before Ken and Sue's wedding. How about the couch?" Chakotay suggested as he ran his hands over Kathryn's back and sides, then cupped her butt with one hand and tangled the fingers of his other hand in her hair.

"No, but since we do have a little time before their wedding, I think maybe we should finally open our wedding gifts," she countered.

"OK, but I do get a rain check on breaking in the couch," he asked with a grin.

"Oh definitely, you can sleep on it the first time I get really mad at you," she teased.

"Actually, I plan for us to eventually christen all the furniture properly," she promised and watched his dimples reappear.

"All right, lets see what the crew got us," Chakotay said as he drew her down to the couch in front of the coffee table which had a variety of packages and envelopes on it.

"Everyone gave up a half hour of holodeck time so we could spend three days this week on the holodeck," Kathryn said as she read the gift certificate inside the first envelope.

Chakotay laughed a bit as he read the certificate he held, and when Kathryn turned a quizzical look at him he read, "Save this certificate as it is good for one evening's babysitting from each member of the crew." Chakotay added, "Our crew's really thinking ahead".

"Put that someplace safe, if we use it correctly we can spread that over several years," Kathryn said.

"Yes, but do you really want Mortimer Harren to baby sit our child?" Chakotay asked.

"Well, I have a few years to mull that one over," she laughed.

"OK, here you open that one while I open this one," Chakotay said as he pulled two boxes that were wrapped in the same white wedding paper and topped with matching bows closer to them.

"A grinder for beans," Kathryn said excitedly. "Hurry and open that one maybe it's coffee beans," she said.

"No, it's a coffee maker," Chakotay said as he pulled a third package. "Maybe this is the coffee beans," he speculated.

"Give me that," she ordered.

Chakotay leaned back and put his hands up, "Yes ma'am, I know better than to get between you and your coffee."

"Yes!" Kathryn exclaimed as she lifted several bags of roasted coffee beans and hugged them to her.

"This crew is brilliant," Chakotay said with a grin as he unwrapped a stasis unit. "Here put the beans in this so they stay fresh."

"Shall we open this last one together," Chakotay said as he pulled the largest box towards them.

"Yes," Kathryn answered as she pulled at the ribbon.

When they got the box unwrapped, Chakotay lifted the lid and Kathryn reached inside and pushed aside the tissue paper that was wrapped around a handmade queen-sized quilt.

"Oh Chakotay, look at it. It's beautiful," she said so softly as to almost be whispering.

"Let's unfold it more so we can see the pattern better," he suggested.

Each of them took a part of the quilt and began unfolding it to reveal a midnight blue background scattered with stars and over that a peach colored peace rose.

"Look, the stars are constellations as seen from earth." Kathryn said.

"No, the ones on that side are, the ones over on this side are constellations seen over Trebus, and look at the back of the quilt. They've all signed it," Chakotay noted.

"Let's go put it on the bed," she said excitedly.

"Uh, OK but lets take the blanket off first or we'll be too hot to sleep," he proposed.

Kathryn smiled to herself, realizing he'd said 'we'll' when he meant 'I'll'. She'd learned over the past week that her husband was a human furnace.

"Would that be such a bad thing?" she said with a wicked grin.

"Kathryn, don't start something we don't have time to finish," Chakotay warned with a wicked smile.

They resisted the temptation to fall into Kathryn's bed, changed into their dress uniforms and headed out the door arm in arm to what was to be one of many weddings to take place in the next few months.


	17. Chapter 17

June 20, 2379 early morning Kathryn & Chakotay's Quarters

Chakotay woke and stretched like a big cat. He looked next to him at the beautiful sleeping form that was his wife. It was rare for him to be the first to wake, but he wasn't going to complain, he loved to just lie next to Kathryn and watch her sleep.

He wondered what time it was, probably about the time their alarm usually went off. They'd decided to not set it last night and let themselves sleep in, as they had arranged to have the day off, so they could celebrate their anniversary, but force of habit had caused him to wake up anyway. Well, he'd find out soon enough what time it was, when Kathryn's grandfather clock chimed. He'd repaired the clock about two weeks after he'd moved into Kathryn's quarters; it had bothered him to have a non-functional chronometer in the quarters. At first Kathryn was delighted that he'd figured out how to repair it, and he'd taken all the credit for it, though in truth B'Elanna had helped him a great deal; but then the chiming kept her awake at night. Chakotay had had to work hard to convince her that she'd get use to it in a while and sleep right through it, and of course he was right about it.

Maybe it was thinking back to fixing the clock, but suddenly Chakotay found himself wandering down memory lane about his and Kathryn's first year of marriage. It had been a good year, not just for them, but for Voyager as well.

For the first time since being thrown into the Delta Quadrant, they had had a sustained period of, not only knowing what lay ahead of them, but also having the company of another ship. The Confederation had assigned a vessel to escort them through their territory, and for the first three months that responsibility had been granted to the Sentinel.

Having the Sentinel just a few thousand kilometers away, meant that he and Kathryn got to spend time with Terpe and Pakrité, and others of their crew had struck up friendships as well. There'd been no hostilities; well, aside from a few snide remarks from a few admirals in Star Fleet about his and Kathryn's marriage, and no shortages. The only troubles they'd encountered were a few plasma storms. He'd actually begun to worry that the crew was getting a bit soft.

As Chakotay thought back to the first month or so of his and Kathryn's marriage, he remembered with embarrassment a trip to the sickbay. He'd been a bit impatient to make love to her one day after their duty shift, and so had taken her up against the bulkhead just inside their quarters, but as things progressed, he had a change of heart and decided he wanted to take things to the bedroom after all. Unfortunately, his back wasn't quite up to what his libido had in mind and he both heard something pop and felt something tear.

The doctor was his typical clucking self and told Chakotay in no uncertain terms that he was getting out of shape, he'd put on a couple of kilos and his muscle tone wasn't what it should be. The EMH was a bit amazed, as the commander was always one of the fittest members of the crew. He grilled Chakotay about what he was doing differently of late, and it was then Chakotay realized that he'd created his own troubles. Before he married Kathryn, he had an extremely active social/athletic life. He played hoverball or velocity every morning and every evening with a different member of the crew, on their holodeck time. It meant he got a good workout twice a day without depleting his holodeck time and he got to touch base with all of the crew at least once about every 10 weeks. He also played a lot of parisi squares before marrying Kathryn, and he boxed whenever he got frustrated with her; but after their marriage, he became somewhat jealous of his off duty time, wanting to spend every moment of it that he could with her. So his only physical activity of late was lovemaking, and while it was usually pretty aerobic, it didn't appear to be quite enough to offset his normal 2 or 3 hours of exercise a day, especially when he continued to eat as he always had.

Chakotay resolved to get back in shape again. He began by setting up co-ed matches of hoverball, velocity and parisi squares with Kathryn as his partner or teammate. He knew he couldn't get her to go at things with the same intense pace he was used to, so he devised an exercise regime for himself in addition to all the matches. He'd get up a little earlier in the morning than he usually did, still after Kathryn usually got up, and he would jog the decks and climb from deck to deck in the Jeffries tubes.

Chakotay smiled when he thought about one particular morning run, he'd gone down to deck fifteen and was making his way up through the ship deck by deck, around each deck then up the Jeffries tube to the next deck. He was almost done, and as was his habit, he'd skipped over his own deck, deck three, and was just coming out on to deck two, which he intended to circle before climbing home to deck three, when he heard the swoosh of someone's door opening.

Chakotay leaned out the Jeffries tube, but didn't come out on the deck. From his vantage point, he saw Neelix kissing Kikki Merouw, the Sentinel's chief medical officer. The kiss was not a simple peck on the cheek, but a deep passionate kiss such as lover's exchange. Given the early hour, it didn't take a genius to realize that she'd probably spent the night with Neelix. Chakotay could her them whispering words of love to one another. He felt an odd mixture of emotions. He was glad Neelix had found someone to care for but was embarrassed to be spying on the couple. He was also concerned for how his friend would feel when Voyager and Sentinel parted company.

That had happened about a week before Chakotay and Kathryn's first major fight. It was a strange fight really, considering what had provoked it and how it unfolded. Kathryn had taken an all female away team with her to visit a member world of the Confederation that was even more matriarchal than Tépekan. Chakotay was finding her absence very difficult to cope with whenever he wasn't on duty. He found himself easily distracted and unable to eat or sleep well. He'd replicate something to eat, take a few bites and then put the dish down somewhere and wander off to pick up a book or a carving project, never getting back to the food.

Chakotay lived for Kathryn's subspace communications, but when she called all he could think to talk about were Voyager and Kathryn's away mission. He always told her he missed her and couldn't wait for her to be home, but the words couldn't really express how lonely he felt without her. The nights were the worst. He couldn't sleep without her next to him. He found that a bit ironic; when they'd first married he'd wondered if he'd ever get use to sharing a bed with her. They were poorly matched, in that he was a light sleeper and she was a restless one. Her tossing and turning would wake him up, and after about the third time he was woken in a night, his brain would just give up on trying to sleep, as though it just couldn't trust that he would actually be allowed to sleep. But eventually he got used to her restless ways, just as she got accustomed to the chiming of the clock, and there he was unable to sleep because she was on an away mission and therefore wasn't next to him.

Finally the day came when Kathryn would be coming home. Chakotay looked around their quarters and shock his head at what he saw. The place was a mess! He hadn't made the bed or put any dishes in the recycler since she'd been gone, and his dirty clothes were strewn everywhere. His carving projects and the shavings were on the dining room table and there were books and pads everywhere. He needed to clean the place up, but first he was going to make a little oasis for his Kathryn. He replicated scented candles and bath salts and placed them in the bathroom along with her big plush terry bathrobe.

Just as he was about to start on the clean up project Chakotay got a call from Tom, he and Harry and Ken needed one more man for their Parisi Square team or they'd have to forfeit their match. Chakotay hesitated but he knew Kathryn wasn't due back for about four hours and the Parisi Square match couldn't last that long. Well, it didn't, but he'd underestimated how anxious the women on the away team had been to see their men. Just as the match finished, with his team victorious of course, Tuvok called to say the Delta Flyer had docked. Chakotay was furious that the Vulcan hadn't thought to contact him earlier to let him know the change in the timing of the rendezvous.

Chakotay ran through the corridors with his Parisi Square mallet in hand, trying to get to their quarters before Kathryn and get the place cleaned up, but she had beaten him there by just a few moments and stood there stunned at the mess she found. When Chakotay arrived a few moments later, all sweaty from his athletic endeavors, she exploded at him. He tried to apologize and started to clean up the mess but she ordered him out of their quarters.

A dazed Chakotay went next door to Tom and B'Elanna's and poured his heart out to them, oblivious to the fact that they too were anticipating a reunion. He offered them the explanation Kathryn wouldn't listen to, about how hard he'd found their first separation and how he'd meant to clean everything up, but that first he'd spent time preparing a surprise for her, and then he'd joined Tom and Harry and Ken in the holodeck, not knowing the women would come home early.

In the meantime, Kathryn cleaned up their quarters alternating between anger and sorrow. She had taken the condition of their quarters as a sign that Chakotay had been enjoying a brief return to his bachelorhood and hadn't really missed her at all, while she on the other hand had missed him fiercely. At one point, she was about to fling his latest carving project and tools in the recycler, but she just couldn't, as she remembered that nearly every project was meant for some member of the crew.

After listening to her "brother" practically blubber about Kathryn being so angry at him that she'd thrown him out, B'Elanna decided the only thing that was going to get Chakotay out of her quarters, so she could get a proper welcome home from her husband and child, was her going over and talking to Kathryn. She related everything Chakotay had said, and asked Kathryn if she'd found Chakotay's surprise. Kathryn hadn't. She'd been so busy picking up the main living area and the bedroom that she hadn't made it to the bathroom yet. When she saw what Chakotay had prepared for her, her heart melted. She asked B'Elanna to go and tell Chakotay to come home.

Chakotay sighed as he remembered the great "make-up sex". He was almost tempted to pick fights after that.

A few weeks after their first big fight they got some mixed news, the Sentinel had received news that they were to be replaced as their escort ship, but before that Terpe was to be granted his long desired transfer to a science vessel. A transport ship would bring a new commanding officer for the Sentinel and then take Terpe to his new command; a few weeks after that a new vessel would arrive to relieve the Sentinel and its crew would be granted leave to their home worlds.

As Chakotay and Kathryn dined one night with Terpe and Pakrité, they helped their friends see that this change in plans actually meant that they had a chance to be together. Pakrité could resign her commission and apply for a position on the civilian science team that would be assigned to the science vessel. Of course there was the chance the civilian team might not accept her application but it was a chance they were willing to take. As soon as Pakrite's resignation was official, the couple was married in Voyager's holodeck.

At the wedding reception Chakotay noticed that Neelix seemed pensive, he decided to mention what he knew about Neelix and Kikki to Kathryn.

"Neelix doesn't look like he's enjoying himself very much," Chakotay observed.

"He does seem rather withdrawn," Kathryn replied.

"I wonder if something has gone wrong between him and Dr. Merouw?" Chakotay speculated.

"Is he involved with her? Since when?" Kathryn asked rather sharply.

"Well, yes I'm pretty sure they are involved. I mean one morning when I was out jogging I saw them come out of Neelix's quarters, he kissed her rather passionately and she said she loved him," Chakotay replied.

"When was that?" Kathryn demanded to know.

"A few days before you went to Hualtia," Chakotay responded, wondering what Kathryn was on about.

"Why? What do you know that you're not telling me?" he asked with curiousity.

Kathryn pulled Chakotay aside to a quieter more secluded spot. "Kikki is pregnant with twins," she told Chakotay.

"How do you know that?" he asked a bit incredulous.

"I overheard the doctor telling her when I went down for one of my routine exams," Kathryn said the latter with disdain, as she disliked having to check in so frequently with the doctor, but knew it was necessary if she and Chakotay were to one day have a healthy child.

"Does Neelix know?" Chakotay asked thinking that if the Talaxian knew he wasn't as excited about the prospect of fatherhood as Chakotay was.

"I don't think so, the doctor started to say something about congratulating the father to be and before he could say anything more, Kikki said no, she wasn't going to tell him because she couldn't see anyway for the two of them to raise the "kittens," as she called the babies, together," Kathryn answered.

Before Chakotay could voice his feelings about how unfair Kikki was being, Kathryn interrupted his thoughts, "Chakotay do you think we could make room on this ship for one more doctor and a couple of Talaxian-Meoan 'kittens'?"

Chakotay smiled broadly, "Yes, my love, I think we could. Come on let's talk to the doctor and then we can talk to Neelix and Kikki."

With very little persuasion, they convinced the EMH that Kikki would make a good addition to 'his' staff and Chakotay began plotting how he could shift some of his counseling duties to her. Chakotay went off to corral Neelix, while Kathryn got Kikki. They'd agreed to bring the couple to their quarters and then offer Kikki the opportunity to join Voyager's crew.

Neelix fidgeted nervously in the quarters of the captain and first officer, as he and Chakotay waited for the captain. He wondered if he was in trouble for having a relationship with Kikki. He knew Harry Kim had gotten in trouble for something similar, but Harry was Star Fleet and Neelix wasn't. And besides he thought, 'I don't care what anyone says, loving Kikki can't be wrong, I just wish I could figure out a way for her to stay here with me on Voyager.'

When Kathryn entered with Kikki, Neelix quickly stood and began defending his relationship with the woman he loved, "Captain, I don't know why you've brought Kikki here, but I can assure you she's done nothing to harm Voyager and-"

"Wait, wait Neelix calm down. We're not here to accuse you or Kikki of any wrong doing," Chakotay reassured his excitable friend.

"No, no Neelix on the contrary, we've asked you here to, well be a support, to Kikki as she thinks about an offer we'd like to extend," Kathryn said, then looked at Chakotay, willing him to take it from there.

"Yes, Neelix, you know there've been times when Voyager has very much needed a flesh and blood doctor, and we certainly could use a ship's counselor as well. We were hoping Kikki might be willing to take on those roles," Chakotay explained as he looked at the Meoan doctor.

Kikki couldn't believe what she was hearing. They were offering her a chance to stay with Neelix. To raise her kittens with the man she loved. But would they want her if they knew she were pregnant? Could they take on not just her, but her babies as well, and what would Neelix think when he learned she was pregnant? Would he be angry that she hadn't told him? Would he even want to be a father?

Kathryn interpreted Kikki's silence as hesitation. and wondered if perhaps the thought of leaving her family and friends was too much for her.

"Of course we'd understand if you felt you couldn't leave your family or-"

"I don't have any family. They were all killed by marauders when I was a child." Kikki answered. "I'm sorry, you must be wondering why I'm hesitating. Believe me, I want to come with you, but I'm wondering if you'll want me to when I tell you-" she hesitated and looked at Neelix.

"Tell us what Kikki?" Neelix asked, wondering what was making his lover hesitate to take this wonderful opportunity.

"In just a few months, I won't be able to do the jobs you want me to do, at least for a while and then well, we'll be even more of a drain on resources than you planned," Kikki began awkwardly explaining.

"Kikki what are you talking about?" Neelix asked truly confused.

Kathryn felt really good about the other woman when she realized she was thinking about Voyager, of course she also knew that Kikki probably felt insecure about how Neelix would take the real news.

Kikki looked Neelix straight in the eye and said, "I'm pregnant. I'm going to have kittens, babies."

Neelix looked at her and tried to process what she was saying, "Are you saying, I mean am I-"

"Yes, Neelix you're going to be a father. Please believe me, I didn't realize we could conceive without assistance, its uncommon for my species to be able to easily interbreed with other humanoids," Kikki began falling back on medical facts as she waited for Neelix to process the information and become angry. She didn't have to wait long.

"And when were you going to tell me this, if the captain hadn't made this generous offer?" Neelix asked heatedly.

Kikki swallowed, and then held her head high as she answered him, "I wasn't going to tell you, because without the captain's generous offer there would have been no way you could have been a part of the kittens' lives without leaving Voyager, and I couldn't ask you to do that. I couldn't ask you to leave you're friends after you'd already left your home world so far behind" she said and waited for his reaction.

"You should have at least let me decide that for myself," Neelix said angrily.

"Hey, you two what does any of that matter now?' Chakotay interjected. "You don't have to make any sort of sacrifice here. We're offering you a way to have it all. Neelix can stay here on Voyager with his friends and you can join him. The two of you can raise your 'kittens' together."

As Chakotay's words sunk in, Neelix and Kikki fell into one another's arms.

"I think we can take that as a yes to our proposition," observed Kathryn.

As Chakotay thought back upon Neelix and Kikki joining their lives, he had to admit it had had a lot of positive outcomes. Kikki was a wonderful addition to sickbay. She help design a "fertility monitor" for the female members of the crew to help cut down on the need to report to sickbay for monitoring of various biochemical levels that would signal a return of fertility.

Kikki's counseling abilities were also a boon, Chakotay would never have survived counseling all the newlyweds on board, nor could he have dealt as effectively with the "lonely hearts" - the members of the crew who hadn't paired off. And the upheaval with Seven of Nine or as she was calling herself nowadays - Annika, would have probably sent him to an early grave without Kikki's calm voice of reason.

Annika had suddenly decided she wanted to explore her humanity and what she wanted most to explore were romantic situations. Chakotay couldn't decide what was more disruptive, her off duty attire, sort of early 21st century streetwalker outfits, or her dating 2 or 3 men in a single day. She'd caused a major rift between Harry Kim and the doctor that had taken all of Chakotay and Kikki's considerable skills to repair. Kathryn had commented that it was as though they had a hormone-crazed teenaged daughter on their hands. When either he or Kathryn wasn't talking about throttling her, they could almost see the humor in the situation.

Another benefit of Kikki and Neelix getting together was a vast improvement in Neelix's cooking. It turned out that during pregnancy, Meoan females became extremely sensitive to odors, most Talaxian spices made Kikki nauseous, so Neelix had to either completely abandoned or cut way down on spices in his dishes or make his wife sick, that, coupled with the dearth of leola root, meant that meals were becoming not only palatable, but in some cases down right tasty.

Chakotay found himself extremely busy trying to redesign quarters and create a nursery for all the babies that would soon be making an appearance on the ship and trying to rework duty rosters. After a rather tiring day he had gone home with one thought on his mind - Kathryn. Holding his wife in his arms and making sweet love to her would sooth all the stresses of the day, so it was of course a bit of a shock to his system when she said 'No'.

Kathryn then went on to explain she'd gotten official confirmation, her fertility had rebounded and now they couldn't have unprotected sex on certain days of her cycle, as that might result in a pregnancy before the levels of the mutagenic byproducts of the neutralized boosters had decreased to a safe level. So a harried Chakotay found himself reviewing a list of options on pre-booster contraceptives. They settled on using the fertility monitor to tell them when they needed to use a barrier and decided the oldest known contraceptive was probably the best. Of course, after the first time they used a condom, Chakotay had serious doubts and several complaints, but Kathryn could be very persuasive. She'd simply said "it's this or abstinence on my fertile days," and he'd complied, maybe not happily, but he'd complied.

As Chakotay lay in bed contemplating his wife's sleeping form, he thought about the birth of Neelix and Kikki's children a few months ago. The "kittens", as Kikki called them or cubs as the doctor referred to them, were adorable. The girl, whom they had named Alixia after Neelix's sister, looked like a miniature of her mother, in other words like a bipedal cougar. The boy, whom they had named Rarme, on the other hand, was a mix of his parents. He had his father's spots and mane over his mothers tawny fur. It made him look like a cross between a jaguar and a lion. Chakotay thought the boy might be rather ferocious looking when he grew up. At this stage though, both kittens were as cute as kittens should be. There was one major problem with the kittens at this young age. Meoan children developed physically rather more rapidly than most humanoids, and so the kittens were already getting about at a rapid crawl and showing signs of walking in the very near future, but they hadn't yet learned to sheath their claws at appropriate times. This wasn't a problem for Kikki as her dense fur protected her, but Neelix and the kittens' favorite Uncle, Chakotay, had an almost daily ritual of running a dermal regenerator over the scratches the kittens inflicted.

Chakotay sighed, he thought back about 6 weeks and remembered how excited Kathryn had been one evening. He could tell she'd been waiting to tell him something all day, but apparently it wasn't ship's business, so she'd waited until they were off duty. The doctor had told her that the level of mutagenic byproducts from the neutralization of the boosters had finally decreased to a level that Star Fleet medical considered safe for conception. In other words they could start trying to make a baby! He'd been overjoyed and they'd used the fertility monitor to their advantage, knowing when Kathryn was most likely to get pregnant and in Kathryn's words, "going at it like bunnies." Kathryn did get a bit curious about Chakotay's insistence on taking a hot bath before they had sex, using primarily the missionary position and abstaining on certain days, and a few other things he was doing that seemed odd to her. Then one day she found a pad with some research on it about increasing the odds of conceiving a girl. She had laughed at him and waved the pad in his face. He so wanted a little girl and she thought that was "cute". Spirits! He hated it when she said something he did or said was cute, or even worse when she said he looked cute. Didn't she know she was the only cute one in the family?

It was getting harder and harder for Chakotay to resist the temptation to wake Kathryn. He so wanted to make love to her. He was also a bit worried about her sleeping in lately. He thought she might be slightly depressed. He knew that when her period came about a week and a half ago she'd been tremendously disappointed, and now the fertility monitor wasn't giving them signals that she was ovulating again. He finally decided he couldn't resist temptation any longer and began placing soft, little kisses on Kathryn's face. She sighed and stretched a little. He stroked her face.

As she opened her eyes he said, "Hello sleepyhead, Happy Anniversary".

She smiled at him and put her arms up to loop around his neck and pull him down for a kiss. Soon the light kisses they were sharing gave way to more passionate kisses. He began to kiss her breasts, but when he began to suck on a nipple, she indicated to him in a non-verbal way that her breasts were tender, so he returned to simply kissing her breasts. He teased his fingers over her inner thighs and played a bit with her labia and clitoris. When Chakotay felt himself harden sufficiently, he positioned himself over Kathryn preparing to enter her. Suddenly she pushed at him almost franticly.

"Get off! Get off me! I'm going to be sick!" she wailed.

As he rolled off her, she bolted from the bed. Chakotay became at first very concerned and then delighted. He joined her in the bathroom, holding back her long hair as she vomited and supporting her as best he could. When it seemed the retching had stopped, he got her a damp washcloth so she could clean her face.

As she rinsed her mouth, he said with a grin, "This must be your first bout of morning sickness".

"No you lunkhead, it can't be, or don't you know anything about human biology? I had my period just a week and a half ago. I can't be pregnant yet and I certainly wouldn't be experiencing morning sickness this early if I were," she answered testily.

"Well then, if this isn't morning sickness, we better get you to sickbay, maybe you've picked up a bug of some sort," Chakotay replied, trying not to let the disappointment and hurt he felt at her stinging words creep into his voice.

"No, I don't want to spend our first anniversary in sickbay," she replied.

"And I don't want to spend it worrying about you. Don't argue with me; just humor me. We'll head down to sickbay after breakfast and the doctor can check you out, " Chakotay countered.

"Oh alright, but we may as well go as soon as we can get dressed because the way my stomach feels there's no way I'm going to be able to eat breakfast," Kathryn relented.

The command couple made their way to sickbay amongst a flurry of "Happy Anniversary" wishes from the crew, but despite the crew's good humor, Kathryn was in a particularly bad mood by the time they arrived in sickbay. In fact, she balked at going in, but Chakotay wouldn't hear of it, so at last they stood before the EMH.

"Well Happy Anniversary, what can I do for you two today?" The EMH asked in a cheery voice.

"Explain why I threw up this morning and then give me something for the nausea," Kathryn said rather irritably.

"Hmm, let's see," the doctor said as he passed a medical diagnostic tool over the Captain and looked at the readouts on the medical tricorder.

"Well, I'm surprised you didn't guess this yourselves, considering how much you've wanted this. You're pregnant!" the doctor proclaimed.

Even before Chakotay could react, Kathryn began contradicting the doctor, "But, but I can't be I had my period about a week and a half a go".

"Hmm," the EMH said as he looked at some read outs on the medical tricorder.

"Was your period particularly light and short?" he asked.

"Yes," Kathryn conceded.

"That wasn't a period, that was a rather rare phenomena that some women experience upon implantation of the fertilized egg in the uterine wall," the EMH paused and looked very directly at Kathryn.

"You are pregnant, about 5 and half weeks. The baby is do in mid February."

At that point Chakotay felt he'd contained himself enough. He picked Kathryn up and swirled her around saying, "Oh Kathryn, my love, my love."He was so overcome with emotion his eyes filled with tears and he buried his face in the tresses of auburn hair at her neck.

"Oh Chakotay, please don't spin me around I'm getting sick again," Kathyrn said and he immediately put her down.

As a hypospray hissed into her neck the doctor said, "Here this will help with the nausea."

"What is it?" Kathryn asked, feeling concern for her unborn child.

"An anti- nausea medication which contains a high level of vitamin B-6, it will help reduce your symptoms and is actually very good for your baby," the doctor explained.

"I can't wait to tell B'Elanna and -" Chakotay began but Kathryn cut him off.

"No, I don't want anyone to know just yet," Kathryn said.

"But why not, sweetheart?" Chakotay asked perplexed.

"I don't want anyone to know I'm pregnant until we're sure I'm not going to miscarry," Kathryn said, thinking how devastating it would be to loose the baby, but how much more so if she had to endure everyone's sympathy.

"Well, I'm fairly sure you're not going to, if you do everything you are told to in terms of proper prenatal care" the doctor said, hoping the prospect of preventing a miscarriage would make his most recalcitrant patient behave herself.

"How can you say that which such certainty?" Kathryn asked.

"Well, for one thing early morning sickness is a good sign that the fetus is developing normally, there are a variety of hormones and growth factors produced during pregnancy that the mother 's system often finds nauseating, plus I've done a genetic screening on the fetus and I can find no signs of genetic anomalies," he turned and looked pointedly at Chakotay when he said the last part of his statement, as he knew the commander was concerned about passing on the "crazy gene" That ran in his family.

"None?" Chakotay asked wanting to confirm what the doctor said.

"None, your child has not inherited the gene for sensory tremens," the doctor stated clearly to put the commander's fears to rest. The commander noticeably relaxed and put his arm around his wife.

"We can keep your pregnancy our secret for a little while if you want Kathryn," Chakotay promised.

"By the second trimester, which is only about 7 weeks away, your risk of miscarriage will have dropped to an extremely low level," the EMH reassured her.

"OK, we'll announce it then, and I suppose you have a long list of dos and don'ts for me," Kathryn said smiling at the EMH.

"Oh, it's not that long but I do want you to pay close attention to it," he said as he handed her a padd.

When Kathryn entered her second trimester she decided Chakotay could start carving the baby's cradle and they could officially announce her pregnancy. Never was a birth announcement more anti-climatic. Kathryn was actually a bit hurt that no one seemed surprised, but B'Elanna explained that the idiotic smile that graced Chakotay's face at odd moments, coupled with his hovering over Kathryn and her actually deigning to eat three nutritious meals a day gave them both away. Over the first few weeks after the couple learned they were pregnant, various members of the crew had became aware or at least suspicious of their captain's condition. By the time she was ten weeks along the entire crew knew and everyone had begun making plans for baby gifts. The crew also went out of their way to make sure the captain was having the healthiest pregnancy she possible could aboard a ship.

November 22, 2379

Early in Kathryn's third trimester Chakotay began to be increasingly anxious about Kathryn and the baby's well being. He was so protective of her that at times she felt like she was suffocating in his attention. They had numerous conflicts arising from his concern for her. One day he found her in a Jeffries tube making repairs on an EPS conduit.

"What the hell do you think you're doing," Chakotay bellowed at his wife, and she dropped the hyperspanner she was using in surprise. She began to try to extricate herself from the cramped compartment as she began to explain to him.

"I'm simply replacing an EPS conduit that is long overdue for maintenance," Kathryn said calmly.

"That's something a maintenance crew can do, a pregnant woman doesn't need to be crawling around in Jeffries tubes," Chakotay commented hotly.

"Perhaps so, but I'm pregnant, not disabled. Besides, I'm bored," she replied. She noticed members of the crew passing by who seemed torn between giving their commanding officers privacy and wanting to stay near to make sure things didn't get out of control.

"Bored?!" Chakotay yelled. "Well, if you're so bored, you go remake the duty roster for the umpteenth time, and I'll make the repairs in the Jeffries tubes. Spirits be damned, Kathryn, why do you have to do stuff like this," he roared.

"All right, that's enough!" Kathryn commanded. "Let's take this disagreement to a less public place," she suggested.

"Fine!" Chakotay said in a quiet but intense voice, he took Kathryn's arm by the elbow and began guiding her towards the nearest turbolift. When they entered the lift, he called for deck three and the couple journeyed in silence to their quarters.

"All right, you want to tell me what's wrong with you lately? Ever since we left Confederation space you've been a bear to live with," she accused.

"Oh, so you did notice that we've left Confederation space, that we are right back to the Delta Quadrant status quo, where we don't know what lies ahead of us. We don't know if and when we'll find another M class planet to gather supplies from, nor do we know whether the next alien species we encounter will welcome us with open arms, or shoot first and ask questions later," Chakotay recited impassionedly.

"We lived like that for years Chakotay and I've never seen it make you so stressed out before," Kathryn observed.

"I never had a pregnant wife to worry about before," he retorted. He took several deep calming breathes. "Damn it Kathryn, why do you have to make this harder on me? Why can't you just take it easy and play things safe?" he asked plaintively.

"Play things safe, does that really sound like me?" Kathryn said with a bit of a laugh.

"I guess not," Chakotay reluctantly agreed and let out a sigh.

Suddenly Chakotay sunk to his knees before Kathryn and hugged her to him, placing his head on her pregnancy-swollen belly. "Can't you understand that I'm scared for you and the baby," Chakotay said, then moved his face away from Kathryn's belly and looked up at her as he felt the baby kick.

"I don't think the baby likes hearing Daddy say he's afraid," Kathryn told him with a grin.

Chakotay placed his hands on Kathryn's belly and spoke to his unborn child, "Daddy's sorry sweet one, but Mommy keeps doing things that stress Daddy out."

"Oh," Kathryn said as she ruffled Chakotay's hair, "Alright you win. I'll stop doing things that might make you more stressed out, OK?"

Chakotay looked up and gave Kathryn his full dimpled grin that was guaranteed to melt her heart. "Thanks and I'll try to keep the paranoia at a minimum," he promised.

"Come on," she said pulling him towards their bedroom. "I'll take it easy and you can massage my feet," she offered.

Just as he started to follow her towards their bed, all thought about what he had been up to when he spotted her in the Jeffries tube gone from his mind, his commbadge bleeped.

"Torres to Chakotay" came B'Elanna's voice.

"Chakotay here," he replied and kissed Kathryn's hand.

"Hey did you get lost?" B'Elanna teased.

"Uh, no just sidetracked," he flashed a grin at Kathryn, "I'll be there in a few minutes," Chakotay assured his Chief Engineer and "little sister".

"Sorry, honey but duty calls," he told Kathryn.

"What are you and B'Elanna up to now?" she asked coyly.

"That's for us to know and you to find out," he teased, obviously in a much better mood.

"Are you two remodeling MORE of my ship?" Kathryn asked as she leaned forward from her spot on their bed to keep Chakotay's retreating form in view.

"Only if you let us start working on deck one, cause we've done everything else we can think of with the rest of the ship," he answered.

"Deck one is definitely of limits, at least until this one gets here, maybe then I'll let you put a nursery in my ready room," she answered rubbing her belly and he nodded.

"I'll be back after duty to give you that foot rub," he promised just before he left their quarters.

January 23, 2180 Sickbay

Kathryn went in for her weekly check-up. The EMH hemmed and hawed and finally opened a communication line with the bridge.

"Commander Chakotay, please report to sick bay as soon as possible," the doctor requested.

A few minutes later Chakotay strode into the sick bay. He saw his very heavily pregnant wife propped up on one of the biobeds.

"What's up, doc?" Chakotay asked and the EMH glared at him for a moment until he realized the commander wasn't trying to make a joke.

"I'm placing the captain on temporary medical leave," the doctor informed him.

"Why? Is there something wrong with the baby?" Chakotay asked in a worried tone, as he slid himself behind Kathryn on the biobed to support her.

"No, there's nothing wrong with the baby, however on Kathryn's last couple of check ups her blood pressure has been elevated and she's shown marked edema. She's also complained of headaches and blurry vision. All of these are symptoms of preeclampsia. For her health, and the baby's, I want her to spend more time off her feet and I want her to have as stress free an environment as possible," the doctor explained.

"I'm turning command of Voyager over to you Chakotay, until sometime after the baby is born," Kathryn told her husband.

"All right," Chakotay said and then kissed his wife. She giggled.

"What are you laughing about?" he asked a bit confused, and maybe even a bit affronted.

"Well, I've never seen a change of command end with the new commanding officer kissing the former commanding officer," Kathryn said with more laughter.

Chakotay grinned and then said, "Well, if it's alright with you doctor, I'll take my wife home and then get back to the command of this ship."

"That's fine, Captain," the EMH said.

"Captain Chakotay?" the EMH repeated the title and added Chakotay's name when he got no response to addressing the man as captain.

"Oh yes, I guess I have to get use to that title again," Chakotay said.

"Is there something more doctor?" he asked.

"Make sure that she stays off her feet as much as possible, but also make sure she gets a bit of exercise each day, perhaps walking around the decks or light exercise in the holodeck. Also make sure she gets back in here for her check ups," the EMH said.

"OK, will do," the new acting captain responded.

February 7, 2380 1315 Bridge of the USS Voyager

"Captain, I'm picking up a signal ahead, it appears to be a warp capable vessel," reported Ensign Harry Kim.

"Open a communication channel, Ensign. Let's see if we can establish first contact in a friendly way," Chakotay said. He was glad he wasn't hooked up to any sort of medical monitors because he was sure his pulse was racing and his blood pressure had spiked. His level of anxiety had gone through the roof.

"This is Captain Chakotay of the USS Voyager, we are on a peaceful journey towards our home in the Alpha quadrant. We seek passage through this area of space and would gladly engage in trade, if you are so inclined," he hoped he didn't sound as strained as he felt. He was very nervous about contact with this or any alien species right now.

"Sir, we are getting a response," Kim reported.

"Put it on screen," Chakotay order rather sharply.

"Greetings Captain Chakotay of the USS Voyager, I am Commander Kernda of the HMS Adventurer," said the Humanoid on the screen in front of them. Commander Kernda looked rather human, though his coloring was a bit redder than any human's and his head was covered with feathers rather than hair.

"We look forward to rendezvousing with your vessel to discuss the terms of your passage through our space and any possible trades that might be beneficial to our two peoples. We should rendezvous in three cycles. I look forward to working with you," the alien commander said.

"That would be most welcome. We will meet you in three cycles," Chakotay responded with a forced smile.

"Alright anyone tell me what three cycles works out to?" Chakotay asked.

"Two hours 15 minutes," Tuvok responded.

"Sir do we want to form an away party or bring a party on board from his ship?" Tom Paris asked.

As Chakotay's acting first officer it was Tom's responsibility to make his commanding officer aware of options.

"I would recommend allowing Commander Kernda to come to Voyager with a small entourage," Tuvok quickly interjected.

"Yes, I think that's a good idea," Chakotay said, glad his officers were handling things as his anxiety was threatening to get the better of him.

"Any feeling for the intentions of these aliens," Chakotay asked.

"They seem sincere enough to me," Tom ventured.

"Yes, well lets just be sure we're ready if they turn out to be less friendly than they seem on the surface," Chakotay addded, hoping he didn't sound as paranoid as he felt.

February 7, 2380 1500 Shuttle Bay of the HMS Adventurer

Commander Kernda turned to his first officer, "Camby, I think everything is going to go just fine, but this Captain Chakotay radiates incredible amounts of anxiety. I don't sense overt hostility, but a nervousness and an extreme protectiveness, as though he were a male animal protecting his mate and young. Stay alert," he warned.

Camby nodded, he knew his captain's empathic abilities were amongst the strongest of his people. If Kernda thought there might be trouble, he'd be sure to have the ship ready. He clapped his commanding officer on the shoulder and told him as much. Kernda told his officers and the shuttle pilot to stop delaying and get them on the way to Voyager.

February 7, 2380 1530 Shuttle bay of the USS Voyager

Chakotay was agitated as he waited for the arrival of the aliens. He and Harry and Tuvok would escort the aliens from the shuttle bay to the conference room off the bridge. After the alien shuttle arrived and the small entourage of officers disembarked, introductions were made and the group proceeded to the turbolifts. As they moved down the corridors, Chakotay saw Kathryn and Miral walking towards the group. The little girl spotted him and began running towards him.

"Uncle Tay! Uncle Hawy!" she called out. The little girl reached her arms up to be picked up. Chakotay swept Miral into his arms and hastily made his way to his wife's side.

As Kernda took in the site of the other commander with a small female child in his arms and his arm around a very pregnant woman, he realized that his analogy of a male animal protecting his mate and child were correct. Now, he not only felt Chakotay's fierce protectiveness, but also his overwhelming love for the woman and the child.

"Please allow me to introduce my wife, Kathryn Janeway and my niece, Miral Paris," Chakotay said, as he allowed the little girl to slide down to the floor but kept a restraining hand on her.

"What lovely women you have in your family," Kernda said.

"Please don't let us keep you from your meeting," Kathryn said as she took Miral's hand and headed off towards one of the ship's new nurseries.

When the group from the Adventurer were settled in the conference room, Kernda decided he should speak to Captain Chakotay.

"Captain, I feel I must tell you something. Many of my race are empathic, myself included. When I first spoke to you over subspace, I was concerned at the amount of anxiety I felt from you. But since meeting your spouse and your niece, I think I understand. Your anxiety was not entirely about our vessel suddenly appearing in your path, but was more truly a natural extension of the anxiety of an expectant father, no?" Kernda asked Chakotay to confirm his suspicions.

Chakotay felt an immense relief when he realized this man understood his anxieties. He suddenly had a good feeling about this first contact.

"Yes, I'm afraid that's true. This is our first child and well being out here, virtually alone and not knowing what dangers may lie ahead of us, has truly ratcheted up my fears," Chakotay admitted.

"I remember how nervous I was when my wife was expecting our first child. I drove her to distraction with my constant worrying," Kernda told Chakotay.

Chakotay nodded and began relating stories of things he'd done that Kathryn found "suffocating". Soon the two groups were talking like old friends, by the time the meeting ended Kernda had assured Chakotay that Voyager could have safe passage through the Alliance's territory and had arranged for some very beneficial trade agreements. Chakotay had also made sure the Alliance knew of the existence of the Confederation and thus Voyager was in a position to provide introductions between the two groups. The Alliance's territory wasn't as large as the Confederation but at least Chakotay knew that for the next six months or so his family and community would be traveling through friendly territory.

February 14, 2380 0200 Kathryn & Chakotay's bedroom

"Chakotay," Kathryn said softly but urgently.

"Hmm?" the sleepy man managed.

"Chakotay, wake up! It's time!" she said, a little louder this time.

"What?" he managed, a bit more coherently.

"It's time for me to go to sickbay. I'm in labor," she informed him.

"Uh huh, that's nice," the sleepy man responded on autopilot.

She shoved him as hard as she could and he fell out of bed with a thud.

"What? Why'd you push me out of bed?" he asked bewildered.

"We need to go to sickbay, the baby's coming," she said, trying valiantly not to get angry with her exhausted husband. She had wakened him several times this week with false labor and he was definitely sleep deprived, but this time she was sure she was in labor, it felt different, more urgent.

"Oh," he said, the words finally registering in his sleep-fogged brain. Once he realized what she was saying, he began the age-old expectant father song and dance. Starting and stopping several different essential activities such as getting dressed, helping Kathryn get out of bed and contacting the doctor. Finally Kathryn decided she needed to take charge and began issuing orders to him.

By the time Kathryn waddled into sickbay with her husband's help, both of Voyager's doctors were waiting to help her with the delivery of her child. And so it became a matter of waiting.

February 14, 2380 0800 Bridge

When alpha shift started, the bridge crew realized that Tuvok's presence in the center chair probably signaled the imminent arrival of the command team's first-born child.

"Has anyone heard how things are going?" Harry asked.

"Neelix said Kikki thought it would be another six or seven hours," Tom answered.

Tuvok considered reprimanding the two officers for the non-duty related conversation, but he realized that the birth of the Kathryn and Chakotay's child was very important to the entire crew.

February 14, 2380 1630 Sickbay

"Push Kathryn!" the EMH urged.

Looking every so slightly demonic, Kathryn levered her self up by pushing against her husband's hand, which she had already crushed and gouged, to scream in the doctor's holographic face, "Say that one more time and I'll decompile you!"

"Come on honey just one more time," Chakotay tried to cajole his wife.

The invective that spewed his way would have shocked him earlier that day, when he was sure his lovely wife didn't know swear words in that many languages, but as her labor had progressed he'd begun to wonder if she was possessed. He was definitely glad he'd spoken to other fathers who had told him that once the baby was born, she'd forget all about the pain of the labor and her various threats to divorce, maim or murder him.

"The baby's head is crowning, with the next contraction bear down hard!' the EMH ordered.

"I can't!" Kathryn wailed.

"I know you're tired but you can do this!" Kikki told her.

With another push the baby's head was cradled in the doctor's holographic hands; one more push and the baby's shoulders were delivered.

Soon the EMH was cleaning off and taking the vital statistics of a beautiful baby girl, who was filling the sickbay with the lusty cries of a newborn experiencing the world outside her mother's womb for the first time.

"Oh Kathryn, Chakotay you have a beautiful daughter!" Kikki told them.

She looked at the couple and saw tears of joy streaming down both faces. Then the EMH placed the baby in Kathryn's arms and she began the ancient ritual all new mothers know, as she counted her babies fingers, stroked her dark hair and gazed into her daughter's dark brown eyes.

Kikki looked into Chakotay's face and saw the same longing in his face that she'd seen in Neelix's when the kittens were born. She knew he was torn between wanting to hold his newborn daughter and not wanting to take the baby out of Kathryn's arms. Just as she thought to say something, Kathryn looked up into her husband's face and realized his desire.

"Chakotay, would you like to hold our daughter?" Kathryn asked.

"Yes," he answered in a soft emotion-choked voice. He reached out his strong hands to take his baby girl in his arms. As he looked down at his daughter, he didn't really see her dark hair and dark eyes that marked her as his daughter, instead he saw the delicate features and skin tone that mirrored her mother's.

"She looks to be a beautiful blend of you two," Kikki commented.

"Do you have a name for her?" the EMH asked.

Chakotay looked at Kathryn, wanting to see if she'd let him give their daughter the name he'd chosen for her before she was even conceived. Kathryn smiled and nodded.

"Dulcinea, her name is Dulcinea," Chakotay declared.

"Ah, a beautiful and fitting name for a child so long desired," the EMH said, as he realized the source of the child names.

"EMH to bridge," the doctor intoned.

"Yes, doctor?" answered Tuvok.

"I'd like to inform you of the addition of a new member to Voyager's crew. Dulcinea Janeway arrived at 1650 today, weighing 3.23 kilograms. Parents and daughter are doing fine," the EMH reported.

Cheering and various comments could be heard over the comm. Chakotay was fairly certain it was Tom who said something about Dulcie being her Daddy's Valentine, and Kathryn was positive it was Mike Ayala who gave a big cheer because he was sure he'd won the baby pool.

"I will enter it into the log," Tuvok replied, then he added before breaking off the communications, "Extend my congratulations to her parents," for Tuvok that was darn near an effusive display of emotion.

Kikki brought a chair out from the doctor's office and offered it to Chakotay to sit in. Once he sat he realized he was exhausted. Chakotay handed Dulcinea back to Kathryn so she could nurse the baby. The doctors quietly left the sickbay, so the new family could spend time together bonding.

The EMH insisted on keeping Kathryn and the baby for a 24-hour period of observation; during that time sickbay was like Grand Central Station with members of the crew coming and going. The crew again gave the commander their communication time so he could contact his sister and Kathryn's mother to give them the news.

The biggest shock of the day was the appearance of Q Jr. He declared his God-cousin gorgeous and said his parents' present to the newborn was their absence, as they were beginning to understand that they tended to upset Chakotay and Kathryn. Q Jr.'s present for Dulcinea was a silver rattle that he said was enchanted. Should the "little princess', as Q Jr. called her, ever really need him, all she had to do was touch the rattle and think of him and he'd be there in a heartbeat. Kathryn was of the opinion that her godson was the one enchanted-by her little girl.

February 15, 2380 2000 Kathryn & Chakotay's Quarters

Kathryn was tired after her first afternoon and evening back in their quarters, so she had gladly allowed Chakotay to take over the job of diapering Dulcie and putting her down to sleep while she rested on the couch. But after a few minutes she heard Chakotay singing to their daughter, and she became curious to see him interacting with their child.

She peeked into their bedroom and saw her husband dressed in his pajama bottoms and their daughter in a diaper. He was holding her close to him, his golden skin against her baby pink skin. Chakotay was shifting his weight from foot to foot, swaying back and forth to the rhythm of the song he was singing. She recognized the song as the one that had inspired Chakotay to name their daughter Dulcinea. She leaned against the doorframe and listened to his warm baritone voice as he serenaded his daughter.

_I have dreamed thee too long,_

_Never seen thee nor touched thee, but known thee with all of my heart, _

_Half a prayer, half a song, _

_Thou hast always been with me, though we have been always apart._

_Dulcinea ... Dulcinea ... _

_I see heaven when I see thee, Dulcinea, _

_And thy name is like a prayer an angel whispers ... _

_Dulcinea ... Dulcinea!_

_If I reach out to thee, _

_Do not tremble and shrink from the touch of my hand on thy hair. _

_Let my fingers but see _

_Thou art warm and alive, and no phantom to fade in the air._

_Dulcinea ... Dulcinea ... _

_I have sought thee, sung thee, dreamed thee, Dulcinea! _

_Now I've found thee, and the world shall know thy glory. _

_Dulcinea ... Dulcinea!_

Chakotay could sense Kathryn in the room with him and Dulcie, so he was not surprised when she placed her arms around him. He turned and smiled down on her, his heart too full to allow him to speak.

Kathryn knew that their daughter was collecting nicknames at an alarming speed. She was "Voyager's little Valentine," "Princess," "The little Commander," "Sweet One," but to her, her daughter would always be Dream. She was her parent's dream come true.

"Come on Chakotay put her in the cradle and let's go to bed, this is one dream that will still be here when we wake in the morning."

The End

Author's Note: Well, I tied up most of the loose ends and filled in some of the gaping holes in the scripts that had so bothered me over the years (though I probably created a few of my own along the way). I've no plans for any sequels but if anyone would like to move forward from here with Voyager's character and use some of the original characters introduced In Some Dreams Can't Wait please let me know what you have in mind and if it seems in keeping with what's here already then I'll give my blessing to your endeavor. Hope you've enjoyed this little Novella


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